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Lord Zedd-Repulsa
Jul 21, 2007

Devour a good book.

The Academy seems like an interesting place, since this is the third (?) game it's appeared in -- Towergame, the space race, and now here. I'm amazed nobody's tried to give it a cameo in Fragile Gods


Dec 5, 2005

Name: Mittens the Cat Cook
Patron: The Divine
Description: A street vendor cat who was inspired by the Divine to go on the journey west. They tug along their cart and when necessary cook for strangers or use it as a cover from enemies.
HP: 20/25
Armor: 10
Accuracy: +1
Skills: Cookery, Archery, Haggling, Chit chat, Repair
Talent: When mittens is cooking it is nigh impossible to attack her or her cart due to its near divine smell. Instead even dire enemies will be willing to sit down and have a chat over some herring noodles before they get back to killing each other. Anybody who eats Mitten's noodles owes her a debt that she sets the terms to (normally just a fair cash price).
AI Action: Cook, buy ingredients, repair the cart, shoot at threats, chit chat to customers.

As soon as a customer comes up little Mittens does her best to get a steaming bowl of noodles to them. She works hard on making sure the broth is perfectly seasoned, the noodles are just al dente, and that the fish is smoky and delicious. Presenting the noodles she declares,

"Meow, happy to serve! Meow."

Mittens watches as the tired worker consumes the noodles, a little anxious about whether he style of cooking will be appreciated in these parts. However the man seems pretty happy. Smiling she makes a bit of light conversation about the weather, the man's extended family and his job. She commiserated with him about how Petrov was a little busy at the minute but would surely join them shortly before finally getting to her point.

"Meow, now when we finish our meal we traditionally put our hands together and say 'Itadakimouse!' as a sign of appreciation to the Divine for the meal! *She watches as he clumsily attempts to mimic her* And now that you've finished I wanted ask, how do you get around in this fog! It seems pretty tricky and we keep getting turned around. Do you have any tips? Also what's the deal with this tower? Meow.

Chit chat about the fog and tower: 1d20+4 23

Edit: Added the part about itadakimouse and appreciating the divine.

Apocron fucked around with this message at Sep 22, 2016 around 23:40

Sep 5, 2011


Name: The Ravenous One
Description: Eons past, when the first rudimentary lifeform felt that it needed additional sustenance to avoid dying, a small formless entity awoke in the realms between reality. With the passing of time, as more and more creatures hungered, it grew to become The Ravenous One, always devouring and never satiated. Gaining its patronage is easy, one must simply want for it above all else, but most find out that their minds aren't fit to share the endless hunger of their new lord.
Reward:Satiation, if even for a single, perfect moment.


Name: Vaal Greymane
Patron: The Ravenous One
Description: The former shaman of a tribe of therian hunters, Vaal was the sole survivor of an elven raid. In his desire for revenge, he did what he taught many cubs to never do: he communed with The Ravenous One for its power. He now an Apostle, consumed by an endless hunger, and it's only the promise of the sweet taste of revenge that drives his steps on the Journey.
HP: 20/25
Armor: 10
Accuracy: +1

Sense Prey Vaal can feel the lifeforce of other beings, to have a rough idea of their position and general state of being
Devour Vaal can drain lifeforce from other beings to help himself or simply to hurt them. Short range, and easier on gravely wounded targets.
Spirit Magic He was a shaman, afterall. He can mostly ask for advice or small effects, since the taint of The Ravenous One drives the spirits away after a short while.
Keen Nose Wolfman, duh.
Howl By howling, he can channel The Ravenous One's voices. Needless to say, hearing what eons of hunger sounds like tends to be terrifying.
Talent: Become an avatar of The Ravenous One for a short while, and indiscriminately consume anything nearby.
AI Action: Keep going on, eat whoever and whatever bars your way.


Patron:The Ravenous One
Description: A small critter who can and will eat anything. Not too dangerous, but its bite packs quite a punch

A delicious smell arouses a stray Bigmaw's curiosity. It comes from Mittens's cart! Being a simple creature, the Bigmaw starts gnawing at it.
Bite Mittens's cart:8

LupusAter fucked around with this message at Sep 23, 2016 around 08:03

Nov 11, 2010

Name: Comrade Petrov
Patron: United Communes of Redonia
Description: A tall, well-build Farmer, Petrov is a Hero of Redonia, awarded his title for his unceasing fight against the tyrannous oppressors who keep the peasants of the world hostage. Now he faces his greatest challenge yet, to free the world from servitude. A skilled pitchfork fighter who is an expert in horticulture and oddly enough, reciting poetry.
HP: 20/25
Armor: 10
Accuracy: +1
Skills: Rabble-rousing, Fighting, Horticulture, Climbing, Poetry.
Talent: Petrov's words can rouse the unseen peasantry of the world to aid him. With this talent, a peasant or small group of peasants will be roused to step out of hiding and aid Petrov in any manner they can, to the point they'll give their lives for him and the Cause.
AI Action: Punch Lords and Merchants in the face and march on.

This tower was a difficult climb, with stone crumbling whereever he stood, let alone the harrassment from the monsters. Still, a true Hero of the People was used to harrassment by the forces of reactionaries, so Petrov pushed onwards and climbed further, trying to dodge out the way of attacks.

Climb the Tower: again: 1d20+4 12

Nov 24, 2006

Grimey Drawer

I don't have the pics but it's late and I want to get this up so here it goes...

The Patron

(insert pic of Dave Anthony in a suit here)
Not Garry Garath Production House, LLC.

The Not Garry Garath Production House, LLC (The House) was floundering: no one wanted to watch manic pixie dream warrior movies or procedural-driven scavenger shows. At the start of the year they had slightly less than $1 billion left in the bank. In a panic The House decided to build shows around unknown actors and actresses who would have broad appeal to different markets. But first they needed to know what the markets wanted.

They paid a Belorussian research firm $47 million to "conducting surveys and focus groups and use concordant voting and also algorythms and featuring statistical biometrics". The House never earmarked any money for the firm to analyze the results and the research firm was demanding an additional $119 million for that. So The House resorted to in-house, unpaid interns to figure out what the data meant.

As far as the unpaid interns were concerned they were trying to figure out the perfect star to appeal to everyone. They drew up a list of traits the perfect star would have and presented it to the casting department. The casting department blew $349 million trying to genetically create a wealthy-middle class-working poor, devote-secular-Buddhist-Protestant, quint-racial, hetero-normative male and bi-sexual tomboy-femme female in their mid-life teens.

By September The House was down to its last $226 million. They decided to gamble on hiring minor Youtube celebrities for their productions, including one to be their Apostle. This Apostle also does double-duty as the star of Untitled Apostle Project.

The House's Apostle is told up front they'll only have their wits, minor technical assistance, a talent, and $37k worth of equipment. Unknown to them they also have an army of production staff secretly recording their every move along with the movements of themselves, other Apostles, and random strangers. Should their current Apostle die they plan on moving down the list of minor Youtube celebrities until they get their wish or until they go bankrupt.

One minor footnote, The House hasn't decided if each subsequent Apostle will share a talent or if each one will have their own unique talent.

Reward: The House's specific promises will vary Apostle to Apostle but the cost of the reward is always $1 million dollars.

AI Actions: The intoxicated and out-of-touch head of The House makes impulsive purchases and hatches hair-brained schemes. The other executives and administrators try to make that work while also keeping the studio going by pinching pennies and hoping for any sort of Hail-Mary.

The Apostle

(Insert cat ear pic here)
J Miyoce

J is a former intern for The House but he quit after he discovered his true calling as a minor Youtube celebrity. His primary Youtube channel has him improving other peoples stunts or redoing failed stunts in successful ways. His most viewed video featured him using Mentos and Diet Coke to power a specially-built go-cart. This lead to an appearance on Jimmy Fallon which is how The House "discovered" J. He has a secondary Youtube channel which feature original compositions written by him and "sung" by his cat. Sometimes that means dubbing the cat, other times it means auto-tuning the cats purrs, meows, and hisses. He has a third Youtube channel that's invitation only.

J likes to wear a white fur hat shaped like a cat ear with two calico colored cat ears sticking from the sides. He never goes anywhere without having a spare and a sewing gear to repair it. The loss of the hat will make him bummed until he replaces it with something else.

HP: 20/25
Armor: 10
Accuracy: +1

Skills: Mimicking others, cooking, trivia, lesser stunts (think Jackass), video production

Reward: The House has promised J Yomincel $720 thousand dollars to spend on one TV pilot, an additional $260 thousand to spend on twelve 10-minute websclusive webisodes, and $20 thousand to start boutique production of J's Cat-Ears Ear-Cap.

Apostle Talent: After an event happens the Apostle can cut to an interview where someone has to explain their motivation for their actions. The House, the audience, and the other apostles gain an instant awareness of what was said and done.

AI Action: Each Apostle feels the pressure of having to simultaneously please a large audience and The House even if they don't say that out loud. They'll take incredible risks to please a target audience or to achieve an arbitrary goal set by The House.

The Creature(s)

(insert cartoon pic of an intern here)
Unpaid Interns

Unpaid Interns are willing to perform any task ordered of them; it might be wear a mascot costume to scare birds, it might be get pecked at by birds to protect a mascot costume from getting damaged. Theirs is not to question why, theirs is but to endure poor working and living conditions along with unrealistic expectations of their performance. They frequently quit after charging up too much debt, performing that one task too many, or sustaining near-fatal injuries. The House doesn't particularly mind the turnover since they consider interns disposable.

AI Action: Unpredictable. They might be performing their tasks as ordered. They might have be letting off steam since they never turned in their badge even though they were fired last week. They might be on mind-altering substances to try and relax and enjoy themselves.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.

Cacula Weklin, Monster of Regent Dorakel of the Weklin Polyregency

The Cacula pulled back from the shielded man, it's instincts warring between calculated annoyances and pressing its advantage. On a whim, it wheels back, taking a passing swipe at him with its spurs - and getting a little too close for comfort!
Swiping at Rostram = 4

paper bag with a face
Jun 2, 2007
Fighting bum at a time.

Name: Rostram, The Boar of Stasha
Patron: The Kingdom of Stasha
HP: 15/25
Armor: 10
Accuracy: +1
Skills: Abnormal Strength, Leadership, Armor, CHARGE!, Brewing
Talent: Lionheart: The Boar lets loose a mighty cry and performs an act of great valor, inspiring all who see it! (He gets a free action that is an automatic critical hit; any Apostle/ally who sees it gets ~bonuses~)

Rostram let out a grunt of exertion/annoyance as the bird-thing pecked as his helmet. "Accursed pest!", he shouted, "You wish for a taste of Stashan steel? Very well!" He swung his greatmaul in a great arc towards the Cacula.

Perhaps the sight of their brother sailing o'er the horizon would discourage any other pesky flyers.

Abnormal Strength: 1d20+3+1 = 18


Music Theory
Aug 7, 2013

Avatar by Garden Walker

Oh, cool, I was about to post in here like "If you haven't posted your action by tomorrow morning I will AI you for a turn" but it looks like I won't have to. I'll update tomorrow morning, since I'll probably be busy tonight.

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