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  • Locked thread
Cocksmith
Dec 28, 2012


VendaGoat posted:

What's with the extreme close up, under the guy's balls, as he pounds away on a chick?

Just two shorn testes slamming away, in ultra close up 4k resolution?

Who watches that?

a little something for the ladies

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SCROTO TURBOSPERG
Jan 21, 2007



Cocksmith posted:

a little something for the ladies

Ẓ̢̼̠̘̼̯̰̝͕̎́͋̈̽̈́̚̕͝͝ą̫̼̘̫͎̟̰̼͖͆̋̃̃̿̓͗͂̾͠l̡̫̩̩̳̳̯̻̥̮̀̾̈́̉̑͊̈́̊́͝g̖̤̙̮̙̙̼̬̩͌̾̾̃̉̐̈́̊̎͝ͅo̡̧͍͇͖̘̬̠̹̻͗̐͒̔̅̓͌̏̊͠ ̜̫̟͚̻̗͙̭̭͈͋͐́͒̀͛̒̀͑̓W̬̟̭̯̬̞͚̗͆̑͌̌̀̿͒̊̋̕͜ͅe̡̗̘̩͔̯͙̻̗̟̓̓͋͗͗̄̈́̅͠͝p̡̢̦̩̗̦̱̗̲͔̎̄͐̈̓̿̊̕͠͠ť̨̨̨̮͍̫̞͙̘͆͒͛̀̀̇͜͝͝͝

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012



VendaGoat posted:

What's with the extreme close up, under the guy's balls, as he pounds away on a chick?

Just two shorn testes slamming away, in ultra close up 4k resolution?

Who watches that?

it sounds weird but polls consistently report this is the favorite view by large margins, like 65% its crazy

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010


VendaGoat posted:

What's with the extreme close up, under the guy's balls, as he pounds away on a chick?

Just two shorn testes slamming away, in ultra close up 4k resolution?

Who watches that?

Maybe it's because you never get to see that angle in real life ? Maybe it's the anticipation and the promise that those balls represent

nigga crab pollock
Mar 26, 2010

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

its basically not porn if it doesnt show extreme close up views of phalluses going into orfices and bodily fluids squirting everywhere

nigga crab pollock
Mar 26, 2010

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

what do you people beat off to, pictures of women with their clothes on?


lol, what is this, salt lake city???

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010


nigga crab pollock posted:

what do you people beat off to, pictures of women with their clothes on?


lol, what is this, salt lake city???

Good enough for my ancestors, good enough for me !

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009



Blue Train posted:

it sounds weird but polls consistently report this is the favorite view by large margins, like 65% its crazy

This better be a joke

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

mike stoklasas cum


I love watching mens balls and buttholes as their balls and buttholes obscure most of the woman

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by Nyc_Tattoo


i wouldn't mind so much if male pornstars weren't like 90% fat schlubby schlubs covered in hair

Darth Freddy
Feb 6, 2007

An Emperor's slightest dislike is transmitted to those who serve him, and there it is amplified into rage.

If it isn't dominant Women forcing a slave to eat their poo poo and lick their poop chute clean it's not worth my time

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



Moridin920 posted:

i wouldn't mind so much if male pornstars weren't like 90% fat schlubby schlubs covered in hair
shrek lookin mother fuckers

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

The best avatar on Something Awful!


My main gripe is that I thought we were past the stupid idea of panning to the dude's face right before the money shot. I thought that was dead and gone, but lately I've been seeing it crop up again.

The last thing I want to see is some dude's O-face. In fact, just crop out the dude's face as much as possible.

Nigmaetcetera
Nov 17, 2004

Sorry guys, I'm just a donut.


I bet most porn directors are gay. I just have a gut feeling about it.

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I AM SO SICK OF EVERY SINGLE WOMAN ON THIS PLANET AND THEIR UNFAIR ROLES EXCEPT FOR AIDA CUEVAS, MY RANCHERA PRINCESS. WOMEN ARE YUCKY (EXCEPT FOR AIDA)!


WampaLord posted:

My main gripe is that I thought we were past the stupid idea of panning to the dude's face right before the money shot. I thought that was dead and gone, but lately I've been seeing it crop up again.

The last thing I want to see is some dude's O-face. In fact, just crop out the dude's face as much as possible.

This thread is useless without pics

je1 healthcare
Sep 29, 2015


Decebal posted:

How did people live when you had to put in some effort to see a woman naked Probably way more sexual misconduct back then.

Maybe porn's actually helping society after all

Ancient Roman Graffiti posted:

I.2.20 (Bar/Brothel of Innulus and Papilio); 3932: Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!

I.2.23 (peristyle of the Tavern of Verecundus); 3951: Restitutus says: “Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates”.

I.4.5 (House of the Citharist; below a drawing of a man with a large nose); 2375: Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this.

III.5.1 (House of Pascius Hermes; left of the door); 7716: To the one defecating here. Beware of the curse. If you look down on this curse, may you have an angry Jupiter for an enemy.

III.5.3 (on the wall in the street); 8898: Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog

http://www.pompeiana.org/Resources/...m%20Pompeii.htm

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

the nasty little dude
in the tight board shorts

Decebal posted:

Good enough for my ancestors, good enough for me !



i jacked it to the venus willendorf as part of my presentation for a western art class. got a C (for cum).

Laurenz
Dec 21, 2015


We've reached the era where porn has been so widely accessible for so long that people can no longer get off to vanilla stuff and resort to all types of weird crap.

Either that or humanity is just becoming more degenerate...

Oh I miss the days of finding porn mags in the woods....

WampaLord
Jan 14, 2010

The best avatar on Something Awful!


Laurenz posted:

We've reached the era where porn has been so widely accessible for so long that people can no longer get off to vanilla stuff and resort to all types of weird crap.

People say this, but I still just watch normal porn and haven't "escalated" to weird stuff and I've been watching porn for like 17 years at this point.

I don't even care for anal porn.

Mammal Sauce
Apr 26, 2004

My Mammal Sauce is the best Mammal Sauce
I spread Mammal Sauce on my wang
We make Mammal Sauce in Bill William's loft
And we eat a bucket of Tang

OctoberBlues posted:

This better be a joke

If that quote of 65%was for "not mom/daughter" Porn, I'd believe it, but not 65% for extreme testicle closeups.

numberoneposter
Feb 19, 2014



WampaLord posted:

People say this, but I still just watch normal porn and haven't "escalated" to weird stuff and I've been watching porn for like 17 years at this point.
when did girls start growing dicks? seems like it happened pretty gradually now they all have dicks

Burt Sexual
Jan 26, 2006

I AM SO SICK OF EVERY SINGLE WOMAN ON THIS PLANET AND THEIR UNFAIR ROLES EXCEPT FOR AIDA CUEVAS, MY RANCHERA PRINCESS. WOMEN ARE YUCKY (EXCEPT FOR AIDA)!


Laurenz posted:

We've reached the era where porn has been so widely accessible for so long that people can no longer get off to vanilla stuff and resort to all types of weird crap.

Either that or humanity is just becoming more degenerate...

Oh I miss the days of finding porn mags in the woods....

Tell us about you r weirdo porn

Principals Orifice
Aug 23, 2016

by Lowtax


VR porn is pretty cool it's like sexy ladies really want to touch me and you can get an android headset for easily 20 bucks now, plus there's tons of it free on the internet!

Wamdoodle
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Grimey Drawer


Holy poo poo, it's proto GBS

Zzulu
May 15, 2009

mike stoklasas cum


http://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m...cu14xo1_500.gif

Strategic Tea
Sep 1, 2012

Those are my runes.
Give them back.
You are a dog.
They don't even fit.


I think it must be that they peg their audience at self loathing losers, so everything has to be weird cuck poo poo or have some bizarre money/interview/sibling plot explaining how even this UGLY LOSER LIKE YOU can make a sex

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

Whatever poison's in this bottle
Will leave me broken sore and stiff
But it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at
He owes me one last wish


Wamdoodle posted:

Holy poo poo, it's proto GBS

Even better, Roman public toilets were just open air shitters lined up next to one another where people from all walks of life and both genders took huge dumps while chatting, making dumb jokes or continuing graffiti flame wars. Ye olde shitteposte.

Wamdoodle
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Grimey Drawer

Pvt.Scott posted:

Even better, Roman public toilets were just open air shitters lined up next to one another where people from all walks of life and both genders took huge dumps while chatting, making dumb jokes or continuing graffiti flame wars. Ye olde shitteposte.

I get to use the poo poo sponge first!

http://www.wondersandmarvels.com/20...ilet-paper.html

bag em and tag em
Nov 4, 2008


Can we get the word filter for I'm gay changed to the "weep ye girl's" quote because drat.

LegoPirateNinja
Nov 15, 2003
It's like a custom title but not

Decebal posted:

Good enough for my ancestors, good enough for me !



how do we know those arent talismans to ward off fat chicks?

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010


LegoPirateNinja posted:

how do we know those arent talismans to ward off fat chicks?

Maybe a supranormal stimulus for sex starved neolithics ?

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

Whatever poison's in this bottle
Will leave me broken sore and stiff
But it's the genie at the bottom who I'm sucking at
He owes me one last wish


The better theory on most of those Venus idols is that they were self-portraits done by pregnant women with time on their hands and no reflective surfaces. If you look at them from the top down, they're a pretty dead on view of what a pregnant chick in a cave would see. This also explains the general lack of head and face detail and the tapering legs, etc.

Laurenz
Dec 21, 2015


Darth123123 posted:

Tell us about you r weirdo porn

its exactly like normal porn except made for weirdos

Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013

In paradise, your teeth will grow back. I promise!
In paradise, I'll hide my laughter. I promise!


dad gay. so what posted:

they should make a porn with bigfoot and the loch ness monster

Finally, a goon project that's got legs! Someone else, make the website!

SCROTO TURBOSPERG
Jan 21, 2007



Moridin920 posted:

i wouldn't mind so much if male pornstars weren't like 90% fat schlubby schlubs covered in hair

there's a genre of porn that caters to this specific request that i think you'll absolutely love

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 4085 days!


Shredded Hen

Blue Train posted:

white people, op

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.


Pvt.Scott posted:

The better theory on most of those Venus idols is that they were self-portraits done by pregnant women with time on their hands and no reflective surfaces. If you look at them from the top down, they're a pretty dead on view of what a pregnant chick in a cave would see. This also explains the general lack of head and face detail and the tapering legs, etc.
Still doesn't explain the apparently silicon based life in Switzerland.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009



hth posted:

there's a genre of porn that caters to this specific request that i think you'll absolutely love

what an av!

Megaspel
Mar 12, 2007
I CAN'T HELP BUT DERAIL THREADS WITH MY VERY PRESENCE

I ALSO HAVE A CLOUD OF DEDICATED IDIOTS FOLLOWING ME SHITTING UP EVERY THREAD I POST IN

IGNORE ME AND ANY DINOSAUR THAT FIGHTS WITH ME BECAUSE WE JUST CAN'T SHUT UP


Moon Atari posted:

i aim to have the most empty quoted avatar of all time.

Your welcome to it.

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The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.




Moon Atari posted:

i aim to have the most empty quoted avatar of all time.

I've empty quoted it before.

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