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Mine are: 1.) "I am Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails." 2.) "Ya know, sneezes are like mini orgasms."
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Sep 16, 2016 05:38
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:08 |
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dad: "I'm maynard from t00l"
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Sep 16, 2016 06:07
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had a tough childhood. could only get one toy at a time, not two, regardless of price. GI Joes were like $2, and my sister's Barbie's were like $15. poo poo seems incredibly unfair in retrospect.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:08
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"This is your other dad."
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Sep 16, 2016 06:09
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a gbs thread about dad's, this won't end in a dark place at all
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Sep 16, 2016 06:15
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Dad: "Well son, the funny thing about regret is: it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done. And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, would you be sure and tell her... SATAN SATAN SATAN SATAN"
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Sep 16, 2016 06:16
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Bug Bill Murray posted:dad: "I'm maynard from t00l" Haha that would be weird. The truth though is that Maynard from Tool has no children. PotatoManJack posted:Dad: "Well son, the funny thing about regret is: it's better to regret something you have done than to regret something you haven't done. And by the way, if you see your mom this weekend, would you be sure and tell her... lol
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Sep 16, 2016 06:16
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my dad has called me a life failure many times and this is because i am actually a life failure
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Sep 16, 2016 06:18
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personable decorum posted:my dad has called me a life failure many times and this is because i am actually a life failure What the hell is a life failure? All I can imagine is a cute animal being born dead.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:20
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In high school I started dating a dogfucker named Lauren, anyway before I knew she hosed dogs I brought her over to watch tv My dad came home from work all pissed at me for being a disappointment He looks at Lauren and said "word of advice, you ever sleep with this jackass make sure you're on top because the only thing he knows how to do is gently caress up"
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Sep 16, 2016 06:21
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"Happy Birthday, son. Your gift is a Something Awful Forums account."
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Sep 16, 2016 06:21
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"I'm proud of you."
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Sep 16, 2016 06:22
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"Nice meltdown." i've never been the same since....
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Sep 16, 2016 06:23
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"why yes it is your fault your mother and I are getting a divorce"
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Sep 16, 2016 06:23
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personable decorum posted:my dad has called me a life failure many times and this is because i am actually a life failure Mine too! Except it was about the fact that I put too much ginger in his chai. ...I don't really talk to my dad much anymore
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Sep 16, 2016 06:23
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LP0 ON FIRE posted:What the hell is a life failure? All I can imagine is a cute animal being born dead. when you spend all day reading Sartre and hanging out with Camp David's psyche advisory board and judges ur brain just snaps and becomes its own prison it doesnt help when ur mom is the nickel town red devil whirl wind and throws butchers knives at u when shes in a tizzy
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Sep 16, 2016 06:23
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i call it phenomenological nlp cuzz its nice and redundant enough for me to say go gently caress yourself dad with
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Sep 16, 2016 06:24
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Dad posted:...
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Sep 16, 2016 06:25
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~i talk to my dad often and enjoy the time i get with him. he's a very busy guy and plays cards constantly and he's obsessed with my mom still. life is loving crazy i dont really give a gently caress about much other than my dogs and jessica for some reason AMA in fyad one day~
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Sep 16, 2016 06:26
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Gatekeeper posted:In high school I started dating a dogfucker named Lauren, anyway before I knew she hosed dogs I brought her over to watch tv Haha funny cool dad FIRST TIME posted:"Happy Birthday, son. Your gift is a Something Awful Forums account." And on that day you realized you were a man.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:26
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SatansChoice posted:~i talk to my dad often and enjoy the time i get with him. he's a very busy guy and plays cards constantly and he's obsessed with my mom still. life is loving crazy i dont really give a gently caress about much other than my dogs and jessica for some reason AMA in fyad one day~ What is it like to be happy? 
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Sep 16, 2016 06:27
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everything after the warm, breezy day he swore to never speak to me again like dude, keep at least one promise
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Sep 16, 2016 06:27
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He once asked me which hand I jack off with. I told him I use both hands. He said "My boy jacks off with both hands. Nice. I only use the right hand." More information than I wanted to know and give.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:28
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VendaGoat posted:What is it like to be happy? lol 
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Sep 16, 2016 06:28
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"get a real job take care of your mom"
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Sep 16, 2016 06:28
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He called me a disgusting liberal leech for moving back home after college. Because I had to drop out due to severe mental illness. That I inherited from his garbage genes.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:29
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Nothing 
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Sep 16, 2016 06:31
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"here's my number, it's on you if you want to stay in touch"
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Sep 16, 2016 06:32
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I always hated wearin a shirt while I crapped, I'd always take off my shirt to sit on the bowl. I think I was afraid it would get splashed or something lol Anyway I'm like 7 maybe and my dad has some friends over and out of the blue he says "hey guys get this - my son can't poo poo without takin his shirt off. Every time he takes a poo poo, he's gotta take his shirt off first. I think my son is Puerto Rican!" This was a. embarrassing and b. confusing
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Sep 16, 2016 06:32
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that was about 16 years ago
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Sep 16, 2016 06:32
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He said "Dying is a real bitch." It was the last thing he ever said to me, because he was dying.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:34
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Gatekeeper posted:I always hated wearin a shirt while I crapped, I'd always take off my shirt to sit on the bowl. I think I was afraid it would get splashed or something lol You are really weird and I want to know more about you. Start a A/T thread.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:34
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just the tip
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Sep 16, 2016 06:49
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Oh wait... I remember it now, he asked; Are there stairs in your house?
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Sep 16, 2016 06:51
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ProfessorMurder posted:You are really weird and I want to know more about you. Start a A/T thread. Gatekeeper is the apple of my eye and the jewel of my post heart
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Sep 16, 2016 06:55
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The last thing my dad said to me was "I think I might die soon so if you don't hear from me in a few days that's why". He died a few days later. Not sure how he knew. I figured he was just saying a drunk thing like he always did, so i blew it off. I'm sad that I didn't believe him and I never got to say goodbye.
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Sep 16, 2016 06:58
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I am your father.
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Sep 16, 2016 07:00
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A man has needs, as I'm sure you know."
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Sep 16, 2016 07:03
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well he wasn't really talking it was more of a grunt but he was pooping straight into my butt, it was turble
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Sep 16, 2016 07:04
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| # ? Apr 20, 2024 00:08 |
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Reject premise, assumes verbal communication took place.
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Sep 16, 2016 07:19
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