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Nigmaetcetera posted:What are they gonna loving do, audit you? The agent shows up to your condo and then suddenly finds themselves in the middle of a cornfield miles away. Repeat as necessary. Uh, yeah? You can escape endlessly but at some point presumably you'd want to live somewhere and spend your money without worrying about it. How are you gonna buy big ticket items like cars and things? How would you take your stuff with you? gary oldmans diary posted:first warning will be them offering to give you a casino card so you can get "points" for every dollar you gamble (they just need your ID) why would they do this for a poker tournament? besides obv you wouldn't 'win endlessly' you'd play as normal and every once in a while win big to skew the odds in your favor. I'm not retarded I wouldn't sit there winning every hand like a moron. Like the kid who steals the test answers then gets 100% on the fuckin' thing lol. FlimFlam Imam posted:Are you guys actually arguing the details of stopping time on a casino floor as if somebody is actually going to do this in the real world? not a lot of other threads this AM
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Aug 30, 2016 18:18
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I'd freeze it and then never unfreeze it, wiping out the entire universe in one go
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Aug 30, 2016 18:19
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OctoberBlues posted:Yes, it seems so, but I for one find it entertaining to speculate and to read other's speculation. Just checkin'. Actually, if this type of thread doesn't get derailed by something silly then there's something wrong and I'd begin to worry.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:19
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FlimFlam Imam posted:Are you guys actually arguing the details of stopping time on a casino floor as if somebody is actually going to do this in the real world? y-yeah!! nobody does this in the real world ever it's not possible!!! phew
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Aug 30, 2016 18:19
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i would pull down peoples pants and tie shoelaces together mainly targeting cops
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Aug 30, 2016 18:21
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And even if it isn't the easiest thing to do, I would definitely go to Vegas and bet like $50K on some +1000 underdog and then go screw with the game in person to make the underdog win. Maybe I would lose a $10K and $20K bet on them in previous weeks so it isn't so suspicious? I dunno, I would collect my money right away though and if for some reason they did do an investigation on why the favorite team fumbled and dropped so many passes, they wouldn't find anything.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:23
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I would immediately go blind and deaf and choke to death.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:23
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OctoberBlues posted:And even if it isn't the easiest thing to do, I would definitely go to Vegas and bet like $50K on some +1000 underdog and then go screw with the game in person to make the underdog win. Maybe I would lose a $10K and $20K bet on them in previous weeks so it isn't so suspicious? I dunno, I would collect my money right away though and if for some reason they did do an investigation on why the favorite team fumbled and dropped so many passes, they wouldn't find anything. I don't think you'd need the previous losing bets. Sometimes the odds are not in the house's favor, they know they'll lose sometimes. That's why they set the odds as they do, so that over time the outliers like that are made up for. If you're in there on the regular then yeah they'll notice but just winning 1 big bet isn't going to result in the mafia at your door.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:25
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Mariana Horchata posted:Out of This World was a really good tv show Not really, just memorable.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:26
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Moridin920 posted:I don't think you'd need the previous losing bets. Sometimes the odds are not in the house's favor, they know they'll lose sometimes. That's why they set the odds as they do, so that over time the outliers like that are made up for. How many until that happens?
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Aug 30, 2016 18:26
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OctoberBlues posted:And even if it isn't the easiest thing to do, I would definitely go to Vegas and bet like $50K on some +1000 underdog and then go screw with the game in person to make the underdog win. OctoberBlues: 
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Aug 30, 2016 18:27
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I don't think I would gently caress with horse races, too much risk of a horse breaking its leg and having to be shot in the noggin.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:29
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But to be clear, I would still jerk off horses.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:29
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i would shuffle the runes
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Aug 30, 2016 18:30
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OctoberBlues posted:I don't think I would gently caress with horse races, too much risk of a horse breaking its leg and having to be shot in the noggin. OctoberBlues posted:But to be clear, I would still jerk off horses.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:30
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I'd pee on my family's dinner so they don't get turned into vegetables and get eaten by goblins.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:31
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You don't make money gambling, you make money betting because you can influence the outcomes. Bet on football and right before the extra point, you freeze and walk out onto the field and let air out of the ball. Bet on Hillary winning the debate and freeze at some point while Trump is behind the podium, unzip and pull his dick out of his pants (wear gloves for this). Reverse bet on Apple stock, and during the unveiling next week you set meatspin as the lock screen of the new phone for Tim to unveil to the world. Your ability to profit has nothing to do with stopping time, it has everything to do with affecting probability.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:33
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935 posted:You don't make money gambling, you make money betting because you can influence the outcomes. Bet on football and right before the extra point, you freeze and walk out onto the field and let air out of the ball. Bet on Hillary winning the debate and freeze at some point while Trump is behind the podium, unzip and pull his dick out of his pants (wear gloves for this). Reverse bet on Apple stock, and during the unveiling next week you set meatspin as the lock screen of the new phone for Tim to unveil to the world. 
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Aug 30, 2016 18:35
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935 posted:Reverse bet on Apple stock, and during the unveiling next week you set meatspin as the lock screen of the new phone for Tim to unveil to the world.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:37
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935 posted:You don't make money gambling, you make money betting because you can influence the outcomes. Bet on football and right before the extra point, you freeze and walk out onto the field and let air out of the ball. Bet on Hillary winning the debate and freeze at some point while Trump is behind the podium, unzip and pull his dick out of his pants (wear gloves for this). Reverse bet on Apple stock, and during the unveiling next week you set meatspin as the lock screen of the new phone for Tim to unveil to the world. The stock price thing definitely seems like it could work. I don't think the politics thing would really work because I don't think you'd be able to make enough legal money for all that effort to be worth it.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:42
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I would go to a Trump rally. Right in the middle, when he's got everyone worked up chanting whatever and he's frothing at the mouth, I would freeze time. I'd go to a zoo and get an orangutan, set him up at the podium. Drag The Donald off in a boat out to the middle of the ocean, have him bobbing there in the water and restart time. Now, it would be a hard decision to choose where I would want to be when I restart time, the rally or watching a flummoxed, flailing Donald.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:43
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Why bother getting loads of money? Get just enough to cover bills, then take literally everything else you want right out of the store. No inexplicable cash reserves to worry about. Also, gamble but don't be a drat retard. Lose often enough to avoid suspicion but keep a positive cashflow.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:49
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RedMage129 posted:Why bother getting loads of money? Get just enough to cover bills, then take literally everything else you want right out of the store. No inexplicable cash reserves to worry about. Also, gamble but don't be a drat retard. Lose often enough to avoid suspicion but keep a positive cashflow. Because I want a giant house goddammit.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:50
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Moridin920 posted:Uh, yeah? Don't buy big ticket items with your superpower gains, that is not the path to happiness, you cannot take it with you
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Aug 30, 2016 18:54
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RedMage129 posted:Why bother getting loads of money? thats what bribery and deceit is for
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Aug 30, 2016 18:55
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Well then use your power to gain fame in the entertainment world, you can get paid well for awhile until your star fades, even after you can do stage shows to wow rubes in vegas. Then your money has a legitimate source.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:59
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stop trying to push me on the path to becoming a magician, DAD
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Aug 30, 2016 19:04
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FlimFlam Imam posted:Are you guys actually arguing the details of stopping time on a casino floor as if somebody is actually going to do this in the real world? well captain buzzkill, half the fun of the thread is trying to figure out the mechanics of Criscodisco's plan to jerk people off to the point of completion and then unfreeze time to pick up dudes when they inexplicably orgasm just from looking at him.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:05
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you could just go to where they draw the power balls out of the machine and push in numbers you picked earlier that day.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:07
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I changed my mind, I would use my powers to convince people of my divinity, and become twice as popular as Jesus and Mohammed combined. I would then wield ultimate political and religious authority and turn the world into a Nigmacratic theocracy. I'd have a secret inner circle of scientist-advisors who were smarter than me who could come up with good uses for my powers as well. Yep, things would be pretty sweet on Nigma, formerly known as Earth.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:10
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I feel like it'd be dangerous to let people know what's up or become really famous like that You can't stop a threat if you don't know it is coming and I'm p sure a sniper from 2 miles away will be able to kill you before you realize what is happening quick enough. and even if you can stop time that won't help you if they can manage to sedate you and stick you in a cage. you still have to eat/drink. stop time all you want you won't get out.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:11
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Return Of JimmyJars posted:you could just go to where they draw the power balls out of the machine and push in numbers you picked earlier that day. That seems like it would be super hard? The machine is closed and the whole thing is filmed, right?
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Aug 30, 2016 19:12
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You can just play craps or roulette and right before the dice/ball stops moving you freeze time and give it a little nudge to get it to go where you want. The casino isn't gonna be surprised when the roulette wheel comes up red 4 times in a row and in the meantime you just turned your 20k into 320k or whatever
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Aug 30, 2016 19:19
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turbomoose posted:You can just play craps or roulette and right before the dice/ball stops moving you freeze time and give it a little nudge to get it to go where you want. The casino isn't gonna be surprised when the roulette wheel comes up red 4 times in a row and in the meantime you just turned your 20k into 320k or whatever
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Aug 30, 2016 19:21
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I'd post on GBS
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Aug 30, 2016 19:22
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what would happen if you died while you froze time it'd be frozen time for eternity
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Aug 30, 2016 19:23
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsKbwR7WXN4
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Aug 30, 2016 19:25
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Hi Venda, we are not turning back time itt, we are only freezing it.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:26
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OctoberBlues posted:Hi Venda, we are not turning back time itt, we are only freezing it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dO1rMeYnOmM
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Aug 30, 2016 19:28
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I'd steal a nickle from every person who answers this question by saying they would commit some form of sexual assault. I'd be a very sad, but very rich man.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:29
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