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Top Hats Monthly
Jun 22, 2011


People are people so why should it be, that you and I should get along so awfully blink blink recall STOP IT YOU POSH LITTLE SHIT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyT3UXLdO4E, no context needed.

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Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT

hifi posted:

easy: name 1 player on the titans
medium: name 2
hard: name 3
insane: name 4

Derrick Henry
DeMarco Murray
Marcus Mariota
Jack Conklin
Taylor Lewan, A Michigan Man who threatened a rape victim with more rape.

JonathonSpectre
Jul 23, 2003

I replaced the Shermatar and text with this because I don't wanna see racial slurs every time you post what the fuck

Soiled Meat
2000 BCS National Championship game.

FSU came in averaging something like 140,000 yards of offense per game. Offensive coordinator Mark Richt had just been hired by UGA as their coach, and a whole hell of a lot of Seminole fans basically begged Bobby Bowden to can him and get someone whose entire focus would be on the NC game. Nope! LOYALTY! He got us here! Christ.

About 30 seconds before kickoff our #1 WR and best offensive player Snoop Minnis got dropped because he's too loving stupid to maintain a C average. Many FSU fans said, "Bah! So what our best receiver got suspended, we'll just reload!"

Mark Richt probably didn't even know Snoop was suspended since he spent .0000003 seconds on gameplanning OU and the rest of his time preparing for the worst best 15 years in UGA history.

FSU lost 13-2 and that 2 was an intentional safety by OU.

It's the worst thing I've ever seen on television, and I saw the miniseries Shoah. It was like the team I watched all year had been lobotomized. OU had a great D that year but our O also poo poo the bed so hard it registered on seismographs in Japan. Later Mark Richt admitted that yep, I was focused on UGA and didn't really pay attention to the NC game!

IMO this was the beginning of the end for Bobby Bowden. If he'd fired Richt he could have literally picked any OC in the country and had them on campus in no time, and then we might have actually won the loving game instead of horrendously embarrassing ourselves on national TV. The next year was the first year of the failed Jeff Bowden experiment, where Bobby Bowden decided paying his son was more important than winning loving football games.

I've seen FSU lose a lot of times when we should have won (and won a lot of times we should have lost) but that one will always, always, be the worst loving game I've ever seen.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

JonathonSpectre posted:

2000 BCS National Championship game.

FSU came in averaging something like 140,000 yards of offense per game. Offensive coordinator Mark Richt had just been hired by UGA as their coach, and a whole hell of a lot of Seminole fans basically begged Bobby Bowden to can him and get someone whose entire focus would be on the NC game. Nope! LOYALTY! He got us here! Christ.

About 30 seconds before kickoff our #1 WR and best offensive player Snoop Minnis got dropped because he's too loving stupid to maintain a C average. Many FSU fans said, "Bah! So what our best receiver got suspended, we'll just reload!"

Mark Richt probably didn't even know Snoop was suspended since he spent .0000003 seconds on gameplanning OU and the rest of his time preparing for the worst best 15 years in UGA history.

FSU lost 13-2 and that 2 was an intentional safety by OU.

It's the worst thing I've ever seen on television, and I saw the miniseries Shoah. It was like the team I watched all year had been lobotomized. OU had a great D that year but our O also poo poo the bed so hard it registered on seismographs in Japan. Later Mark Richt admitted that yep, I was focused on UGA and didn't really pay attention to the NC game!

IMO this was the beginning of the end for Bobby Bowden. If he'd fired Richt he could have literally picked any OC in the country and had them on campus in no time, and then we might have actually won the loving game instead of horrendously embarrassing ourselves on national TV. The next year was the first year of the failed Jeff Bowden experiment, where Bobby Bowden decided paying his son was more important than winning loving football games.

I've seen FSU lose a lot of times when we should have won (and won a lot of times we should have lost) but that one will always, always, be the worst loving game I've ever seen.

FSU losing is cool and good especially if it ends in a dumb score like 13-2

Blind Pineapple
Oct 27, 2010

For The Perfect Fruit 'n' Kaman

1 part gin
1 part pomegranate syrup
Fill with pineapple juice
Serve over crushed ice

College Slice
All of the Tyler Palko era Chiefs games were real bad, but this one where he was opposed by Caleb Hanie had to be the worst.

The lone TD was a hail mary that should've been intercepted but a Bears defender knocked it out of Urlacher's hands and right to Dexter McCluster instead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGJIQgMKim0

Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

hifi posted:

the cardinals d was it's best in 2011 or so. sorry the steelers fans are having a fit about a slightly vague sentence

steelers fans?

TheAlmightyFrog
Oct 7, 2007

squeeeak
As a Kentucky fan, how can you choose only one? The Bluegrass Miracle hurts, but at least we had a chance in that one. There was a 63-5 loss to Florida somewhere in there, a really bad loss at LSU where I don't think we scored and they scored a bazillion or so, numerous others but those stand out. Worst game though might be the 40-0 loss to Vanderbilt at home. Only positive in that one was it ended the failed Joker head coaching experiment.

A little more recently is 4 of the last 5 games. A loss at Vandy where we got a total of 3 points out of two first and goals at the 1 yard line, blowing a 24-7 halftime lead against Louisville (either of which would have sent us to a bowl with wins), blowing a 25 point lead to Southern Miss at home in the season opener, and the egg we laid at Florida last week. What makes those so bad is we were supposed to be so much better, but no matter how much talent we have we can't get past the name on the front of the jersey.

vols bitch posted:

edit: Also in 2011 the Tennessee Volunteers lost to a Kentucky team that had both quarterbacks hurt. They put a senior WR in at QB who went like 4/6 for 15 yards passing. They lost 10-7 to a team without a quarterback. gently caress you Derek Dooley.

This game was the best.

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Blind Pineapple posted:

All of the Tyler Palko era Chiefs games were real bad, but this one where he was opposed by Caleb Hanie had to be the worst.

The lone TD was a hail mary that should've been intercepted but a Bears defender knocked it out of Urlacher's hands and right to Dexter McCluster instead. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HGJIQgMKim0

What I remember most about this game other than the hail mary (we should note it took every bit of Tyler Palko's arm to throw a 38 yard hail mary btw) is the one drive the Bears were finally putting something together. After driving a good 30 yards or so--all through the air--Hanie hits Roy Williams (remember him?) in stride for what should have been a nice 20 yard gain or so. There were no Chiefs in front of him for 12-15 yards. Williams proceeds to bobble the ball endlessly and then hands it to Jon McGraw for an interception.

Grittybeard fucked around with this message at 05:21 on Sep 15, 2016

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

hifi posted:

the cardinals d was it's best in 2011 or so. sorry the steelers fans are having a fit about a slightly vague sentence

the Cardinal's defense in 2011 was ranked 17th in points allowed and 18th in yards. in 2012 it was ranked 17th and 12th. are you thinking 2013, when it was ranked 7th and 6th respectively?

Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

FeedingHam2Cats posted:

the Cardinal's defense in 2011 was ranked 17th in points allowed and 18th in yards. in 2012 it was ranked 17th and 12th. are you thinking 2013, when it was ranked 7th and 6th respectively?

he called us steelers fans tho

hifi
Jul 25, 2012

points and yards don't really matter when ryan lindley goes 3 and out every drive. they were ranked #2 in pass d by dvoa in 2012, which was the year i was thinking of. 2013 was bolstered by a really good run d and the offense giving the d a breather

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

Ghost Dog posted:

he called us steelers fans tho


i was too blinded by fury to even acknowledge his slight

Mr. McGibblets
Sep 17, 2015

by Deplorable exmarx
Dec. 17, 2000; 49ers 17, Bears 0

This game essentially ended McNown’s tenure in Chicago and ultimately the NFL. McNown completed 9-for-19 passes for 73 yards and one interception. If that doesn’t sound so bad, get this: the Bears never crossed the 50-yard line. So much hope was put in McNown after he was drafted so high in 1999 while the Bears passed up Donovan McNabb.

http://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/200012170sfo.htm

Can we turn this into a "worst game of all time tournament?"

Mr. McGibblets fucked around with this message at 05:59 on Sep 15, 2016

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
The Texas/USC Rose Bowl

Pimpcasso
Mar 13, 2002

VOLS BITCH
Go home Ross you're drunk

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious
Mizzou-Vandy 2015. 10-3 loss for Missouri. http://www.sports-reference.com/cfb/boxscores/2015-10-24-vanderbilt.html

The most boring and lifesucking game I've ever watched.

alpha_destroy
Mar 23, 2010

Billy Butler: Fat Guy by Day, Doubles Machine by Night

JRizzle posted:

Mizzou-Vandy 2015. 10-3 loss for Missouri. http://www.sports-reference.com/cfb/boxscores/2015-10-24-vanderbilt.html

The most boring and lifesucking game I've ever watched.

I was actually gonna go with a Mizzou win. The 9-6 (with no loving FGs hahaha) win over UCONN that ended with the worst fake I have ever seen.

Neither offense could do poo poo, both ended up under 300 yards. Mizzou only scored their touchdown because of flags I think. And at the end of the game UCONN, instead of trying a game tying field goal, faked it. To say they threw the ball into triple coverage would be a lie because their wasn't a husky there. So I guess it was infinity coverage. For real, they just kind of lobbed it to the middle of the field where it was picked and the game ended.

Awful awful terrible game.

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

Mr. McGibblets posted:

Dec. 17, 2000; 49ers 17, Bears 0

This game essentially ended McNown’s tenure in Chicago and ultimately the NFL. McNown completed 9-for-19 passes for 73 yards and one interception. If that doesn’t sound so bad, get this: the Bears never crossed the 50-yard line. So much hope was put in McNown after he was drafted so high in 1999 while the Bears passed up Donovan McNabb.

I think the only thing worse i've seen is when I played an exhibition game for my local university team and we didn't get a single first down.

I didn't come back to play again.

Content: 2002 NFL Europe game, Rhein Fire @ Frankfurt Galaxy. Rhein Fire win 3-0. It was just loving miserable to watch, nothing was happening all game. There wasn't even anything entertainingly bad, just two futile offenses banging against each other trying to luck into some kind of score.

I loved NFL Europe before the Claymores went under, but there was a big problem that a lot of NFL Europe teams had lovely pitches and lovely weather which turned games into mud fests. I would love to see it return since I think the NFL really needs some kind of non-college minor league but LOL if owners are going to spend money on one.

C-Euro
Mar 20, 2010

:science:
Soiled Meat

wa27 posted:

I was in the stands for this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyzCw6y1yYU
box score

Iowa State went up 9-7 in the 2nd quarter and the score never changed again. Nebraska turned it over eight times, with four inside the 5-yard line. All NU needed was a field goal to win and they had the best kicker in the NCAA.

The strangest thing is it felt like Nebraska was in control of the game up until the final drive. Iowa State only forced four punts on 14 possessions. Every time we would drive down to the red zone, the crowd would be begging for a field goal, only to get a fumble instead. It was the most frustrating thing ever. And still everyone was pretty confident that we'd win the game until near the end of the fourth quarter.

This is loving hilarious but I don't know how you mentally recover from this as a Nebraska fan. Which turnover was the worst? It's gotta be the one where the guy catches the ball, beats his man, and the ball just falls out of his hands at the 5, right?

WHOOPS
Nov 6, 2009

C-Euro posted:

This is loving hilarious but I don't know how you mentally recover from this as a Nebraska fan. Which turnover was the worst? It's gotta be the one where the guy catches the ball, beats his man, and the ball just falls out of his hands at the 5, right?

"Smithers, there's no way I can lose this bet... unless, of course, Nebraska... falls victim to eight separate turnovers... and are unable to score a touchdown.

Three turnovers, that's possible... six turnovers, there's an outside chance... but eight turnovers? I'd like to see that."

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

vols bitch posted:

Go home Ross you're drunk

It was really bad and I cried

the mean lunch lady
Jun 24, 2009

went mad at sea
lots were drawn
Kroenke didn't survive
he was delicious

alpha_destroy posted:

I was actually gonna go with a Mizzou win. The 9-6 (with no loving FGs hahaha) win over UCONN that ended with the worst fake I have ever seen.

Neither offense could do poo poo, both ended up under 300 yards. Mizzou only scored their touchdown because of flags I think. And at the end of the game UCONN, instead of trying a game tying field goal, faked it. To say they threw the ball into triple coverage would be a lie because their wasn't a husky there. So I guess it was infinity coverage. For real, they just kind of lobbed it to the middle of the field where it was picked and the game ended.

Awful awful terrible game.

Heck, you could've gone with the Georgia game from last year too

got any sevens
Feb 9, 2013

by Cyrano4747

Ross Angeles posted:

The Texas/USC Rose Bowl

That game was sorta entertaining but I wanted both teams to lose :shrug:

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

effectual posted:

That game was sorta entertaining but I wanted both teams to lose :shrug:

That game was super entertaining and while present me wanted both teams to lose back then I was a Texas fan for the game. ESPN's run up to that was so poisonous it made people who hated Texas love the result of that game.

Nail Rat
Dec 29, 2000

You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!!
The final game in the RCA Dome, a playoff game against the Chargers. It sucked in every way.

-The Colts were super injured that year (one time they actually could not dress 45 healthy players so they were dressing guys who couldn't play) and not a single starting receiver was playing by the second half. This was the year Freeney got his Lisfranc fracture in the 4th quarter of a blowout and the lack of pass rush really hurt in this game.
-Harrison had been "close to back" for what seemed like months, but he shouldn't have played. He foght for yards for the only time in his career instead of going down quickly, fumbled, and was taken out of the game
-Some Chargers fan and his little kid sat next to me so I couldn't use profanity or trash talk much, not that I'd have had opportunity to
-Rivers went out and the Colts still couldn't do poo poo
-Beaten by Mike Scifres
-At the end as everyone shuffled out they unfurled a giant "Thanks for the memories" thing on the field for the RCA Dome. Yeah I'd rather not remember that game, guys

The final score was 28-24 but it wasn't that close at all and it was very infuriating given how injured the team was. They may as well have forfeited.

Nail Rat fucked around with this message at 20:39 on Sep 15, 2016

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012

Grittybeard posted:

That game was super entertaining and while present me wanted both teams to lose back then I was a Texas fan for the game. ESPN's run up to that was so poisonous it made people who hated Texas love the result of that game.

VY is a goddamn national hero

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Nail Rat posted:

The final game in the RCA Dome, a playoff game against the Chargers. It sucked in every way.

-The Colts were super injured that year (one time they actually could not dress 45 healthy players so they were dressing guys who couldn't play) and not a single starting receiver was playing by the second half. This was the year Freeney got his Lisfranc fracture in the 4th quarter of a blowout and the lack of pass rush really hurt in this game.
-Harrison had been "close to back" for what seemed like months, but he shouldn't have played. He foght for yards for the only time in his career instead of going down quickly, fumbled, and was taken out of the game
-Some Chargers fan and his little kid sat next to me so I couldn't use profanity or trash talk much, not that I'd have had opportunity to
-Rivers went out and the Colts still couldn't do poo poo
-Beaten by Mike Scifres
-At the end as everyone shuffled out they unfurled a giant "Thanks for the memories" thing on the field for the RCA Dome. Yeah I'd rather not remember that game, guys



The Mike Scifres game was the next year in the playoffs

Also don't forget that Tomlinson also went out.

It was the best game ever

Probably Magic
Oct 9, 2012

Looking cute, feeling cute.

Ross Angeles posted:

It was really

good and awesome and owned.

boop the snoot
Jun 3, 2016

Metapod posted:

VY is a goddamn national hero

I had $50 on USC and was 100% okay with the result with the way the game played out. I would be happy to pay $50 every year for a game that entertaining.

Which I did for Clemson vs Bama. I put money on Clemson simply because I hate Bama, but that was one of the most entertaining national title games in recent memory. Yeah losing $75 (what I had on this one) sucks, but the game ruled.

Basically anytime I bet on the Gators in the national title game, they win. And whenever I bet on any other team, they lose but the game owns.

davecrazy
Nov 25, 2004

I'm an insufferable shitposter who does not deserve to root for such a good team. Also, this is what Matt Harvey thinks of me and my garbage posting.
2007 Vikiings/Giants where Eli threw like 5 INTs.

I was also there the night McNabb was sacked like 8 times, but that was a good game for the Giants, not so much the Eagles.

I can't think of any game off the top of my head where both teams played like poo poo.

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
The only real game that stands out to me is the game two years ago with the Giants against the Eagles in primetime where Cruz tore his knee to bits. The game was something like 27 to 0 and the only time the Giants even sniffed scoring a point was the 4th down pass when Cruz lept for an open TD and his knee tendon shattered and he was carted off bawling his eyes out. The Giants didn't even look like they wanted to try after that and the Eagles didn't seem excited either.

Game was loving depressing.

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮

Grittybeard posted:

That game was super entertaining and while present me wanted both teams to lose back then I was a Texas fan for the game. ESPN's run up to that was so poisonous it made people who hated Texas love the result of that game.

For reference: ESPN built up the 2005 Trojans as the Best Team Ever. Like, better than any other college football team in the history of the sport. They would do weekly 'would the 2005 Trojans beat this national champion?' segments and EVERY WEEK, the analysts picked USC. If you weren't watching college football at the time, imagine the SEC West was just a single team.

ur in my world now
Jun 5, 2006

Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was
Same as it ever was


Smellrose

alpha_destroy posted:

I was actually gonna go with a Mizzou win. The 9-6 (with no loving FGs hahaha) win over UCONN that ended with the worst fake I have ever seen.

Neither offense could do poo poo, both ended up under 300 yards. Mizzou only scored their touchdown because of flags I think. And at the end of the game UCONN, instead of trying a game tying field goal, faked it. To say they threw the ball into triple coverage would be a lie because their wasn't a husky there. So I guess it was infinity coverage. For real, they just kind of lobbed it to the middle of the field where it was picked and the game ended.

Awful awful terrible game.

I was at that game. Everyone started booing whenever the offense took the field. It was hilarious and awful. As a bonus, Henson got interviewed by one of the local newspapers about the booing and said something to the effect of "Hell, if I was watching that game, I'd boo too!!". Gee, I wonder why we were booing. :thumbsup:

At least Mizzou sometimes produces really hilarious horrible games, like the 2014 Florida game. We scored 42 points with a little over 100 yards of total offense IIRC. Maty Mauk sucks rear end.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

CaptainYesterday posted:

If you weren't watching college football at the time, imagine the SEC West was just a single team.

It kinda is

Filthy Casual
Aug 13, 2014

Lt. Chips posted:

This was the one I came to post. It was by far the most inept display of quarterbacking I have ever seen. 147 total passing yards between both teams. It was a shockingly awful game. It was also the first thing I thought of when the Bears signed Clausen years later. Thankfully most of the specifics of this game have been purged from my memory.

This is usually my go-to for insanely awful Bears games, but it did have a couple cool plays that put it above those 6-3 abominations.

Namely Forte's 60 yard run and Peppers catching the same pass he tipped: http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/09000d5d81b35eea/Bears-vs-Panthers-highlights

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
On this very night, four years ago, along this same stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst game I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building...


And when they finally pulled the call from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...!

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president

Madcosby posted:

On this very night, four years ago, along this same stretch of road in a dense fog just like this. I saw the worst game I ever seen. There was this sound, like a garbage truck dropped off the Empire State Building...


And when they finally pulled the call from the twisted, burning wreck. It looked like this...!



Arguably the best/quickest way to end a ref holdout

axeil
Feb 14, 2006

wa27 posted:

I was in the stands for this one:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyzCw6y1yYU
box score

Iowa State went up 9-7 in the 2nd quarter and the score never changed again. Nebraska turned it over eight times, with four inside the 5-yard line. All NU needed was a field goal to win and they had the best kicker in the NCAA.

The strangest thing is it felt like Nebraska was in control of the game up until the final drive. Iowa State only forced four punts on 14 possessions. Every time we would drive down to the red zone, the crowd would be begging for a field goal, only to get a fumble instead. It was the most frustrating thing ever. And still everyone was pretty confident that we'd win the game until near the end of the fourth quarter.

I kept watching this one and was thinking to myself "wow Iowa State must've blown them out." Imagine my surprise when I looked at the score on the 6th or 7th turnover and noticed it was still 9-7. Jesus Christ.

Mr. McGibblets posted:


Can we turn this into a "worst game of all time tournament?"

A bracket would be interesting, but I think we need a full 64 horrible games and I'd need help figuring out seeding. If someone wants to coordinate with me it could be a fun thing to put together.

I'm thinking we have a college half and a pro half and the "winners" of each can face off for the crown of worst game of all time.

axeil fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Sep 18, 2016

Henchman of Santa
Aug 21, 2010
My dad had Lions season tickets from 2001-06 so I have seen many terrible games in person. The worst was probably before we got seasons--a game at the Silverdome against the Redskins in 2000, I believe. The Lions won 15-10 on 5 Jason Hanson field goals. The highlight was defensive tackle Kelvin Pritchett coming up with a pick, returning it to the 1 and failing to juke the last man to score. We could not punch it in.

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Frinkahedron
Jul 26, 2006

Gobble Gobble

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