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Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011



Celluloid Sam posted:

can i have some free stuff please

Yeah when you get married I'm getting you No Man's Sky unless you want something else

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JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot


Grimey Drawer

if you leave a good review on something thats obvious trash its againts conumer review laws and punishaple of $3000 fine or 2yrs in jail.

say goodbye to christmas rear end in a top hat

shoophobo
Aug 29, 2013

"shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"



Fallen Rib

I once bought a bathroom scale from Amazon (lol fat)
The maker sent me a free kitchen food scale as well for my "unbiased opinion".
I did not write a review.

E Equals MC Hammer
Jun 9, 2008



Celluloid Sam posted:

can i have some free stuff please

hey sid have you ever considered brain surgery

Regrettable
Jan 4, 2010


down n out posted:

These aren't even paid, you sign up for product offers and review free poo poo the merchant sends you with "honest" reviews(hint: if you don't play ball and leave crappy reviews you won't be getting anymore free poo poo)

Why would i want more poo poo products, though?

penus penus penus
Nov 8, 2014

by piss__donald


its a tough spot OP. while its certainly a neat idea, its so insanely widespread its clearly biasing product reviews. on the other hand, how do you really police it? you cant tell some company not to give stuff away and you cant tell people not to review it if you didnt pay full price. the same effect occurs when something goes on a deep sale briefly as well

also OP, bobcats are really cool, shame on you for weaponizing them

JIZZ DENOUEMENT
Oct 3, 2012



Berious posted:

I used to think online reviews were real then I discovered Clickworkers et all

It's like finding out Santa isn't real

What is clickworkers? I went to the website and it was too much nerd poo poo. Like data analytics and marketing. What's the tldr friend?

CloFan
Nov 5, 2004

The Adderall is working, and fuck if this drug doesn't feel good

I hate these reviews! Thanks for the thread.

Sid Vicious
Jan 1, 2017
Probation
Can't post for 25 days!


E Equals MC Hammer posted:

hey sid have you ever considered brain surgery

i dont think I'd be a good doctor

new phone who dis
May 24, 2007

by Lowtax


Dinosaur Gum

down n out posted:

It's true and people are becoming more aware, see this new video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdLI62JKpCk

I have to applaud steam for the new review filter and they pretty much hit the nail on the head with their explanation


Amazon review poaching by giving desperate people free poo poo is pretty drat deceptive if you ask me.

Steam is doing God's work and that sound you hear is the collective wail of hundreds of indie shovelware devs being flushed down the toilet.

Berious
Nov 13, 2005


JIZZ DENOUEMENT posted:

What is click workers? I went to the website and it was too much nerd poo poo. Like data analytics and marketing. What's the tldr friend?

They pay people pennies per job to do stupid poo poo like shill reviewing ebooks no one will ever buy, spam youtube comments, search for stupid crap on google to improve it's results. Basically anything that will make a product look like it's not the unwanted piece of poo poo that it actually is.

Roylicious
Feb 21, 2012


shoophobo posted:

I once bought a bathroom scale from Amazon (lol fat)
The maker sent me a free kitchen food scale as well for my "unbiased opinion".
I did not write a review.

This is a tough spot for a lot of people starting out (or smaller businesses) because without a lot of reviews you're not going to get a lot of sales but if you don't have sales you aren't going to get a lot of reviews...

It's not 100% borne of shadiness. Amazon in particular really puts a lot of weight on customer reviews in terms of if you win the 'buy box' or not and scales are probably a fairly competitive product.

Troposphere
Jul 11, 2005


psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

how do you get in on this i want free poo poo

Orkin Mang
Nov 1, 2007



Troposphere posted:

how do you get in on this i want free poo poo

the green river killer would go back and necrophate his bitches. but heres the thing. they interviewed ted bundy to see what his psychology was and bundy called him the River man, much better monicker imo (butim a chandler guy) and said wait on the bodies and hell be back. welll he didnt be back and it took t hem ages to catch him. hes like a bit retarded but he laid wasste to washington hey

Captain Yossarian
Feb 24, 2011



Troposphere posted:

how do you get in on this i want free poo poo

If I remember to get PMs tonight, I'll pm you

Metal Geir Skogul
Jan 15, 2011

Abandon thread!



I started leaving a few reviews, and a dude contacted me.

gently caress that noise.

wa27
Jan 14, 2007



THE DOG HOUSE posted:

its a tough spot OP. while its certainly a neat idea, its so insanely widespread its clearly biasing product reviews. on the other hand, how do you really police it?

Easy: just require that the reviewer purchased the item from Amazon. That would also eliminate pre-release reviews and people swarming review pages to lower a product's score because they hate the company (which happens to every video game on Amazon).

Faith For Two
Aug 27, 2015


Geirskogul posted:

These reviews should be banned.

im permabanned amazon.com reviewer ebaystomper58. i first started professionally reviewing products around tyool 2012. by 2014 i got really obsessed with the concept of "unbiased opinions" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "i am in no way affiliated with the seller of this product" and "I received this product discounted/free for my unbiased review" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing captchas in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of "biased" style of paid reviews was all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "review" free products to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.

Wamdoodle
May 15, 2007

Yes, it is what it looks like!

Grimey Drawer

Faith For Two posted:

im permabanned amazon.com reviewer ebaystomper58. i first started professionally reviewing products around tyool 2012. by 2014 i got really obsessed with the concept of "unbiased opinions" and tried to channel it constantly, until my thought process got really bizarre and i would repeat things like "i am in no way affiliated with the seller of this product" and "I received this product discounted/free for my unbiased review" in my head for hours, and i would get really paranoid, start seeing captchas in the corners of my eyes etc, basically prodromal schizophrenia. im now on antipsychotics. i always wondered what the kind of "biased" style of paid reviews was all about; i think it's the unconscious leaking in to the conscious, what jungian theory considered to be the cause of schizophrenic and schizotypal syptoms. i would advise all people who "review" free products to be careful because that likely means you have a predisposition to a mental illness. peace.

I really appreciate this version

Vegetable
Oct 22, 2010



Let's start a thread to crowdfund sending explosive canisters of sprinkles to product shills

Stefan Prodan
Jan 7, 2002

I deeply respect you as a human being... Some day I'm gonna make you *Mrs* Buck Turgidson!

I sell poo poo on amazon and unfortunately you are competing with tons of people who have lots of reviews, many of which are gotten like this, and there's no way to compete at all initially without seeding it with a lot of these reviews just to get the star graphic and the # of reviews up.

I would honestly love if no one had them at all and it was all just organic reviews but that just isn't the way the game is played anymore. Apparently on some Amazons sites it is, like I have heard on Amazon Japan it's not uncommon for the #1 item to have like 10 reviews and have an average of 3.8 or something because people don't think being okay deserves a 5 there like they do here, where having a 4.7 on uber will get you fired and killed.

Also when I first started I for some reason thought people would really leave me honest reviews and that's actually what I really wanted because they were like test orders of products that I was trying to figure out if I wanted to sell a lot of, and it would have been really useful to get like 100 people's honest opinions, but it's obviously basically a wink wink nudge nudge kinda thing like everyone knows. It sucks and I wish it didn't work like that but seriously good loving luck launching something on Amazon without doing it because your actual customers are gonna leave reviews at a rate of like 5% if you are SUPER lucky or have some sort of awesome e-mail followup that people respond to well, and since it's gonna be hard to get sales to begin with without reviews, 5% of a very small number is gonna take forever to get any reviews.

Lawrence Gilchrist
Mar 31, 2010



does this pay more than correct the record? i wanna do both

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Ork of Fiction
Jul 22, 2013

In paradise, your teeth will grow back. I promise!
In paradise, I'll hide my laughter. I promise!


Kuato posted:

UPS accepts some live animals, but they're confined to stuff like amphibians, reptiles and insects, etc.

https://www.ups.com/animals

I'd like to see you succeed OP, so maybe you could somehow dupe the UPS into believing the bobcats are fish or crustaceans?

WTF?? This whole time I've been drinking bobcat oil, and they're NOT fish?!?

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