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I work in a prison, and this seemed like the place for my kind of people. By which, I mean to say, we are on the list of totally badass professions. That said, we see some weird and sometimes disturbing poo poo. I, in particular, specialize in working with sex offenders, and it really fucks with my head sometimes. It's good work, important work, and meaningful work, but it's hard as hell. And I think anyone who's spent any time on this side of prison can relate. So, let's talk. Let's get real. Let's say all the things we can't say in front of our co-workers. Because everyone has those moments. Those moments that you know you can't say, but you also know that everyone else has experienced. The ones that are creepy or shocking or just plain weird, or you wish you could kill a guy just to make the world a better place, but your integrity won't let you, or you wish you could just help a guy who doesn't deserve what he got, but there's some part of you that can't resist helping, or whatever. It's a rough loving place to be. I want to talk about my job, but my co workers are dicks and don't get it, and I really need people who are real. However, if you have spend time behind bars: I do want to hear your perspective, and talk candidly about that and even hear your complaints, but here is not the place. You are welcome to PM me, but this forum is for people who work within the system. If you want to start a post somewhere else about your side of things, I will follow it and contribute my perspective if I want,, but do it in the right place, and let me know.
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Sep 14, 2016 01:40
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March of the MPenguins
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Sep 14, 2016 01:46
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Jails suck, COs suck, i hope you get gassed and SMDFTB welcome to GIP
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Sep 14, 2016 02:48
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I hear corrections are the Coast Guard of the law enforcement world, is that true?
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Sep 14, 2016 03:12
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So what kind of poo poo have you seen done for a Klondike bar?
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Sep 14, 2016 04:04
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Do you have a classy enough social circle that new acquaintances ask if you have seen tv show x (the wire, etc.) and so on? Or do they not give a poo poo
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Sep 14, 2016 04:21
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So, all womens prison Exactly like Orange is the new black or just.. pretty much like it? I'd be all about banging a latina behind bars and having a kid with her and turning it into a netflix original movie...
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Sep 14, 2016 04:23
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A few months ago, I applied to become a police officer at my local PD. As part of the application process, they brought in a shrink and made me take a bunch of psych evals. One of the questions was "Instead of being a cop, would you be willing to work as a jailer or probation officer?" and I said hell no. Afterwards, my captain congratulated me and welcomed me to the team. That's my corrections story god bless. Edit: shamefully non-mean answer: your job must be hard as poo poo and I don't envy it, but thanks for doing it because someone needs to.
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Sep 14, 2016 04:38
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Suck my dick from the back gently caress man CO.
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Sep 14, 2016 05:07
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At least the coast guard gets to ride boats and sometimes touch guns. All COs do is pass out toilet paper and watch crazy people get naked in the shower.
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Sep 14, 2016 05:22
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I know it's more like Oz than not in many state prisons.
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Sep 14, 2016 05:27
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Branis posted:At least the coast guard gets to ride boats and sometimes touch guns. All COs do is pass out toilet paper and watch crazy people get naked in the shower. As a former human garbage janitor at a county lock up, can confirm
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Sep 14, 2016 05:56
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Imprisoning another human being deprived both them and their captors of their humanity and decency. Fines and summary execution are the new law, your position has been absorbed.
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Sep 14, 2016 06:39
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LtCol J. Krusinski posted:I know it's more like Oz than not in many state prisons. Reporter works undercover as a private prison guard. Laughable training and shenanigans ensue. State pen is a model of professionalism compared to private prisons.
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Sep 14, 2016 07:07
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LtCol J. Krusinski posted:Suck my dick from the back gently caress man CO. My best friend's dad was an MP in the Air Force and after he got out he went into corrections. He usually works in the guard tower which is cool because apparently you and the other guy just trade off napping, but hes rotated through many of the other jobs that sucked. One of the guys he worked with regularly in the tower was also a drinking buddy of his. While drinking and hanging out one night his buddy tells him 'I want to run my fingers through your perm while you blow me'. I was shocked to learn he had an actual perm, I always assumed his hair was naturally curly. Anyways the next day he asked never to work with that guy in the tower again at work (something about not wanting to be alone with or take a nap around him) and he stopped drinking with him.
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Sep 14, 2016 09:48
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Blackchamber posted:My best friend's dad was an MP in the Air Force and after he got out he went into corrections. He usually works in the guard tower which is cool because apparently you and the other guy just trade off napping, but hes rotated through many of the other jobs that sucked. The truth is it got awkward after your buddy's pops sucked off his friend in the tower and it wasn't reciprocated. Air Force sucks. MPs suck dick. That's double dick sucking because math. And man with perm equals orally permissive. I worked county lock up for a year post Navy. My favorite were the mental health folks who ate their own doo-doo. And lady period blood artists. I considered myself a babysitter for lovely kids with oppositional defiant disorders... I never thought about inmates crimes cause I didn't give a gently caress. I liked opening their mail and sending the porno pics their nasty pimple pussied girlfiends tried to send them to their property bags. Also (really) integrity in jail really means "I don't want to end up in protective custody cause I got mad at an inmate for making fun of me and did something hosed up OR put my finger/tongue/pen/flashlight in some unable-to-consent orifice..." If the inmates were being annoying I'd wait til they got really into a show and turn off the tv's 5 minutes before the show ended. Dingleberry fucked around with this message at 13:02 on Sep 14, 2016 |
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Sep 14, 2016 12:57
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I did 5 years in the jails motherfuckers come at me
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Sep 14, 2016 15:57
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Branis posted:I did 5 years in the jails motherfuckers come at me They came when you dropped the soap.
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Sep 14, 2016 16:10
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Dingleberry posted:
I'm on this committee that's informally called the Porn Committee. Inmates can't have porn in my state, so whenever something "questionable" comes through the mailroom, they send it to us, and we decide if it actually meets the criteria for being porn. So, basically, I know who in our facility has hot girlfriends and who has ugly ones (most of them), and who has crazy fetishes, and Jesus Christ, some of these guys are into some loving hilarious poo poo. poo poo like, guys in sombreros loving donkeys, and fat chicks stuffing their faces with hot dogs, and garden gnomes with dicks jacking off. And then I go back out into the facility, and I know who's the weirdos, and that I could call them out at any time if i wanted to gently caress with them. I find it quite humorous.
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Sep 14, 2016 17:37
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fluffykittys posted:I'm on this committee that's informally called the Porn Committee. Inmates can't have porn in my state, so whenever something "questionable" comes through the mailroom, they send it to us, and we decide if it actually meets the criteria for being porn. And then they can tell you that you work in corrections and you can go drink and cry yourself to sleep
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Sep 14, 2016 17:50
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Corrections: the people voluntarily in a prison
Proud Christian Mom fucked around with this message at 18:05 on Sep 14, 2016 |
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Sep 14, 2016 17:56
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Every corrections story I've ever heard confirms that the system consists of doodoo people bring watched by peepee people who all deserve to be in prison together, minus the innocent and nonviolent offenders
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Sep 14, 2016 18:21
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Dingleberry posted:The truth is it got awkward after your buddy's pops sucked off his friend in the tower and it wasn't reciprocated. So did acting like someone's bitchy mom pay dividend or could the inmates not relate to the experience?
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Sep 14, 2016 18:47
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Branis posted:I did 5 years in the jails motherfuckers come at me Did it make you a better criminal?
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Sep 14, 2016 23:15
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Arc Light posted:Did it make you a better criminal? It made him better at butt smuggling
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Sep 14, 2016 23:29
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what's it like getting rejected by all the police departments
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Sep 14, 2016 23:37
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I am pretty good at smuggling butts
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Sep 15, 2016 00:43
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Whip Slagcheek posted:It made him better at butt smuggling https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0gSzsN7xzPI
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Sep 15, 2016 00:43
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Kawasaki Nun posted:So did acting like someone's bitchy mom pay dividend or could the inmates not relate to the experience? It just made everyone sad.
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Sep 15, 2016 01:19
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how do you smuggle drugs in and how do the inmates pay you, turnkey?
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Sep 15, 2016 01:57
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MassivelyBuckNegro posted:how do you smuggle drugs in and how do the inmates pay you, turnkey? in your butt and blowjobs, duh
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Sep 15, 2016 02:03
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Speaking of COs 
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Sep 15, 2016 04:14
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I laughed at 17/38
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Sep 15, 2016 04:16
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I interviewed at and had a job offer for a prison librarian job at a medium security prison. Nice to have some confirmation that I was wise to turn them down.
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Sep 16, 2016 17:45
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It actually wouldn't be hard to smuggle drugs or cell phones or whatever in, but it's really dangerous to be that person. For one, if an inmate gets busted, they're not likely to want to protect you, so they'd likely turn you over to save their own rear end. Also, it makes you a target. I hear there's a lot of money in it, but it's also like painting a giant bullseye on yourself in regards to the offenders. I find that my job is a lot easier if I just go with the flow and don't make friends or enemies of the offenders.
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Sep 18, 2016 20:53
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What I'm really curious about is, what's the worst thing you've seen while working in corrections? I saw a guy one time, he flattened a straw, stuck it up into his eyelid, and used it to pry his eyeball out of its socket, and then, he just stood there, staring at his reflection in the window, like no big deal, while he twisted the straw around his optical nerve. It was pretty crazy how he was just completely calm the whole time. No facial expressions, no squinting or flinching at the pain. Nothing. As if he was doing something as mundane as brushing his teeth. I've seen lots of other crazy stuff, but that's the one that gave me pause.
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Sep 18, 2016 20:59
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fluffykittys posted:What I'm really curious about is, what's the worst thing you've seen while working in corrections? The state of Louisiana has locked up innocent men for like, three decades a half dozen times.
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Sep 18, 2016 21:56
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This is a bad thread and you should feel bad about yourself
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Sep 18, 2016 22:25
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It's already stretching it to allow civilian police officers post in this forum Maybe someone should open a thread for garbagemen and teamsters too (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Sep 18, 2016 22:28
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| # ? Apr 25, 2024 09:12 |
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Fudge posted:It's already stretching it to allow civilian police officers post in this forum Literally, this thread.
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Sep 18, 2016 22:50
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