- social vegan
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*covertly receives double down from clerk, checks in bag, slams it down on the counter*: well what the good god heck man, you promised me
clerk: whoah whoah whaoh, calm down *looks side to side, leans slowly over and whispers* they are the bun
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Sep 22, 2016 16:00
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Apr 26, 2024 06:52
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- social vegan
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me: honey I'm home!
significant other, sitting over the edge of the couch, head in hands, weeping: what is this? *notions to table strewn with miniature frosted flakes boxes* WHAT IS THIS?
me: Oh, oh god. I-I don't know. They came in the mail. Uh uh Dennis brought them for the camping trip this weekend
so: you told me you grew out of it. you told me you were drinking spinach, drinking kale god damnit my mom warned me about this
me: look look, I can't stop. It's going to sound stupid, but ...t-they bring out the tiger in me
so: WHAT IF I DON'T LIKE THE TIGER IN YOU
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Sep 22, 2016 17:53
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- social vegan
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watches out the window until mom and dad's car pulls out of the driveway, hands shaking as I nervously light up a fat blintze
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Sep 22, 2016 18:26
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- social vegan
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heats up the tips of a knife over the stove, picks up dollop of butter, wildly tries to spread it on toast
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Sep 23, 2016 00:25
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- social vegan
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Woke up on the trailer floor again. Hands shaking. Diabetes. My blood sugar was hosed again. I needed something. Empty box of Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Worthless. Half a croissant in the fridge. Chocolate scooped out of it. Ate it anyway.
I dug wildly through my pantry, but nothing was there. Almost nothing, that is. Alone, at the very reach of my fingertips sat two stale cookies. I stopped. Cookies... for breakfast? It might just work.
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Sep 23, 2016 00:30
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- social vegan
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nice so uh, what kinda coils you got on this *checks the faceplate* panasonic?
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Sep 23, 2016 00:33
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- social vegan
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look if you're going to do it, do it organically, this synthetic poo poo will kill you. Just last week we had 3 deaths connected to cinnamon candle consumption, don't be another statistic
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Sep 23, 2016 00:47
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Apr 26, 2024 06:52
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- social vegan
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does the cinnamon challenge, even when the webcam's off
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Sep 23, 2016 15:52
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Sep 22, 2016 16:00
