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girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Time over as of 30 minutes ago, but I didn't say anything, so I'll allow it.

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girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Another good contest. Honestly, I'm glad my last couple ideas have gone well, there was a while there where I wasn't doing so hot on the 'make contests' part. For how to place this one, I ended up spending a lot of time thinking about how I would actually feel sitting across from this card and seeing it get played.

Honorable Mentions
Rock, The Second Son of Light by itsmekidney
:rock: And you'll soon see, I come for vengeance, for the First Son of Light :rock:

Also provides an interesting puzzle, but it isn't quite blue. I know Protoman is the red one, but this is absolutely a red effect. Or a red/blue multicolor? I don't know. Point being, "giant dude with weird drawbacks" hasn't been blue's thing for a couple decades.

Reef Leviathan by desktop_metaphor
Another reference! The leviathan turducken doesn't make much sense in a mechanics-as-narrative way, which is crucial for understanding weird cards. This needs a silver-border and different flavor.


Phantom Train by itsmekidney and Naglfar, the Doomship by President Ark
Two slightly different interpretations of the same idea. Of the two, I think I like Phantom Train a bit more, but ask me again in ten minutes and I'll probably change my answer.

The Praetors by AJ_Impy
As much as I would want to love this card, and as great as the flavor and art are, if it got made, it would immediately and permanently earn itself a spot as a serious threat in Show and Tell, Tron, and EDH.

Gigantasaurus-Powered Car by desktop_metaphor
This gave me a chuckle, and it's interesting enough mechanically to be more than just a 'funny card art' joke.

Podium
Third Place
Illulia, the Extinguisher by Lack of Bear
This was actually in first for a while. 20/0 is an incredible statline and has a lot of wow factor. It's a puzzle, trying to work out how to get this Then, unfortunately, I remembered that Fling exists. This would, without a doubt, end up as the centerpiece of a combo deck that drops it with a +1/+1 counter (Savage Summoning, most likely) and then Flings it, which would be ridiculous jank right up until someone figured out how to make it not jank, at which point it would become playable in Vintage.

Second Place
Overgrown Oracle by Tulul
Big guys can end up sitting in your hand for a long, long time. This one having a Forecast effect gives it something to do while you wait. I like how the more cards you have, the more expensive its repeatable draw becomes. That's a nice way to deal with that issue and to encourage playing it with mana ramp. Sadly, all that said, 12 CMC, in two colors, is still absurd. It's too pricy to ever see play in real magic, and it being blue and granting card draw encourages mother-may-I in kitchen table, which is Objectively The Worst.

First Place
Prideful Dragon by Mikl
The flavor here is just so choice. It won't even let you own lands. Why do you need lands? Are you going to cast a spell? Do you think it can't do it by itself? It being non-legendary is interesting, too. Plays into a kind of paper-tiger thing it's got going on, which actually almost makes the 'dies to Doom Blade' thing work for it, rather than against it. Like almost every other card entered, it does have a factor of being potentially abuseable, but 'Black Lotus' isn't much of an issue when playing casually, so the most obvious ways of doing so are a bit out of reach of the average kitchen table. Even with that happening, however, you still have to dance around its requirements, and 15/15 means that even if you drop it and haste it or fling it in the same turn, they've still got 5 life left to make a comeback, and you've got nothing but nothing to show for it. And that's assuming you actually get it in your opening hand and don't have to figure out how to make it to finally drawing one with no land you can't somehow immediately blow up. I like puzzles like that. On the surface, this really seemed like just another pretty neat Mikl Timmy card, but it's really wormed its way into my head in the perfect Johnny/Timmy sweetspot where most of my favorite decks I build end up.


Congratulations, Mikl!

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 09:28 on Jun 17, 2019

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
I won?

Holy crap, I won!

:dance:

Alright, I'm at work right now and I didn't have a theme ready. I'll have something up by this evening (EU time) :)

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
Alright, the theme for this week is...


:siren: Let's Make Some Noise! :siren:

Your task is simple: make a card that is music-themed.

Musicians, musical instruments, big bands, death metal. It's all good, as long as it has to do with music.

Also allowed: a card that is not music-themed per se, but is inspired by a song. In this case, please post a link to the song itself (Youtube videos are fine) and/or the lyrics (with translation if they weren't originally in English), and say what part of the song inspired the card.

I'll judge this context on the morning of Tuesday, June 25th (or my lunch break at the latest), so you have until midnight between June 24th and June 25th, CEST to submit your entries.

The Gorp
Jan 7, 2013

My style is impetuous,
My defenses are impregnable
My arms are tired


It wasn't the direct inspiration but hey, if we're encouraged to post links...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QpDVeI8kgik

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:
does this count



found the art here: http://monstersvault.com/vaults/siren-mythology/

e: additional submission https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3789848&pagenumber=112&perpage=40#post496090085

e: another https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3789848&pagenumber=112#post496141136

President Ark fucked around with this message at 03:43 on Jun 23, 2019

Lack of Bear
Jun 12, 2007

he couldn't bear it




https://youtu.be/hHW1oY26kxQ

Jade Rider
May 11, 2007

All the pages have been censored except for "heck," and she misread that one.


Eeevil
Oct 28, 2010

Well obviously he didn't see it, or he'd be wearing a hardhat :colbert:

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?


Edit: I don't know why it has the legendary frame but I'm keeping it.

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 05:29 on Jun 18, 2019

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker


Spreadsheet updated.

Eeevil
Oct 28, 2010

Well obviously he didn't see it, or he'd be wearing a hardhat :colbert:
Two ideas from this art I had

e: made a change to sonata so multiples work better.

Eeevil fucked around with this message at 11:00 on Jun 18, 2019

Kuiperdolin
Sep 5, 2011

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

For Conspiracy 3 :

TheCog
Jul 30, 2012

I AM ZEPA AND I CLAIM THESE LANDS BY RIGHT OF CONQUEST
Two versions of the same card



AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker
You've all been bringing the hottest new choons, let's get some folks on the dance floor.



vvv Fixed.

AJ_Impy fucked around with this message at 11:24 on Jun 19, 2019

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

AJ_Impy posted:

You've all been bringing the hottest new choons, let's get some folks on the dance floor.



hellbent is an ability word so it does require "as long as you have no cards in hand" to be specified because it has no actual rules meaning

Elyv
Jun 14, 2013





:v:

The Gorp
Jan 7, 2013

My style is impetuous,
My defenses are impregnable
My arms are tired
You want song references? You got song references! Each song only lasts entirely too long!



Songs:
King Crimson - Moonchild https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NjdfOoPK9c
Genesis - White Mountain https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3yckgRec_o
Emerson Lake and Palmer - Karn Evil 9 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLS0Med0s6E

The Gorp fucked around with this message at 05:06 on Jun 20, 2019

Lack of Bear
Jun 12, 2007

he couldn't bear it




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g-4-gLlF0uw



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b3GetpSdQoQ



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpGA0azFdCs

Only 17 characters
Feb 23, 2014

19 dollars and a toothbrush.

Kuiperdolin posted:

For Conspiracy 3 :



This is so very good.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Well, that's going on the favorites.

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

hilariously, that ability is actually relevant sometimes and i could see it being printed in the right set as a limited archetype enabler

E:

quote:

Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm going off the rails on a



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vy1V5LHXWbg

President Ark fucked around with this message at 02:22 on Jun 21, 2019

Lack of Bear
Jun 12, 2007

he couldn't bear it


I was thinking that the Headbanger would pair nicely with some Thrash


Edit: I had an idea that I couldn't get out of my head

Lack of Bear fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Jun 21, 2019

TheChirurgeon
Aug 7, 2002

Remember how good you are
Taco Defender

TheChirurgeon fucked around with this message at 03:11 on Jun 23, 2019

Lack of Bear
Jun 12, 2007

he couldn't bear it


Eeevil
Oct 28, 2010

Well obviously he didn't see it, or he'd be wearing a hardhat :colbert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0xrSH0G8kBo&t=87s


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T3J426dcGC0


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oY9m2sHQwLs

Eeevil fucked around with this message at 03:22 on Jun 22, 2019

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
Chiming in to say I love all submissions so far! There are some that don't quite fit what I had in mind as a theme, but they're within the rules I've specified so I'll allow them.

(Also there are several low hanging fruits I'm surprised no one has gone for :v: but I'm not going to tell you what they are!)

Tulul
Oct 23, 2013

THAT SOUND WILL FOLLOW ME TO HELL.

Tulul fucked around with this message at 00:11 on Jun 23, 2019

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Mikl posted:

(Also there are several low hanging fruits I'm surprised no one has gone for :v: but I'm not going to tell you what they are!)

Elyv
Jun 14, 2013




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXKlJuO07eM

And in possibly the easiest translation of song name to card,

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTt1vk9nM9c

itsmekidney
May 6, 2019

Eeevil
Oct 28, 2010

Well obviously he didn't see it, or he'd be wearing a hardhat :colbert:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NP-RsRGzVo

Lack of Bear
Jun 12, 2007

he couldn't bear it




https://youtu.be/O-YHU6BwPR0

President Ark
May 16, 2010

:iiam:

Bad Horse, Bad Horse
Bad Horse, Bad Horse
He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin!
He got the application that you just sent in
It needs evaluation, so let the games begin
A heinous crime, a show of force
(a murder would be nice of course)
Bad Horse, Bad Horse
Bad Horse, he’s bad
The evil league of evil is watching so beware
The grade that you receive’ll be your last, we swear
So make the bad horse gleeful, or he’ll make you his mare
You’re saddled up; there’s no recourse
It’s “hi-ho, silver!”
Signed: Bad Horse.


e: this should probably be silver-bordered but i forgot to save the raw file and i'm lazy so V:v:V

President Ark fucked around with this message at 03:50 on Jun 23, 2019

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Well, "search your library for a card named Murder" made me laugh hard enough that my roommate looked at me funny.

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Jun 23, 2019

The Gorp
Jan 7, 2013

My style is impetuous,
My defenses are impregnable
My arms are tired


I'm sorry.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007

SWORD OF SMATTAS. CAN YOU NOT HEAR A WORLD CRY OUT FOR JUSTICE? WHEN WILL YOU DELIVER IT?
Yam Slacker


One for the Sabaton fans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcYhYO02f98

Mikl
Nov 8, 2009

Vote shit sandwich or the shit sandwich gets it!
:siren: Official 24 hours warning! :siren:

(Yeah I know I said "midnight" and it's now past 8 AM, but I'll likely close the contest when I'm ready to judge it so you get a little bit extra time.)

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girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CENF14Iloxw

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 12:31 on Jun 24, 2019

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