I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER: Adventures in dealing with sports parents

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER: Adventures in dealing with sports parents

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

3-4 years ago the wife of a cousin of mine spent a summer coaching U12 girls' basketball because her oldest daughter was on the team. One of the parents didn't like the fact that she was more excited/animated than the previous coach, and his way to bring that up? Corner her in the hallway after a game, tell her that he didn't like her, punch her in the face twice, and then try to walk away while she's bleeding on the floor.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 21:07

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 13:44

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Marching band parents really are the worst.

Back when I was....a sophomore???...in high school, my local school district decided that in order to cut spending students were to be limited to filling six classes/periods each day instead being able to take the option to fill their Open/Study Hall period. Marching band parents were furious because this limited their kids to daily band practice plus five classes. Fast forward a few months, and the school board carved out an exception for the marching band kids, and those kids only.

How did this happen? Well, loads of marching band parents showed up to the school board meetings and successfully argued that their kids deserved to have an exception carved out for them because by virtue of the fact that they're in marching band they're automatically more talented and special than the rest of the godforsaken plebs that they're stuck having to share a school with.

YeahTubaMike posted:

A shiver went down my spine when I read this. Ugh.

Even though I had to deal with crazy band parents for four years of high school, I'm REALLY glad I never got into hockey (which I wanted to) after reading this thread.

Hockey parents are a close second.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 22:21

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

DJExile posted:

Rich rear end white parents combined with a sport where they only have to watch their own kid, and in most younger leagues there are no umpires so it's down to the players themselves to call in/out.

It doesn't even come down to rich white parents. Parents in individual sports are notoriously clingy and helicopter-y. Of course, youth coaches in those sports tend to be the same way.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 22:38

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

bewbies posted:

I played high level hockey all through my formative years and it was never really that bad. There were incidents etc but in general parents just wanted to drink beer and find ways to get to a TV to see whatever football game was on. This was a while ago, though. Soccer was way worse in that regard, at least for me.

Here's how bad sports parents are now...

I worked at a specific local high school for eight years (2006 to 2014) doing classroom observation. I've known their Athletics & Activities Director since I was a kid (via my dad), so I used to talk with him regularly. He said in one conversation that during peak athletics season he'll get close to 90 e-mails a day from parents. Most of them are apparently so stupid and annoying (lack of playing time, I don't like the coach, make my kid eligible, etc) that he has five pre-typed responses that he copy/pastes over from WordPad in order to minimize the amount of time he has to spend dealing with stupid horseshit.

Electronic communication has made sports parents infinitely worse than they were 20-30 years ago, because now they can bombard coaches about perceived slights against their kids any time of day.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 23:14 on Sep 12, 2016

# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 23:02

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

Levitate posted:

Haha that reminds me of when I briefly played flag football back when I was like, I dunno, 8 or something. Same type of thing, coach just really wanted to win even though our team was bad so he just benched everyone except the best players. I never played at all during a game, probably just quit after a game or two.

This is why I like how my local youth baseball org set up games for kids 10 and under when I played. By rule, every player had to be in the field for at least two out of six innings or else the offending team forfeited. Coaches literally had to chart it out as proof, too.

Crazy Ted fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Sep 12, 2016

# ¿ Sep 12, 2016 23:54

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# ¿ Apr 25, 2024 13:44

Crazy Ted: Jul 29, 2003

JonathonSpectre posted:

So I do play-by-play for (mostly beyond horrendous) middle-school football games. A few years ago, we had this kid on our team who was pretty fast but had the Mother-loving Hands of Stone. Like, you could toss it to him underhand from 5 yards away and he'd bat the fucker around for 30 seconds blinking really quickly and then drop it Mother-loving Hands of Stone. He gets his number called about 2-3x a game, almost always the first one for a deep pass (which he drops) and then another 1-2 behind the line toss-pitch-type poo poo.

This dude's mom hangs out in front of the pressbox filming the entirety of every game. When he's on the sideline, she films him on the loving sideline. Boy, I bet THAT is some scintillating video! There he is, sitting.

So we're on game 4 of the season and so far the dude's statline is like 0/5 passes, he's just terrible. It's the end of the game and we're losing by 21 and our coach decides what the gently caress let's air it out. Ball goes up, DB makes a good play and hits the ball but instead of knocking it down he just knocks it straight up, spinning end over end, directly above Hands of Stone.

And he caught it! Understand, the ball fell directly down, straight down, on top of him. He did not have to move or do anything at all except hold his hands out. So he caught it! And then, because he was legit fast, he tore rear end down the sideline and scored! Yeah! Finally! The motherfucker caught the ball!

His mother looks through the pressbox window at me with this crazy zealous look in her eyes and says, "His dad says he's going to be as good as Jerry Rice. But after seeing something like that? You and I know the truth: he's already better than Jerry Rice."

The high school I worked at had a parent who said their 5'3" Freshman JV point guard didn't need to go to classes because once he hit his growth spurt he'd be a McDonald's All-American and make a hundred million dollars playing in the NBA.

I mean, it's one thing when the kid says he's too good to give a poo poo about classes but when his parents say he's too good to give a poo poo about classes it's just :stare:

# ¿ Sep 13, 2016 00:04

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > I WANT TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER: Adventures in dealing with sports parents