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The Protagonist
Jun 29, 2009

The average is 5.5? I thought it was 4. This is very unsettling.

Carmant posted:

I love to smoke good bud.

Dammit now I can't say I hate every post of yours I've ever read. You're alright

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Thirsty Girl
Dec 5, 2015

which goon hosed a dog

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc
I figure this is a good place to ask for advice

I have a very large penis and i suck im bed plus sometimes i cant keep ot up. What do i do

Cordon bleu
Sep 11, 2016

by Smythe
cardio

OXBALLS DOT COM
Sep 11, 2005

by FactsAreUseless
Young Orc

Is that a new pill? What color is it

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?


Mange Mite posted:

I figure this is a good place to ask for advice

I have a very large penis and i suck im bed plus sometimes i cant keep ot up. What do i do

Sounds like you've got Mange on your cock

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

im gaye posted:

which goon hosed a dog

Let the man who hasn't hosed a dog cast the first stone!

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

Dreddout posted:

Let the man who hasn't hosed a dog cast the first stone!

*throws a rock square at your dick*

glowstick party tonight
Oct 4, 2003

by zen death robot
are you sure you aren't just ugly?

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


im gaye posted:

which goon hosed a dog

God drat it dude stop lobbing these softball yo mamma jokes man gimme something I can work with

Dark Juno
Mar 10, 2013

by zen death robot
Sex is boring and not worth the effort.

Iron Prince
Aug 28, 2005
Buglord

Dark Juno posted:

Sex is boring and not worth the effort.

whats the deal with that gay sounding animation your av talks about

extra stout
Feb 24, 2005

ISILDUR's ERR

Carmant posted:

I jerk off to porn like a normal person, and I want to have sex but once it's actually happening I realize I don't actually want to be doing it. Source: I'm an Asexual.


if jerking off a bunch and getting a gross feeling after sex makes someone asexual i think about 3/4 of men are asexual now, thanks for updating that dated term for us

MiracleWhale
Jun 30, 2015


I find that if I can't say yes to the question "would I eat that rear end like groceries" then I'm better off just keeping my dick in my pants

Dark Juno
Mar 10, 2013

by zen death robot

Iron Prince posted:

whats the deal with that gay sounding animation your av talks about

Well I bought Star Wars: The Old Republic because it had a cool ability animation where you fire a rocket from a rocket launcher mounted on your back. But then Bioware changed the animation because a bunch of stupid kids whinged that it looked like you were making GBS threads your pants. The game became unplayable after that.

dookifex_maximus
Aug 10, 2016

by zen death robot
im trans asexual

dookifex_maximus
Aug 10, 2016

by zen death robot
not, like, by my own fault. nobody wants to gently caress me

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed
I have an unironic "ace" friend god lover her but if she doesn't shut up about it. Then dates people who aren't and basically verbally assaults them for not getting it. I think she's a little autistic. anyway that's my story thanks for reading friends

max4me
Jun 15, 2003

by FactsAreUseless

Toriori posted:

I have an unironic "ace" friend god lover her but if she doesn't shut up about it. Then dates people who aren't and basically verbally assaults them for not getting it. I think she's a little autistic. anyway that's my story thanks for reading friends

So wait if she is ace and not incel why does she even date? thats like more serious than chill.

I would understand the idea that she just wants to be friends but dating kinda includes romance which leads to sex.

Is she a big person?


Also I am now like asexual I got run over by a hummer last year and when I try to have sex it reminds me that I am like 20% cripple I then feel like less of a man, so now I just dont have sex.


.....Some nights when I read GBS I stare at the rifle in the corner. Thinking about the revolver with one bullet up in the room up stairs by the window....but stairs are a cripples natural enemy....So I go back to reading GBS.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

max4me posted:

So wait if she is ace and not incel why does she even date? thats like more serious than chill.

I would understand the idea that she just wants to be friends but dating kinda includes romance which leads to sex.

Is she a big person?


Also I am now like asexual I got run over by a hummer last year and when I try to have sex it reminds me that I am like 20% cripple I then feel like less of a man, so now I just dont have sex.


.....Some nights when I read GBS I stare at the rifle in the corner. Thinking about the revolver with one bullet up in the room up stairs by the window....but stairs are a cripples natural enemy....So I go back to reading GBS.

she's an aromantic asexual and truthfully I don't think she gets that it's going to be nigh impossible to date someone who isn't and be monogamous but she also gets real mad if we talk about sex stuff because she says it's like we are talking down to her. but no she is not a big person .

Dicky mouse
Apr 11, 2008

"No No Not like that....Thats just silly"

max4me posted:

So wait if she is ace and not incel why does she even date? thats like more serious than chill.

.....Some nights when I read GBS I stare at the rifle in the corner. Thinking about the revolver with one bullet up in the room up stairs by the window....but stairs are a cripples natural enemy....So I go back to reading GBS.

Jesus I hate that I know what those words mean. I guess you could get a ace making a incel.

Also are you saying you have stairs in your house and they protect you from sucide?

Is there like a reverse pusher bot as well?


Toriori posted:

she's an aromantic asexual and truthfully I don't think she gets that it's going to be nigh impossible to date someone who isn't and be monogamous but she also gets real mad if we talk about sex stuff because she says it's like we are talking down to her. but no she is not a big person .

Doesnt aromantic mean not romantic?

wait wait wait

Your saying she wants a boyfriend who isnt going to have sex with and expects them to be a sexless monogamous relationship

Did your friend date shmorky?

Or is she just in a hurry to be in the later stages of a loveless marriage?


Someone get her an account she would fit in here.

54 40 or fuck
Jan 4, 2012

No Yanda's allowed

Dicky mouse posted:

Jesus I hate that I know what those words mean. I guess you could get a ace making a incel.

Also are you saying you have stairs in your house and they protect you from sucide?

Is there like a reverse pusher bot as well?


Doesnt aromantic mean not romantic?

wait wait wait

Your saying she wants a boyfriend who isnt going to have sex with and expects them to be a sexless monogamous relationship

Did your friend date shmorky?

Or is she just in a hurry to be in the later stages of a loveless marriage?


Someone get her an account she would fit in here.

Like I said, love the girl and she's a great friend but I'll be darned if there aren't a multitude of rules about her asexuality that are very particular. She got real mad at her last boyfriend for not proudly announcing to his family that she was ace at a family dinner for example.

I like to acknowledge asexuality because I definitely think it's a thing but there like..mso much to it? You can still have sex and be ace, for example.

green chicken feet
Nov 5, 2015

spray-paint the vegetables
dog food stalls
with the beefcake pantyhose
Grimey Drawer

Carmant posted:

Ive had sex twice this week and I think thats enough for me to determine that I'm Asexual, although I might try to have sex with a really attractive girl instead of an average one and see if that changes anything. Back to the original point.. I didn;t enjoy it at all

Maybe try laying off the porn for a while and see if your sex drive builds back up to where having sex with a woman irl is more exciting. Might be a bit early to call it quits before trying that. Or maybe, as you suggested, you weren't really into the girls you were with recently.

Mahnarch
Jan 7, 2008

Landing?
Do, or Do Not.
There is no 'Try'.
Is this a bait thread where you try to get us anonymous asexual goons out of the closet - and then we they clean the closet because we they aren't spending every second of the day thinking about getting 'nugs', or whatever it is the kids call it these days?

You're not going to trick us them. :colbert:

Mc Do Well
Aug 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocsToPN3JnQ

This civilization is reaching its end point and no one should bow to some naturalistic pressure to reproduce 'for God and Country'. There is already one world government and a system of eugenics in place - the 'Archons' know the value of false idols like currency and flags. Give to Caesar what is Caesar's - Give to God what is God's.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Carmant posted:

Just found out I'm asexual

You're not asexual just because you can't get laid.

Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?


I am a god damned sexual pachycephalosaurus, and I'm here to say:

Jack Trades posted:

You're not asexual just because you can't get laid.

Cordon bleu
Sep 11, 2016

by Smythe

Jack Trades posted:

You're not asexual just because you can't get laid.

Having sexual and emotional requirements be met for sex to happen also doesn't make you an incel.

Riot Bimbo
Dec 28, 2006


If I didn't have nuts i bet i wouldnt even jack off

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Cordon bleu posted:

Having sexual and emotional requirements be met for sex to happen also doesn't make you an incel.

A setback of the heart is interdependant on the relatedness of sex, subcultures, and emotions. Insignificance in the interrelatedness of incel.

Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?


"Hookup culture" is basically bullshit anyway, actually more and more young people are sort of indifferent towards sex. I suspect it's a global unconscious reaction towards overpopulation.

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

The Tao Jones posted:

"Hookup culture" is basically bullshit anyway, actually more and more young people are sort of indifferent towards sex. I suspect it's a global unconscious reaction towards overpopulation.

Anime and MLP are clearly at fault here.

Cordon bleu
Sep 11, 2016

by Smythe

Jack Trades posted:

A setback of the heart is interdependant on the relatedness of sex, subcultures, and emotions. Insignificance in the interrelatedness of incel.

I dont know man, some people actually shut down their sex drives when emotional needs arent met. It isn't related to being an incel but coincidentally e-culture loves to point out anything out of "the norm" teh irony.

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

Cordon bleu posted:

I dont know man, some people actually shut down their sex drives when emotional needs arent met. It isn't related to being an incel but coincidentally e-culture loves to point out anything out of "the norm" teh irony.

Sex is born in the gap where joy can no longer afford to live with desire of the present time seems to demand an ennobling of our bodies if we are going to survive. You may be ruled by bondage without realizing it.

Guy Goodbody
Aug 31, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

Cordon bleu posted:

I dont know man, some people actually shut down their sex drives when emotional needs arent met. It isn't related to being an incel but coincidentally e-culture loves to point out anything out of "the norm" teh irony.

I shut down my sex needs when I'm really tired.

Cordon bleu
Sep 11, 2016

by Smythe

Jack Trades posted:

Sex is born in the gap where joy can no longer afford to live with desire of the present time seems to demand an ennobling of our bodies if we are going to survive. You may be ruled by bondage without realizing it.

This is definitely true but sometimes when people don't bust a nut after a whole night of work they will go insane with lust... especially on ovulation days, till they premature ejaculate of course. It's too bad mediators aren't around to fix all the assholes that are hopped up on PUA culture and believe not cuddling or calling is a cool thing to do (while bragging to their friends all coked out no less).

My personal rule for emotions and sex is that if they didn't take you out for breakfast after your hookup they probably deserved to be upset.

Cosmik Slop
Oct 9, 2007

What's a hole doing in my TARDIS?


Jack Trades posted:

Anime and MLP are clearly at fault here.

Japan in particular is basically throwing money and vacations at their youths and shouting "JUST gently caress ALREADY, poo poo! IT'S LIKE THE *ONE* THING THAT ANY HUMAN CAN MANAGE! WE'RE loving VANISHING HERE!" which gets a shrug and a other viewing of Zoom Zoom Dekku Laser Fusion Alchemist Redux.

Cordon bleu
Sep 11, 2016

by Smythe

The Tao Jones posted:

Japan in particular is basically throwing money and vacations at their youths and shouting "JUST gently caress ALREADY, poo poo! IT'S LIKE THE *ONE* THING THAT ANY HUMAN CAN MANAGE! WE'RE loving VANISHING HERE!" which gets a shrug and a other viewing of Zoom Zoom Dekku Laser Fusion Alchemist Redux.

~ shoutouts 2 all the herbivorous ~

Jack Trades
Nov 30, 2010

The Tao Jones posted:

Japan in particular is basically throwing money and vacations at their youths and shouting "JUST gently caress ALREADY, poo poo! IT'S LIKE THE *ONE* THING THAT ANY HUMAN CAN MANAGE! WE'RE loving VANISHING HERE!" which gets a shrug and a other viewing of Zoom Zoom Dekku Laser Fusion Alchemist Redux.

It's pretty understandable tbh.
Someone would have to throw A LOT of money for me to decide to waste spend 18 years of my life raising yet another degenerate like me.

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Cordon bleu
Sep 11, 2016

by Smythe
Man the power of insemination and ovulation cycle knows no bounds or limits.

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