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epileptic_ev
Aug 25, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

Sid Vicious posted:

and you tried to tell me you weren't dare you sneaky little such and such

who is dare anyway can u send me his doxxx or porno videos

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Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe

Jose posted:

is it a breakfast burrito with chorizo in because thats a good cured meat

i get ham and bacon in my breakfast burritos usually

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

epileptic_ev posted:

who is dare anyway can u send me his doxxx or porno videos

post some cured meats since you just sniped this page

Cartouche
Jan 4, 2011

Enfield posted:

lol shut the gently caress up

Smoked Enfield is not good, or so I've read on the internets.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
if you're curing your own meat take the sock off the human leg unlike this poster also don't let it go mouldy

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3438423&pagenumber=29&perpage=40#post432200869

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We

a hole-y ghost posted:

How much should I eat if I want an increase in colorectal cancer risk?

well I mean fifty grams a day cause an eighteen percent cancer risk increase so as long as you stay nicely above this mark daily and charr your meat to poo poo you are on a good track

regular smoking and booze will help you reach your butt cancer goals

epileptic_ev
Aug 25, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo
u ever get the schizo wandering rapper stuff fixed?

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Lichy posted:

well I mean fifty grams a day cause an eighteen percent cancer risk increase so as long as you stay nicely above this mark daily and charr your meat to poo poo you are on a good track

regular smoking and booze will help you reach your butt cancer goals
What if I'm watching my weight though, can I just put the sausage directly into my colon?

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

a hole-y ghost posted:

What if I'm watching my weight though, can I just put the sausage directly into my colon?

i can put my sausage in your colon if you want

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
i love a good charcuterie plate

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We

a hole-y ghost posted:

What if I'm watching my weight though, can I just put the sausage directly into my colon?

if you're that desperate for the sweet release of death just put booze there instead IMO

a dog from hell
Oct 18, 2009

by zen death robot

Lichy posted:

if you're that desperate for the sweet release of death just put booze there instead IMO

Too slow. Need faster.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Lichy posted:

if you're that desperate for the sweet release of death just put booze there instead IMO
ah yes, the millenia-old beloved central american tradition

Bulgogi Hoagie
Jun 1, 2012

We

a dog from hell posted:

Too slow. Need faster.

hooch and a jury rigged tire pump

Principals Orifice
Aug 23, 2016

by Lowtax

Moridin920 posted:

i love a good charcuterie plate

this new charcuterie opened in my city called trotters and they are just loving amazing

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
i just watched that Anthony Bourdain travel show and he went to Marseilles and had some great cured meats and was waving them at the camera and I was yelling at the TV

that bastard

Fat-Lip-Sum-41.mp3
Nov 15, 2003
Lebanon bologna is the best sandwich bologna. By comparison, Oscar Meyer tastes like dogshit.

loving scumbags serving oscar drat meyer five miles away from Lebanon County...

Enfield
May 30, 2011

by Nyc_Tattoo

Cartouche posted:

Smoked Enfield is not good, or so I've read on the internets.

i taste like cigarette butts and mango salsa

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Cartouche posted:

Smoked Enfield is not good, or so I've read on the internets.
It's a textural thing

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Spicy Genoa salami is the best cure meat.

ROFLburger
Jan 12, 2006

Rutibex posted:

Spicy Genoa salami is the best cure meat.

you're thinking of prosciutto, bitch

epileptic_ev
Aug 25, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

Enfield posted:

i taste like cigarette butts and mango salsa

honey of the gods etc

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013
I care the exact correct amount about this, OP.

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011

All new" Rings of Fire"
Gabagool is love

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
i might go to a deli tomorrow and buy a bunch of meats and cheeses i can't really afford after upgrading my gaming rig

Womyn Capote
Jul 5, 2004


Parody thread idea: Curved meats

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
jamon iberico is the best cured meat actually but its so loving expensive if you're not in the Iberian peninsula. if you are eat it non-stop

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008

Lichy posted:

you should aim to eat less than fifty grams of processed meat a day if you want to avoid a significant increase in colorectal cancer risk, or ideally partake in processed and red meats only infrequently

if possible, you should choose processed meats and prepare your own meats using methods that minimise the formation of polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, which along with nitrates and nitrites are hypothesised to be the main carcinogenic agents present in these foods

this can be accomplished in grilling, for example, by reducing charr marks and cooking at a lower temperature, as well as minimising the amount of fat in the ingredients

By the time this kills me they will either have cured cancer or I will be bored of living anyway.

*puts burgers on the grill*

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
die at 60 having eaten all the best food or 100 having eaten bland food all your life and barely lived hard choice

buckets of buckets
Apr 8, 2012

CHECK OUT MY AWESOME POSTS
https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=114&perpage=40#post447051278

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3681373&pagenumber=91&perpage=40#post444280066

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3818944&pagenumber=196&perpage=40#post472627338

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3788178&pagenumber=405&perpage=40#post474195694

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3831643&pagenumber=5&perpage=40#post475694634
what were the meats sick with OP

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Bitter Mushroom posted:

what were the meats sick with OP

not having bacteria

bitmap
Aug 8, 2006

Yo what's a good starting point for someone looking to cure he own meats

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

bitmap posted:

Yo what's a good starting point for someone looking to cure he own meats

bacon is the easiest even if you#re not going to smoke it. but buy this https://www.amazon.com/Charcuterie-Craft-Salting-Smoking-Curing/dp/0393058298

and it'll have instructions for anything you will want

Vegetable
Oct 22, 2010

i scrolled through the thread and the only food pic was in the OP

disappointed

bitmap
Aug 8, 2006

Well I just bought that book so thanks and peace

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Vegetable posted:

i scrolled through the thread and the only food pic was in the OP

disappointed

its only 2 pages but have an effort post then









rip

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

bitmap posted:

Well I just bought that book so thanks and peace

depending on where you live you might need a dedicated fridge with stuff to regulate humidity to make the more complicated stuff but idk i've never tried to make any of that

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Bitter Mushroom posted:

what were the meats sick with OP
That's my joke, I already made it in this thread and I saw the joke in a Garfield strip which was in a Garfield collection I bought fifteen years ago with my own allowance money, so it's my joke.

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Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer
also i know its only been 2 pages but i've forgotten if anyone posted the goon who tried to cure a human leg and failed :nms:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3438423&pagenumber=29&perpage=40#post432200869

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