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Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.




Long time ago, lil five or six y/o gatekeeper woke up late one night and my dad had fallen asleep on the couch and left like showtime or something on and some Pam grier movie had just started and it was the first time I really remember noticing that the lady on tv was making my dingus tingle so I plopped down on the floor and kept watching and then suddenly she was naked and literally nothing was ever the same again


Also seconding the Fran drescher thing, if I have a type that's basically it. I've dated more annoying-voiced circus titted Jewesses than I can count and I regret none of them, even the one that had my mom break off our engagement for her when I decided I wasn't going to go to med school lmfao

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Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Hector Beerlioz posted:

That was a very odd film

I haven't seen it since I was really young, like eight or nine (but I remember it very well for some reason) but I just went to see if I could find it on the www (world wide Web) and that Axl Braun guy who does all those "________ XXX: a Axl Braun porn parody" has a Barbarella XXX: an Axl Braun porn parody and I'm confused because I thought Barbarella already was Barbarella XXX: a porn parody

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.



yessss I used to hack it to this part of the game even bought the Jap version since the scene was longer in that one

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


cuck cuck im gay posted:

It helps that her face is perfect.

But not fit can sometimes be hot. Look at Eve Lawrence or Gianna. They're sloppy as hell. Still hot.

lmao ive never heard of eve Lawrence so I googled and



haha yeah this woman looks like she's pretty fit

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


VendaGoat posted:

And now I can't unsee it.



lol I'm tryna picture her walkin around upright on those tiny lil legs an its amazin

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.



you don't know it, but you are full of stars

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Calico Heart posted:

you ever seen boxing helena?

limbless sherilyn fenn, my venus de lmao

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.




lol this movie was bad

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


i remember this cool show where harvey birdman was a satan who was also a sheriff and that lispy woman from American horror story was a ghost child who helped her white trash lil brother with school work and stuff, anyway his teacher at school was like the village whore or something and i def wanted to see her pussy and boobs



she was in hot shots part deux too, and the star trek with the gently caress planet where they decide to execute wesley for steppin on a plant

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


the left one, the... gently caress, she's got three names but it's not sally Jessie Raphael it's something else, the one who got super equine looking later on, married the Broderick, yes she was hot and make my pants feel constrictive when I was a lil fucker

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Buttcoin purse posted:

Are you saying Sarah Jessica Parker used to be hot?? I found a picture of her from that movie (Hocus Pocus) and was surprised to see cleavage. I'm not sure that her face looked all that different back then though.



I mean not HOT hot but yeah hot in the eyes of a lil dude like me and hotter than she is now lol

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.



i wish someone like hilldawg or Beyonce would come out publicly and say once and for all that leopard print tattoos are awful and bad and not sexy. Leopard print clothing can be fine sometimes but big splotchy rash-lookin tattoos are unattractive and just distract from otherwise great features like beautiful eyes and a great smile and a lovely physique and a big ol honkin dick

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Nation posted:

yea cos its a cartoon

goon consensus is its permissable for ppl to jerk off to japanimation

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.



I remember me and mom drivin to school and listening to Howard Stern with Marky mark as the guest right after this came out, and when Howard started giving him poo poo like "hey I hear you kiss a monkey in this movie" marky goes "nah bro she was actually pretty hot, she looks just like Janet Jackson" lmfao

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


i can't remember anything about that swamp thing tv show other than a girl with dope titties who made my lil 5 yo babbydick tingle and start to wake up and realise its future potential



glad i remembered this and googled her bc wow she's as hot as I remember and usually that's not how childhood recollections work

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.



aww isn't that the dead goonette murdered by her roommate who went all single white female, gettin the same dumb Mario bros tattoos as her and eatin her makeup while she was at work just chewing up her lipstickers and then finally she set fire to her pet hedgehog babies and stabbed her to death with craft scissors that give paper a cool funky edge pattern

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


yeah i thought elf pron got murdered ? it was like one of the early unfortunate forums "tragedies" where she kept postin threads about how creepy her roommate was and how she was coming home like "look I got the same tattoo as you!" and elf pron would go to put on her makeups and all her mascara was gnawed upon and caked with dried chalky lipstick/saliva blends, and she had a lil baby hedgehog shed post pics of and she came home from lifeguard duty (that was her job, wearin big baggy red trunks I assume) and the lil hedgehog was burnt to a small cinder and the roomie goes "aww wow i can't believe it" but she said it in a voice that said "I CAN believe it, I definitely CAN" and then finally elf prom she stopped postin and everyone was like "welp single white female huh?" then someone found a news article and she was indeed single white femaled with some scissors, roomie just single white femaled her in the chest/neck/lower face

Shame bc i alwYs wanted to see her in them red trunks, holding a Buoy

She was nice to me she told me my Lewis black "if it weren't for.my horse"-themed photoshop thread showed promise

Mr. 47 posted:

Heavy Metal, Boris Vallejo, and:



fina catch an animal abuse charge idgaf

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.





FuhrerHat posted:

the mandela effect and unrequited love combined

does no one else remember this? it was a fairly big deal, I think many ppl were sadder over the hedgehog tbh although that could have been ppl bein "edgy"

rest easy elf prOn, your battle is over, your war is won

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


yikes

she had a nice meaty midsection with ample spongy gripping areas

you wouldn't fall off, is what im saying

but now you can't grip her at all, because she's just a cloud of ghastlygas

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


i would like to buy her old fridge bc i assume it is the area chosen by her ghost as a haunting ground

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


id be eatin a turkey sammler and POOF shed appear like a bloated casper and my lunch would vanish spookily

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


NoneMoreNegative posted:

lol this reminds me of excellent french live-puppet movie Marquis

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cE95PkAKbbo#t=1952s

NWS duh

that's the full movie on utub there if you have the inclination...

drat this is good, like extremely

i know I've seen it before too. someone here has an av of the turd packer dude, and I always try to remember where I knew it from but couldnt place it. I think they showed it on the same cable access show that aired "salo, or 120 days of sodom" actually, puppetfaced dickery is like their bread & butter

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


TremorX posted:

And I'd go on to have a thing for curls for years.



alex kingston?

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


tactlessbastard posted:

My first nocturnal emission. Kinda makes me feel creepy, now.

Wow, still hot.



awww u made a lil mini alex mack morph in ur sheets lol

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


VendaGoat posted:

And we've entered into the Oedipal phase of the forums.

she's marty's mom not my mom, goofball

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


as long as we're going oedipal



this was the very first piece of mail addressed to me that I ever received, i was still a lil guy but my godmother figured i would appreciate it when i was older (problematic??) and i did, and still do, but it did kinda bother me for one reason - that's exactly how my mom looked in the 80s. i even remember having a discussion w/ my dad where she was on tv, I had to be like 4, maybe 5. my dad said something about how hot she is, i was like "yeah elvira is really pretty, but... um, don't you think she looks like mom" and he goes like "oh hell yeah" with that quagmire head bob then he looks at me and realizes im kinda weirded out and he just laughed like a jerk

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


syscall girl posted:

lol



a reawakening for everyone

so cool that the schnozzberries guy from super troopers was able to marry a lady like that :^)

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


speaking of Flo I wanna be inside progressive flo

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.




sometimes I like to paint my own versions of early jo material

I call her the venus de lmao

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.



fat, mannish, no arms, trailer park 6

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.




she looks like she wants to blow me just bc she's hungry and that's a turn on

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


whatever happened to carmen electro? she was a popular woman and then one day the world collectively went "meh" and now she's disappeared

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


NoNotTheMindProbe posted:

If you combine the blonde's tits with the brunette's hips you end up with the venus de milo

<3 the venus de lmao is my truest love

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Cruising Altitude posted:

stop posting gtfo go to ur room

I'll go to your mom's room you sniveling dingus

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


The Fuzzy Hulk posted:

There was this movie called Johnny Dangerously that had a girl in a fur coat, and when she opened it she was wearing a tiny diamond bikini.



When I saw that I knew it was time to become a man. I think I was about 11.

when my testicles became so engorged that I had to tote em around in a wheelbarrow I became a man

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.



problemah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-atic

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


syscall girl posted:

She was cool for not banging Jack McCoy.

And since no one watched L&O Criminal Intent



Julliane Nicholson is a babe and a good Watson to Vincent D'Onofrio's Sherlock.

isn't this the seaQuest kid who killed himself

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


Dirk Squarejaw posted:

I've been trying to decide if she's one of those barrel-chested women with breasts that appear to be bigger than they are or if it's just the pose.



sort of both I guess?

still would x ∞ tho

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Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.


meselfs posted:

Around 1999.



is it my imagination or is there a goatse in those clouds

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