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akadajet
Sep 14, 2003

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OldAlias
Nov 2, 2013

the shaggar bug child

RISCy Business
Jun 17, 2015

bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork bork
Fun Shoe
like combining turds and dirt

Suspicious
Apr 30, 2005
You know he's the villain, because he's got shifty eyes.
3 billion devices run java? that's terrifying

akadajet
Sep 14, 2003

Suspicious posted:

3 billion devices run java? that's terrifying

yeah, but it's been that way for awhile. the number hasn't been going up either.

akadajet
Sep 14, 2003

it's kind of like those old mcdonalds signs that told you how many millions of hamburgers were sold

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

they named a computer language after a word for coffee

Suspicious
Apr 30, 2005
You know he's the villain, because he's got shifty eyes.
it was going to be called oak because the dude who made it had a big oak he could see from his office window, but it was already taken. so he went for coffee and he called it java

jony neuemonic
Nov 13, 2009

i don't see what java or php has to do with javascript developers (the web problem).

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud
Apr 7, 2003

I’d make eye contact with him and fart. I did it all the time for like two years. I didn’t even know his full name, just heard that his coworkers thought he was a nut for complaining about “the guy who would fart on me in the break room”

Suspicious posted:

3 billion devices run java? that's terrifying

One of the guys at work says that Java gives you enough rope to shoot yourself in the foot.

Peanut and the Gang
Aug 24, 2009

by exmarx

Suspicious posted:

3 billion devices run java? that's terrifying

akadajet posted:

it's kind of like those old mcdonalds signs that told you how many millions of hamburgers were sold

That's a typo in a starbucks ad. It should read that they sold 3 billion cups of coffee - all with different silly-sounding names.

fart simpson
Jul 2, 2005

DEATH TO AMERICA
:xickos:

5

Peanut and the Gang
Aug 24, 2009

by exmarx
Interesting fact about coffee: After multi-hour boughts of intense brain thinking/usage, the brain loses interest and wants to stop caring about the work thats going on. But caffeine reinvigorates it, bringing it back to peak interest mode. So if you drink coffee, you're being tricked into working harder. That's why a lot of offices add free coffee/snacks for the fatass devs.

Michael Transactions
Nov 11, 2013

Suspicious posted:

it was going to be called oak because the dude who made it had a big oak he could see from his office window, but it was already taken. so he went for coffee and he called it java

What if he called it the N word?

akadajet
Sep 14, 2003

I drink coffee exclusively for my sustenance. You should see how thin I am.

Asymmetric POSTer
Aug 17, 2005

tumor looking batty posted:

What if he called it the N word?

you can write neurotypical here, yospos is a safe space

BONGHITZ
Jan 1, 1970

Peanut and the Gang posted:

Interesting fact about coffee: After multi-hour boughts of intense brain thinking/usage, the brain loses interest and wants to stop caring about the work thats going on. But caffeine reinvigorates it, bringing it back to peak interest mode. So if you drink coffee, you're being tricked into working harder. That's why a lot of offices add free coffee/snacks for the fatass devs.

i am scared

Phoenixan
Jan 16, 2010

Just Keep Cool-idge
free office coffee is usually really awful tasting

jony ive aces
Jun 14, 2012

designer of the lomarf car


Buglord

Suspicious posted:

it was going to be called oak because the dude who made it had a big oak he could see from his office window, but it was already taken. so he went for coffee and he called it java
then he traveled across state lines to molest a child from a chatroom who turned out to be an fbi agent and escaped conviction by agreeing to janitor the fbi's computers

ConanTheLibrarian
Aug 13, 2004


dis buch is late
Fallen Rib

tumor looking batty posted:

they named a computer language after a word for coffee

php is a funny name for coffee

Maximum Leader
Dec 5, 2014
java is an island

George
Nov 27, 2004

No love for your made-up things.
dont talk to me until ive had my morning coffee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moo Cowabunga
Jun 15, 2009

[Office Worker.




I don't even drink coffee

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
php is the web problem

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
watch this thread next tuesday for live posts from javaone

Sham bam bamina!
Nov 6, 2012

ƨtupid cat

Peanut and the Gang posted:

Interesting fact about coffee: After multi-hour boughts
bouts

qntm
Jun 17, 2009
kind of want to invent a programming language called javascriptscript which is totally unrelated to either javascript or java, like a derivative of piet or something

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock

qntm posted:

kind of want to invent a programming language called javascriptscript which is totally unrelated to either javascript or java, like a derivative of piet or something

ephpresso

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde

Citizen Tayne posted:

One of the guys at work says that Java gives you enough rope to shoot yourself in the foot.
this used to be said about C and if you gently caress up despite having safe pointers and managed memory maybe you shouldnt be programming ?

Maximum Leader
Dec 5, 2014

qntm posted:

kind of want to invent a programming language called javascriptscript which is totally unrelated to either javascript or java, like a derivative of piet or something

why half rear end it? just name it pythonscript and base it off php except you need to compile it. also it cant run in a browser

George
Nov 27, 2004

No love for your made-up things.
doesnt php stand for personal home page

post hole digger
Mar 21, 2011

Suspicious posted:

it was going to be called oak because the dude who made it had a big oak he could see from his office window, but it was already taken. so he went for coffee and he called it java

[computer guy looking around office] im going to call this programming language i invented.... desk.

Radio Paranoia
Jun 27, 2010

It is now safe to turn off your computer.

George posted:

doesnt php stand for personal home page

it stands for php hypertext processor

qntm
Jun 17, 2009
OK my new programming language is going to be QHP, which stands for QHP: Hypertext Preprocessor

flakeloaf
Feb 26, 2003

Still better than android clock

my bitter bi rival posted:

[computer guy looking around office] im going to call this programming language i invented.... desk.

wait, desk is too old school, this is new techology.

an automatic desk

akadajet
Sep 14, 2003

Radio Paranoia posted:

it stands for php hypertext processor

which expands to `personal home page hypertext processor` which also means `magic the gathering online exchange`

Gazpacho
Jun 18, 2004

by Fluffdaddy
Slippery Tilde
Pretty Hate Processor

Hammerite
Mar 9, 2007

And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.
Jade Ear Joe
PHP stands for "pphhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppt", a fartign noise

BangersInMyKnickers
Nov 3, 2004

I have a thing for courageous dongles

for about 10 years our company homepage had java applet that did nothing but play a slideshow because some god damned webdev confused java with javascript

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r u ready to WALK
Sep 29, 2001

Hammerite posted:

PHP stands for "pphhhhhhhhhhhhhhpppt", a fartign noise

php: silent but deadly

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