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Its about the size of a dime on my anus and makes sitting uncomfortable. Not an extreme amount of pain but im constantly aware of it. Problem is I had a shitload of cabbage today (Korean food owns) and I can't stop farting which hurts. Any advice? No i am not fat to get that out of the way.
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Sep 2, 2016 23:27
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youre clearly fat
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Sep 2, 2016 23:29
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glad you decided to post this amazing thread op you're really going places
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Sep 2, 2016 23:30
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Cigstomper58 posted:Its about the size of a dime on my anus and makes sitting uncomfortable. Not an extreme amount of pain but im constantly aware of it. Go to the Dr and show him/her your rear end in a top hat.
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Sep 2, 2016 23:31
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The_end posted:Go to the Dr and show him/her your rear end in a top hat. Or co-workers. Or just some rando on the street.
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Sep 2, 2016 23:32
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How does someone get hemorroids? I don't want to look it up
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Sep 2, 2016 23:37
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not using enough lube when butt loving
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Sep 2, 2016 23:38
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I'll cut it out with an exacto
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Sep 2, 2016 23:39
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Cigstomper58 posted:Its about the size of a dime on my anus and makes sitting uncomfortable. Not an extreme amount of pain but im constantly aware of it. PM me when it gets to the size of an Eisenhower dollar and not a moment before
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Sep 2, 2016 23:40
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OctoberBlues posted:How does someone get hemorroids? I don't want to look it up I get them after eating oranges, or drinking orange juice. Any number of causes really. Man up and ask for suppositories at the pharmacy. Then shove them up your rear end, but be warned they'll melt and ruin your underwear.
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Sep 2, 2016 23:42
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it feels good wiping my butt due to hemorrhoids; because it itches so much.
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Sep 2, 2016 23:47
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School Nickname posted:I get them after eating oranges, or drinking orange juice. Any number of causes really. ive never used one before. Although I have messed around with my anus before. What do they do
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Sep 3, 2016 00:01
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Try a witch hazel enema
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Sep 3, 2016 00:03
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Shoulda named them asteroids
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Sep 3, 2016 00:42
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how do people get hemoroids i have none
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Sep 3, 2016 00:44
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extra stout posted:how do people get hemoroids i have none I think its cuz my poop is too hard or something. I dont eat enough fiber or drink enough water. I've only had one before though and it was painless. Was just feeling around one day and there it was. Didn't bother me none like this one.
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Sep 3, 2016 00:50
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Witch hazel wipes motherfucka, like mints for your tender rear end in a top hat
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Sep 3, 2016 00:54
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Cigstomper58 posted:ive never used one before. Although I have messed around with my anus before. What do they do Solid Vegetable oil that contains medicine. You shove it into your rear end, let it melt and the rectum easily absorbs the released medicine, due to a wealth of blood vessels in the area. Mention to your pharma that you have hemorrhoids. Some help with constipation afaik.
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Sep 3, 2016 00:57
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Yeah rub some witch basil on your butt that's really gonna help Freakin idiot
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Sep 3, 2016 00:57
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Uh it has witch in the name. It's magic Maybe even magik
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Sep 3, 2016 00:59
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pop it with a needle or pliers
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Sep 3, 2016 01:01
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needle nose pliers
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Sep 3, 2016 01:01
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I only trust witches to plunge into the hairy depths of my pungent turdcutter
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Sep 3, 2016 01:12
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kazr posted:needle nose pliers i read online not to do this as itll clot again. Also sepsis because I poop from there.
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Sep 3, 2016 01:16
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Thread is garbage without pics voting 1
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Sep 3, 2016 01:18
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ive read the grapes of wrath... but this is ridiculous!!
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Sep 3, 2016 01:19
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eye of newt in broth of ipecac. drink at witching hour
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Sep 3, 2016 01:22
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I suffer. Tried every cream and ointment and they dont work. Even tried the Canadian Prep H with biodyne that cost me a fortune on Ebay UK to import. They just swell up like cauliflower one day and can shrink to half the size the next day.
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Sep 3, 2016 01:48
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Why don't you take care of it using a vacuum cleaner?
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Sep 3, 2016 02:31
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If you can't pop it with your fingers try heating up a needle and lancing it. It will pop just like a zit and then you will feel better.
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Sep 3, 2016 02:55
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why didn't you go with "Cigarstomper"?
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Sep 3, 2016 02:57
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Here's a riveting account of another hemorrhoid popping courtesy of a "zit on my butthole" google search.quote:I wish I could say I was lying, but the thing just popped. I was lying in bed and I rolled over to pick up my phone that was ringing on my night stand and I felt it pop. I ran to the bathroom to see what had happened and surely enough, it was leaking puss. It's so gross. Wiped everything away and now I'm going to take a shower to make sure it's fully clensed. Maybe it was just a pimple. Weird. Hopefully there's no re occurrence. If there is, I'll have to result to a physician's help. Thanks so much for the advice here, though. Indeed.
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Sep 3, 2016 02:58
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Cigstomper58 posted:Its about the size of a dime on my anus and makes sitting uncomfortable. Not an extreme amount of pain but im constantly aware of it. Try sitting on soft surfaces if possible. Use soft pillows to sit on, maybe a heating pad on a low setting might help with some of the hurt. Limit your activity or movement if it is bothering you a lot on a given day. Warm showers/baths might help too.
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Sep 3, 2016 03:01
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Get on a sybian machine. The vibrations should shake all of the fluids out of ur butt.
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Sep 3, 2016 03:03
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pop it, post vid
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Sep 3, 2016 03:13
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Dave_Indeed posted:Here's a riveting account of another hemorrhoid popping courtesy of a "zit on my butthole" google search. it must have been a pimple or something because hemorroids are bursted blood vessels. So its full of half clotted blood not pus. Update: It seems to have grown in size in the last few hours. Pains about the same not too bad. I have a date tomorrow but luckily its a lunch date so im unlikely to have anyone feeling around down there.
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Sep 3, 2016 03:45
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your face is hurtin me also gasssssssssssss
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Sep 3, 2016 03:49
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Tramadol Junkie posted:I suffer. Tried every cream and ointment and they dont work. Even tried the Canadian Prep H with biodyne that cost me a fortune on Ebay UK to import. maybe if you weren't addicted to opioids you would pass bowel movements frequently that weren't football sized and hard as stone you gigantic piece of poo poo 
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Sep 3, 2016 03:50
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same OP. bright red shits today same as usual
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Sep 3, 2016 03:59
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kazr posted:maybe if you weren't addicted to opioids you would pass bowel movements frequently that weren't football sized and hard as stone you gigantic piece of poo poo I know.  It doesn't help that I am sat down or in my wheelchair all day most days either.
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Sep 3, 2016 04:01
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