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Okay, so it's now storytime with ol' Uncle Cobaiiiiiiiiin! Let me tell you about last Wednesday, oh Lord what a day it was. So after work, I decided to visit my friend Noelle. She's been feeling kinda down lately and I offered her my extra N64 and some games to help her feel better. Well, the plan was to stop in, drop it off, maybe talk for a bit, then I'd go home. Whoops, we ended up losing track of time because I kind of have a major crush on her and wanted to spend more time with her. So I ended up leaving at like 3am. On my drive home, the GPS took me down a dirt road. This road, while it was said to lead out onto a main street, it was actually an ATV trail. The trail was so narrow that I couldn't turn around. I figured it had to lead to a street eventually, but I was dead wrong. I kept going forward and eventually the car sank into a swamp and hit a log. I try opening my door to assess how hosed I was, but the door couldn't open. The water is too high and water starts pooling. All the warning lights on the dash light up, alarms sounding, bad news, So I cut the engine and go out the non-sunken side, the passenger side. After I did that, however, the door closes behind me, and since I'm the Patron Saint of Bad Luck, it actually LOCKED behind me. Luckily, there was another way in. My slightly ajar drivers side door. In waist high water. So I had to trudge through the swamp. Said swamp ATE my shoes and my pants. So I am now completely bottomless just lounging in a flooded car about a mile away from civilization. So from here I do what I must do: call 911. Firemen come and see this motherfucker in an FLCL shirt and bright purple underwear leaning out of a yellow VW bug. They mention we had to hike up to the road and the cops would drive me back to City. Well, I mention the lack of shoes so they had to loan me fireman's boots. So here I am trudging along pantless in fireman boots up I swear half a mile worth of hill. It is HARD to walk in those, btw. After that I get to the cops. loving hell were they rude. They tell me, "We got more important things to do than drive some wasted college punk home." And I'm like, yeah, but I am stranded over an hour drive from home with no vehicle, how will I get there? They tell me oh I MUST have friends. Bear in mind at this point it's 4:30a. I try calling almost everyone in my contact list's phone who has a car, but no answer. Obviously. I then go, gently caress it, take me back to Noelle's. So I walk in, thankfully the door was still unlocked, knocked on her bedroom door, and there I am standing face to face with the girl I've kinda had a thing for for awhile now drenched in mud and without pants. She let me use her shower and gave me clean clothes. Also, despite being deathly tired, she stayed up the rest of the night with me until I could get a tow truck in the morning (about noonish). I also ended up asking her out that night, but she still is unsure of what's going on with her and her ex and doesn't want to lead me on or anything (they actually ended up hanging out the next weekend, that ended in a loving disaster and then led to me picking her up in my rental car because he wouldn't drive her home and then us getting dinner...woo?), however I will say she not only didn't say no, she said she wouldn't be opposed to the idea. So there's hope maybe? Especially since when we were watching Netflix, I had my arm around her, cuddling and whatnot, and feel like if she had no interest in me whatsoever she'd be like, "Bruh, the gently caress?" But Jesus Christ is her ex a loving chode so even if I do strike out, I hope she stops chasing after that gently caress. Anyway, when I got to the towing company, first I tried to see if AAA would help, but they couldn't since I was nowhere close to a street. I got a company to help me get it onto the street again, took over an hour to pull it out and we had to use an ATV, MANY cables and chains, and the actual towtruck. They were AAA certified so they also drove it to a garage in City and that was of no charge. (The initial towing though was a steep $575) The lady even bought me Sheetz because I hadn't eaten since 2am the night before. Overall it was a wild loving adventure, and despite the wreck, I have to say it was the highlight of my Summer. But drat do I need to get a new car quick.
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Sep 6, 2016 17:32
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 17:06 |
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give me one sec, i'm going to read all of that
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Sep 6, 2016 17:39
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Everybody gonna be stuck in the swamp this fall as the Florida Gators roll coal all over the sec
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Sep 6, 2016 17:41
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it's good to have adventures sometimes
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Sep 6, 2016 17:47
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ya i had sex w ur mom 2 op
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Sep 6, 2016 17:48
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why did you ask the girl out when you were wearing an anime shirt... Great story otherwise, congrats on the swamp
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Sep 6, 2016 17:49
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gently caress the ROW posted:why did you ask the girl out when you were wearing an anime shirt... Great story otherwise, congrats on the swamp Actually, I asked her out wearing her shirt. And the anime shirt was so covered in mud, the design was completely covered. Debatable on whether this made things worse or better, but I don't really care either way.
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Sep 6, 2016 17:54
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this is an inspiring story of hope and perseverance in the face of impossible odds. bravo for representing the best of america - for all of us also you should keep a sump pump in your car so you can pump yourself out next time
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Sep 6, 2016 17:56
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Good story! however, MrCobaiiiiiiiiin posted:bright purple underwear  This was in Louisiana?
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Sep 6, 2016 17:58
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Cool which subreddit did you steal this from?
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Sep 6, 2016 17:58
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MyChemicalImbalance posted:Cool which subreddit did you steal this from? Hey n64s are easy to carry and he started with a car. He could have been wading through a bog, printer held resolutely overhead.
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Sep 6, 2016 18:01
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good thing it was a swamp rather than a bog. if it was a bog that would mean you were in england.
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Sep 6, 2016 18:03
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It's a p good story I must admit.
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Sep 6, 2016 18:14
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Yah I read that entire OP and I actually wasn't disappointed I hope things work out for you muddy OP
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Sep 6, 2016 18:57
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ROFLburger posted:give me one sec, i'm going to read all of that not me
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Sep 6, 2016 19:10
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You didn't have a window to slip out of? Nobody knows you at all?
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Sep 6, 2016 19:13
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Sheetz sucks you should have got wawa you human being
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Sep 6, 2016 19:21
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op displays a callous disregard for future archaeologists
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Sep 6, 2016 19:33
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Did the op get his dick wet or what?
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Sep 6, 2016 20:00
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Boy, this sure is A Thing. A (Swamp) Thing. Bahahahahaha  
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Sep 6, 2016 20:01
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I didn't read all of that. Is it a story about the origins of swamp gas? I'm just going to assume it is.
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Sep 6, 2016 20:01
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Egbert Souse posted:You didn't have a window to slip out of? Nobody knows you at all? Oh plenty of people do, it's just most are productive members of society who are sleeping at 4:30am. PoorMoralCompass posted:Good story! however, Western PA, I just like to make a bold statement with my drawers.
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Sep 6, 2016 20:02
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i had a similar kind of story when i went mountain biking once. i started down a trail that quickly become unridable but i decided just to keep pushing forward because it had to go somewhere and it was in the direction i was going so maybe it would link up turns out it just kept going up a big rear end mountain. so i went up the mountain and down the other side of the mountain while hauling a 35 lbs dual suspension MTB on my back in 30 degree celsius with no tree cover and im sweating buckets. hikers were all like "you know you cant ride here" and im like yeah no poo poo rear end in a top hat billy goats would have trouble even walking here let alone riding a drat bicycle down a cliff. but i never turned around. gently caress that. backtracking is for losers.
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Sep 6, 2016 20:21
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Hey op I wound up stuck in your dad's rear end too!
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Sep 7, 2016 00:36
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Looks like youll never be the head of a major corporation 
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Sep 7, 2016 00:37
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You know your car has a reverse gear, right? Like, you don't have to turn around, the car will move backwards.
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Sep 7, 2016 00:43
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...ruining the very pants I had meant to return!
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Sep 7, 2016 00:45
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swamp.avi
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Sep 7, 2016 00:46
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I didn't read it but I'm replying. Thanks for the opportunity
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Sep 7, 2016 00:47
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For the record I stopped reading at the 4th "I" in cobain
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Sep 7, 2016 00:48
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Back when manual transmissions were the prevalent thing my great uncle thought the R stood for Race and was the gear after 5 or 6 or whatever the highest gear is.
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Sep 7, 2016 00:48
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amityville anus posted:Back when manual transmissions were the prevalent thing my great uncle thought the R stood for Race and was the gear after 5 or 6 or whatever the highest gear is. Did he work at Nintendo?
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Sep 7, 2016 00:50
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amityville anus posted:Back when manual transmissions were the prevalent thing my great uncle thought the R stood for Race and was the gear after 5 or 6 or whatever the highest gear is. Genius
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Sep 7, 2016 00:52
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Number 1 Sexy Dad posted:For the record I stopped reading at the 4th "I" in cobain That's about when the story stopped being remotely interesting, honestly. You got to the highlight.
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Sep 7, 2016 22:13
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op you never really said if noelle got all her stuff printed or not, after that whole story you kinda left us hanging
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Sep 7, 2016 22:31
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Boner Zone posted:op you never really said if noelle got all her stuff printed or not, after that whole story you kinda left us hanging I don't follow? I don't recall mentioning anything being printed? Elaborate. Any questions you have about the night, I'd be happy to fill in any missing details.
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Sep 7, 2016 23:11
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social vegan posted:ya i had sex w ur mom 2 op gently caress this is the second thread someone beat me to the correct reply
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Sep 7, 2016 23:12
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Number 1 Sexy Dad posted:Did he work at Nintendo? He was from Amish country
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Sep 7, 2016 23:59
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Is there some sort of e/n exchange program happening here?
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Sep 8, 2016 00:36
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I'm sure it's a very nice post, op
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Sep 8, 2016 00:38
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