Theophany posted:

Hello Americants,

This is your parents speaking.

We were happy we dumped James Corden and Piers Morgan on you, you were dumb as poo poo to take those aborted retards on, but you did the same to us with David Gest (hey, we killed him for you, you're welcome) and that fat poo poo nobody cares about or remembers.

But we're getting annoyed at the lovely comedians you're dumping on us now. What is this contrived 'roast' nonsense you're shilling us? We believe Ann Coulter is that loving stupid, but we reject that David Spade can string a sentence together without an army of writers. And to add insult to injury, you took Jon Stewart off the air and gave us some dude from our own loving colony and branded it American.

Please go back to making Two and a Half Men with Charlie Sheen. This pleased us greatly. Charlie Sheen is your greatest achievement, America.

Now clean your loving room.

Love,
Mom & Dad