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  • Locked thread
a whole buncha crows
May 8, 2003

WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)


8 track betamax posted:

here is an idea: stop watching this disgusting filth you animals

I never knew we would agree on anything!!

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Al Cowens
Aug 11, 2004

by WE B Bourgeois


I don't actually watch much porn if you can believe that so I really don't get this thread.

thathonkey
Jul 17, 2012
Probation
Can't post for 3963 days!


Shredded Hen

8 track betamax posted:

here is an idea: stop watching this disgusting filth you animals

can i keep my bang bros acct at least ???

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Replace all incest porn with college tutor porn. The upside is that you watch it enough times you will learn how to write linear algebra proofs, or porn that acts out Cliffnotes versions of required reading for classes.

Actually, I take the latter back. That sounds more like an anime series built around people studying literature and history by making erotic productions of it.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013


Problem with this trend for me is I'm getting more and more bored because what I've been missing isn't more close-ups of penetration, extreme gagging, incest poo poo or cvcking. My true desire is watching an actual porn movie - that is, a movie with an actual story, decent-good acting, and copious amounts of loving. If there's no reason for what's going on to be going on, I start to lose interest no matter how hardcore the action is. I've browsed Mr. Skin to find movies with explicit scenes, but they often only have one or two fairly short sequences and I end up having to watch two hours of pretentious sub-par French cinema just to get my rocks off.

Obviously this "fetish" is very hard to accomodate because serious actors usually aren't interested in hardcore loving scenes, and porn actors usually aren't very good at real acting. I have tried simply reading erotic novels and watching porn simultaneously to try and create some semblance of what I'm looking for, but obviously this almost invariably turns out to be a clusterfuck (lol).

quote:

Defecator, may everything turn out okay so that you can leave this place
That's a sweet, understanding homeowner.

KomodoWagon fucked around with this message at Aug 30, 2016 around 07:35

Meredith Baxter-Burnout
Jul 4, 2003

Let the KIDS!!! eat what they want!..LOL..Come on out to Doobie's!


I was just talking to a friend about how ridiculous porta-potty gloryhole porn is.

Who the gently caress is getting off on that, specifically?

Meredith Baxter-Burnout
Jul 4, 2003

Let the KIDS!!! eat what they want!..LOL..Come on out to Doobie's!


Also, why the gently caress can't porn just be like "here's a hot cougar getting banged" or "here's a cute girl in her early 20s getting banged"? It's gotta be some weird incest poo poo.

I like cougars and I like cute, young girls. I just don't like to pretend that they're my family members.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

I've not had cable long enough to notice, but is Skinemax still a thing or are they just normal fare now?

The White Dragon
Nov 14, 2007

a dragon that is
uh

JediTalentAgent posted:

Actually, I take the latter back. That sounds more like an anime series built around people studying literature and history by making erotic productions of it.

i bought some college professor's erotic interpretation of plato that was apparently required reading for some goon's philosophy class and brother let me tell you it was not pretty

Saint Isaias Boner
Jan 17, 2007



Plaster Town Cop

FIRST TIME posted:

I was just talking to a friend about how ridiculous porta-potty gloryhole porn is.

Who the gently caress is getting off on that, specifically?

randy construction workers

Zorodius
Feb 11, 2007

EA GAMES' MASTERPIECE 'MADDEN 2018 G.O.A.T. EDITION' IS A GLORIOUS TRIUMPH OF ART AND TECHNOLOGY. IT BRINGS GAMEDAY RIGHT TO THE PLAYER AND WHOEVER SAYS OTHERWISE CAN, YOU GUESSED IT...
SUCK THE SHIT STRAIGHT OUT OF MY OWN ASSHOLE.

BUY IT.


can we predict the next big thing in porn?

I say it's candid drone videos of people loving in their bedrooms

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

Zorodius posted:

can we predict the next big thing in porn?

I say it's candid drone videos of people loving in their bedrooms

Interactive porn as a recognized therapy service.

A performer will interact with you via TV, Tablet or monitor on a 1:1 basis and will bill your insurance company, or you can go private pay if you need/want. Best of all, it's all private thanks to HIPAA.

Jim Barris
Aug 13, 2009

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


That's not what the porn sites are like for me, for me it seems like the porno sites are nothing but 'Older woman teaches teen how to suck/take a dick' and videos about big asses.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013


JediTalentAgent posted:

Interactive porn as a recognized therapy service.

A performer will interact with you via TV, Tablet or monitor on a 1:1 basis and will bill your insurance company, or you can go private pay if you need/want. Best of all, it's all private thanks to HIPAA.

Medicaid-sponsored camwhores for all.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

Grimey Drawer

Never understood why some guys get so hot and bothered by muff. It's funny looking hair that covers the actual things you would want.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!

KomodoWagon posted:

Medicaid-sponsored camwhores for all.

Then you have to go to whatever provider is taking new clients. You end up getting stuck with a person who has a keen insight into your emotional, social and sexual problems, but they can't role play for poo poo.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

Grimey Drawer

Also more fitness babes, women who work out but aren't a juicing monstrosity .

Maybe women who work out and get toned bodies all look down on doing porn, I guess? I hear most fit women are usually rich people, so fast money may not be an incentive.

generative grammer
Jul 28, 2010

by FactsAreUseless


Zorodius posted:

which is supposed to be the appeal of incest porn?:

A) "S/he is violating a sexy taboo by loving his/her sister"

-or-

B) "I want to gently caress my sister, and this helps me fantasize about that"

C) "I don't actually have a sister but drat if I had one we would totally be doing it"

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010


ikanreed posted:

Where? How?

x-art or some poo poo like that. No gagging , name calling or degrading rough stuff. Cute chicks too

Laurenz
Dec 21, 2015


generative grammer posted:

C) "I don't actually have a sister but drat if I had one we would totally be doing it"

That's what everyone who doesn't have a sister thinks.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009



VendaGoat posted:

I'm glad to see you have become accepting of the "status quo"

There's no point in fighting it anymore Venda, even the fake Toilet Shoes down there could tell you that.

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.





:spudsy:

Alec Bald Snatch
Sep 12, 2012

by exmarx


JediTalentAgent posted:

I've not had cable long enough to notice, but is Skinemax still a thing or are they just normal fare now?

yeah they still got nudie films, but they're mostly just regular porn recut so there's no penetration shots

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009




Maybe if it was $10 instead of galldang $30 I would make the :spudsy: dream come true. I know JiveHonky would like it.

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

Grimey Drawer

I love when the guy is so overcome with lust, his speech is like a high, whiney breathy sound and he's just saying a lot of stupid poo poo in random sentences.

And the chick is all on camera.

The Bananana
May 21, 2008

This is a metaphor, a Christian allegory. The fact that I have to explain to you that Jesus is the Warthog, and the Banana is drepanocytosis is just embarrassing for you.




Wicker Man posted:

I love when the guy is so overcome with lust, his speech is like a high, whiney breathy sound and he's just saying a lot of stupid poo poo in random sentences.

And the chick is all on camera.

gAY

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

Grimey Drawer


http://imgur.com/izpEZVg

Wamdoodle
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Grimey Drawer

OctoberBlues posted:

Maybe if it was $10 instead of galldang $30 I would make the :spudsy: dream come true. I know JiveHonky would like it.



Wtf man. How the hell else are we gonna keep the lights on just a bit longer if you don't open your wallet?

Decebal
Jan 6, 2010


Porn's here to stay I think.

ultrabindu
Jan 28, 2009


William F Cuckley posted:

yeah they still got nudie films, but they're mostly just regular porn recut so there's no penetration shots

That's loving lame.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003



Lucky Guy posted:

I want to make a porno where the guys are completely cropped out with green screening except for their dongs. just a chick and 7 floating disembodied boners, probably in outer space


i swear I saw something like this, it was called "the man who wasn't there" I think and it was this cleverly poo poo/cropped thing where you'd only ever see the dilz, never the man attached, and times when you absolutely should have been able to see some part of the man there was nuttin' at all, just a meg foster lookin broad enjoying a disembodied dilz

Six more floaterdicks would have been way cooler too, and space. I like that super white airy clean n' fresh lookin sets they all use now but space would be muuuuhch cooler

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003



The Dennis System posted:

Also, incest porn has been around for a long time. I remember that guy on Love Line talking about an incest porn called Taboo 2 like 20 years ago.

Cocksmith posted:

NOT his sister

lmao that theme song

https://youtu.be/z_9peBUo8VM

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012



OctoberBlues posted:

Maybe if it was $10 instead of galldang $30 I would make the :spudsy: dream come true. I know JiveHonky would like it.


stop trying to make spud happen, it's not going to happen

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009



Gaunab posted:

stop trying to make spud happen, it's not going to happen

But it's already happened... in my heart.

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003



drat taboo 2 is like forty five years old jfc it shall soon pass into myth and legend

Now we just get lovely pov "teachin my (step)sister how to give beejs" things and not fuckin incest art like taboo 2

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003



"mom is feeling distant from dad so her masseuse brings mom to an orgy so mom decides to bang her son who decides to bang his sister who decides to bang her dad who decides he loves mom again and family is saved also Ron Jeremy is there" is something that could never happen on this lovely internet today

KakerMix
Apr 8, 2004



Fun Shoe

Gatekeeper posted:

drat taboo 2 is like forty five years old jfc it shall soon pass into myth and legend

Now we just get lovely pov "teachin my (step)sister how to give beejs" things and not fuckin incest art like taboo 2

*bass slap*

Gatekeeper
Aug 3, 2003



Taboo 2 is problematic af now that I think about it

ikanreed
Sep 25, 2009

Rise and shine, master leprechaun.


Decebal posted:

x-art or some poo poo like that. No gagging , name calling or degrading rough stuff. Cute chicks too

Sweet. So tired of degradation.

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Decrepus
May 21, 2008

In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.

I like looking at buttholes.

e: not gay

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