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jimmyjams
Jan 10, 2001


one time in third grade a friend farted so loud the girl next to him jumped and fell out of her chair

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just ray
Jan 3, 2014

by merry exmarx


i once farted so hard that poo poo came out of my rear end in a top hat and then i vomited

FlimFlam Imam
Mar 1, 2007

Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams

I farted real loud about 10 years ago and it's still echoing off the sides of mountains.

Toilet Shoes
Aug 22, 2016

by Lowtax


And that man was me.

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


I tried so hard to fart once I herniated a disc.

That's one stubborn fart, I tell ya!

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015



I was chillin with a Golgotha once and I farted so bad he made some awkward excuse and left.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!


Lipstick Apathy

I can fart powerfully though to shake the cushions of a couch so my friends can feel it in their butt.

TwoStepBoog
Apr 12, 2008



i once farted in at work and it was really bad and someone was like "holy gently caress, dude" and there was only like 8 of us so everyone knew it was me
anyway that's my story
i quit that job a month later

Helen Skelter
Jan 7, 2004

sometimes I pee on my balls

Once I tried to fart but I pooped.

ContraBoss
Dec 6, 2005

Well *I* only read the New Yorker and eat Fancy Feast.


Rufus T. Turnbuckle posted:

Once I tried to fart but I pooped.

Welcome to GBS

Helen Skelter
Jan 7, 2004

sometimes I pee on my balls

ContraBoss posted:

Welcome to GBS

Thanks, I'm enjoying my stay.

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo


i farted on a bug and it died

artsy fartsy
May 9, 2014


Several years ago I went to Hawaii on a school trip and met up with a friend and on the last day and we ate breakfast and he gave me this teeny tiny red pepper he'd grown himself to put on my English muffin--so good but sooooooooo hot.

Then I got on one of those huge planes and sat in the very middle of this crammed mass of students and other travelers and when we got into the air I had to fart really bad. It came out silently so I thought I'd gotten away with something, but then the smell hit.

I have never, in my entire life, farted like this. It smelled so hot, like pouring lava up your nose. It stank like a week-old diaper left in a dumpster in the middle of a Texas summer. It was like a skunk got under the house and died after spraying a bunch of other animals so hard that they died too. It was like a park restroom at an outdoor chili cook-off. It was evil.

And I just kept farting like that, over and over, for the entire duration of the cross-Pacific five-hour flight.

Tato
Jun 19, 2001

DIRECTIVE 236: Promote pro-social values


I reached over to pick up a pencil in the middle of a science test in middle school. It was dead silent as the fart thunderously ripped out of my rear end and reverberated off the walls. I kept my head down and pretended like I was retying my shoes as I prayed for god to strike me down and kill me. I don't remember how I did on the test

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004
LUKE SKYWALKER FUCKS REY AND SHE CALLS HIM DADDY


Whenever I fart it's a 50/50 chance I'm gonna poo poo myself too.

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SOME PIG
Aug 12, 2004

Hittin' Switches,
Twistin' wigs with
Phat Radical Mathematical type Scriptures


artsy fartsy posted:

Several years ago I went to Hawaii on a school trip and met up with a friend and on the last day and we ate breakfast and he gave me this teeny tiny red pepper he'd grown himself to put on my English muffin--so good but sooooooooo hot.

Then I got on one of those huge planes and sat in the very middle of this crammed mass of students and other travelers and when we got into the air I had to fart really bad. It came out silently so I thought I'd gotten away with something, but then the smell hit.

I have never, in my entire life, farted like this. It smelled so hot, like pouring lava up your nose. It stank like a week-old diaper left in a dumpster in the middle of a Texas summer. It was like a skunk got under the house and died after spraying a bunch of other animals so hard that they died too. It was like a park restroom at an outdoor chili cook-off. It was evil.

And I just kept farting like that, over and over, for the entire duration of the cross-Pacific five-hour flight.

Username checks out

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