8 Lies About Dinosaurs You Need to Stop Believing

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > 8 Lies About Dinosaurs You Need to Stop Believing

nigga crab pollock: Mar 26, 2010; by Lowtax

gary oldmans diary posted:

they found like one fossil with feather marks after over a century looking with nothing to show for it and all of a sudden this was thrown around like fact and every fossil with anything to do with feathers ever since then is added to the evidence for all dinosaurs having feather because "well its probably a dinosaur feather its old"
nevermind that theyre tarding up imagery of dinosaurs with pictures of dinosaurs covered in feathers that we recognize as the type birds use for flight whereas flightless dinosaur feathers would not have evolutionary pressure toward that design and would likely have feathers you likely wouldnt even call feathers if you saw one
and its always brightly-colored bird feathers theyre covered by with all range of purposes because surely based on this no-evidence the velociraptor adorned every color of the rainbow

paleontologists need to get loving real jobs

Avimimus portentosus (inferred 1987: ulnar ridge)[15][16]
Sinosauropteryx prima (1996)[17]
Protarchaeopteryx robusta (1997)[18]
GMV 2124 (1997)[19]
Caudipteryx zoui (1998)[20]
Rahonavis ostromi (inferred 1998: quill knobs; possibly avialan[21])[22]
Shuvuuia deserti (1999)[23]
Beipiaosaurus inexpectus (1999)[24]
Sinornithosaurus millenii (1999)[25]
Caudipteryx dongi (2000)[26]
Caudipteryx sp. (2000)[27]
Microraptor zhaoianus (2000)[28]
Nomingia gobiensis (inferred 2000: pygostyle)[29]
Psittacosaurus sp.? (2002)[30]
Scansoriopteryx heilmanni (2002; possibly avialan)[31]
Yixianosaurus longimanus (2003)[32]
Dilong paradoxus (2004)[33]
Pedopenna daohugouensis (2005; possibly avialan[34])[35]
Jinfengopteryx elegans (2005)[36][37]
Juravenator starki (2006)[38][39]
Sinocalliopteryx gigas (2007)[40]
Velociraptor mongoliensis (inferred 2007: quill knobs)[7]
Epidexipteryx hui (2008; possibly avialan)[41]
Similicaudipteryx yixianensis (inferred 2008: pygostyle; confirmed 2010)[42][43]
Anchiornis huxleyi (2009; possibly avialan)[44]
Tianyulong confuciusi? (2009)[45]
Xiaotingia zhengi (2011; possibly avialan)[46]
Yutyrannus huali (2012)[47]
Sciurumimus albersdoerferi (2012)[48]
Ornithomimus edmontonicus (2012)[49]
Ningyuansaurus wangi (2012)[50]
Eosinopteryx brevipenna (2013; possibly avialan)[51]
Jianchangosaurus yixianensis (2013)[52]
Aurornis xui (2013; possibly avialan)[53]
Changyuraptor yangi (2014)[54]
Kulindadromeus zabaikalicus? (2014)[55]
Citipati osmolskae (inferred 2014: pygostyle)[56]
Conchoraptor gracilis (inferred 2014: pygostyle)[56]
Deinocheirus mirificus (inferred 2014: pygostyle)[57]
Yi qi (2015)[58]
Zhenyuanlong suni (2015)[59]
Dakotaraptor steini (inferred 2015: quill knobs)[60]
Apatoraptor pennatus (inferred 2016: quill knobs)[61]

also they know what colors the feathers were by looking at the structure of the feathers, because feathers do not have pigmentation

# ? Aug 26, 2016 15:56

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 01:44

Volcott: Mar 30, 2010; People paying American dollars to let other people know they didn't agree with someone's position on something is the lifeblood of these forums.

Sid Vicious posted:

yup yup yup

And they couldn't afford a tombstone for her but people donated to whatever people donated to instead of kickstarters in the 90s and now there is a tombstone.

Super hosed up. Ruined my day when I found out.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 15:57

reallivedinosaur: Jun 13, 2012; Ogdober subrise! XDDD

i can make up words too

farticleder monduplopex circa 1233 re 123/5

# ? Aug 26, 2016 15:58

Germstore: Oct 17, 2012; A Serious Candidate For a Serious Time

CJacobs posted:

9. Hot dogs are not a sandwich

MODS!

# ? Aug 26, 2016 15:59

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

im sure the girl who did the voice of a dinosaur is real happy that she has a tombstone now

# ? Aug 26, 2016 16:04

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Zorodius posted:

I had no idea Six Sweater Charlie was so smart about dinosaurs

im full of surprises and beer

# ? Aug 26, 2016 16:44

8-Bit Scholar: Jan 23, 2016; by FactsAreUseless

VectorSigma posted:

honestly, in some ways this is a fair bit scarier.

# ? Aug 26, 2016 19:48

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

# ? Aug 26, 2016 20:58

Son of Rodney: Feb 22, 2006; ohmygodohmygodohmygod

REAL FACT YOU SHOULD DEFINITY BELIEVE

ANKYLOSAURUS IS IN! FACT! THE MOST HARDCORE DINOSAUR THERE WAS

LOOK AT THAT CLUB, LOOK AT THOSE SPIKES, LOOK AT THAT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THAT SAYS "OH YEAH, WELL SCREW YOU BUDDY! THESE SPIKES DON'T RUN"

gently caress YEAH, ANKYLOSAURUS!

# ? Aug 26, 2016 21:15

Business Gorillas: Mar 11, 2009

You know all of these liberals make a fuss about building things on Indian burial grounds but for all we know we've been building on dinosaur burial grounds for years and all of our problems in society are caused by dinosaur poltergeists

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:06

Maldoror: Oct 5, 2003; by R. Guyovich; Nap Ghost

8-Bit Scholar posted:

honestly, in some ways this is a fair bit scarier.

heres da whole pic

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:13

500excf type r: Mar 7, 2013; I'm as annoying as the high-pitched whine of my motorcycle, desperately compensating for the lack of substance in my life.

that chickadee is one terrible lizard

# ? Aug 26, 2016 22:26

Cactus Ghost: Dec 20, 2003; you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

Son of Rodney posted:

REAL FACT YOU SHOULD DEFINITY BELIEVE

ANKYLOSAURUS IS IN! FACT! THE MOST HARDCORE DINOSAUR THERE WAS

LOOK AT THAT CLUB, LOOK AT THOSE SPIKES, LOOK AT THAT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS THAT SAYS "OH YEAH, WELL SCREW YOU BUDDY! THESE SPIKES DON'T RUN"

gently caress YEAH, ANKYLOSAURUS!

HEAVY

loving

METAL

# ? Aug 27, 2016 00:03

Virgil Thatcher: Mar 3, 2008

WTB original vhs copy of Dinosaurs Dinosaurs Dinosaurs where the guy makes a joke about anal probing after turning into a dinosaur will pay top dollar

# ? Aug 27, 2016 01:11

Lord Decimus Barnacle: Jun 25, 2005; Hell Gem

Dinosaurs don't taste like chicken. It is in fact chickens which taste like dinosaurs

# ? Aug 27, 2016 02:07

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

yo this old bone got some scratches on it

that must mean feathers

# ? Aug 27, 2016 07:44

Moon Atari: Dec 26, 2010

VectorSigma posted:

gently caress, this changes everything.

# ? Aug 27, 2016 07:50

Sperghetti: Apr 21, 2010

It's easy to resist a dinosaur's tender sexual advances

Wrong!

Sperghetti fucked around with this message at 08:41 on Aug 27, 2016

# ? Aug 27, 2016 08:37

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

10: Humans supposedly didn't evolve from dinosaurs.

Evidence to the contrary:

# ? Aug 27, 2016 09:43

symbolic: Nov 2, 2014

11: contrary to the popular theory put forth by Alice N. Chains, the devil did not in fact put dinosaurs here. that is a myth.

# ? Aug 27, 2016 09:46

Frosted Flake: Sep 13, 2011; Semper Shitpost Ubique

Realtalk: palaeontology has come a long way since the 90's.

Check out the Tetrapod Zoology podcast, it's fantastic.

# ? Aug 27, 2016 10:50

Nut to Butt: Apr 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

therre are no known maneating dinosaurs

# ? Aug 27, 2016 11:29

Cnut the Great: Mar 30, 2014

steinrokkan posted:

10: Humans supposedly didn't evolve from dinosaurs.

Evidence to the contrary:

Super Mario continues to be relevant to this thread

# ? Aug 28, 2016 04:55

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

I hope they all die they're terrible.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:21

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

12. Dinosaurs are extinct.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:22

clam the FUCK down: Dec 20, 2013

If a meteor killed the dinosaurs then wouldn't there be just a bunch of dead dinosaurs laying around in space? Seems strange to me there are no dinosaur bodies in space.

If a paleo-enterologist could comment please.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:29

Senor Tron: May 26, 2006

While that T-Rex would have been way too warm with that many feathers, it is interesting how hard it is to recreate what ancient animals actually would have looked like.

Here are some modern animals recreated using the same "shrink wrapping" technique often used in older depictions of dinosaurs where they just attached the bare minimum required amount of muscles and skin and called it a day.

Baboon

Swans

Chicken

Pelican and Stork

Killer Whale

Bald Eagle :911:

Dolphin

Human

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:36

DiHK: Feb 4, 2013; by Azathoth

Smoking is what really made the dinosaurs extinct.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:37

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Senor Tron posted:

Human

im a little bothered by how its left foot is almost directly under its center of mass and flat against the ground at this point in its stride when it should be further back with the heel slightly off the ground
is it theorized that the hoo-mans used running in place to confuse their prey as part of a pack hunting technique

and its arms are at full extension where they should be when the legs are also at full extension (this makes no sense!)

gary oldmans diary fucked around with this message at 05:54 on Aug 28, 2016

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:51

VectorSigma: Jan 20, 2004; Transform
and
Freak Out

the dimosars farted to much and wnt enstink

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:51

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

Bigfoot is a dinosaur and nobody every found dead bigfoots because they eat their dead

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:56

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

"[img posted:

http://fi.somethingawful.com/safs/titles/8f/14/00021033.0008.jpg[/img]" post="463651214"]
Bigfoot is a dinosaur and nobody every found dead bigfoots because they eat their dead

i cant deny

# ? Aug 28, 2016 05:57

girth brooks part 2: Sep 6, 2011; Bush did 911; Fun Shoe

There were no Dinosaurs named Frank however the name Earl was very popular

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:02

girth brooks part 2: Sep 6, 2011; Bush did 911; Fun Shoe

It isn't true that when Reginal VelJohnson saw an episode of the show he reportedly called up the producers in a drunken tirade and said, "You motherfuckers! I'm coming up there and I'm bringing my dick chopper." it was actually just a stream of anti-semitic slurs

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:05

girth brooks part 2: Sep 6, 2011; Bush did 911; Fun Shoe

The eldest son Robbie's skeezy best friend Spike was played by Christopher Meloni who would later reprise this roll on Law & Order: SVU

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:07

Nolan Arenado: May 8, 2009

clam down girth

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:08

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

gently caress the ROW posted:

these facts are a bitter pill to some of my dino beliefs, but hell, times change

I'm going to blow up a museum.

Allah osteology

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:08

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

girth brooks part 2 posted:

There were no Dinosaurs named Frank however the name Earl was very popular

Hmmmm... perhaps someone needs to question where the Dixie Chicks were the night the dinosaurs "went extinct"...

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:09

Dinosaurmageddon: Jul 7, 2007; by zen death robot; Hell Gem

Dinosaurs are actually dragon bones that need to be ground up for Chinese dong medicine.

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:19

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# ? Apr 27, 2024 01:44

kommisar: Jan 2, 2007

Remember that time Dr. Jeff Golblum's African American (?) daughter used gymnastics to kick that dinosaur out of a window?

P cool imho

# ? Aug 28, 2016 06:40

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > 8 Lies About Dinosaurs You Need to Stop Believing

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