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KiteAuraan
Aug 5, 2014

JER GEDDA FERDA RADDA ARA!


Volcott posted:

Kill Joseph Joestar.

Defeat Dio Brando.

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Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

CJacobs posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4LIcOFvWqjk

smh if you wouldn't become a superhero

sure you could do that but there's no way you'll earn what you'd be worth doing that or defend yourself from the media for not being able to stop time everywhere at once and collect little timmy's dog from a fire or whatever along with the 200 people you helped avoid drowning in a freak flood 2 miles away. they'll call you a puppy baker and your protests about not being literally god and having to prioritize will fall on deaf ears

petty theft -> a bit of gambling -> rigged short selling at least will let you hire the army of lawyers and PR flacks you'll need for that line of work to not have people get up your rear end in a top hat all the time for stupid poo poo like that

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
That's why you remain anonymous, do the hero stuff while time is frozen and then unfreeze time somewhere far away and watch the results of your heroing on the news. Does it have to be all about the recognition man?

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

any of these time freezy power things necessarily come with infinite free energy. no matter which way its supposed to go down, if you can grab a bullet out of midair, you can generate enough power to create enough kugelblitzen to slingshot humanity into a type 3 civilisation and explore the stars forever as lord of the galaxy

but i guess being a perv is cool too?

criscodisco
Feb 18, 2004

do it
Sure but slingshotting humanity into a post-scarcity society takes a lot of effort whereas I'll usually jump at the chance to be a perv.

Ignatius M. Meen
May 26, 2011

Hello yes I heard there was a lovely trainwreck here and...

chaosbreather posted:

any of these time freezy power things necessarily come with infinite free energy. no matter which way its supposed to go down, if you can grab a bullet out of midair, you can generate enough power to create enough kugelblitzen to slingshot humanity into a type 3 civilisation and explore the stars forever as lord of the galaxy

but i guess being a perv is cool too?

this is actually a really loving good point and slingshotting humanity's tech development through free energy would be much more profitable and ultimately good than anything else you could do with the power. maybe not the most fun but i'll sign up for that as a day job anyway

praxis
Aug 1, 2003

Nigmaetcetera posted:

Rob banks, kill people I don't like,

This is pretty much it. Do banks even keep that much cash around anymore? Maybe rob a casino? Wherever there are millions in cash. Then start knocking people off on my list. Or spend a few years setting every alarm clock in America to go off at the same time.

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011
Visit my childhood sweetheart and cuddle with her, then freeze time

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008

I would inform the US govt of my powers and be a key player in international espionage.

Elusif
Jun 9, 2008

Actually more to the point. Corporate espionage would make you rich beyond your wildest dreams...

Nic Cage dick cage
Jun 23, 2009

Lipstick Apathy
Punch people in their stupid face.

chaosbreather
Dec 9, 2001

Wry and wise,
but also very sexual.

yeah haha tell anyone that's a good plan

any plan that isn't 'keep it a loving secret and only use it in massively ambiguous situations' or 'take over everything' is loving dreaming. you would represent a unprecedented existential threat to the planet and just because you can stop time doesn't mean you can taste the polonium in your cereal

steinrokkan
Apr 2, 2011



Soiled Meat

Ignatius M. Meen posted:

this is actually a really loving good point and slingshotting humanity's tech development through free energy would be much more profitable and ultimately good than anything else you could do with the power. maybe not the most fun but i'll sign up for that as a day job anyway

it's not free, you can still only affect things by releasing energy stored in your muscles, and you need to replenish it. in that bullet scenario you actually suck energy out of existence by stopping the bullet without any consequences.

so id just steal sandwiches or something

I.N.R.I
May 26, 2011

chaosbreather posted:

yeah haha tell anyone that's a good plan

any plan that isn't 'keep it a loving secret and only use it in massively ambiguous situations' or 'take over everything' is loving dreaming. you would represent a unprecedented existential threat to the planet and just because you can stop time doesn't mean you can taste the polonium in your cereal

U need a hug from your mommy dude.

Haier
Aug 10, 2007

by Lowtax
To be completely honest, there's a lot of dishonest business people where I live (in Asia) and I would just take everything out of their wallets when I'd see one of these guys on the street. They always have wallets full of bills, like huge stacks, and it would be really easy to live good here while robbing a few them of their nightly club/prostitute money.

That's really all I would do, besides probably trip people in the street or smash some headlights on the cars of assholes who drive like poo poo.

pod6isjerks
Feb 17, 2005

Nap Ghost
Isn't bank money usually rigged with exploding ink packs? I'm not sure robbing armored trucks would be so easy. Also I bet they have a few tracer bills mixed in.

Farg
Nov 19, 2013
How many banks can I rob in the stopped time

y troll
Aug 31, 2016

by Lowtax
if i culd freeze time i'd penis man but because i cant freeze time im gonna penis man anyway okay

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?

pod6isjerks posted:

Isn't bank money usually rigged with exploding ink packs? I'm not sure robbing armored trucks would be so easy. Also I bet they have a few tracer bills mixed in.

Move the money before the dye pack explodes in non time

bird with big dick
Oct 21, 2015

1. Go to a world class diamond mine.
2. Spend a few days or weeks or whatever plucking 20 million dollars in diamonds off the conveyer belt.
3. Go to that dumb park in Arkansas and "find" them.

pod6isjerks
Feb 17, 2005

Nap Ghost

Shoehead posted:

Move the money before the dye pack explodes in non time

Yeah but we've established that things directly interacted with in the time freeze can still operate (e.g. cars) so it makes since that something triggered by your actions would still happen. If you press the gas pedal the car accelerates and if you open the bag the trap is sprung, no? I don't think it's time inception where you can freeze time within frozen time.

Shoehead
Sep 28, 2005

Wassup, Choom?
Ya need sumthin'?
Have you ever seen high speed footage of a water balloon bursting? I imagine the ink kind of hanging there like that while you try not to touch it.

I also forget how they rig money with that though.. maybe you'd be better off opening some cash registers instead.

A Strange Aeon
Mar 26, 2010

You are now a slimy little toad
The Great Twist

Moridin920 posted:

id definitely abuse my powers to get rich af and then probably try to fix the world and become a lunatic wearing a spike suit and calling my self The Shrike

I just finished the second Hyperion--should I move on to the Endymion books?

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

pod6isjerks posted:

Yeah but we've established that things directly interacted with in the time freeze can still operate (e.g. cars) so it makes since that something triggered by your actions would still happen. If you press the gas pedal the car accelerates and if you open the bag the trap is sprung, no? I don't think it's time inception where you can freeze time within frozen time.

You are correct, this is how I envisioned it when I asked.

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!

Shoehead posted:

Have you ever seen high speed footage of a water balloon bursting? I imagine the ink kind of hanging there like that while you try not to touch it.

I also forget how they rig money with that though.. maybe you'd be better off opening some cash registers instead.

Well, that's the problem, the dye is inside the pack of money. So you touch the money while time is frozen, the money is touching the trap, the trap is touching the dye pack, which is touching the dye. So as soon as you interact with the money, the trap will unfreeze and go off. Any dye not touching anything after the pack goes off won't move, but that's like teeny tiny particles inbetween the layers of bills, so good luck not touching them.Cracking cash registers is probably a better option.

JediTalentAgent
Jun 5, 2005
Hey, look. Look, if- if you screw me on this, I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine, you rat bastard!
This sounds like its getting into anime fight territory.

Our villain freezes time to walk into a building to kill our heroes. Gleefully abusing grunts on the way, he walks into the room where our Hero holds a piece of paper in his hand as the villain approaches them for the kill. However, the closer and closer they get, they start hacking blood and shaking. Reaching for the hero, they fall and end up grabbing the paper from the time-frozen hero. the villain reads it:

"Kurosake, I studied your power and saw a weakness. You need to move to make use of your power, you need to breath. We took huge amounts of atropine to prepare for this fight as a precaution and have been flooding every sealed section of the the building an alternating parts of an ionized binary nerve gas agent with an extremely short half life.

We'll be safe, but you won't be.

You've been walking and breathing it in, you carried the one part of the component on your clothes, in your lungs and with your movements. When you broke through the seals between areas, you mixed them. For you, you've had all the time in the world to be exposing yourself to it, while we'll only be exposed to minor traces for a few seconds before we enter the code to flush the atmosphere.

In conclusion, you've lost, Kurosake...


Scene cuts to a dead body on the floor in front of our hero.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
So if i froze time and killed myself would that stop all of time in the universe for eternity? That'd be a nice way to go out IMO

CJacobs
Apr 17, 2011

Reach for the moon!
Personally I'm still waiting for that guy who always comes in and ruins the discussion with "but aren't you touching the ground which is touching everything??????"

please nobody be that guy

Blurry Gray Thing
Jun 3, 2009
You can't just tell people you have time powers. You have to claim something else then use your time powers to fake it.

Me, I'd become the world's greatest stage magician.

Well. Maybe not the greatest. Some of those guys are pretty dang good, and I think really professional stage magic might beat real magic when it comes to wowing people. But I'd definitely be somewhere up there.

Novo
May 13, 2003

Stercorem pro cerebro habes
Soiled Meat
i'd beat ken jennings at jeopardy

e: assuming the internet still works while time is frozen

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

Blurry Gray Thing posted:

You can't just tell people you have time powers. You have to claim something else then use your time powers to fake it.

Me, I'd become the world's greatest stage magician.

Well. Maybe not the greatest. Some of those guys are pretty dang good, and I think really professional stage magic might beat real magic when it comes to wowing people. But I'd definitely be somewhere up there.

It's like that movie

gary oldmans diary
Sep 26, 2005

pod6isjerks posted:

Yeah but we've established that things directly interacted with in the time freeze can still operate (e.g. cars)
no. if by "we've established" you mean "you misunderstood". other people are on the "fly somewhere then freeze time" plan
but if you want you can interact with a gas pedal in a car with the engine off right now and see what happens
the gas pedal is acted upon and yet the car doesnt move forward how mysterious

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

OctoberBlues posted:

You are correct, this is how I envisioned it when I asked.

:grin:

As previously stated, I would fart and poo poo in your mouth, for the entirety of my life.

:grin:

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

VendaGoat posted:

:grin:

As previously stated, I would fart and poo poo in your mouth, for the entirety of my life.

:grin:

It's like that one poster stated with the cum shots, but with poo poo....

You know what?

poo poo and cum shots, for an entire human lifetime.

:grin:

Sunset
Aug 15, 2005



Moridin920 posted:

what if you froze time and then looked around and there were tons of demon/monster things like out of some Stephen King novel there all looking at you being like 'human you're outside of your time'

I'd probably get really excited and try to give them all hugs and offer to try and help with their time maintenance work thing - or at least try to come off as some sort of helpful if naive little critter. But my kindness and intense desire to know how the universe works would be pretty genuine. I'd do my very best not to come off as annoying in my fawning over and desire to help figure out solutions, but I'd probably be annoying anyways.

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

VendaGoat posted:

It's like that one poster stated with the cum shots, but with poo poo....

You know what?

poo poo and cum shots, for an entire human lifetime.

:grin:

I appreciate you, VendaGoat.

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

OctoberBlues posted:

I appreciate you, VendaGoat.



What's that Toilet Shoes?

I meant what I said...

And I said what I meant.

An Elephants faithful, 100 percent.

...

Nolan Arenado
May 8, 2009

VendaGoat posted:



What's that Toilet Shoes?

I meant what I said...

And I said what I meant.

An Elephants faithful, 100 percent.

...

:yaycloud:

VendaGoat
Nov 1, 2005

:) As long as you are happy :)

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Andorra
Dec 12, 2012
Give everyone in ISIS an atomic wedgie.

Make the Vikings win the Superbowl and the Nationals win the World Series.

Put the salt shaker where someone was just about to grab the pepper shaker.

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