weekly font posted:

I played tennis through high school and never experienced any issue with parents because, mostly, no one even showed up for our games. The more annoying thing were the teams who were very blatantly cheating because you called your own outs. You could always ask for the coaches to ump your matches if it got too egregious and it was always only one or two guys so there'd be coverage. Even after four years I can only remember one time that I wanted to smash a racket because of it.

My only real experience with sports parents was quite nice actually. I was in elementary school and my parents insisted on signing me up for Little League even though I had no interest in baseball. I was born in one of those weird months where I probably should have been in the grade lower but I wasn't so I was smaller than everyone else and thus was sorted into the league above tee-ball even though I most certainly should not have been. We were all young enough that coaches pitched so that everyone could hit the ball at some point during the game and you couldn't strike out. This was in like 1991 so it's weird to me that assholes are more vocal about participation trophy bullshit because it's been like that forever for youngins.

Anyway, I was garbage and had no baseball experience and was pint sized. My first time at bat I absolutely could not hit the limp meatballs dribbling over the plate. After a dozen plus pitches a very kind parent talked to the coach and came out on the field to hold the baseball on top of a beer bottle over the plate as a makeshift tee so I could get a hit slash we could get on with it. Pretty cool of him considering there was a far greater likelihood I would smash his and and not the ball. But I dinked it and got on a base and when the next kid got a hit I made sure to slide into home plate despite not needing to because it looked like fun. Don't think my parents forced me to go back for another game.

Now I teach at a rich kid high school (getting out education this year hopefully cause woof) and my friend coaches the volleyball teams and there are some real horror stories there. The best one, however, has to be that there was a tournament taking place at the same time a middle school dance competition was going on. Her husband is the assistant coach and he was out in the hallway fixing an issue with the camera they use for game film. A few minutes later a parent barges into the gym with two cops and points him out screaming, "THERE'S THE PERVERT VIDEOTAPING OUR DAUGHTERS."