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Let's give this another go, last week had some funny takes! Here's a blank format for you: Texans at Patriots Cardinals at Bills Raiders at Titans Redskins at Giants Browns at Dolphins Ravens at Jaguars Lions at Packers Broncos at Bengals Vikings at Panthers Rams at Buccaneers 49ers at Seahawks Jets at Chiefs Chargers at Colts . Steelers at Eagles Bears at Cowboys Falcons at Saints My picks: Texans at Patriots - The Patriots will not lose to an AFC South team while Belichick still possesses the true Necronomicon Cardinals at Bills - Rob Ryan is a bad defensive coordinator and the Cardinals are good Raiders at Titans - I'm not a Mariota believer Redskins at Giants - Skins haven't won in NY since 2011. Not going to start on Sunday. Season will be effectively over, just a matter of seeing who can survive the fallout. Browns at Dolphins - The Browns Ravens at Jaguars - No real feeling on this one, I just don't trust the Jags Lions at Packers - Can't keep a good QB down forever Broncos at Bengals - Red Ryder hands the defending champs a loss Vikings at Panthers - No Purple Jesus, no W on the road in Carolina. Rams at Buccaneers - Meh 49ers at Seahawks - Seahawks will be fine as long as they don't play the Rams Jets at Chiefs - Andy Reid will celebrate by eating pizza Chargers at Colts - Charges offense mandhandles a bad Colts defense Steelers at Eagles - Antonio Brown is going to twerk all over Eastern PA Bears at Cowboys - Bears bad Falcons at Saints - Drew Brees can still muster enough mojo at home to pull this off.
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Sep 21, 2016 01:59
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Texans at Patriots - Patriots at home, better coached, will figure out a way to win. Cardinals at Bills - Cardinals worked out their juju, rex is a dead man walking. Raiders at Titans -  upset special The Raiders nonstopping force v. the Titans' immoveable objectRedskins at Giants - Josh Norman watches helpless from the other side of the field Browns at Dolphins - print the shirts Ravens at Jaguars - Jags are toast Lions at Packers - Green Bay bounces back Broncos at Bengals - Tough place to play, enough film out there on  , Andey Daltrone Vikings at Panthers - Sam Bradford comes back to Earth hard this week Rams at Buccaneers - They're not playing the Seahawks, so the Rams are garbo again 49ers at Seahawks - Seahawks are paper tigers, but the niners are paper bullshit Jets at Chiefs - I believe Chargers at Colts - Hardest game this week. Going with the home team. Take the over. . Steelers at Eagles - Wentz has thrived against two of the worst defenses in the league. How will he do against constant head shots after the whistle? Bears at Cowboys - Bears are hella bad Falcons at Saints - Some Dumb Bullshit Will Happen In This Game
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Sep 21, 2016 02:22
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Texans at Patriots I just can't see a third string qb do well against that defense Cardinals at Bills David Johnson is going to shred buffalo Raiders at Titans Titans bitch Redskins at Giants Kirk is bad Browns at Dolphins just seems right Ravens at Jaguars Gus Bradley is a bad coach on a bad team Lions at Packers the trauma of losing to the Titans haunts the lions for another week Broncos at Bengals Andey Vikings at Panthers those linebackers are going to murder Bradford Rams at Buccaneers Charles Sims breakout game 49ers at Seahawks lol San Fran Jets at Chiefs the jets are really really good Chargers at Colts Indy has no dbs Steelers at Eagles the eagles won't be able to keep up with Big Ben Bears at Cowboys jay cutler will carry the Bears to victory Falcons at Saints brees
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Sep 21, 2016 02:33
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Texans at Patriots - Can't keep America down. Cardinals at Bills - Top 3 team vs bottom 3 team with lame duck coach. Raiders at Titans - Titans haven't looked good, Raiders offense at least exists but this is admittedly a tossup due to Titans D. Redskins at Giants - Giants front 7 are going to eat Cousins alive. Browns at Dolphins - The better of two bad options. Ravens at Jaguars - Jags are underrated, Ravens overrated. Lions at Packers - Rodgers is gonna come into this game angry, will play very well. Broncos at Bengals - A hunch. Broncos D will probably make a fool of me. Vikings at Panthers - Similar teams but Carolina is a QB better. Rams at Buccaneers - Buccs will rebound, Rams will still be terrible. 49ers at Seahawks - Hunch, tossup. Jets at Chiefs - Home field advantage, JC is back, Jets always find a way to lose. Chargers at Colts - Better QB  Steelers at Eagles - Surprise of the week. Eagles go into a bye undefeated having beaten the superbowl favorites. Bears at Cowboys - Bears suck and now lack a starting caliber QB. Falcons at Saints - Drew is gonna go nuts.
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Sep 21, 2016 02:41
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Texans at Patriots- No contest. Evil will not prevail this day! Cardinals at Bills- Bills are bad. Raiders at Titans-I don't care or have any interest in this match up. Redskins at Giants- My brothers at Standing Rock are the true Giants. Browns at Dolphins- I will probably always feel bad for the Browns. Ravens at Jaguars- An easy victory for our boys in spots. Lions at Packers I'm only interested in this game for Armchair QB reasons. Broncos at Bengals- Denver is basically worthless and will be easily handled by a vastly superior team. Vikings at Panthers-Probably the best game of the week. Eagerly awaiting the epic Newton/Bradford duel. Rams at Buccaneers- I don't care or have any interest in this match up. 49ers at Seahawks- I don't care or have any interest in this match up. Jets at Chiefs- KC is a proven fraud team that will not be winning many games in the future. Chargers at Colts - Andrew Luck is still the future of the league despite his bad team. Steelers at Eagles- Steelers will lose to Carson Wentz and he will prove himself better than Brady or Manning. Bears at Cowboys- I don't care or have any interest in this match up. Falcons at Saints- I don't care or have any interest in this match up.
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Sep 21, 2016 02:42
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Ste elers
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Sep 21, 2016 02:44
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Parmesan Basil posted:Ravens at Jaguars- An easy victory for our boys in spots. Why are you calling the jags your boys when you are a ravens fans?
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Sep 21, 2016 02:53
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Texans at Patriots - OK, OK I know, patriots. But 3rd string rookie QB and the LeGarrette Blount offense versus that defense? I just can't do it. Cardinals at Bills - The bills seem pretty awful and the cardinals are good, week 1 aside. I'm pretty sure the cardinals are going to ravage them. Raiders at Titans - I bet this one is a shootout, though. Could see this going either way. Redskins at Giants - very tempted to go giants fan and call this for the redskins because the giants can never look competent for long, and it's a divisional game, but to be honest the giants should sleepwalk this. Quote me when the giants lose by 40  Browns at Dolphins - My bet is that this game will be ugly and I don't want to watch it. It might be better than Rams/Bucs but I don't know. Ravens at Jaguars - The ravens barely beat two bad teams and the jags should play better than they did against the chargers. That said, jags could jag this game away easily. Ravens aren't horrible or anything, they're just not very good. Lions at Packers - I'm betting packers because they're at home, the lions hate doing good things, and the lions just managed to look totally lost against the titans, of all teams. Did you know they're on pace for like 200 penalties? Packers probably make it hard on themselves, though. Broncos at Bengals - I think this one could go either way, to be honest. I'm betting Andy does something dumb and the bengals lose a winnable game because that's what they do. Vikings at Panthers - Panthers look beatable and if J-Stew doesn't go I'm worried for them. The vikings are good. Carolina is at home and I'm probably just going to be wrong but whatever. Rams at Buccaneers - I guess??? I dunno, I can't stop vomiting when I try to think about this game for too long. That said, the over under for this game is apparently 42 which is completely insane to me. Bucs are at home. Whatever. 49ers at Seahawks - This game has a legit shot at a tie because I really don't see how either of these teams is going to score with Wilson gimpy. Christine Michael vs Shaun Draughn and Blaine Gabbert versus potentially someone or something known as "Trevone Boykin" is on the table lmao. Let's go with the upset for fun Jets at Chiefs - the jets are very good at loving up so I'm going with the chiefs but the jets could win this game if they don't fall apart randomly. Chargers at Colts - I'm hoping it works out this way for colts fans so that everybody involved in the management of the team gets fired. Steelers at Eagles - gently caress the eagles forever and ever amenBears at Cowboys - The bears stink but they're playing the cowboys so they better find a way. Falcons at Saints - Saints at home. Shootout. troofs fucked around with this message at 03:45 on Sep 21, 2016 |
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Sep 21, 2016 03:33
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Figure I'd put my picks from last week so I can be properly judged.Probably Magic posted:Jets @ Bills whatever, late So 9 for 16 at a 56% success rate, which isn't great. Whatever, let's move on. Texans at Patriots - The Texans are on a weird winning streak that I can't explain because I still think Brock sucks, and the Patriots are on a third quarterback, but also, New England bullshit, especially at home. I expect a lot of salt afterwards. Cardinals at Bills - Bills bad. Raiders at Titans - Raiders have no defense, hell of an offense, and the Titans' greatest weakness is their secondary. This won't end well. Redskins at Giants - Captain Kirk died under a lovely bridge like a punk, and his shadow follows suit. Browns at Dolphins - Dolphins weirdly bad, Browns worse. USC quarterbacks, hahahaha. Ravens at Jaguars - This will be close, but Gus Bradley bad. Lions at Packers - Lions bad. Broncos at Bengals - As flabbergasted as I am by the success of the Denver D to carry them to wins, I think it runs out in Cincinnati. Vikings at Panthers - Urgle. Rams at Buccaneers - Gurgle. 49ers at Seahawks - Hurgle. Jets at Chiefs - This might be the game I'd classify as a toss-up the most, simply because the Jets D is doing better than I thought, but it's Chiefs at home. Chargers at Colts - AFC South in general... is bad! . Steelers at Eagles - Weird one, but I think the Wentz Win Streak(TM) runs out against the Steelers defense. Bears at Cowboys - Furgle. Falcons at Saints - Saints have no defense.
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Sep 21, 2016 03:45
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wrong, thank goodness
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Texans at Patriots - There was a formula—a sort of list of things to say and do—which I recognized as something black and forbidden; something which I had read of before in furtive paragraphs of mixed abhorrence and fascination penned by those strange ancient delvers into the universe’s guarded secrets whose decaying texts I loved to absorb. It was a key—a guide—to certain gateways and transitions of which mystics have dreamed and whispered since the race was young, and which lead to freedoms and discoveries beyond the three dimensions and realms of life and matter that we know. darkes̨t ̕ti͞m̴elin͏e ̨d҉arkeśt ti͝me̸l̸ine d̵a͘r͡ke͟st̶ timeĺi̷n̛e d̸a̡ŕkest̵ ̧t̕įm͞e͝line da͞r̢k͝es̢t ̨t͢i҉me̕line
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Sep 21, 2016 04:22
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Texans at Patriots - Texans D line is gonna make it hell for whomever starts for NE. 21-10 Cardinals at Bills - Looking forward to the S/T coach getting fired after this. 35-14 Raiders at Titans - I think the Titans Dline is good enough to put pressure on Carr and slow their offense. The Raiders D has given up 500+ yards in both games this season. Look for a shootout with Mariota on top and 4 TDs. 38 - 34 Redskins at Giants - Kirk Cousins goes full Eli and throws 2 picks while whomever isnt being coverd by Josh Norman goes hog wild. 23 - 16 Browns at Dolphins - Adam Gase is gonna have Tannehill dropping bombs on a bad Browns D. 28 - 17 Ravens at Jaguars - Jags D finally gels. 20 - 13 Lions at Packers - Aaron Rodgers and the Packers O has looked bad. There won't be a phantom facemask to save Rodgers this time. 24-20 Broncos at Bengals - This game is going to be a lot of fun to watch. I think missing Ware will hurt, and the Bengals D is good enough to make Siemann's life rough. 17-14 Vikings at Panthers The Vikings O line is bad. Sam Bradford was pressured on 46% of his dropbacks last week. Star Lotuleiei is going to feast. 17 - 12 Rams at Buccaneers - Jameis Winston looks average after looking great then awful in weeks 1 and 2. Jeff Fischer continues his march towards 7-9. 24 - 13 49ers at Seahawks - Blaine Gabbert is gonna get nostalgic as he throws for less than 175 yards. 21 - 6 Jets at Chiefs - Honestly I don't know. I think these teams match up pretty well. I'm giving it to the Chiefs because its at Arrowhead. (3 PM GOTW) Chargers at Colts - Do you think in 3-4 Years Andrew Luck will wish he went to FA as soon as he could? 28-21 Steelers at Eagles - Carson Wentz is gonna have a rude awakening when he learns every team he plays isn't a bottom 3 defense. 35 - 10 Bears at Cowboys - No Cutler, and John Fox will continue to not throw every pass to Alshon Jefferey. Dak Prescott gonna get his 1st NFL Passing TD. 24 - 10 Falcons at Saints - Hilary Clinton gonna dab all over Donald Trump. I'll be honest I'll be watching the debate. 30-23 Edit: Probably Magic posted:
Paint Crop Pro fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Sep 21, 2016 |
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Sep 21, 2016 05:07
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Metapod posted:Why are you calling the jags your boys when you are a ravens fans? This is a troll that began in the discord chat.
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Sep 21, 2016 13:21
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I'm picking the Chiefs because the Chiefs have a 100% win rate when I am at attendance at Arrowhead. Planning on doing my part. Hopefully I get Tyreek Hill's autograph. Texans at Patriots - Jacoby Brissett Cardinals at Bills - The Ryan Brother Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Raiders at Titans - The Titans still haven't proven poo poo to me. Redskins at Giants - Shootout, Kirk Cousins is a choke artist. Browns at Dolphins - Flukey Browns win and also lolTannehill game of the month. Ravens at Jaguars - Jags will never fire their coaching staff. Plus their line is hosed. Lions at Packers - No Ameer, no good. Hail Mary to end the game. Broncos at Bengals - There is no God. Vikings at Panthers - Thomas Davis will have 3 sacks and Bradford may explode in a fine mist. Rams at Buccaneers - If they score 1 touchdown, they'll have all the points they need. 49ers at Seahawks - Chip Kelly is clearly a genius. Jets at Chiefs - Hill and Marshall will exchange jerseys. Chargers at Colts - McCluster will have a touchdown. Steelers at Eagles - The Steelers are gross. Bears at Cowboys - No Cutler is somehow a bad thing. Falcons at Saints - Tie. Meteor. Whatever. Don't care. No Butt Stuff fucked around with this message at 14:41 on Sep 21, 2016 |
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Sep 21, 2016 14:37
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Antonio Brown is going to gash the Eagles for 200yds and 3TDs.... But the Eagles will lose because <insert WR here> will drop a game winning catch on a 5 yd curl when hes wide open Book it!
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Sep 21, 2016 14:48
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Logic says that Philly loses this week, but the Pats are 2-0 and Sam Bradford looks good; logic doesn't really care for the NFL. 2 games in and Philly feels like a team that's already streaking a bit. I think Wentz will turn the ball over on the first or second drive of the game, but Philly clowns its way to a come from behind victory over Pitt. Or Carson's ribs get rebroken and Philly loses by 21+
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Sep 21, 2016 15:27
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CANNIBAL GIRLS posted:Logic says that Philly loses this week, but the Pats are 2-0 and Sam Bradford looks good; logic doesn't really care for the NFL. 2 games in and Philly feels like a team that's already streaking a bit. I think Wentz will turn the ball over on the first or second drive of the game, but Philly clowns its way to a come from behind victory over Pitt. Yeah Wentz first turnover will happen in this game no doubt, if we somehow make it through this and get to 3-0 i will start to believe
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Sep 21, 2016 15:32
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Texans at Patriots - After week 1 I'll never pick against NE. The Texans have a very good defense, and a suspect offense, mostly due to the quarterback. That said, the Patriots' defense was downright bad for the 2nd half of last week's game, but was good the other three quarters, so... that's probably still a plus. But I think the Patriots would have to win a low scoring game, or with some defense / ST scoring. Cardinals at Bills - cross country 1pm road games are tough for any team, but the Bills are kind of a mess. I think this will be a lot closer then you'd think, but the Cardinals are one of the most talented teams in the league,. Raiders at Titans - Raiders defense is non-existent, Titans have played two tight games against reasonable competition. Not sure if the Titans can score enough to keep up, but the Raiders sure want to let teams do that Washington at Giants - Think the Giants are getting a bit overrated, but I'm really not liking what I'm seeing from Washington's offense so far. Browns at Dolphins - Can't hit 8 and 8 if you're losing to the Browns. Ravens at Jaguars - Man, I just feel bad for the Jaguars, but I think this is a pretty winnable game. The Ravens struggled with the Bills and Browns, and at least the Jaguars can still say, they're probably at least as good as the Bills. Lions at Packers - For all of the Packers offensive woes (man I love saying that), The Lions' defense is not the Vikings, and Rodgers can Andrew Luck enough scores while the Packers are good enough to not Colts secondary it away. Broncos at Bengals - Bad QB on the road against a good defense? Should be a low scoring game which means there'll be 7 combined turnovers and it'll be 31-27. Vikings at Panthers - Cam's better then Rodgers at this point. Rams at Buccaneers - The Buccaneers aren't as bad as they looked last week and the Rams offense is a corpse that's starting to decompose 49ers at Seahawks - I mean I was all cute in going all in on the Rams last week, but the 49ers got problems man. That I still had to think about it for 10 seconds kinda says it all about the Seahawks offensive line though, and Baldwin's injured apparently? This could be an ugggglllly game. Jets at Chiefs - Jets have looked quite good for two weeks, but I think the Chiefs are a lot closer to the Bengals then the Bills and can scheme around the Jets' absurd defensive line. Chargers at Colts - The two best quarterbacks with the two worst support staffs. I think there's still a couple of un-injured Chargers, so their support is a bit better then the Colts who are probably starting some C-tier boy band as their secondary right now. Steelers at Eagles - Watching the Steelers offense sure is pretty and this is probably where the Wentz express turns back into the Wentz potential wagon. Bears at Cowboys - Bears did not impress at all on Monday. They don't have Browns bad mojo, but they've got some really bad mojo . Falcons at Saints - Watching the Giants game you realize the Giants offense stopped the Giants offense more then the Saints D did, which is scary when Julio Jones is coming, but I think Drew Brees sees that secondary and gaping hole where a pass rush should be and just clowns them. E: VVV Oh right, good idea. Last week, 12-4 Kalli posted:
Kalli fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Sep 22, 2016 |
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Sep 22, 2016 18:21
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Titans @ Lions - Like what the Lions are doing on offense, do not like the Titans'
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Last week:quote:Jets @ Bills - Because the Bills are a mirage, even more so than the Jets 10-6 to start. This week: Texans at Patriots - Patriots going 4-0, then will lose out after Brady returns. Cardinals at Bills - My god the Bills are bad. Also everyone named Ryan. Raiders at Titans - Exotic smash mouth comes into it's own against the Raiders' defense. Redskins at Giants - Can't ever pick the Washington team. Browns at Dolphins - A tanking team vs the Dolphins. Dolphins by 3. Ravens at Jaguars - Why not? Lions at Packers - A A Rodg is the new Cutler. Broncos at Bengals - Andey gonna die. Vikings at Panthers - Tempted to say Bradford will pick apart the Panther's secondary, but he's going to get sacked so many times. Rams at Buccaneers - Famous something something. 49ers at Seahawks - Not that I think they'll win, but because I have to. Jets at Chiefs - Arrowhead is too loud for Fitz, who is just too used to the quiet halls of Harvard. Chargers at Colts - Started off thinking Colts, but Gordon & Rivers vs the Colts D? Plus Varrett is great. Steelers at Eagles - Rookie vs Rapist shootout. Will Wentz pick up some of Roethlisberger's tricks? Bears at Cowboys - Bears have no cornerbacks. Dak. Falcons at Saints - LOL Saints.
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Sep 22, 2016 19:29
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The Bengals will win
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Sep 22, 2016 21:28
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Texans at Patriots – Missed the Thursday night game again, but my understanding is the Texans didn’t bother to show up? Cardinals at Bills – Rex Ryan is running out of people to blame for his fuckups. Raiders at Titans – Who knows, I’m just picking the home team. Redskins at Giants – Everything here points to a Giants victory: 1. They’re playing at home. 2. Josh Norman can only cover one of the Giants three quality receivers (and may be so exhausted from running his mouth that he can’t even do that.) 3. Kirk Cousins isn’t playing like he’s worth $20 let alone 20 million. 4. Additional reasons… Therefore, the Giants will lose. Browns at Dolphins – Doesn’t feel right calling it an ‘O’ Bowl unless/until both teams have 10+ losses. Ravens at Jaguars – Ravens barely beat the Browns and Jax almost beat Green Bay. Lions at Packers – Surprised the Pack lost last weekend. Can’t see them losing 2 division games in a row. Broncos at Bengals – Game of the Week. Vikings at Panthers Rams at Buccaneers -- I'm guessing the lovely Rams team shows up after a cross country flight. 49ers at Seahawks – Angry ‘Hawks bounce back at home. Jets at Chiefs – This will be close, but the Jets don’t look like they can put away quality teams. Chargers at Colts Steelers at Eagles – Reality check for the Eagles. Bears at Cowboys Falcons at Saints – I guess the Saints are going to take a stab at playing defense this year after all.
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Sep 23, 2016 21:09
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I kinda liked this idea. Know it's a bit late, but any thought to keeping it going? Or even just keeping sticking it to this thread?
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Sep 30, 2016 06:09
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The Eagles won't lose this week
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Sep 30, 2016 10:25
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