Post your best Flashlight

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Post your best Flashlight

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

I recently went on a camping trip with my brother. I had not gone in several years and I found after an inventory of my camping stuff that my flashlight was toast. I had one of those decent flashlights, the ones with the extra bulb in the cap!

I went to Walmart to get a new flashlight. Little did I know that flashlight technology had become much more advanced in the last 10 years or something. I got the best one, as in the most expensive one that was made of metal. No plastic, I am a rugged outdoors-man! It was the Ventura 600L, and Holly molly it is like a spot light! :eyepop:

I had all sorts of fun blasting people in the face with this light, it was like using the Solar Flare attack. Complete blindness after even a fraction of a second. You could rob a bank with this thing and blind the helicopter

Everyone please post you best flashlights! You can also post lasers and spotlights. please no particle beams

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:37

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 21:05

EvilJoven: Mar 18, 2005; NOBODY,IN THE HISTORY OF EVER, HAS ASKED OR CARED WHAT CANADA THINKS. YOU ARE NOT A COUNTRY. YOUR MONEY HAS THE QUEEN OF ENGLAND ON IT. IF YOU DIG AROUND IN YOUR BACKYARD, NATIVE SKELETONS WOULD EXPLODE OUT OF YOUR LAWN LIKE THE END OF POLTERGEIST. CANADA IS SO POLITE, EH?; Fun Shoe

This thing owns it's bright as hell and unlike other lamps where you have to do some button combo to get a different color that fucks up half the time resulting in you blinding everyone, you just slide whatever filter you've installed over it.

Apparently red light doesn't preserve night vision like people previously thought but it's still way less blinding when you need to turn it on in a tent at 3am.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:42

Lucky Guy: Jan 24, 2013; TY for no bm

i like the one that looks like a butthole and i put my wiener in it

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:54

GORDON: Jan 1, 2006; by Fluffdaddy

Thread delivers, 5'd.

I bought a couple of these to use while diving. They are awesome.

https://www.amazon.com/Goldengulf-1800LM-Flashlight-Underwater-Submarine/dp/B012KB2QTO/ref=sr_1_22

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:54

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

That's nice OP but I do not care about flashlights because I am not a child.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:10

Bill Barber: Aug 26, 2015; Hot Rope Guy

a bone to pick posted:

That's nice OP but I do not care about flashlights because I am not a child.

Since when did children ever give a gently caress about a flashlight?

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:12

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

lmbo wait hang on, what if you had a flashlight but like when you turned it on it projected a picture of a girls b00bs -- get it, like she is flashing so its a FLASH light??? :roflolmao:

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:15

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

Bill Barber posted:

Since when did children ever give a gently caress about a flashlight?

i did

in the boy scouts it was always a hatchet measuring content, if you know what i mean

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:17

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Oh boy, i can't wait for the obvious parody thread!

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:20

a bone to pick: Sep 14, 2011; by FactsAreUseless

Hector Beerlioz posted:

Oh boy, i can't wait for the obvious parody thread!

PYF flash knight?

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:23

Kirk Vikernes: Apr 26, 2004; Count Goatnackh

EvilJoven posted:

That would probably be good for eating booty in the dark.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:23

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

a bone to pick posted:

PYF flash knight?

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:26

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

a bone to pick posted:

PYF flash knight?

Yes yes YES

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:28

Professor Shark: May 22, 2012

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:41

FreelanceSocialist: Nov 19, 2002

Rutibex posted:

psssh doesnt even have banding

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:53

Putty: Mar 21, 2013; HOOKED ON THE BROTHERS

wow nobody has posted the fleshlight yet im surpruse

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:54

FreelanceSocialist: Nov 19, 2002

Putty posted:

wow nobody has posted the fleshlight yet im surpruse

i was going to but decided a card game comment was better imo

# ? Sep 9, 2016 16:55

CollegeCop: Jul 11, 2005; You're right. I'm not a real cop. Those are imaginary handcuffs. And in a minute, we'll be going to the make-believe jail.

I picked up one of these during the Kickstarter campaign:

https://voltnow.com/collections/voltnow-exclusive/products/voltnow-volttorch-flashlight-10-400-mah-battery-bank?variant=20299153793

I took it on a Cub Scout camping trip with me not long after it came in. I had a smaller powerbank that I carried with me during the day to keep my cell phone topped up. By the end of the first day, the powerbank was empty and the cell phone was down to about 30%. I used the VoltNow for organizing the tent and a trip to the bathroom before bed, then I plugged the powerbank into the VoltNow, then the cell phone into the powerbank, and chain-charged them both overnight.

Pretty much the same deal the next night - powerbank dead, phone at 20-30%, used the VoltNow for pre-bed activities, then chain-charged overnight again.

The VoltNow still had about a 25% charge (one of 4 charge lights still lit) the next day when we were packing up to go home.

It's pretty bright on the lowest setting, and blindingly so on the highest setting.

All in all, and pretty good purchase.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:14

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

CollegeCop posted:

I picked up one of these during the Kickstarter campaign:

https://voltnow.com/collections/voltnow-exclusive/products/voltnow-volttorch-flashlight-10-400-mah-battery-bank?variant=20299153793

I took it on a Cub Scout camping trip with me not long after it came in. I had a smaller powerbank that I carried with me during the day to keep my cell phone topped up. By the end of the first day, the powerbank was empty and the cell phone was down to about 30%. I used the VoltNow for organizing the tent and a trip to the bathroom before bed, then I plugged the powerbank into the VoltNow, then the cell phone into the powerbank, and chain-charged them both overnight.

Pretty much the same deal the next night - powerbank dead, phone at 20-30%, used the VoltNow for pre-bed activities, then chain-charged overnight again.

The VoltNow still had about a 25% charge (one of 4 charge lights still lit) the next day when we were packing up to go home.

It's pretty bright on the lowest setting, and blindingly so on the highest setting.

All in all, and pretty good purchase.

sounds like a lot of phone use for a camping trip imo

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:28

Booblord Zagats: Oct 30, 2011; Pork Pro

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:43

CollegeCop: Jul 11, 2005; You're right. I'm not a real cop. Those are imaginary handcuffs. And in a minute, we'll be going to the make-believe jail.

Blue Train posted:

sounds like a lot of phone use for a camping trip imo

Old phone battery. Fringe cell area. Had to monitor a storm moving into the area. A slight GPS assist on a hike.

Also, I am the first line emergency response person at work, and my backup was sick, so I had to keep the phone on in case I got a call. Otherwise, I would have had it off most of the time.

But really, the point is that the flashlight is kick-rear end.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:51

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

I like the army one that's just an inverted J. Kind the kind they used in Vietnam.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:52

a whole buncha crows: May 8, 2003; WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:53

a whole buncha crows: May 8, 2003; WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

oops i thought it said fleshlight

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:53

a whole buncha crows: May 8, 2003; WHEN WE DON'T KNOW WHO TO HATE, WE HATE OURSELVES.-SA USER NATION (AKA ME!)

nevar forget

# ? Sep 9, 2016 17:56

Rutibex: Sep 9, 2001; by Fluffdaddy

CollegeCop posted:

I picked up one of these during the Kickstarter campaign:

https://voltnow.com/collections/voltnow-exclusive/products/voltnow-volttorch-flashlight-10-400-mah-battery-bank?variant=20299153793

I took it on a Cub Scout camping trip with me not long after it came in. I had a smaller powerbank that I carried with me during the day to keep my cell phone topped up. By the end of the first day, the powerbank was empty and the cell phone was down to about 30%. I used the VoltNow for organizing the tent and a trip to the bathroom before bed, then I plugged the powerbank into the VoltNow, then the cell phone into the powerbank, and chain-charged them both overnight.

Pretty much the same deal the next night - powerbank dead, phone at 20-30%, used the VoltNow for pre-bed activities, then chain-charged overnight again.

The VoltNow still had about a 25% charge (one of 4 charge lights still lit) the next day when we were packing up to go home.

It's pretty bright on the lowest setting, and blindingly so on the highest setting.

All in all, and pretty good purchase.

this thing looks really cool, and i was about to order one when i saw that it was one sale. it was deceptive kickstarter pricing though, as this thing seems to just be a sissy version of this fine product:
now this is a flashlight battery! 7x the mAh of that kickstarter thing, and this will even jumpstart a car :smug:

https://www.amazon.com/FUSHITON-Multi-Funtion-Emergency-Portable-flashlight/dp/B01KPMGLUA/

# ? Sep 9, 2016 18:07

Skeleton Ape: Dec 21, 2008

Rutibex posted:

this thing looks really cool, and i was about to order one when i saw that it was one sale. it was deceptive kickstarter pricing though, as this thing seems to just be a sissy version of this fine product:
now this is a flashlight battery! 7x the mAh of that kickstarter thing, and this will even jumpstart a car
https://www.amazon.com/FUSHITON-Multi-Funtion-Emergency-Portable-flashlight/dp/B01KPMGLUA/

quote:

Starting a vehicle approximately 30-50 times After fully charged. This jump starter can start Gasoline car below 6.0L/Diesel car below 2.0L.Start car at one time on cold & hot areas.( on -40�C~60�C areas.like Russia)

4 lighting models.High Quality 3LED Torch(3LED all have light), can lighting about 40 hours.Have "SOS model"(3long3short can last 120hours),fit for outdoors Help."Fast flashing model" for self-defense when meet attack.（use it shot his eyes!) *Special blink blue-red light for attention others when emergency parking .

Short circuit, over-charge, and over-heat protection,very safe.

After fully charged one time, can keep about months.For the first use, please fully discharge the battery and then charge it for 12 hours so as to activate the battery.

4 USB output 2A port for fast charging.8pin/30pin/Micro USB/Mini USB for choose.

Seems legit :ussr:

# ? Sep 9, 2016 18:16

Blue Train: Jun 17, 2012

Rutibex posted:

this thing looks really cool, and i was about to order one when i saw that it was one sale. it was deceptive kickstarter pricing though, as this thing seems to just be a sissy version of this fine product:
now this is a flashlight battery! 7x the mAh of that kickstarter thing, and this will even jumpstart a car
https://www.amazon.com/FUSHITON-Multi-Funtion-Emergency-Portable-flashlight/dp/B01KPMGLUA/

4 lighting models.High Quality 3LED Torch(3LED all have light), can lighting about 40 hours.Have "SOS model"(3long3short can last 120hours),fit for outdoors Help."Fast flashing model" for self-defense when meet attack.（use it shot his eyes!)

gently caress yea

# ? Sep 9, 2016 18:17

KawaiiAtomicBombs: Apr 15, 2016; ~Ka-Boom~

# ? Sep 9, 2016 18:19

FedEx Mercury: Jan 7, 2004; Me bad posting? That's unpossible!; Lipstick Apathy

Bullshit that thing can start a car.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 18:19

unpacked robinhood: Feb 18, 2013; by Fluffdaddy

I've had a nitecore d10 for years, its beat to poo poo and the knurling is completely gone, works like a charm. Chinese lights ftw

# ? Sep 9, 2016 19:12

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

notZaar posted:

Bullshit that thing can start a car.

they've had tiny little car jump start things for years now

I really gotta upgrade from my jump cables

# ? Sep 9, 2016 19:26

social vegan: Nov 7, 2014

# ? Sep 9, 2016 19:28

Sunswipe: Feb 5, 2016; by Fluffdaddy

Fenix E11. Top tip: wrap a strip of tape around one end (preferably the one that isn't the shiny bit), so when you inevitably have to hold it in your mouth you're not biting onto metal and don't drool.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 19:30

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# ? Apr 16, 2024 21:05

Genesplicer: Oct 19, 2002; I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus!; Total Clam

I have quite a few flashlights. For some reason I keep amassing them. I have one that's an optical flamethrower that puts out around 8000 lumens. I use it when the neighbors get too loud (which is rather often.) I turn my scanner radio up really loud, shine the light into the trees above their house and their music suddenly gets much quieter. Works like a charm.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 19:33

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Post your best Flashlight