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Name for Jastiger's Baby of Northern Aggression
Sherman Tecumseh
Sherman North
Sherman Wrath
Sherman Iowa
Sherman Dunham
Sherman Goku
Something not Sherman (Confederate Slave-Holding Sympathizer Identifier Option)
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  • Locked thread
Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless




So I just had a baby boy a few days ago and we're still trying to figure out what his name should be. So far we know his first name is going to be Sherman, but my wife won't let me go with Sherman Tecumseh because she wants a family name for a middle name or Sherman North because the Kardashians already did that (Even though mine has serious historical implications).

If I get enough internet support I'm sure I can rally her to my cause! I'm really liking Sherman Tecumseh though. Even if it doesn't go on the official birth certificate, we can still put it on other documents so he has legal recourse to change his name to Sherman Tecumseh.

Any other advice is helpful here, goons! Lets make history!

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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


donkey salami posted:

Sherman Lee

Let the healing begin

Only if it heals in such a way as the South is scabbed over and looks wicked terrible as a reminder of past wrongs.

Don't pick at it, or it'll bleed.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Guy Goodbody posted:

Give your kid a regular name for a middle name so on the first day of school he can tell all his teachers to use his middle name instead of Sherman.

Tecumseh is the first option, jfc do you even read.


Wendigee posted:

'lil chop

Oooh nice one running that by the wife.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


I hate yankees posted:

op are you going to mutilate the child's penis too

because he won't need a penis with a name like sherman because he will forever be taking it up the rear end

Nope.

I need to add Richard Sherman on there. Legion of BOOM.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Petty? Celebrating the man partially responsible for the greatest American triumph in history but yeah petty

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Celluloid Sam posted:

thank you he's really great did you see him

My son is already heavyweight champion tho. Bring it on (post pics!!)

Also to the person who compared a race car driver to a great General wtf man. Im guessing you think Washington State or the Turing Test is the equivalent too? If youre gonna angry post in this thread try not to be an idiot and at least be funny.

Also my sons balls are huge goddam.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Skin to skin! Also the shirt was dirty.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


My kid is still up. First night home and hes gassy ugh.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Ork of Fiction posted:

I thought u had a daughter!? Glowing-fish tricked me! You're out of the daughter's club now!

I have both.


The idea on obliterating Atlanta is appealing but we arent a nuclear family. What other options are there to rain destruction on the South as a family?

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


vols bitch posted:

Jefferson Davis Jr

loving child abuser spotted.


My wife is breastfeeding and all that comes out is gravy. Iowa owns.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Captain Yossarian posted:

Believe it or not Jastiger, I bought and ate something called an "Iowa chop" from the hyvee meat department this weekend- it was pretty good. Congratulations on your new kid

Glad ya enjoyed it.

Re: breast milk, i was a stay at home dad for thr first 10 months of my first kid. Mom pumped and i fed. Let me tell you, breast milk smells, tastes, and even looks totally gross. I dont get how people can even joke about it unless they have had absolutely zero contact with it.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


A new av too. How fitting.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Robot Pride posted:

do you people actually think this whole thing through before you start breeding?

the family middle name is a great idea if you are aristocracy living in england in 1200 AD....i'm sure that family name is going to matter at all ever

Its a good idea if you want your son to strike fear into evil Confederates at the mere utterance of his name.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Robot Pride posted:

coming from a guy that graduated from the college that literally started the civil war by firing canons on the union supply ship star of the west and has BBQ tattooed in his lip, it's not the least bit scary

any fear that could possibly come out of this situation at all is the idea of millennials breeding

Lol look at this piece of poo poo proud of representing evil and the best he can do is make vague bitching noises about "millenials".

Gonna drink some Northern Spirits to celebrate your defeat tonight. So will my son, he is beast mode.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Captain Yossarian posted:

"nice meltdown"



All you say is true. But...... Sherman was the ultimate anti hero, yet what his myth stands for is the utter destruction of the most (or second most) evil regime in modern times.

So yeah i think he was a shithead but he was a shithead who killed a lot of actual evil shitheads.

Were my son would be half as lucky

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


I meant to echo you. The rest was for the other guy.


He sounds like a republican. "B b b but [figure] said something mildly bad therefor this [terrible happening] is just as bad as [actual evil intentional deed]"

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Wtf is this bbq lip talk i dont get it

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Nooner posted:

Robot Pride has a tattoo in his lip that says "BBQ". He did this because he is from the South apparently.

Not doing much for his argument imo

Lol what a joke

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Here he is drawing up battle plans on how best to take the Alabama statehouse and burn it down.

https://i.imgur.com/a/6TM0K

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


whoflungpoop posted:

how the gently caress did you manage to become the most embarassing poster in a jastiger thread

Lol coming from you, doesnt mean much, scrub.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


whoflungpoop posted:

sorry but your reign of being the most self owning guy in gbs is over you've been impeached

its time for you to give a nixon wave on the stairs as you board your wife's revival tent sized vagina and fly away into quiet retirement

Gonna retire in texas just so I can be your next door neighbor. Will still vacation in beautiful Iowa though.


New development with my son: he can't stand to be in gray, only union blue

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


My wife is losing weight that way. She is very fit now.

As for the name, we are leaning towards Sherman Tecumseh but i am trying to push in as an option Sherman Kakarot. Kind of a secret goku

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


You live in the Union though, nerd.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


My kids are actually cute and cool and I'm super proud of them, thanks!

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


KomodoWagon posted:

John Paul isn't a perfectly bland name. John is, Paul is, John Paul is not. People are gonna think you're hardline catholics or something. No, what you really need to do is pick something that's bland but not too common so Michael is out of the question, but a name like Ray or Goku is the way to go.

Another one for Goku. Name is growing on me more and more. A general who defeats evil slave holders with kamehameha waves.


Whoflungpoo, pls stop hitting on ne. You always find my posts, and like a 5th grsde crush, you're always right there to poke at me. Its ok, youre cute too, ill go to the dance with you, you dont have to pick at me to get attention.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


whoflungpoop posted:

im telling your wife

Oooo intrigue.

My wife is pissed cuz both kids look like me and not her. Its great.

Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


Im thinking Sherman Goku is in the lead. We fill out the birth cert soon

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Jastiger
Oct 11, 2008

by FactsAreUseless


DoctorCatapult posted:

Name him Lil' Jastigator

Dont want him to get doxxed with associstion to my posting

  • Locked thread