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I'm in my 50s so I am getting close to the age where I could make a whole conversation about my ailments, which are 99% my own fault. There are just too many stupid, risky but "fun" things to do! As of now I have broken my collar bones (one has set in some weird sandwich manner), rotator cuff injuries to both shoulders, cracked my sternum, pelvis, one femur, mashed my right ankle to bits (the pins only came out a few years ago) resulting in a permanent limp, my right arm (ulna?), probably all the ribs have been cracked at least once and am pretty sure I have broken every bone in both hands by now. I can't feel my right pinky from the first digit down, my left index finger is numb on the tip (got caught in a hedge clipper), I have some sort of permanent whiplash condition in my neck (the curve at the top of my spine has been sort of flattened out). Scars left from various surgeries (staples, etc) a couple stab wounds, 2 bullet wounds and a scar on the back of my head where I was hit with a cinder block (it flattened the back of my skull slightly). I have had 7 teeth forcefully removed (only 1 by a dentist...) Yet here I am the only guy I know in my 50s who has no medical issues and doesn't have any medication. Sure sometimes I ache (what's a little sciatica after all this fun?) but I am healthy as an ox. I just can't walk too fast or do a decent layup in basketball. I'll probably get rheumatoid arthritis as punishment. Dirk Squarejaw posted:41 and had a clavicle resection a few years ago after a motorcycle accident. My shoulder pops every once in a while when moving my arm. Shoulder pop is rotator cuff issues? How did the resection work out? I have the bad fusing issue where the ends are sort of at mismatched angles. I heard this surgery can actually weaken the clavicle (which is a retartedly weak bone to begin with). * Edits because I type with my elbows.
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Sep 8, 2016 18:35
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| # ? Apr 26, 2024 17:59 |
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It's burns when I pee and there is always puss coming out of my urethra.
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Sep 8, 2016 19:01
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bruvs be4 luvs
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i have 1.5 hit dice
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Sep 8, 2016 19:07
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Broke my pinkie toe two Christmases ago. Also had a vesectomy right before that. Herniated disk from doing dead lifts after reading the power lifting mega thread in watch and weight. Still hurts every single day. Torn cartilage in both knees. High blood pressure. Wired red spots of both feet and torso that won't go away. Big scar on back from botched mole removal. One knuckle real big. Diarrhea all the timw
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Sep 8, 2016 20:13
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8 track betamax posted:Herniated disk from doing dead lifts after reading the power lifting mega thread in watch and weight. Still hurts every single day
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Sep 8, 2016 20:16
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Dubplate Fire posted:It's burns when I pee and there is always puss coming out of my urethra. That's perfectly normal.
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Sep 8, 2016 21:23
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One time I took a spill at a Korean market and busted my head open and as I lay there blessing on the streets of Koreatown a little bit of their magical incense wafted into the Crack in my skull and cursed me with immortality
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Sep 8, 2016 21:36
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AugmentedVision posted:the gooniest health history It's true - sat around doing nothing, ignoring red flags. I am more goon than human.
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Sep 8, 2016 21:50
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Healthy and fit (sometimes more than others, currently dipping oreos into coffee cream) Separated ankle in 2008 hairline fracture in foot from TKD in the 90's weak rotator cuffs both shoulders from judo permanent dent in glute muscle from a fall down some stairs in mexico scar on my wrist that looks like a suicide attempt but it was actually from trying to pull apart one of those plastic sealed containers they store small electronics in or whatever.
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Sep 8, 2016 21:51
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Bedevere posted:Shoulder pop is rotator cuff issues? How did the resection work out? I have the bad fusing issue where the ends are sort of at mismatched angles. I heard this surgery can actually weaken the clavicle (which is a retartedly weak bone to begin with). Just for some back story, I had borrowed my brother's bike and went to eat lunch with him and my girlfriend who were taking the MSF class that weekend. I had 50k under my belt and I ended up being the one who wrecked that weekend. I was on a service road that curved as it ascended to the end of a bridge that ran perpendicular to the road I was on. I was moving faster than I should have been, slid through the corner and the bike caught in the grass and stopped, but I flew superman style down into a guys yard that was at least 10ft lower than where the bike stopped. Hit head and shoulder first. Luckily I was wearing full gear, or especially without a helmet I'd probably be dead or making GBS threads myself in a hospital bed. Right after the wreck, the end of my clavicle where it meets the shoulder was about 1" above where it was supposed to be and I had a huge lump there and it made it to where I couldn't raise my arm straight up and clicked. The doctor trimmed it down and it made a huge difference. I haven't had any pain or anything else since a few days after surgery other than the occasional popping which may/may not be related. Kirk Vikernes fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Sep 8, 2016 |
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Sep 8, 2016 22:17
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The very first shift of a hockey game we won the faceoff, the puck went into the corner and 2 guys hit me at once, one hit my body one hit my leg and my kneecap basically turned around backward. When I rolled over on the ice it ground back into place. That tore my ACL, MCL, PCL but I tried to shake it off by skating around a bit after the next whistle, no go heh. The pain wasn't so bad, but thinking of that sensation even now makes me borderline queasy.
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Sep 8, 2016 22:23
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Fractured my toe, metatarsal, arm, shoulder, 2 ribs, and wrist (not all at once), and 2 concussions I think. Since I'm a oldy I have cesium 90 or some poo poo in my bones due to nuclear bomb tests too. And gout.
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Sep 8, 2016 22:47
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I've had three back surgeries for Scoliosis thanks to an incompetent Doctor. 1. Had routine Scoliosis surgery at 12 years old. Two rods placed on each side of my spine, plus he used bone from my hip for the fusion and to repair my vertebrae. I ended up with a staph infection (that nearly killed me,) which he blamed on my body rejecting the metal. 2. Instead of treating the infection first to see if it really was my body rejecting the metal, he simply took the rods out. I spent weeks on an IV line to clear up the infection. Once that cleared, he discharged me from his care and retired. In ten years time, my spine re-curves even worse thanks to the bones not healing properly and the infection trauma. 3. Unable to take the chronic pain, discomfort, and shortness of breath anymore, I was referred to the head Orthopedic Doctor at Johns Hopkins Hospital. I figured if he couldn't fix me, no one could. I ended up with two titanium rods and broken ribs thanks to that crazy old sum bitch. He was way past retirement age, but because he was such a drat good doctor, they begged him to stay on. He had a dark, cut dry sense of humor and was scatter brained as Hell, but goddamn. The Man knew his poo poo. I was one of his last patients before he finally retired. It's been 12 years since that surgery and unless the weather is cold, damp or I do something physically stupid, my back is no trouble at all. Besides my back, I have a bad knee, hip and shoulder joints and had bunion surgery on both feet. I'm pretty sure that if future archeologists discover my remains, it will simply be a metal shaped skeleton. 
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Sep 9, 2016 00:22
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I'm pretty sure I broke my nose when I was like 9 or 10 but didn't know it at the time, and now it's crooked. Not by a lot, but noticeably.
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Sep 9, 2016 00:27
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32. Mild concussion and meniscus tear in my right knee, MMA in college Moderate to severe concussion, slipped on a patch of ice delivering pizza and bounced my skull off the pavement Torn right ACL, sprained MCL, meniscus tear in my first (only) amateur boxing match. Took a right hook and stumbled. Torn ACL, slipped on a patch of ice walking to the train from PT. Broken collarbone and mild concussion from a bike accident. Herniated lumbar and thorasic discs in back from poor form lifting. Assorted scars from road rash, accidental cuts, knee surgery, ect. Most notable of those is the one I got when I shot myself with an arrow.
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Sep 9, 2016 14:02
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Late 30s, big scar on my cheek from an uneventful knife fight
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Sep 9, 2016 16:18
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Late 50s big scar on nutsack where my balls were cut out in an eventful knifefight
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Sep 9, 2016 16:54
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I'm thirty-six. I have broken my left wrist falling off my front porch when I was eight. Five years later, what was first diagnosed as a torn ligament was changed over the following three months to scoliosis to a broken back to finally a stage two slipped capital femoral epiphysis. Surgery and six months on crutches later, I get in a car wreck and break my elbow. Since then, I've been relatively injury free, asides from having a mouthful of broken chicklets instead of teeth due to a combination of non-fluoridated water and the long-standing problem of systemic poverty in Appalachia being an obstacle to dental (and other) insurance. Then there's the serious case of the broken headmeats leading to frequent instances of fleeting suicidal ideation, but I'm thankfully getting counseling for that.
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Sep 9, 2016 18:23
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Lets see, i started out with renal agenesis so only have 1 kidney, ive had pneumonia and a spontaneous pneumothorax (twice, one collapse of each lung) . after the lung stuff I started smoking and haven't had any issues since. I want to have kids because I think they'll be the next evolution of humanity lol
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Sep 9, 2016 18:32
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I'm gonna take out life insurance policies on all y'all busted rear end nerds.
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Sep 9, 2016 19:02
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I fully ruptured my UCL in my elbow when I was rock climbing. 45 degree wall, only like 3 or 4 feet fall onto a mat but I tried to catch myself and stuck my arm out and hyperextended my elbow. I was back to climbing in 4 months but I couldn't throw anything full strength for about a year. Healed up fine and I'm good as new. Otherwise I keep myself in good shape, no broken bones, no allergies, near sighted in one eye, got my first cavity last year at 29, haven't had even a cold in 2 years now.
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Sep 9, 2016 20:27
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