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Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



The Seahawks are 9.5 point favorites against the 49ers at home this weekend.

That seems really high for a team that can't score touchdowns.

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FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Kalli posted:

The Seahawks are 9.5 point favorites against the 49ers at home this weekend.

That seems really high for a team that can't score touchdowns.
It's a bettor's wet dream

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

What happened to cutler last night. It looks like the team team told him to go away after that int.

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

Week 2 Quick Reads: Fitzpatrick Edition

http://www.footballoutsiders.com/quick-reads/2016/week-2-quick-reads

quote:

Bortles' two touchdowns both came with Jacksonville down 30-plus points in the fourth quarter. I'm stealing this stat from Scott Kacsmar, because it's insane: Blake Bortles is now the NFL's all-time leader in garbage time touchdown passes, 21 touchdowns while down by multiple scores in the second half in games his team has lost. He breaks a tie with Johnny Unitas and Tom Brady, who had 20 each. Unitas played in 211 NFL games. Brady is momentarily stuck at 223. Bortles has played 32.
:stare:

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



euphronius posted:

What happened to cutler last night. It looks like the team team told him to go away after that int.

Per Fiz a few posts up, Cutler apparently hurt his hand in week 1 and a lot of his throws were dogshit last night. After the meltdown went into full effect, they got Cutler off the field as soon as humanly possible probably because he injured his hand worse and also possibly because he Jay Cutlered his way into the hearts and minds of bears fans and teammates.




Haha, wowwwww

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.


hmm this shows Ryan Tannehill as a top ten QB

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president

I love my mascara wearing warrior of christ QB

Tom Sellout
May 27, 2011

$240 million of Johnny Walker Blue and Throatzilla's services.

Grittybeard posted:

Whatever gets him going, he's been 2015 Melvin Gordon disappointing so far, without a bad offensive line to blame.

I think that's an overreaction. There are a few reasons for his struggles. For one, the line got beaten up in the run game week 1 against the Giants. Oliver Vernon constantly blew by La'el Collins, Doug Free couldn't block JPP, and no one could move Damon Harrison. The line was much better in week 2 but the Cowboys love running the ball into stacked 7 and 8 man boxes. They knocked that poo poo off a bit against the Redskins and got Elliott some impressive runs where he flashed the talent that got him picked #4 overall. Unsurprisingly, running a rookie into 8 and 7 man boxes all keying on the run has led to some major struggles. Elliott is best when Dallas can spread the defense out, and he make lightning cuts up the field. Outside zone all day long.

He'll be fine, he just needs to continue developing some patience, and Dak has to continue to make defenses pay for stacking against the run. He didn't much during the Giants, but he did during the Redskins. Both Dak and Elliott will improve and the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl.

Tom Sellout fucked around with this message at 15:50 on Sep 20, 2016

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

davecrazy posted:

Legit feel bad for that dude and his kid/grandson whatever it is.

You want to see a football game and two assholes have to land on you.

I saw a lady get her neck broken at a mets game 8 or 9 years ago because two fighting douchebags landed on her.

Best part of being a season ticket holder, the usher in my section knows me by name. I wave him over and tell him some douche nugget is being a problem he's going to take my word over some rando stubhubber and get security to toss their rear end. There's also like 10 people who sit on any side of me 3 rows deep who know me, my wife, and my kid. God forbid some outsider starts poo poo I'll have a dozen regulars get my back.

gently caress both those dudes in that video.

GiantsFan.txt

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
https://twitter.com/JonHeathNFL/status/778095628303949826/photo/1

:hellyeah:

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


I wonder if the NFL will ever revert their nonsensical one helmet rule.

fishing with the fam
Feb 29, 2008

Durr
Take it with a grain of salt, but local Chicago sports radio is saying the Bears are preparing for a "lengthy period without Jay Cutler".

The Bears are drafting a quarterback next year. Here we go. Back into the QB hinterlands where Craig Krenzels and Cade McNowns prowl the shadows.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

shyduck posted:

I wonder if the NFL will ever revert their nonsensical one helmet rule.
I'm wondering if they already did since the Rams wore helmets with the original color scheme on Sunday

Or does that not count

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Mike Tanier writes about the Seahawks' offensive line: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2664569-how-to-survive-behind-the-seahawks-o-line-if-your-name-is-russell-wilson

quote:

Okung, Unger and Lynch are all gone. Wilson has a sprained ankle that has reduced his mobility from "Michael Vick 2004" to "slightly friskier Joe Flacco." That's a catastrophic problem, because the Seahawks offensive line currently consists of:

Left tackle Bradley Sowell, a former undrafted free agent, longtime backup and budget-friendly free agent replacement for Okung. Sowell made so many mistakes against the Rams that I lost count at 11. L.A. defensive end Robert Quinn routinely beat him around the edge, causing Sowell himself to slam into Wilson at one point. Sowell got crossed up during blitzes and ended up blocking nobody. Sowell's pass protection strategy is to take a hyper-exaggerated kick step to the outside to avoid getting beaten. Defenders will begin using that kick step to beat him inside once they grow bored of beating him to the edge anyway.

Left guard Mark Glowinski, a second-year fourth-round pick. On Sunday, he got bull-rushed by defensive tackle Dominique Easley and knocked down in front of Wilson's face by DE Cam Thomas. And as for Aaron Donald, he did too many awful things to Glowinski to list. On one play, Donald took on a Glowinski-Sowell double-team and powered right through them on a stunt to lay a hit on Wilson. Eugene Sims, the unblocked defender who was supposed to provide the pass rush on the play, just stopped and watched with an "I guess they won't be needing me" posture.

Center Justin Britt, aka former heir apparent to Okung Britt, starting right tackle Britt and starting left guard Britt. He could be seen Sunday on the ground at least once per quarter, having either gotten pushed aside (Michael Brockers tossed him away like a bag of marshmallows at one point) or simply slipped in the act of trying to reach a linebacker.

Right guard J'Marcus Webb, an almost legendarily bad offensive lineman (ask Bears fans about him). Webb's specialty is getting pile-driven into the backfield on running plays.

Right tackle Garry Gilliam, a converted tight end and offensive line coach Tom Cable's pet project for two years running. Gilliam gets beaten by speed rushers and by defenders on the backside of running plays frequently. But his specialty is trading off a dangerous defensive end to the blocking back so he can engage a defender he thinks might be blitzing. Nobody blocks nobody on a pass play quite like Gilliam.

.....

The Seahawks need to think of their offensive linemen as untrained 18th century cannon fodder whose best trait is their ability to inspire overconfidence in their opponents. Screen passes, draws and misdirection plays can use a defense's own pursuit against it. If offensive linemen whiff on their defenders on every pass play, it won't look suspicious when they do it to sneak off and block for a screen.

oldgoatmon
Jul 4, 2004

Ohhh Bitch, You Got Jacked Bitch

shyduck posted:

I wonder if the NFL will ever revert their nonsensical one helmet rule.

I agree get rid of all helmets

CowboyKid
May 29, 2008

The Kraken posted:

I think that's an overreaction. There are a few reasons for his struggles. For one, the line got beaten up in the run game week 1 against the Giants. Oliver Vernon constantly blew by La'el Collins, Doug Free couldn't block JPP, and no one could move Damon Harrison. The line was much better in week 2 but the Cowboys love running the ball into stacked 7 and 8 man boxes. They knocked that poo poo off a bit against the Redskins and got Elliott some impressive runs where he flashed the talent that got him picked #4 overall. Unsurprisingly, running a rookie into 8 and 7 man boxes all keying on the run has led to some major struggles. Elliott is best when Dallas can spread the defense out, and he make lightning cuts up the field. Outside zone all day long.

He'll be fine, he just needs to continue developing some patience, and Dak has to continue to make defenses pay for stacking against the run. He didn't much during the Giants, but he did during the Redskins. Both Dak and Elliott will improve and the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl.

Jason Witten was getting schooled by Vernon all game. Why they think Witten is still an above average blocker is beyond me. Dude gets a holding call every game almost.

Forever_Peace
May 7, 2007

Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah
Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah
N: Seems like Houston fans I know are "cautiously optimistic" about their trip to Foxboro this Thursday.

V: I saw him bound into the library compartment where I sat reading, and his face at once betrayed him. "He is calling! He is calling! I hear him! We must go!" As he spoke he took his ivory image from the table, pocketed it, and seized my arm in an effort to drag me up the companionway to the deck. In a moment I understood that he meant to open the hatch and plunge with me into the water outside, a vagary of suicidal and homicidal mania for which I was scarcely prepared. As I hung back and attempted to soothe him he grew more violent, saying: "Come now—do not wait until later; it is better to repent and be forgiven than to defy and be condemned." Then I tried the opposite of the soothing plan, and told him he was mad—pitifully demented. But he was unmoved, and cried: "If I am mad, it is mercy. May the gods pity the man who in his callousness can remam sane to the hideous end! Come and be mad whilst he still calls with mercy!"


darkest timeline darkest timeline darkest timeline darkest timeline dark

blue squares
Sep 28, 2007

The Kraken posted:

Both Dak and Elliott will improve and the Cowboys will win the Super Bowl.

shyduck
Oct 3, 2003


sam bradford lmao posted:

I'm wondering if they already did since the Rams wore helmets with the original color scheme on Sunday

Or does that not count
It's just a sticker swap. Same with what Denver did.

Badfinger
Dec 16, 2004

Timeouts?!

We'll take care of that.

axeil posted:

:hfive:

I'm starting to hope. Please someone tell me why I should go back to thinking we're going 4-12.

They play New York, Dallas, and Redskins 6 times this season. That's a good way to gain more than 2 more victories.

Ghost Dog
Aug 17, 2016

joe flacco is not particularly slow in the pocket and i think if he had a different face people would stop pretending he is. well, he wasnt before the knee injury anyway but its been a weird meme since he was a rookie which is odd considering how athletic he was



Ghost Dog fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Sep 20, 2016

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

shyduck posted:

It's just a sticker swap. Same with what Denver did.
Ah that's right. When New England wore their throwbacks a while back on Thanksgiving, their helmets were a different color too.

In any case it's a dumb rule and I don't understand the reasoning behind it.

Volkerball
Oct 15, 2009

by FactsAreUseless

sam bradford lmao posted:

Ah that's right. When New England wore their throwbacks a while back on Thanksgiving, their helmets were a different color too.

In any case it's a dumb rule and I don't understand the reasoning behind it.

It's because they want every player using the same helmet they are comfortable with all year round. A new helmet every week increases the risk of a head injury due to it not being fitted right or not being broken in.

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

FizFashizzle posted:

Jay cutler has tendon damage in his throwing thumb, which is basically the most low key of qb killers.

Coach Killer KO'd by QB Killer Quagmire

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Volkerball posted:

It's because they want every player using the same helmet they are comfortable with all year round. A new helmet every week increases the risk of a head injury due to it not being fitted right or not being broken in.

gently caress safety, gimme dem colors

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

Volkerball posted:

It's because they want every player using the same helmet they are comfortable with all year round. A new helmet every week increases the risk of a head injury due to it not being fitted right or not being broken in.
Fair enough

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Want PFF's Top and Bottom 5 players at each position?

No? Too bad

quote:

Quarterback

Top 5:
1. Carson Wentz 90.8
2. Andrew Luck 87.9
3. Eli Manning 87.3
4. Sam Bradford 87.2
5. Ryan Fitzpatrick 86.8

Bottom 5:
1. Robert Griffin III 40.2
2. Aaron Rodgers 43.8
3. Blaine Gabbert 44.2
4. Marcus Mariota 45.1
5. Case Keenum 50.9

Runningback

Top 5:
1. David Johnson 84.3
2. DeAngelo Williams 82.4
3. Latavius Murray 79.8
4. Melvin Gordon 77.1
5a. Matt Forte 76.1
5b. Theo Riddick 76.1

Bottom 5:
1. Jeremy Langford 42.1
2. LeGarrette Blount 47.1
3. Ezekiel Elliot 47.8
4. Darren Sproles 49.1
5. T.J. Yeldon 49.9

Fullback

Top 5:
1. Jamize Olawale 83.8
2. Andy Janovich 83.1
3. Patrick DiMarco 78.6
4a. Kyle Juszczyk 77.5
4b. Malcolm Johnson 77.5

Bottom 5:
1. Paul Lasike 36.0
2. Derek Watt 36.8
3. Zach Line 40.4
4. Mike Tolbert 42.6
5. Jalston Fowler 43.8

Wide Receiver

Top 5:
1. Stefon Diggs 91.2
2. Larry Fitzgerald 89.6
3. Kelvin Benjamin 83.8
4. Julio Jones 82.8
5. DeAndre Hopkins 82.5

Bottom 5:
1. Tavon Austin 42.6
2. Albert Wilson 43.6
3. Davante Adams 44.7
4. Tyler Lockett 46.6
5. Darrius Heyward-Bey 47.1

Tight End

Top 5:
1. Greg Olsen 83.2
2. Martellus Bennett 82.8
3. Virgil Green 82.5
4. Delanie Walker 82.3
5. Jacob Tamme 82.0

Bottom 5:
1. Jesse James 39.4
2. Coby Fleener 42.1
3. Ed Dickson 42.7
4. Kellen Davis 43.5
5. Antonio Gates 44.3

Offensive Tackle

Top 5:
1. Riley Reiff 86.5
2. Joe Staley 86.3
3. Donald Penn 85.9
4. Jack Conklin 84.8
5. Lane Johnson 84.3

Bottom 5:
1. Bobby Massie 31.6
2. Garry Gilliam 34.2
3. Matt Kalil 36.9
4. Andre Smith 39.1
5. Doug Free 39.7

Offensive Guard

Top 5:
1. Marshal Yanda 87.6
2. Larry Warford 85.3
3. Allen Barbre 84.8
4. Kelechi Osemele 84.6
5. Justin Pugh 84.3

Bottom 5:
1. J'Marcus Webb 34.6
2. Chris Chester 35.5
3. Brandon Fusco 38.1
4. Zane Beadles 39.9
5. La'el Collins 42.1

Center

Top 5:
1. Matt Paradis 90.7
2. Alex Mack 84.1
3. Brandon Linder 83.2
4. Max Unger 81.2
5. Travis Swanson 80.9

Bottom 5:
1. Jason Kelce 41.3
2. Daniel Kilgore 41.6
3. Cameron Erving 42.8
4. Mitch Morse 44.1
5. Tim Barnes 45.5

Cornerback

Top 5:
1. Josh Norman 91.6
2. Joe Haden 85.4
3a. Casey Hayward 84.3
3b. Jimmie Ward 84.3
5. Janoris Jenkins 84.0

Bottom 5:
1. Perrish Cox 33.6
2. Troy Hill 36.1
3. Darrelle Revis 36.2
4. Sterling Moore 36.8
5. Ken Crawley 36.9

Safety

Top 5:
1. Eric Reid 86.5
2. Tony Jefferson 86.4
3. Harrison Smith 86.2
4. Eric Weddle 86.0
5. A.J. Bouye 85.0

Bottom 5:
1. Patrick Chung 38.2
2. Reggie Nelson 40.8
3. Chris Conte 42.2
4. Duke Williams 42.6
5. Shawn Williams 43.7

Linebacker

Top 5:
1. Preston Brown 90.1
2. Vincent Rey 89.0
3. Zach Brown 88.8
4. K.J. Wright 88.2
5. Alec Ogletree 87.4

Bottom 5:
1. De'Vondre Campbell 30.3
2. Tahir Whitehead 34.0
3. James Laurinatis 34.9
4. Manti Te'o 36.4
5. Malcolm Smith 37.2

"Interior Defenders"

Top 5:
1. Aaron Donald 94.8
2. Ndamukong Suh 84.5
3. Mike Daniels 83.1
4. Gerald McCoy 82.9
5. Michael Brockers 82.1

Bottom 5:
1. Tyrone Crawford 34.2
2a. Clinton McDonald 37.2
2b. Kendall Langford 37.2
4. Ziggy Hood 39.2
5. David Parry 39.7

"Edge Defenders"

Top 5:
1. Von Miller 88.2
2. Jerry Hughes 86.0
3. Brandon Graham 85.1
4. Nick Perry 84.3
5. Whitney Mercilus 83.3

Bottom 5:
1. Clay Matthews 37.4
2. Erik Walden 38.0
3. Kony Ealy 39.1
4. Wallace Gilberry 40.0
5. Jason Jones 40.8

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!
They have so many things to explain.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

quote:

2. Andy Janovich 83.1
:cool:

Forever_Peace
May 7, 2007

Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah
Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah

Kalli posted:

Want PFF's Top and Bottom 5 players at each position?

No? Too bad

lmao.

Good thing they were precise to the decimal there, I was worried for a second that their bullshit numerology wasn't sufficiently specific.

GOOD TIMES ON METH
Mar 17, 2006

Fun Shoe
Going to go out on a limb and say that DeAngelo Williams wasn't the second worst RB in the league last week.

That Jesse James one was weird too, he had a few good catches and looked (to me) like he was doing well blocking the edge

Forever_Peace
May 7, 2007

Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah
Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah
lol Bradley Sowell isn't in their bottom 5.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

If you extend the list to the top ten QB's you'll see that PFF is actually very accurate

https://twitter.com/pff/status/778080751954890752

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo
Maybe PFF does these just for clicks and doesn't really give a poo poo about how flawed their formula is

Detroit_Dogg
Feb 2, 2008
Aaron Rodgers is gay and lame and oh please cum in me Aaron PLEASE I NEED IT OH STAFFORD YOUR COCK IS NOT WORTHY ONLY THE GAYEST RODGERS PRICK CAN SATISFY MY DESPERATE THROAT
Seems good to me. Clay Matthews is trash.

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
I am eating some empanadas for lunch and I gotta say, savory and flaky pastries filled with meats and spices are the best food regardless of what culture they come from :)

Febreeze
Oct 24, 2011

I want to care, butt I dont
Why is Marshall Newhouse not in the bottom 5 offensive tackles

I watched him singlehandedly get Eli sacked and then sack-fumbled, and then get a huge holding penalty to kill one of our best drives yesterday, and that's just what I noticed offhand

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

Feels good to have the AFC East's best QB. Science bitch.

Ehud
Sep 19, 2003

football.

Pron on VHS posted:

I am eating some empanadas for lunch and I gotta say, savory and flaky pastries filled with meats and spices are the best food regardless of what culture they come from :)

I ate Thai food. It was a cashew chili stir fry w/ chicken and a spring roll.

I'll post again in a bit when I'm taking a painful, burning dump.

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Forever_Peace
May 7, 2007

Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah
Shoe do do do do do do do
Shoe do do do do do do yeah

Forever_Peace posted:

lol Bradley Sowell isn't in their bottom 5.



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