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Harakiri Potter
Oct 18, 2004

REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY


back in the mid 90's i volunteered to fill sandbags in iowa during some heavy flooding there. i was bussed out there, in a packed blue bird school bus and immediately put to work reinforcing dikes along an oxbow of the missouri. it was hard work to do for free, but i love this country. at one point we were pretty much an island, having camped up on a huge berm, in the pouring rain, to awake to seeing swirling, dirty water loaded with window frames and mailboxes and a few dead cows. it was nuts. then it hailed. big rear end hail stones clunking down on broken sheds and the front end loaders.

so two weeks of this and cleanup work and i'm just praying for a flush toilet and thinking about home. up comes a big disaster aid truck, the people who take your blood and give it away to africans or charge a kidney if you have a rare blood type (i'm super rare, a/b neg) and these guys were like "hey who wants to give us some of your blood lol?!?" so i was like MOLON LABE and asked my cohorts to abstain from giving their blood to these "non profit" poseurs.

some dudes give their blood and get a cookie. while the blood thieves were setting up, they put out a table with coffee and donuts. so i went over to get some coffee bc i haven't had any in like, a day (this one guy really screwed up my latte earlier in the week) and this whiny little dude is like "that's a dollar".

and i'm like "this lovely coffee is a dollar?"

"yes sir"

seriously?

"yes"

so i threw mudballs at their poo poo until they fled. a few hours later, an onawa police car showed up, with a cop that turned out to be into rock music and arrested me. he drove me to a pizza hut first. i bought him the salad bar and we ate and talked ultimate frisbee and hunting and then i got thrown in jail for the night and released after no charges were filed. btw monana county jail isn't really that bad imho, good continental style breakfast, too

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Harakiri Potter
Oct 18, 2004

REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY


SpaghetioSexNoises posted:

I volunteered at the special olympics for 2 years. I did not try to bang them.

thank you for your service, without people like you, my brother, who is a retard power lifter, would not have a chance

Harakiri Potter
Oct 18, 2004

REACH HEAVEN THROUGH VIOLENCE BABY


the best part of working a volunteer job is when you are forced to deal with someone in the organization that is insufferable and you quit.

it's very liberating. you can even call people names. like "gently caress you, stan. you're a micromanaging scum buggering toad raper!"

stan was this polish dude that was over enthusiastic about things like unloading trucks and would practice mma moves on people and spaz out sometimes. he drank like 4 pots of coffee a day. he's now a scientologist and is like a chief dude over in europe.

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