Apple's new iPhone was a major fail. They're weak and it's time to compete

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Apple's new iPhone was a major fail. They're weak and it's time to compete

«‹›3 »

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

My new phone model is nothing but headphone jacks.

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:13

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:31

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Our market analysis shows that the military industrial complex is ripe for disruption. We're making a hand grenade with a headphone jack.

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:18

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

"Slap a jack on it." - Company motto

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:19

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

My new phone, made by Tandy, has a cassette player and a vhs tape rewinder in it and no less than five headphone jacks, just in case

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:23

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

Tandy also sells an adapter for the cassette player so if you want you can hook up a CD player to your phone

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:25

FluffieDuckie

Luvcow posted:

My new phone, made by Tandy, has a cassette player and a vhs tape rewinder in it and no less than five headphone jacks, just in case

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:35

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Pictured: mom and me, with our new phones:

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:50

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

misty mountaintop posted:

Pictured: mom and me, with our new phones:

# ? Sep 10, 2016 15:51

Dr. Yinz Ljubljana

the revolutionary iPhone 8, a solid case of brushed nickel and 15 headphone jacks.

take your iPhone 8 to the next level with this new optional iDisplay, a 3.5 inch AMOLED display with Retina technology

and to really make this the phone of the future, introducing the new iTouchPad Pro.

...

oh yeah, one more thing.

take amazing photos with our new iPhoto camera

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:34

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Ordered a new vibe off the internet. I was super excited about it; it's one of those futuristic ones that looks like some kind of crazy space ship egg thing, designed by a computer with access biology, psychology, and architecture journals so it has 15 different ways of hitting my G. I fire up the ol' pornhub, take her out of the box and get her buzzing and then I notice. No headphone jack?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:41

City of Glompton

limited time offer - Crystal Pepsi with a headphone jack

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:42

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Apple made a big splash removing the headphone jack. Imagine if they had had 100 times as many headphone jacks to remove.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:44

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Is your refrigerator running? Does it have a headphone jack?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:45

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

I Have No Headphone Jack and I Must Play Sum 41 - Fat Lip

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:46

City of Glompton

William Gibson was wrong about being wrong, I'm getting a headphone jack implant and I'll never have to worry about phone manufacturer's bad decisions again

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:49

eonwe

removing the jack was only fair. why dont they ever put a jill on the phone? its messed up

# ? Sep 10, 2016 17:51

Macnult

Microsoft utilizes this flop by Apple to bring back Zune: now with TWO headphone jacks and at least three buttons so you can pretend it's a phone

# ? Sep 10, 2016 19:12

Darkman Fanpage

i got headphone jack fever. i keep jacking on.

# ? Sep 10, 2016 19:54

Darkman Fanpage

you guys notice how weird "headphone jack" sounds? try saying it out loud a few times, you'll see.

# ? Sep 10, 2016 19:56

symbolic

introducing: the headphone jack! phone sold separately.

# ? Sep 10, 2016 19:58

google THIS

tim cook: I have to go help my uncle Jack off a horse

*everyone laughs*

tc: (under his breath) I'll show them. I'll show them all...

# ? Sep 10, 2016 20:00

FactsAreUseless

misty mountaintop posted:

Ordered a new vibe off the internet. I was super excited about it; it's one of those futuristic ones that looks like some kind of crazy space ship egg thing, designed by a computer with access biology, psychology, and architecture journals so it has 15 different ways of hitting my G. I fire up the ol' pornhub, take her out of the box and get her buzzing and then I notice. No headphone jack?

It's called a headphone jill when it's on a vibrator.

# ? Sep 10, 2016 20:01

Doghouse: I was playing Harvest Moon 64 with this kid who lived on my street and my cows were not doing well and I got so raged up and frustrated that my eyes welled up with tears and my friend was like are you crying dude. Are you crying because of the cows. I didn't understand the feeding mechanic.

My name is Jack, Headphone Jack.

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:13

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

the invisible hand of the market kept getting tangled up in the headphone leads. there was nothing we could do

~sig~

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:18

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

i heard if you hold your ear up to a new iphone where the headphone jack used to be, you can hear the sea

~sig~

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:23

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Heartbroken 2Twice posted:

i heard if you hold your ear up to a new iphone where the headphone jack used to be, you can hear the sea

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:25

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

who needs an iphone anyway.... i already have seven or eight things i cannot insert headphones into

~sig~

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:26

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

*observing the majestic sweep of the Atlantic ocean tinted with the waning efflorescence of a September sunset* Beautiful... But where do I plug in my headphones?

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:28

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Waiter, Waiter, there's no headphone jack in my soup!

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:29

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

misty mountaintop posted:

*observing the majestic sweep of the Atlantic ocean tinted with the waning efflorescence of a September sunset* Beautiful... But where do I plug in my headphones?

misty mountaintop posted:

Waiter, Waiter, there's no headphone jack in my soup!

~sig~

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:31

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

if a tree falls in the forest and my iphone doesn't have a headphone jack, how am i supposed to blog about it?

~sig~

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:34

free Trapt CD: *~~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~~*

only early noughties kids will remember these 5 tangible feelings
1. the satisfying 'click' of inserting a plug into a headphone jack
2. opening a door manually, with a key, instead of a swipe card or just walking through a force field. "i'm the one opening this door - it's ME!"
3. left, right, left right: putting your feet on the ground. those were the days
4. what WAS that in my mouth? oh, that's right. we get all our nutrients once a day in a pill now but we used to chew food, sometimes.
5. the nourishing embrace of another human

~sig~

# ? Sep 11, 2016 14:50

I Was The Fury: Always stop to smell the flowers, just in case they're weeds

Apple has revolutionized the market by making wireless headphones the standard for their device. Not to be outdone, Microsoft announced that their next surface tablet would standardize headphoneless wires for the market. They promise you'll never get a device ntirely free from all of its cable constraints again.

# ? Sep 11, 2016 15:07

FluffieDuckie

symbolic posted:

introducing: the headphone jack! phone sold separately.

Heartbroken 2Twice posted:

who needs an iphone anyway.... i already have seven or eight things i cannot insert headphones into

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Sep 11, 2016 16:40

poverty goat

Fortune favors the bold: lets make a smartphone with no screen

# ? Sep 11, 2016 17:27

Golden Gate Bride: knife to meet you

My apple has a headphone jack but that just makes it harder to eat

# ? Sep 11, 2016 20:48

Senior Management

Our new phone will take the best dong pics no matter how hard you try to stop it. Nothing you can do, everyone on your contact list is gonna get magnificently composed shots of your dong. You cannot hide. Resistance is futile.

:jerry:

# ? Sep 11, 2016 21:43

Scaly Haylie

Vynar posted:

Our new phone will take the best dong pics no matter how hard you try to stop it. Nothing you can do, everyone on your contact list is gonna get magnificently composed shots of your dong. You cannot hide. Resistance is futile.

What if a woman uses it?

# ? Sep 11, 2016 22:42

Senior Management

Lizard Wizard posted:

What if a woman uses it?

We treat everyone equal regardless of gender and capture artistic visions of everyone's dong(s) no matter their race, gender, biological sex, creed, or quality of pog collection.

:jerry:

# ? Sep 11, 2016 22:47

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 26, 2024 02:31

Lawrence Gilchrist

Gotta get back/
Back to the past/
Lost headphone jack
(watch out)

# ? Sep 12, 2016 02:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Apple's new iPhone was a major fail. They're weak and it's time to compete

«‹›3 »