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Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010



Canned Ferret

*Has perfect amount of savings to retire comfortably*

*blows it all on an expensive camper van with 'screw the kid's inheritance' and 'adventure before dementia' bumper stickers*

*is surprised when they need but can no longer afford aged care*

*don't worry, it's our kids turn to care for us. Nope, they work full time jobs but are barely afloat*

*suffers in horrible abuse factory of government funded aged care. Blames current generation rather than decades of own decision making, including voting habits*

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Stinky_Pete
Aug 15, 2015

:bernget:
Forever past
:bernget:
We live

Lipstick Apathy

maybe i'll win the lottery

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

COMFY FLEECE SWEATERS ALT ACCOUNT

Buglord

Stinky_Pete posted:

maybe i'll win the lottery

That's my retirement plan, bub. Get your own plan.

Sentient Data
Aug 31, 2011

My molecule scrambler ray will disintegrate your armor with one blow!


Stinky_Pete posted:

maybe i'll win the lottery

Dream on you hippie, slot machine tournaments are where the real riches are!

The Human Crouton
Sep 20, 2002



My dad said that he is going to work until he dies, and that everyone should work until they die. He's saved money because he is so busy working that he doesn't have time to spend it.

Work until you die.

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

FOUNDER AND PRESIDENT OF THE KUATO FAN CLUB 4/2/13-PRESENT

KUATO IS MY HERO! AMA!


The Human Crouton posted:

My dad said that he is going to work until he dies, and that everyone should work until they die. He's saved money because he is so busy working that he doesn't have time to spend it.

Work until you die.

Joke's on him, I bet he leaves you a fat inheritance so you can live your days doing nothing

dee eight
Dec 18, 2002

MONTANA
CATDRUG
CARTEL

doxxed

12gaugelobotomy
Apr 25, 2012


Kenzie posted:

*decides to hike across america to draw attention to self and to go on wonderful adventure to meet and help others and promote world peace and happiness across the heartland of america, while begging for money*

*makes it 10 miles down the highway, gets hit by truck*

*dies*

You won't make it that far before your cart breaks and you call for an uber to your aunts place.

Fallows
Jan 20, 2005
not racist

i hope im dead by the time i cant work and need to retire

Bert Roberge
Nov 28, 2003


A shotgun + bullets is only like $200 and surely you can save enough for that.

FedEx Mercury
Jan 7, 2004

Me bad posting? That's unpossible!


Lipstick Apathy

Bert Roberge posted:

A shotgun + bullets is only like $200 and surely you can save enough for that.

What are you going to do with the bullets though

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?


I've got 69 million in my 420k

Carmant
Nov 23, 2015


Treadmill? What's that? Is that some kind of cake?


Bert Roberge posted:

A shotgun + bullets is only like $200 and surely you can save enough for that.

Oh.. you bought shotgun BULLETS? Durrr.. I think you mean shells idiot

Stinky_Pete
Aug 15, 2015

:bernget:
Forever past
:bernget:
We live

Lipstick Apathy

I really enjoyed the lattes that guy was. Talking about

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!


Grimey Drawer

Bert Roberge posted:

A shotgun + bullets is only like $200 and surely you can save enough for that.

thats a lot to save up for. plus you can only kill like 15 people at best

Marv Hushman
Jun 2, 2010

Freedom Ain't Free


Retirement? Half of the US can't bankroll a set of tires on short notice:

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine...t-shame/476415/

Mumpy Puffinz
Aug 11, 2008
Probation
Can't post for 3 hours!


Grimey Drawer

Fallows posted:

i hope im dead by the time i cant work and need to retire

that is literally what your employers hope too

Manticorny
Sep 7, 2016

It's a sad and beautiful world.


*holds up the line at the convenience store loving AGAIN FOR CHRISTS SAKE buying scratch tickets*

Moon Atari
Dec 26, 2010



Canned Ferret

Retirement is a thing that happens on television. In the same way that television depicts average families living in mansions, people working creative dream jobs and the middle class existing.

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.


Moon Atari posted:

Retirement is a thing that happens on television. In the same way that television depicts average families living in mansions, people working creative dream jobs and the middle class existing.

Maybe you should have planned for the future better

GAYS FOR DAYS
Dec 22, 2005

by exmarx


Oh hey, a thread for my mom.

Blue Train
Jun 17, 2012



Moon Atari posted:

Retirement is a thing that happens on television. In the same way that television depicts average families living in mansions, people working creative dream jobs and the middle class existing.

Bimmi
Nov 8, 2009


someday
but not today


My retirement plan is a backwards swan dive off the Hoover Dam.

NObodiesGeek
Jun 14, 2003
I'm not shy, I just hate you.

If your retirement plan is to kill yourself, then why wait? You could retire right now. Help fix some of our other problems like unemployment and social security.

Harveygod
Jan 4, 2014

We don't play games here.

We fucking kill them.



waitwhatno posted:

Votes Trump cause it's somehow the Mexican's fault and Trump is the only candidate brave enough to say the truth

Just one Mexican? Man, he must be busy then.

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

Forums Rutabaga

you should try working for the socialist Canadian government. we still have actual pensions. lol owned

SCROTO TURBOSPERG
Jan 21, 2007

Suck the shit out of my own asshole, please

Carmant posted:

I've got 69 million in my 420k

PERPETUAL IDIOT
Sep 12, 2003


401ks are a theft and it's hosed that the private sector puts up with em. I have a pension and I'll retire at 80% pay at 55.

never seen again
Jan 25, 2008


I work in an industry that notoriously pays poorly (restaurants/fine dining) but even I managed to buy a house, have a retirement plan that I contribute to regularly, zero credit card debt, six months of expenses tucked away in a rainy-day account and a car for both my wife and I that are paid in full.

The secrets to my success: live in a midwestern city with a good growth rate and low cost of living, not having kids, having a minimalist lifestyle, and smoking weed everyday.

I am two steps above mouth-breathing retard but if I can do it so can you.

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long


PERPETUAL IDIOT posted:

401ks are a theft and it's hosed that the private sector puts up with em. I have a pension and I'll retire at 80% pay at 55.

Thank you for your service in the Canadian Forces. I'm sure half of that time wasn't spent on your rear end shooting the poo poo.

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT, EAT BRAINS ALL DAY



This thread made me check my retirement fund and...

HEH, looks like ol' Inzombiac will be living high and mighty on premium ramen and store brand eggs, you plebs!

Inzombiac
Mar 19, 2007

PARTY ALL NIGHT, EAT BRAINS ALL DAY



But seriously, even though I have a good retirement plan, it doesn't matter because I make practically nothing.

PERPETUAL IDIOT
Sep 12, 2003


Airborne Viking posted:

Thank you for your service in the Canadian Forces. I'm sure half of that time wasn't spent on your rear end shooting the poo poo.

I'm American my friend, in a regressive city in a regressive state. The secret is to work for the government.

wyntyr
Mar 27, 2006


Inzombiac posted:

But seriously, even though I have a good retirement plan, it doesn't matter because I make practically nothing.

my friend

Eighty
Jun 15, 2005


Rutibex posted:

you should try working for the socialist Canadian government. we still have actual pensions. lol owned

Grandma Panic!
Nov 4, 2006


im going to shoot mysefl at 65 if i live that long

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...

Grimey Drawer

Suicide booths better be real.

rotinaj
Sep 4, 2008



I am gonna work until I have a stress related heart attack and die while stuck in traffic

Suck it, people behind me in traffic

mom and dad fight a lot
Sep 21, 2006

twenty-six characters long


PERPETUAL IDIOT posted:

I'm American my friend, in a regressive city in a regressive state. The secret is to work for the government.

Canadians always steal the good stuff from other people.

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jfood
Jan 21, 2015


thankful for my defined benefits pension

eat poo poo, you private sector fucks

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