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gently caress all the women
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Sep 1, 2016 06:35
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I'd use my powers to convince everyone I was a wizard first. then rob the banks, kill politicians etc. What you gonna do bitches, I'm a motherfuckin wizard? Like anyone tries to stop me and I just stop time, disappear or cause some chaos. Soon I won't even need to do it anymore, just threaten to use my magic and people will do what I ask. One day I might even take an apprentice. Hope you enjoy your new semi-benevolent wizard overlord scrubs
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Sep 1, 2016 06:42
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Actually I like that dye packs idea, I'd work out where they keep them before they're primed, and how to turn them on. Then choose my victim, someone on tv who's really annoying, then find out what time they leave home in the morning, when they're shooting their tv show, when they sleep. Every time, Bam! Ink explosion Imagine how many sets of clothes they'd have to go through every day
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Sep 1, 2016 06:54
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I'd thieve and live large and kill or frame for horrible crimes people I don't like. When I enter the twilight of my years, I'll travel the world and destabilize all world governments and figure out how to launch warheads so I can take the world with me when I go. Welp, that was fun, back to being a generally unhappy person.
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Sep 1, 2016 07:47
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gary oldmans diary posted:no. if by "we've established" you mean "you misunderstood". other people are on the "fly somewhere then freeze time" plan Okay. We'll add a step called "start the car", happy now? The reason some people are advocating a travel first, freeze second strategy is because the causeways would be lousy with stationary cars and most of us don't know how to fly a plane or helicopter. I suppose the real question is whether something needs to be continuously interacted with to operate, or if someone can just unstick something and walk off. If a ball is rolling downhill at the time of a freeze event and I kick it what happens? Does my foot break because the ball is locked in place? Does the ball move to the exact point where it leaves contact with my foot? Or does the ball continue rolling downhill?
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Sep 1, 2016 08:22
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JediTalentAgent posted:Pull every fire alarm at once. 
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Sep 1, 2016 09:48
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pod6isjerks posted:Okay. We'll add a step called "start the car", happy now? The reason some people are advocating a travel first, freeze second strategy is because the causeways would be lousy with stationary cars and most of us don't know how to fly a plane or helicopter. I suppose the real question is whether something needs to be continuously interacted with to operate, or if someone can just unstick something and walk off. If a ball is rolling downhill at the time of a freeze event and I kick it what happens? Does my foot break because the ball is locked in place? Does the ball move to the exact point where it leaves contact with my foot? Or does the ball continue rolling downhill? And if everything's frozen wouldn't you be in total darkness since light isn't actively reflecting off anything or bouncing into your eyes? And wouldn't you have to constantly keep moving to get oxygen, since the oxygen molecules are locked in place as well? Goddamn. You guys could take the fun out of a wet dream.
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Sep 1, 2016 12:26
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quicksilver is accelerating the students faster than the explosion would so he's actually killing them harder and furthermore *ffffffffffaaaaaaaaaaaaaart*
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Sep 1, 2016 12:32
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I'd subtly break into houses and apartments until I find a super drunk guy smoking weed and watching porn, then replace the porn he was watching with hardcore gay stuff. Keep doing this over the course of months if not years until he starts doubting his sexuality. "Do I go gay when I'm hosed up? Maybe I'm really gay and I've been lying to myself this whole time. I don't feel gay, I just..." etc. Then steal his computer and wallet.
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Sep 1, 2016 13:07
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Die instantly because the temperature would be absolute zero.
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Sep 1, 2016 13:12
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dance atop an aircraft carrier deck while wearing nothing but a body stocking
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Sep 1, 2016 13:12
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Im pretty sure if you could prove it to the CIA that you could gently caress around with the flow of time every single person would have the same idea. Superspy.
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Sep 1, 2016 13:41
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Putin's team finishes the sweep of his room, but they couldn't find you, a guy hiding behind a potted plant that moves behind the curtains when they check behind the potted plant.
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Sep 1, 2016 13:46
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E Equals MC Hammer posted:Im pretty sure if you could prove it to the CIA that you could gently caress around with the flow of time every single person would have the same idea. Superspy. More like superrapist
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Sep 1, 2016 13:50
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A good point. Putin would probably have far better uses for a person that could freeze time. Just don't let the catholic church learn of your existence...
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Sep 1, 2016 13:52
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And stay far away from israel...
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Sep 1, 2016 13:53
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From the perspective of normal people, real time harlem shake videos Every day warp a child into an animal enclosure at the Cincinnati Zoo until it closes down Go to BronyCon and put one single hornet into every fursuit Wear a grotesque Hillary Clinton mask and stand in the peripheral vision of Sean Hannity and unfreeze time for 100 milliseconds, then freeze it again and go home. Do this a couple times a day and watch his sanity unravel on live TV Put a small toy turtle, no larger than a marble, into Donald Trump's pocket every single day Before Justin Bieber goes in public, draw a little swastika in sharpie on his elbow or something and then let the paparazzi and court of public opinion bury him. If he claims it was a prank by someone else and it gains traction, do it again The first of every month warp a silverback gorilla into an unoccupied bathroom stall at the White House
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Sep 1, 2016 14:01
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935 posted:Put a small toy turtle, no larger than a marble, into Donald Trump's pocket every single day sensiblechuckle.gif
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Sep 1, 2016 14:03
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I might make my existence known but, never my identity. Like another poster said, anonymity is really your only defense against sneak attacks. Even working with your government means they'd be keeping tabs on you 24/7 and developing contingency plans to take you out. Declaring yourself a god wouldn't work either because eventually somebody would test that theory and then you're in trouble. I'd be a shadowy supervillain pulling the strings of governments via outlandish Dr. Evil style messages to enact global policies that would also benefit me financially as a side effect. pod6isjerks fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Sep 1, 2016 |
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Sep 1, 2016 14:49
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Do you age while time is frozen? I'm only gonna write "mods knew" into random corn fields if I don't age.
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Sep 1, 2016 15:01
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Germstore posted:Do you age while time is frozen? I'm only gonna write "mods knew" into random corn fields if I don't age. I'm afraid you do age. 
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Sep 1, 2016 15:03
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I'd still do it a couple times then, just not thousands of times.
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Sep 1, 2016 15:04
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pod6isjerks posted:I might make my existence known but, never my identity. Like another poster said, anonymity is really your only defense against sneak attacks. Even working with your government means they'd be keeping tabs on you 24/7 and developing contingency plans to take you out. Declaring yourself a god wouldn't work either because eventually somebody would test that theory and then you're in trouble. Yeah, but their 24hour surveillance is gonna show them I never sleep or eat (stopping time then eating and sleeping on a nice pair of tits). I dunno about the sneak attack thing, but I'm pretty sure all major players need to worry about that and if I set myself up as a powerful wizard I can get some bodyguards and a nice secluded wizard fortress etc.
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Sep 1, 2016 21:16
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If I could freeze time, I would freeze it, and once it was frozen I'd climb on top of it and go skating.
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Sep 1, 2016 21:43
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bitterandtwisted posted:Die instantly because the temperature would be absolute zero. if the temperature dropped to absolute zero instantaneously would you actually die? i imagine ice crystals and the poo poo that normally kills freezing people wouldn't form if all molecular activity just stopped outright it's a moot point though because TCUs work like integral calculus - instead of "instantaneous rates of acceleration" you have "instantaneous temperatures" and "instantaneous inertia" but it's a fun thought experiment
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Sep 1, 2016 21:52
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Gently KRS posted:Actually I like that dye packs idea, I'd work out where they keep them before they're primed, and how to turn them on. Then choose my victim, someone on tv who's really annoying, then find out what time they leave home in the morning, when they're shooting their tv show, when they sleep. Every time, Bam! Ink explosion It also stains your skin whatever colour for a few days\weeks.
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Sep 1, 2016 22:03
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If I could freeze time I'd talk to the camera about how hot Kelly Kapowski is and how Screen is such a goofball!
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Sep 1, 2016 23:21
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If i froze time, then touched a girls titties and unfroze time, wouldnt the infinite amount of energy my mass must have by moving faster than the speed of light and coliding with girls titties cause the girls titties and then the rest of the universe to explode?
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Sep 1, 2016 23:30
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It would create a black hole that expands at the speed of light, but because the universe is expanding there are parts of it that the black hole would never reach.
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Sep 1, 2016 23:35
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Freezing time sucks.
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Sep 1, 2016 23:39
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mdm posted:If I could freeze time I'd talk to the camera about how hot Kelly Kapowski is and how Screen is such a goofball! Instead of that I'd put my dick in Kelly Kapowski. And Screech. e: and everyone else on the planet.
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Sep 1, 2016 23:39
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None of that weird poo poo happens, only normal poo poo!
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Sep 1, 2016 23:48
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So, to get the rules we've generally agreed upon straight: - Time freezes completely whenever you decide and unfreezes whenever you decide - Almost anything you touch while time is frozen becomes animated and enters frozen time with you - The ground does not count as a thing you are touching - People also do not become animated so you can touch their boobs or poop in their mouth or w/e - Complex machines like cars still work because things you're touching touch other things etc - You come back at the exact instant you left, not even a microsecond later - You age normally while time is frozen - The laws of physics/thermodynamics et al do not apply their effects to you or things you do at the moment you freeze or unfreeze because that'd just break the whole thing and ruin the whole point of the question That about all of it?
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Sep 1, 2016 23:49
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Teikanmi posted:More like superrapist I mean you could impregnate thousands of unssipecting women until your dna is everywhere like gengis khan sure
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Sep 1, 2016 23:49
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CJacobs posted:So, to get the rules we've generally agreed upon straight: Yes, thank you!
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Sep 1, 2016 23:52
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CJacobs posted:So, to get the rules we've generally agreed upon straight: He wants to suspend all the laws of physics which indicate travelling faster than the speed of light would end the universe too. And instant entropy might be a thing too, if every other particle in the universe is frozen immobile. EDIT: you beat me posting. Did you.... Freeze time?
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Sep 1, 2016 23:52
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Does the ejaculate freeze as soon as it breaks contact? Would it produce a jizz sonic boom?
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Sep 1, 2016 23:53
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Germstore posted:Does the ejaculate freeze as soon as it breaks contact? Would it produce a jizz sonic boom? Hmm, this is a good question. After the jizz leaves your body does it just hang there in the air? Do you have to pretend to be an artist and paint with your dick to get your jizz to stay on things and have momentum when you unfreeze??
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Sep 1, 2016 23:54
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id glue a fortune cookie's fortune paper to every dick i saw
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Sep 1, 2016 23:58
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Germstore posted:Does the ejaculate freeze as soon as it breaks contact? Would it produce a jizz sonic boom? You have to imagine the "unfrozen field" around you like a diffuse aura extending a few feet so that air can circulate enough for you to breathe, otherwise you'd be encased in the field as if you're shrink-wrapped, rebreathing your own carbon dioxide and farts all the time. So if you spit, piss, poo poo, or jizz, it's reasonable to assume that the projectiles travel a few feet before freezing. I imagine a bullet, crossbow bolt, or thrown projectile would work the same. The decision to unfreeze a frozen object so you can use it should be manually controlled, like a mental command, or hell even a verbal command like, "Unfreeze this car!" That way you're not accidentally unfreezing stuff you want to stay frozen. There should also be safety features built in so that you don't stub your toe or trip over totally unmovable objects, or shred the bottoms of your feet on blades of grass that do not yield. Your "unfrozen aura" would have to be intelligent enough to decide which things should be allowed to move and which things to keep frozen. Also, goons need to stop nitpicking poo poo like air resistance, light, friction, relativity etc cause this is clearly magic not science. You're a time wizard with infinite mana points, not a speed mutant like Quicksilver. So that means your jizz would not produce a sonic boom. It would appear out of thin air, possibly conserving the momentum it had upon exiting your body.
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Sep 2, 2016 01:02
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