Warcraft is the worst movie I've seen all year

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Warcraft is the worst movie I've seen all year

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

What was so bad about it OP?

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 02:47

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 19:23

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

I enjoyed it

It was as dumb as my videogames, including the boss with red circles you're not supposed to stand on

Felt like a Lord of the Rings but for retards, which I enjoyed

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 02:58

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Applewhite posted:

$20.00 or something.

The Sylvester Stallone Judge Dredd was dumb fun that was so stupid it was good. The Warcraft movie is poo poo garbage that's been carefully focus grouped to polish out any possible hint of cheeziness that could be enjoyed ironically.

Every line of dialogue made me cringe. The characters all talk like it's old times, but they also possess a sense of postmodern irony that comes across really awkward and out of place every time it comes up. The acting is terrible and the cinematography is almost, but not quite as slipshod as the Last Airbender movie. Characters keep running from place to place and scene to scene and it feels like the majority of the movie is them rushing to get to a battle, then rushing through the battle as quickly as possible so they can visit the next location. The foreshadowing that the kid wearing the bath towel is going to be the next boss wizard is so ham-fisted it's a wonder why they even bothered to dance around it instead of just having Merlin say "the kid with the bath towel is going to be the next wizard" directly into the camera.

Also, why are all the female orcs skinny supermodels with tiny teeth? I mean, I know why, because fanservice, but come on. I love fanservice and I hated this because it looks like crap. It's lazy. Lazy and lovely. This whole movie is a disgrace.

That reminds me - I wanna bone the orc halfbreed, bitch was hot as Foooook

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 03:45

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Applewhite posted:

They weren't even hot, that's the sad thing. They were just supposed to be hot because, like everything else in the movie, they were bland focus group trash.

And anyway, the female orcs were the least of my problems with the film. The terrible dialogue, sloppy editing and in your face CGI nonsense easily ruined the film long before a bunch of boardroom cowards handed over the character designs to a bunch of emotionally stunted permavirgins who are scared to show a woman with a little meat on her bones.

Hey rear end in a top hat! I funded this film and you will respect me!

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 04:11

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Applewhite posted:

like... on kickstarter?

No by playing World of Warcraft for a few months back in 2006

For real though orc hottie protagonist was a qt, maybe I should buy the movie

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 04:23

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

So you didn't watch Batman Vs Superman?

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 04:47

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

Zzulu posted:

The whole world has to endure american things constantly if they want to see a blockbuster

I for one welcome our new chinese cultural overlords

How do you explain the Ghostbusters movie then

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 17:55

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

SPACE HOMOS posted:

I watched the movie Maggie's Plan a couple days before Warcraft. The guy who plays Lothar is a pickle maker (pickler?) in maggie's plan so when I saw him saw him in Warcraft I was like oh hey that pickle man.

You're a pickle master

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 21:49

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

I'm halfway through and I can say with certainty XMen Apocalypse is way worse than Warcraft, BvS or civil war

The Bible got it from him

Wow this movie sucks

# ¿ Sep 16, 2016 06:39

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# ¿ Apr 27, 2024 19:23

Comfy Fleece Sweater: Apr 2, 2013; You see, but you do not observe.

a bone to pick posted:

Lol xmen apocalypse was horrible except for quicksilver's scenes, hard to say if it's worse than Warcraft though.

Everything in XMen apocalypse is close up
Shots with blue screen behind, it's weird

# ¿ Sep 16, 2016 18:00

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > Warcraft is the worst movie I've seen all year