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Cnut the Great
Mar 30, 2014

Moridin920 posted:

oh man you could pretend you were cumming all over it lol

a flood of Biblical proportions

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Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack
im glad this happened

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
russia, beaten again


:grin:

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord
which apollo mission is the one in the op from?

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

That Robot posted:

which apollo mission is the one in the op from?

Apollo 12 if legit.

"Pete" would be Pete Conrad. the Lunar Module Pilot and Moon Rock Fucker would be Alan Bean.

They also had porn on their mission.

This is why we now have the euphemism about getting one's rocks off.


EDIT: NASA even hosts the porn. (NSFW because of poorly photocopied and then crappy-scanned boobs)

Cthulu Carl fucked around with this message at 01:19 on Aug 26, 2016

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008
I'm glad we got some space-porn in this thread.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

Fallows posted:


Bean presents a piece of the first moon rock to be touched by a human penis at the Gasometer Oberhausen in March 2010.

"moon rock" yeah right it's a loving space turd :xd:

SOME PIG
Aug 12, 2004

Hittin' Switches,
Twistin' wigs with
Phat Radical Mathematical type Scriptures

Falun Bong Refugee posted:

I wanna get space high.

I want to be the first person to smoke a moon rock

Helical Nightmares
Apr 30, 2009
:stare: where are you finding this OP? I need a link. Several in fact.

Lucky Guy
Jan 24, 2013

TY for no bm

im gonna vote for this guy for president

The Twinkie Czar
Dec 31, 2004
I went for super stud.

Cthulu Carl posted:

Apollo 12 if legit.

"Pete" would be Pete Conrad. the Lunar Module Pilot and Moon Rock Fucker would be Alan Bean.

They also had porn on their mission.

This is why we now have the euphemism about getting one's rocks off.


EDIT: NASA even hosts the porn. (NSFW because of poorly photocopied and then crappy-scanned boobs)

I think the last page of that is also a prank. That level of geological observation and terminology was beyond the grasp of that crew. They would read it to screw with the ground crew and sound smart to the public.

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

The Twinkie Czar posted:

I think the last page of that is also a prank. That level of geological observation and terminology was beyond the grasp of that crew. They would read it to screw with the ground crew and sound smart to the public.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apollo_12#Stunts_and_mementos

The porn and geology terms were slipped into the checklists by the back-up crew. They also hid a Playboy calendar for the CSM pilot.

Though Bean also did smuggle up a camera timer to gently caress with the photo lab guys, but lost it on one of the moon walks. Probably while looking for the most vagina-like rock.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
I don't see why they even bother with a waste storage compartment. Just shoot your poop directly into the sun, no muss no fuss.

Not only is it clean and environmentally friendly, how great would it be to be able to say that all light and life on Earth is fueled by your burning poop?

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Gabriel Pope posted:

I don't see why they even bother with a waste storage compartment. Just shoot your poop directly into the sun, no muss no fuss.

Not only is it clean and environmentally friendly, how great would it be to be able to say that all light and life on Earth is fueled by your burning poop?

They probably wanted to do tests on some of it, at least.

Scott Kelly shipped his poop back to the boys in the lab while he was on the ISS, I think. And it came down on Elon Musk's Dragons so part of his fortune is from manure hauling.

SOME PIG
Aug 12, 2004

Hittin' Switches,
Twistin' wigs with
Phat Radical Mathematical type Scriptures

Cthulu Carl posted:

This is why we now have the euphemism about getting one's rocks off.

Really?

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

Gabriel Pope posted:

I don't see why they even bother with a waste storage compartment. Just shoot your poop directly into the sun, no muss no fuss.

Not only is it clean and environmentally friendly, how great would it be to be able to say that all light and life on Earth is fueled by your burning poop?

I imagine the reasoning goes something like this. It would be annoying to calculate and it would take a hella long time to actually get there. Probably long enough that there is a non zero chance that in the future somebodies space-car gets a big old load of dookie on the windshield while they are cruising past the sun.

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
false flags mods knew about space turds

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

reignofevil posted:

I imagine the reasoning goes something like this. It would be annoying to calculate and it would take a hella long time to actually get there. Probably long enough that there is a non zero chance that in the future somebodies space-car gets a big old load of dookie on the windshield while they are cruising past the sun.

Sounds more like a feature than a bug to me.

White Phosphorus
Sep 12, 2000

Cthulu Carl posted:

EDIT: NASA even hosts the porn. (NSFW because of poorly photocopied and then crappy-scanned boobs)

Holy poo poo good old days were REAL!

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006


I mean, sure, why not? Why else would we have a colloquialism like that?

John Denver Hoxha
May 31, 2014

What a persistent nightmare!
....but enough about my posts
and just how are you supposed to shoot your poo poo into the sun and ensure it doesn't just enter some other orbit that leads to it taking out a satellite or spacecraft? I'm picturing like a poo poo trajectory computer with all these delta vs displayed for different turds lol

"and it appears that my cumshot is now in its apogee"

John Denver Hoxha fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Aug 26, 2016

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

John Denver Hoxha posted:

and just how are you supposed to shoot your poo poo into the sun and ensure it doesn't just enter some other orbit that leads to it taking out a satellite or spacecraft? I'm picturing like a poo poo trajectory computer with all these delta vs displayed for different turds lol

"and it appears that my cumshot is now in its apogee"

Realtalk they would probably make an app called Shitter to track space-poop in real-time.

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

yes

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

reignofevil posted:

Realtalk they would probably make an app called Shitter to track space-poop in real-time.

Shittr

Justin Godscock
Oct 12, 2004

Listen here, funnyman!
The Apollo astronauts were all military dudes so does it really surprise anyone that being isolated from humanity in a metal box with a couple other dudes will resort in a dick getting whipped out?

wane tendo
Mar 19, 2005

Buglord

Cthulu Carl posted:

They probably wanted to do tests on some of it, at least.

Scott Kelly shipped his poop back to the boys in the lab while he was on the ISS, I think. And it came down on Elon Musk's Dragons so part of his fortune is from manure hauling.

dragons? musk would try to jump start the sobornost

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

John Young smuggled a roast beef sandwich aboard Gemini 3.

I bet the Apollo guys were pissed off that he ruined that for the rest of them when they had to resort to loving rocks. It's be like having to wipe your rear end with pine cones because the camp counselor got all PO'ed because a camper once snuck in a roll of Quilted Northern.

Ruggan
Feb 20, 2007
WHAT THAT SMELL LIKE?!


would my cum burn up re-entering the atmosphere???

The Twinkie Czar
Dec 31, 2004
I went for super stud.

Justin Godscock posted:

The Apollo astronauts were all military dudes so does it really surprise anyone that being isolated from humanity in a metal box with a couple other dudes will resort in a dick getting whipped out?

Good ol' Moondick was on Apollo 12, an all Navy crew with an all Air Force backup crew. That may have amped up the shenanigans. But the prank with the scripted geology terminology makes me think of Apollo 17's Harrison Schmitt, a non military, real geologist dude.

Genesplicer
Oct 19, 2002

I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!

Total Clam
Definitely Al Bean. drat. He's always been one of my heroes, ever since I followed the Apollo 12 mission live.

Not only a great astronaut, but also a great artist.

And now I learn that he donged a moon rock????



















This makes me respect him even more.

meet girls at the store
Nov 4, 2002
Are we sure it wasn't Buzz Aldrin? Because if you follow him at all, it sounds exactly like something he'd do.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
I've seen Apollo 18. Those weren't rocks.

Blorange
Jan 31, 2007

A wizard did it

There is a convenient -- TIME SKIP -- on page 239 of NASA's official transcript that lines up.

http://www.jsc.nasa.gov/history/mission_trans/AS12_CM.PDF

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!
Lipstick Apathy

Justin Godscock posted:

The Apollo astronauts were all military dudes so does it really surprise anyone that being isolated from humanity in a metal box with a couple other dudes will resort in a dick getting whipped out?

I think it probably would have happened with any group of dudes but definitely the fastest with nerdy soldier guys.

Toadvine
Mar 16, 2009
Please disregard my advice w/r/t history.
Because navy boys certainly don't get they dicks out at a moment's notice :rolleyes:

Morglon
Jan 13, 2010

Safe and sound, detached from reality.
Just like your posting.
Hello there moon sailor. Wait.

bald gnome error
Feb 9, 2011
there's this dispensary in my city that sells moon rocks. its nugs dipped in oil + rolled in kief.

anyway im gonna be the first human to put a moon rock in my bussy

Germstore
Oct 17, 2012

A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time
There's a bunch of lost or stolen moon rocks. I bet some billionaire is rubbing his dick on a moon rock right now.

Ceciltron
Jan 11, 2007

Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!
Pillbug

Cthulu Carl posted:

.

EDIT: NASA even hosts the porn. (NSFW because of poorly photocopied and then crappy-scanned boobs)

God Bless The US AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Has someone keistered a moon rock yet?

I bet one of them did so they could have their own moon rock and soon we'll find out about the rear end Rock that that's been passed from father to son.

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