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FutureFriend
Dec 28, 2011

piss




Art by yourboymelt

Hello and welcome to



Final Fight "Streetwise" is a 3D "beat-em-up" made by famous Puzzle Fighter Turbo developer "Capcom". Final Fight "Streetwise" is the final game in the popular Final Fight franchise, and it is a mess. It's a game that, while it works, is overloaded with mini-games and a surprisingly decent hip-hop ruined by lovely metal. The back of the box for the European release of Final Fight "Streetwise" promises tracks from MF Doom and RZA but snatches that hope away by providing one track which is just a collab. You also don't play as Mike Haggar, the only Final Fight character people care about. It's a grim and gritty story that handles the grim and gritty aspects with all the subtlety of a Tom and Jerry episode. It is a mess. It is a mistake. I love this game. Welcome to the LP.



The "LP" of Final Fight "Streetwise" will be as following: my fellow fighter friends killeremcee, ChorpSaway and a_raving_loon will join me on this journey. Cut and Uncut video will be provided as usual. We'll be covering most of the sidequests this game has, unless they're minigames in which case they're only shown off once.

There will also be some thread participation, watch to the end of the first video to see what you can do! Good entries will be featured at the end of future updates!

I also ask as a rule to not have any story spoilers, nobody except me commentating knows what's in store for this game.


Hey FutureFriend, ya missed a sidequest, ya dumb oaf!
wow rude, okay first of all, im very smart and not dumb. second of all, this game can be kind of confusing and some of the sidequests are insane to try and find. the only walkthrough of this game i could quickly find never found all the sidequests either!

Hey FutureFriend, you moron stooge, are you going to show off all the upgrades?
first of all there were three stooges and i do not count as one of them. second of all, yes i'll try to. honestly there's not much special to them, they're mostly new combos and extra health so you probably won't notice either way.

Hey FutureFriend, you mondo maroon, are you gonna respect the lore?
Yes.















The Ayshkerbundy is a star within the surrealist final fight streetwise fanart circles.


Twitter user AwrySquare shows us a vision of heaven.

FutureFriend fucked around with this message at 21:47 on Oct 21, 2016

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ChorpSaway
Oct 9, 2012



Rest in peace Handsome Bob, we barely knew ye.

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



my gang name is already "great" "joe"

Great Joe fucked around with this message at 22:48 on Sep 5, 2016

GamesAreSupernice
Jan 3, 2014

Oh, whoa! Check out the Viewing Globe, shorty!


I love this game too, good luck and I hope you get some enjoyment one way or another

Bombogenesis
Mar 27, 2010

Mekkatorque 2016


Dinosaur Gum

Toolman, Cut Man, and the Milkman. Are you sure this isn't an edgy Megaman reboot?

e; My gang name is "Broken Shower."

Bombogenesis fucked around with this message at 00:16 on Aug 23, 2016

Digamma-F-Wau
Mar 22, 2016

...puh-
puhroud..??




they call me "Nipple Custard Cream Pie with a Side of Rye"

also is Poison in this game?

Digamma-F-Wau fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Aug 22, 2016

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007


The boyz call me Jazz Hands, see? Now I'm gonna play some sweet chin music with these here mitts. Nyah, copper!

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

It would be a sad error in judgement to mistake me for a corpse.


Clapping Larry

Not-God-Hand looks like hot garbage.


But there's a turkey in there so its all good.




My gang name is "Salty Asshat"

Jobbo_Fett fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Aug 22, 2016

LordHippoman
May 30, 2013

I, frankly, want this smug Jagen to be my avatar on all forms of social media immediately.

I'm glad our first major villain seems to be named after either a corpse or a boner.

Also my gang name is Soup Spoon Steve.

Digital Jello
Nov 2, 2012

Now I have a machine gun. Ho! Ho! Ho!


Kyle sounds like a dime-store Solid Snake that takes sidequests from prostitutes. Based on this alone, I already know he's going to show true heroism.

tlarn
Mar 1, 2013

You see,
God doesn't help little frogs.

He helps people like me.


Johnny Five-Fists

TooMuchAbstraction
Oct 14, 2012

Hubris

Fun Shoe

They call me Music Man.

TheJayOfSpade
Jun 21, 2012

The Thread was destroyed,
but hey, what can you do?


My Street Name is Hotchy Motchy I'm the sensitive yet stern member of the gang.

TheJayOfSpade fucked around with this message at 02:43 on Aug 30, 2016

FutureFriend
Dec 28, 2011

piss



The Ayshkerbundy posted:

also is Poison in this game?

poison is not in the game, as this game doesn't seem to remember any of the actual popular final fight characters besides Mike the Wrestler

Bombogenesis posted:

Toolman, Cut Man, and the Milkman. Are you sure this isn't an edgy Megaman reboot?

just wait until we get toolman's power of talking about how straight edge he is all the time and refusing to listen to anything besides nu-metal

Digital Jello posted:

Kyle sounds like a dime-store Solid Snake that takes sidequests from prostitutes. Based on this alone, I already know he's going to show true heroism.

speaking of heroes, here's a true fun fact: the story of final fight streetwise is loosely based on the epic of gilgamesh. there's more comparisons to be seen later but for now; cody travers is based on gilgamesh's companion enkidu as they are both wild men who love to throw down!

kjetting
Jan 18, 2004

Hammer Time


I didn't really know it was a franchise until now. I've played the original on so many platforms and never realized they made sequels.
Ok, some quick googling revealed that 2 and 3 were SNES exclusives, that explains a lot. Also, the SNES version of Final Fight seems to have removed almost everything fun and iconic from the game. No co-op multiplayer? No level transitions? Only two playable characters? Blood replaced with explosions? No Poison and Roxy? No Wheelchair for the final boss?

My gangster name is....Chat Bot.

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



You could play as Guy in a rental-exclusive version of the game. Called Final Fight Guy.

David D. Davidson
Nov 17, 2012

Orca lady?

They call me...
Dvd Dnl Dvdsn

David D. Davidson fucked around with this message at 16:00 on Aug 23, 2016

sout
Apr 24, 2014



These devs are silly, they already made a PS2 game about the movie about the book Fight Club, and I'm sure it was amazing.
Don't gently caress with Nail Board

sout fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Aug 23, 2016

ChorpSaway
Oct 9, 2012



My Streetwise name is Ben & Jerry's Phish Food.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.




Grimey Drawer

My Streetwise name is Street cause I sure ain't wise.

MelvinBison
Nov 17, 2012

"Is this the ideal world that you envisioned?"
"I guess you could say that."



Pillbug

kjetting posted:

I didn't really know it was a franchise until now. I've played the original on so many platforms and never realized they made sequels.
Ok, some quick googling revealed that 2 and 3 were SNES exclusives, that explains a lot. Also, the SNES version of Final Fight seems to have removed almost everything fun and iconic from the game. No co-op multiplayer? No level transitions? Only two playable characters? Blood replaced with explosions? No Poison and Roxy? No Wheelchair for the final boss?

My gangster name is....Chat Bot.

And don't forget the Playstation fighting game "Revenge," which is its own brand of awful.

I'm just going with Socially Awkward Tyrone.

Fabulousvillain
May 2, 2015


My Streetwise name is brad, just brad.

GirlCalledBob
Jul 17, 2013


This game is so 90s it's amazing, I'm looking forward to more witty voice overs and punching.

My gang name is Squirrel because when the going gets tough I run up a tree and hide until it's over.

Color Printer
May 9, 2011

You get used to it. I don't
even see the code. All I see
is Ipecac, Scapular, Polyphemus...




Every gang name that relates to meat is a good gang name. Empirical evidence will back me up on this. My streetwise name is Butt Portions.

ChorpSaway
Oct 9, 2012



I changed my mind, my Streetwise name is Cold Stone (Creamery) Steve Austin. Something to really chill my enemies.

Dr.Smasher
Nov 27, 2002

Cyberpunk 1987


The Bonecrusher thinks this should've never been made as a gritty early 2000s reboot

C. Everett Koop
Aug 18, 2008

by Smythe


My gang name is Hardcore Craig. My irl name is not Craig nor am I hardcore.

Jobbo_Fett
Mar 7, 2014

It would be a sad error in judgement to mistake me for a corpse.


Clapping Larry

ChorpSaway posted:

I changed my mind, my Streetwise name is Cold Stone (Creamery) Steve Austin. Something to really chill my enemies.

I hope you have some friends: The Underbaker and Candy Kane

Digamma-F-Wau
Mar 22, 2016

...puh-
puhroud..??




C. Everett Koop posted:

My irl name is not Craig nor am I hardcore.

not with that attitude you (and it) ain't

Roberto_Silencio
Mar 9, 2004

lets start advertising and make us some real money

Sweaty Harold checking in. Always wanted to check this game out, but then forgot about it, then remembered, then couldn't find it, then forgot about it again.

Neurion
Jun 3, 2013

The musical fruit
The more you eat
The more you hoot


My street name is Kid Nickels, but I only carry checks.

Neurion fucked around with this message at 04:46 on Aug 24, 2016

Shei-kun
Dec 2, 2011

Screw you, physics!


When people hear that Taco Tuesday is in town, they run in fear.

Scaramouche
Mar 26, 2001

SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!



Can't have a final fight thread without hortyort's epic saga:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ce9J-J30B3o

Great Joe
Aug 13, 2008



GirlCalledBob posted:

This game is so NOUGHTIES it's amazing, I'm looking forward to more witty voice overs and punching.
Hello and let me tell you about my upcoming "REMEMBER THE NOUGHTIES" playlist. It includes such noughties favourites as "Whip My Hair" by Willow Smith and "Sk8er Boy" by Avril Lavigne.

Five
Jan 6, 2009



My badass gang nickname is Gary Lovowitz

Wordybird
Oct 22, 2013

I like Chicken.
I like Liver.
Meow Mix Meow Mix please reconsider.

Folks around here call me Aberdeen Angus.

WombatCyborg
Apr 2, 2011




Our gang name is Street in the Sheets, cause I'm a Sheet in the Streets.

Kaboom Dragoon
May 7, 2010

The greatest of feasts



I remember seeing some concept art for this. Apparently Cammy was going to be in it, but someone decided, no, that might remind people of better games, so she was nixed.

Also make way for Gary the Hot Soup!

marshmallow creep
Dec 10, 2008

I've been sitting here for 5 mins trying to think of a joke to make but I just realised the animators of Mass Effect already did it for me



Cody was always my favorite Final Fight guy, and I can sort of dig his turn into some kind of fight addicted nihilist in the bright and colorful when he's in Street Fighter, but his turn here is just depressing.

My street name is Milk Crate.

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RareAcumen
Dec 28, 2012






They call me the Trash Man because I am constantly associated with garbage. Whether I'm thrown into garbage cans or being beaten with them.

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