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Jesus is recorded as having a dong in his time on earth, and given that he ascended bodily into heaven I'd expect it's still attached. Jesus=God within the whole trinity thing, therefore God has a ding dong. qed 
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Sep 21, 2016 22:01
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"What is the official position of church x on abortion?" is a fine question if someone is genuinely curious. "Here's why church x's position is dumb and bad," is going to go to poo poo real fast.
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Sep 22, 2016 16:25
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Mo Tzu posted:thanks for giving me a good idea on a new research topic; buddhist and christian peasant revolts, the ways in which religious ideology influences revolutionary action. i'll work on that after i write my essay comparing and contrasting the life and work of ignacio ellacuria and takagi kenmyo Keep me posted if/when you do this, it is extremely my jam.
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Sep 24, 2016 23:40
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Baudolino posted:For a long time i tougth of the holy spirit as a pretty straigthforward metaphor for the good social vibes in a congregation worshipping together,no more, no less. But thats clearly heresy. So the next question is, should we think of the holy spirit as a entity with will, or more like a force of nature we can call upon trough prayer etc? Is deffo a "person" within the trinity, though how exactly that works is *mysterious*, and the Bible by itself doesn't go into a lot of detail. The Chinese translation along the line of "Holy Spirit Wind" made it sound very impersonal, which helped Taiping doctrine regarding the Holy Spirit get very weird/blasphemous.
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Oct 6, 2016 18:39
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HEY GAL posted:praying to saint jude doesn't mean you've given up, it means you believe things are difficult and suck right now. Who is the patron saint of "everything's going great right now, let's keep it up"?
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Oct 28, 2016 21:22
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System Metternich posted:I wish my church did bowling nights There should be Mario Kart after mass. It is easier to evade the blue shell than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven.
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Nov 7, 2016 22:44
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Mo Tzu posted:"Is Jesus A Twink" - the greatest thread in the history of forums, locked by a moderator after 12,239 pages of heated debate, otter, why is this even a question
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Nov 8, 2016 20:06
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HEY GAL posted:well i prayed to god for things to go well with this English guy i am seeing and now we agreed that we'll get married to get me out of the US so i am engaged now Congratulations!
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Nov 9, 2016 16:07
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HEY GAL posted:
Please tell me the Cathars are making a comeback
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Nov 14, 2016 22:58
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You don't ask saints to help you, you ask them to put in a good word for you with God who is the only one who can help you. Praying to Mary is super effective because the nice young Jewish man who lived at home until he was thirty isn't going to say no to his mother.
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Nov 16, 2016 21:41
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Keep Christianity Weird
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Nov 17, 2016 19:02
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We named our newest babby after a pagan goddess, that's probably breaking a rule somewhere.
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Nov 19, 2016 02:32
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Smoking Crow posted:The Council of Nicea did not pick the books of the Bible how is bible formed
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Nov 29, 2016 04:04
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Tuxedo Catfish posted:Well, I mean, transhumanism is the idea that humanity's form and subjection to suffering are wrong and can be corrected. That clearly doesn't encompass every way of thinking about trans* issues, and obviously it'd be insensitive to act like the other ways don't exist, but is it offensive just to acknowledge the overlap? Theoretically maybe somebody could pull that off, but no way the sort of dudes that identify as transhumanist have the social awareness to do it. You know how the Pharaohs had two crowns to symbolize upper and lower Egypt? Transhumanist seminarians should get two fedoras.
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Dec 13, 2016 21:03
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The Phlegmatist posted:i'm a Christian from the second century and what is this Much later Christians would dust off the same exact argument to convince the Aztecs that their gods were fake and/or lame.
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Dec 14, 2016 03:01
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pidan posted:Ohhh gently caress this. I really don't plan on getting married in the church, so this really makes me doubt my participation. Dear gay Catholics I think I get it now... Most cradle Catholics don't really sweat this kind of stuff, if they even know about it. No one ever hassled me about getting married in Vegas.
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Dec 20, 2016 16:49
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StashAugustine posted:I'm pretty sure you can get married in the Church but not in a church? Idk someone correct me if I'm wrong I guess? I was told in Catholic school that you can get married at sea by the captain if you aren't going to be making landfall to get married by a priest any time soon. 
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Dec 20, 2016 17:13
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StashAugustine posted:I was thinking The African Queen Yeah, it's like how anyone can baptize without a priest but it should only be done that way in an emergency.
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Dec 20, 2016 18:15
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The Phlegmatist posted:
A moment later, a mouse runs away with the host.
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Dec 21, 2016 16:40
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But how are their hats??
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Dec 22, 2016 17:56
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Mr Enderby posted:While we're all arguing, can we settle the filioque issue? Also is the Immaculate Conception real, and are good works are necessary for salvation? I reckon Jesus had two natures, but both of them were an indistinguishable mixture of divine and human. A nature is a nature, you can't say it's only half.
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Jan 7, 2017 03:39
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So the Imp Zone just had a run in with scripture https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3804982#post468228938 The Phlegmatist posted:bombardier beetles (who will squirt burning hot caustic crap all over you) and fig wasps (which caused Aristotle to be like "this is a fruit that spontaneously produces wasps that's scary"), the predatory cone snails that can kill you with insulin (conus geographus), the pistol shrimp that kills its prey with the sound of its snap (which, very briefly, causes a cavitation bubble almost as hot as the surface of the sun) and whatever the heck is up with kangaroo balls Something can be both awesome and accidental, like my daughter.
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Jan 12, 2017 02:01
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The Phlegmatist posted:might want to crosspost it to the japanese expats thread I'm learning Chinese so the kanji is the only part I can work with.  Looks like maybe something about secrets of scriptural divination that have been sealed for 2000 years and finally revealed in this shocking book. Nothing that seems to refer to China. Hopefully we can find some Japan goon to solve this one for us.
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Jan 14, 2017 03:44
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Just sit alone on top of a pillar in the desert and if God wants you to eat He'll send tasty locusts.
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Jan 17, 2017 00:39
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Scrree posted:sweater candy I know it's just a typo but as soon as my wife comes home I'm gonna try saying, "C'mon girl, lemme have some of that sweater candy." 
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Jan 18, 2017 02:35
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Devil Healer$ the $ is critical here
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Jan 20, 2017 03:19
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The Phlegmatist posted:I've been reading A Confederacy of Dunces and it's kinda freaky how on-the-nose it is about people who post about Catholicism online. The main character is a 30 year old unemployed loser living with his mom who uses his extensive knowledge of Thomas Aquinas to cast moral judgment upon everyone he meets while ignoring the moral degeneracy in his own life. Oh, and of course he really hates the dreaded modernist pop culture and wishes everything would just go back to the 13th century. This poo poo's like r/Catholicism: The Book, I love it. So bummed that none of the attempts at a movie adaptation ever got off the ground.
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Jan 23, 2017 21:33
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HEY GAIL posted:i believe that is p-mack Nah, I know a bunch about 19th century religious rebellions, but not a whole lot about the actual beliefs themselves outside of that context. I'm mostly familiar with yin yang theory being used to justify awful misogyny.
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Jan 27, 2017 15:56
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Senju Kannon posted:comparing falun gong to wahabbism is kinda hosed, considering one is a religious group persecuted in its country of origin and the other funds terrorism Yeah, but in the spirit of charity I think what they were going for is that neither accurately represents the mainstream (whatever that means  ) of those belief systems.
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Jan 29, 2017 18:29
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I LIKE COOKIE posted:But would Jesus die for a grain of sand that contained a tiny universe full of life, and human beings? I would argue yes. I don't think its compatible with the Nicene Creed, which is a pretty common Christianity litmus test. I'll let the thread experts figure out which 1800 year old heresy you just resurrected here. Its fine by me if you want to identify as Christian, though, I'll take weird ideas on the nature of the Trinity over prosperity gospel any day.
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Feb 3, 2017 22:34
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Ceciltron posted:Why is there a japanese dude in there, he doesn't strike me as orthodox. He converted, may have been introduced to Orthodoxy by Russian exiles in Harbin. Japan does have its own small Orthodox church.
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Feb 5, 2017 17:01
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Private businesses get restricted because we don't live in the perfectly spherical libertarian world, but one with a very specific history of what happened when we didn't have those kinds of rules. Like to analogize there's no reason being wrong about history in general should be criminal, but Germany has laws saying you can't deny the Holocaust because their past requires making that an exception.
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Feb 7, 2017 15:34
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It also leads to a situation where the cake shop that does sell the cake gets boycotted by bigots in favor of the one that doesn't. Plenty of Southern lunch counter owners would have gladly served black customers and taken their money, but it would have cost them their white clientele. Coercion comes in other flavors than governmental, and leaving the decision to individuals doesn't necessarily mean making that decision a freer one.
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Feb 7, 2017 16:58
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The Phlegmatist posted:Yeah, pretty much this. Remember that anti-miscegenation laws were found unconstitutional in the US only fifty years ago. While it was long unenforceable due to Loving , Alabama's constitutional prohibition of interracial marriage wasn't removed until 2000. In a referendum opposed by 41% of voters.
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Feb 7, 2017 18:54
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my dad posted:What is a circle jerk? a bunch of dudes get together and accomplish nothing of substance while making themselves feel good
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Feb 8, 2017 03:18
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Senju Kannon posted:actually guy orgasms have a lot of substance, haven't you seen that amazon review for giant boxes of kleenex You know in cartoons where a guy has no money and when he opens his wallet there's a puff of dust and then a fly starts buzzing around? Yeah.
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Feb 8, 2017 03:59
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I like the case where a town sued a plague of locusts, and the public defender got them off on the grounds that God had explicitly commanded them to be fruitful and multiply.
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Feb 13, 2017 15:02
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HEY GAIL posted:this is what their art looks like. Jesus says to love your brother as yourself >> the Crusades A frog pees with his pants around his ankles >> whatever the hell is going on now
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Feb 17, 2017 16:18
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HEY GAIL posted:>tells priest his ideas Hmm, why would the weird cryptofascist want to avoid my church where the Nigerian priest preaches to the congregation of Filipino and Hispanic immigrants.
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Feb 20, 2017 04:15
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Senju Kannon posted:
Regardless of who was rightfully king of France, the English tactics by that point of the Hundred Year's War involved lots of gratuitous murder and harassment of innocent peasants even by contemporary standards, so good for Joan I say.
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Feb 20, 2017 17:55
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