quote:

He says it will all be different when the baby is here....

Gaunab posted:

This is just sad

ikanreed posted:

Nope, her leaving for a few days is exactly the medicine his brain needs. It's a fetish born from broken jealousy instincts that don't recognize what's on the line.

loquacius posted:

Are you sure, because maybe he'll react to her breaking up with him by just jerking off some more because it's the ultimate rejection

or like encourage her to marry the other dude instead and use their venue and date etc and then proceed to be a creepy ex who calls her every so often so he can get really horny when she tells him it's over and she's not interested in him anymore

Gamer With Dignity posted:

I'm sure that all of that is real and not at all made up.

Panfilo posted:

Whenever I hear these people accommodating their partners ridiculous fetishes I always wonder how much reciprocation they're getting in exchange, because it never seems to be considered. It's one thing if the guy had this extreme humiliation fetish and his girlfriend went along with it because he would give her really amazing back rubs on request. But these redditors always grossly overstate what their partner is doing for them and make it sound like it is much more of a dilemma than it is.

quote:

My husband is next to me sleeping as I type this. He doesn't know this but I went on his phone last night and found the Grindr app installed. He has a profile on there and he seems to be quite active. Never once has he told me he's bisexual or at all interested in men. The reason I went snooping on his phone is because he came home late and had no explanation for me other than he was caught up at work. What he doesn't know is that I went to his workplace to drop off dinner for him, but he wasn't in his office and when I asked his co-worker, they told me he had left hours ago. So I went home and I waited.

All the way until eleven o'clock at night. He entered the apartment, told me he was oh so busy at work, took a shower and then went to bed. I promptly went on his phone, found the app and spent an hour snooping through it.

I'm getting tested just in case.

I think I'm in shock, otherwise I'd have said something right away. I've been thinking long and hard about every moment we've spent together, whether there were any signs ... but I guess the signs weren't there because even he doesn't seem to know his sexual orientation. Going by his messages, he still doesn't know if he's Bi or gay. I know sexuality isn't black and white but the way he presented his sexuality to me was very black and white. Straight, cis gender. The latter holds true but he seems to be at least bicurious, which is fine, only he's going about his exploration the wrong way.

I wish he would have just talked to me. I'm not going to say I get what he's going through, but I do know, as his partner and friend, it's my job to support him through this, which I absolutely will.

I won't support his cheating, though. gently caress that.

Is it weird that I'm not even hurt by the cheating, I just feel bad that he's been going through this for possibly his entire life and he never once felt he could live his
truth openly?

I'm sure the sadness will kick in soon, for now I'm just shocked and worried and also kind of disappointed that he would turn to Grindr of all places.
So, yeah, this is your daily /r/relationships dose of "My husband likes it in the rear end and I had no idea!!!"
I'll talk to him tonight.

Gonna quickly add, I'm definitely divorcing him for this. I thought that was a given. I've taken screenshots, emailed my brother who is in family law and will point me in the right direction, and dusted the fingerprints on the candlestick in the conservatory. I'd say this case is cracked, I'm just venting because holy poo poo this sucks.

loquacius posted:

In return for putting up with his extreme humiliation fetish, the fiancee got to repeatedly have sex with someone else much more virile, competent, and well-adjusted than him

Bonzo posted:

Is it weird that I'm not even hurt by the cheating, I just feel bad that he's been going through this for possibly his entire life and he never once felt he could live his
truth openly?

quote:

My guy friend has a crush on me. He's told me, and while I can't reciprocate his feelings yet, I am interested.
Or at least, I was before he started meme-ing me to death.
We share a niche, nerdy hobby. When he learned this, he started turning every conversation toward in-jokes about that hobby. Everything I say, no matter how unrelated, is met with loldank memes or him teasing me about how he's better than me at this hobby and so on.
At first I thought he was being ironic or something, so I would acknowledge the meme and laugh it off, but now he's doing it incessantly and it just makes me not want to talk to him.
I think he's doing it for my sake and I want him to stop, but I don't know how to tell him? Like I mentioned, I was actually interested in him, which is why this is frustrating me. Thanks for any help.
TL;DR: Guy I was interested in just talks to me in memes. I'm getting annoyed and want him to stop.

quote:

Hi, been a lurker on this subreddit and didn't really have the courage to post, but I'm at my wits end with my girlfriend (let's call her Chris) and her immature behavior.
Some background: So I first met Chris in a group of friends. She was fun, tomboyish, smart, and well-versed on the internet which I found particularly striking. She spends a lot of time on reddit, 4chan, and knowyourmeme. At first I found this hobby mutual as I'm a frequent internet user myself, except I started noticing that Chris would bring it into the real world.
For example, Chris has an obsession with memes. She has memes posted all over her wall and is very active on meme based forums. I understand they make her laugh and that it's not too concerning, but she brings up memes ALL the time. And I mean all the time. Even when we first started talking and flirting she'd bring up socially awkward penguin. At first it was cute, but then it got annoying fast when I realized she did this constantly.
My girlfriend doesn't abstain from meme usage, even when we're having sex. Whenever we spend this time together, she starts moaning doge memes like "such sex, wow" and it really kills the moment for me. Like really? Is that even close to appropriate? Maybe she wants to relieve the tension, but does she know when to draw the line? Even reading that over made me sick knowing that Chris is usually 100% serious about those things.
I tried bringing up her inappropriate usage of memes after my father died and she literally sends me advice animal memes that say 'don't be sad' but my dad just loving died could you be more sensitive and not send me memes? I said that straight to her face yesterday and she started crying, and I feel awful but it was just really irritating for me.
Basically, every time I bring up her habit, guess what- she just brings up memes! It's impossible to fight with her reasonably and I'd hate to end our year long relationship over something so trivial like this and I need advice. Do I stick with her or not? The reaction to my dad's death was the final straw for me and I've been ignoring her messages, texts, which yes, do contain memes.
Sorry for making this long, I'm having a bit of catharsis here. I know Reddit loves its memes and I might get flamed for this, but it's an actual problem and I need help dealing with her. Throwaway because yes, she is on reddit. I'm thinking of showing her this board once I get enough advice to show her that her "harmless" jokes actually get on my nerves to a serious degree.
tl;dr: Girlfriend uses memes in real life, acts immature about them, and doesn't understand context... I'm really at my wit's end and need advice on if I should break or try to work this out. Please help.

quote:

My husband (I'll call him John for the sake of anonymity) and I have been married for a little over 5 years now and everything has been going well up until a year or so ago. We were planning on having children and everything. Now my life feels like it is at a complete stand still.
John is always bringing up these new business ideas that never go anywhere and I find it cute sometimes because it's not really harming anyone. "We should make a window shade company that simulates sunrises for people who need to wake up before sunrise". It's always weird little things like this. I just laugh because I know he will never do anything with it but he has always dreamed of doing something big.
We are both avid redditors so when we find a new subreddit that we love we get excited and start sending each other links to see if we can get the other one interested. It has mixed results and we laugh it off when he tells me he doesn't care about a new eye shadow that's coming out. Skip to 2013...
He finds out about bitcoin and is sending me links constantly about it. It goes from "check out this cool technology" to absolute cultish behavior in a very brief period. I would say 0-100 in probably 2 months. He starts taking every dime we have and buying them as quickly as he can. He actually set up a feature that BUYS MORE ON A WEEKLY BASIS after our paychecks come through. The worst part is he didn't even TELL ME he did this. He gave me this arrogant response about doing what's best for us and our future kids.
Overall, and I'm not exaggerating, I would say we have lost over $22,000. I kept telling him to sell as the price was rising and he promised me a big year in 2014. The price kept falling and he CONTINUED TO BUY MORE. He makes more money than I do but we are building a future together and we have a shared bank account. He kept telling me this was for our kids college fund, to buy a house, etc. The money...I can get over as people spend money on other stupid crap like boats they will never use but this isn't even the beginning to the absolute craziness I will see out of him over the coming year.
I am in marketing & PR and we run large events at local arenas. A big part of my job is meeting clients/investors for events to ensure them that they will get a return and basically shmooze at parties. My husband used to be great at these events. When people like you and your family, they trust you and are more willing to do business.
My husband starts bringing up loving bitcoin at these events. MY events for MY job. People here have a lot of money and he knows this. He saw this as some kind of opportunity. He goes on and on about how taxes are theft and bitcoin is a way out. The dollar is about to collapse, banks are destroying the world, etc. You are supposed to make light hearted jokes about how their football team is doing, not get into these political discussions. He knows this too since he's been coming to these events with me for years.
It starts off small where I laugh it off and say "ohhhh John, he's into technology and gets a little too excited". He saw this as condescension. The car rides home? Full on fights about how I don't get it and I'm going to be left behind. I felt like I was fighting with some type of evangelical Christian (I have been in plenty of these growing up). He ironically rips into religion any chance he gets but he is absolutely part of a cult full of insane people.
Keep in mind as this goes on he is still buying more as the price goes down telling me we have a great opportunity on our hands. I actually have a bookmark on my phone to see what the bitcoin price is because I can predict his mood for the day. I actually check the price every single loving morning to know how I should treat him that day. His entire mood is based off of the price. It will go up 10% in one day, crash 20% the next. Our whole lives is an emotional rollercoaster based off of absolutely nothing. Every time it goes up a few dollars he rubs it in my face how wrong I was. He ignores long term trends and focuses on these specific time frames to show me how stupid I am. Yes, my husband called me STUPID over THINKING I do not understand it.
I feel like I have read more about bitcoin than he has because he won't discuss any downsides with me. He tells me all problems will be fixed and we are in on the ground floor. He seems to be in a constant good news bubble about this when no one actually cares. Most of the responses he gets from people in public are feigned interest until they can get away from him or they just tell him they don't care if the converstaion lasts more than 2 minutes. I am embarrassed to be around him.
After a recent price crash, he actually bought more using our vacation fund that I have been saving away for AND planning. All gone, in bitcoin never to be seen again.
I am sorry for the long rant but this is my life now. I have tried everything. I have tried reasoning with him. I have tried explaining to him that he should not have sole control over our money. He is so confident that he slyly brings up selling one of our cars to buy more. He didn't come right out and say what it was for but I can guarantee you it was to buy more. He is ruining my job and robbing me of happiness.
I used to consider him a smart guy and I never, ever thought he would succomb to basically being brainwashed by a bunch of clueless idiots on the internet who seem to know absolutely nothing about finance or the real world. I don't know how familiar people are here with bitcoin but if you go to their subreddit, you will see exactly what I'm talking about. I started crying once reading my husband's comments worded slightly differently, repeated 100 times over. It was like I married a parrot.
My parents give that look to each other when he talks now like "ugh, what is he going to say next" every time we have dinner together. I am constantly trying to change the subject and he gets angry with me. You can tell he wants to raise his voice but since we are around my parents he holds back.
What do I DO? I am not religious in any way but my family most certainly is. I feel like I couldn't even bring up divorce and I want to save my husband. I want him back to the way he was. It seems like he is addicted to a drug but since he doesn't realize it, everyone else is wrong. I don't know if I should have an intervention or just walk away and hope he comes to his senses when I'm staying in a hotel for a few weeks.
Again, I apologize for the length but I want you to feel the way I feel so you can understand the advice you are giving. I really need help here. Thank you to anyone who even reads half of this!
tl;dr: My husband will not stop spending money on bitcoins. He brings it up every chances he gets with people he as just met. We have lost a lot of money on this and as time goes by, he wants to listen less and less. I'm scared there isn't a way to talk him out of this.

Inept posted:

Yes. Yes it is weird that you're not hurt by the cheating.

quote:

Throwaway because he knows my reddit account.

Some backstory: I've been dating Dan for two years. He is a single father of an eight year old boy, Levi. Dan is disabled since a car accident in his youth, and receives disability. Both Dan and his brother got substantial trust funds from the death of their father. I don't know the details, but they receive some money month to month, but can't "take up" from the overall amount. This is important because in July, Dan had several emergency home repairs that left him broke. I pitched in and bought Levi's back to school clothing, paid for new safety glasses so he could play sports, and paid for his club memberships. (None of this I regret)

Dan's brother, Matthew, lives in a small apartment so he survives on his inheritance. He has never held a job, has very few friends. Most of his time is spent online or playing video games. I dislike him, as I find him abrasive and rude.

Every Wednesday, Dan, Levi and I have an early dinner, and I take Levi to Boy Scouts. My gym is right across the street, so I work out, pick Levi up afterwards and give him a ride home. Yesterday, Matthew joined us for dinner, and conversation started about how Dan had once gone on a road trip to a Spring Break hot spot with some buddies.
Matthew started complaining that he had never been on a road trip, or been to Spring Break. At this point, Levi tries to pipe in saying he didn't get to go on a rollercoaster this year. Matthew lashed out at Levi for this, and for some reason Dan was laughing about his brother yelling at his son in the restaurant, and Levi started crying. I had been quiet through all this but decided to take Levi and leave early.
When I brought Levi home, I went to use the bathroom. While there, I could hear Matthew and Dan in the game room, laughing about how they were going to "get shitfaced every morning and laid every night". I walk in to find them salivating over a Girls Gone Wild type video from a beach. They are slightly drunk. They start immediately telling me how they were going on a vacation over Christmas and New Years, a full six weeks, driving to various party spots down south. Matthew is grinning that Dan will teach him to "pick up sluts". I'm just sort of standing agape through this.

I ask what they will do with Levi. "Dump the brat at his grandmothers!" Is Matthews immediate response, then Dan explains I will have to watch Levi for his two weeks back in school after winter vacation. This is where I lose it, and say I'm not going to watch Levi. Moreover, this is a selfish move, as Levi hadn't gone to an amusement park this year (he was looking forward to being tall enough to ride a rollercoaster) and hasn't been on a vacation ever.

Dan gets angry and says that I can't guilt him into not going. They had already put money down on the trip for a few nights at various resorts. I'm furious, as I just had to pay for his kids essentials, that he spent money on something like that.
At this point, Matthew starts yelling at me that I'm a bitch and his brother should dump me, calling me all sorts of names. I respond that it's not a relationship I want to be in considering that he is actively planning a trip to cheat on me, and I head down to the bedroom to pack my stuff. Both Matthew and Dan are following me, Dan saying I'm overreacting, Matthew calling me names. I pack, turn and get really nasty at this point. I say no girls gone wild type is going to want to hook up with a bunch of broke, fat losers with no life.

Dan yells at me to leave, and Levi comes running out of his room and begging his dad not to break up with me. This switches me from anger to tears, but his dad demands I get out.
I woke up this morning to apologetic texts, mostly saying that I misunderstood that they weren't BOTH going to have sex, just Matthew. He said Matthew only yelled and insulted me because he was drunk, and that he planned to get Matthew to apologize. Then he promised he would take Levi to a Halloween thing at an amusement park one weekend. He keeps saying how important I am to Levi. But, the trip with his brother is still on.

I dont plan to respond and want out, but my friends are saying a breakup is an overreaction. They say I shouldn't get between brothers and this has nothing to do with me.
Am I way out of line?

tl;dr. Boyfriend and brother planned long vacation, saying they were going to have sex with other women. Paid money despite having recently needed to borrow money from me. Totally disregarded his son. My friends think I should take him back.

Gaunab posted:

I feel bad for the kid. Seems like he's stuck with his awful dad and uncle.

mind the walrus posted:

I've met a lot of people for whom rocking the boat is way worse than letting one person (who happens to not be them) suffer immensely.

loquacius posted:

I don't think that guy actually consciously intended to cheat on his girlfriend when he planned that trip with his brother but based on the description of him I absolutely believe that if he goes on the trip he will cheat on his girlfriend

Also he's a really bad salesman, like, if you owe your girlfriend money and you're using money you could be using to pay her back to instead go on a vacation without her maybe don't say it's so you can "pick up sluts"

hell, even if he had said "I'm gonna teach Matthew to pick up sluts" instead that would have been a horrible idea too. Leave sluts out of the pitch entirely.

CharlestonJew posted:

what a terrible father, he should be teaching his son how to pick up sluts instead

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: my hero

So we've been with eachother for 6 years. Our sex life is just as good as when it started, I just wanted to try out some kinkier stuff so I suggested roleplaying. Kevin (husband) was somewhat open to the idea, but also thought it was a bit ridiculous. This is something I've always wanted to try, sort of like a fetish. So we got a few costumes, a Cop outfit and a Spy trenchcoat for him, and a nurse and cheerleader outfit for me. All of our roleplaying revolves around one person being in character, and the other interacting with them.

But he takes his roles as a joke! He goes intentionally extreme with the roles. I know he thinks it's a bit ridiculous, and I know he has more fun when he does this, but I want a real roleplay!

For example, when he dressed up as the Cop, he was supposed to do a stop and frisk, arrest me, etc, but in a sexy way. But instead, he kicks open the door, screams "HANDS UP THIS IS A RAID" and basically tackles me to the bed (this is OKAY it's NOT ABUSE we have rough dom/sub sex all the time), handcuffs me, literally reads me my Miranda Rights, leaves me there and rummages through the drawers throwing stuff everywhere, pulls out a little baggy of weed and goes apeshit like a cop might. I play a long, try to get him to 'let me go' if I can do sexual favours for him. Then we have some rough sex with handcuffs and everything. The actual sex was good but he kept speaking into his fake radio calling for backup, when I was on top he would shout OFFICER DOWN OFFICER DOWN.

With the Spy outfit he would come in and check me for wires and do the whole Pink Panther thing where he says "It is lovely weather we are having" while sneaking to the drapes and then beating the drapes up. I was envisioning a more James Bond-eqsue seduction.

Like, I like the sex, it's good, but I wanted a more porn-like experience. And it was kinda funny but not what I thought. And I KNOW that he thinks roleplay is ridiculous, and that he is trying to have fun with it but I feel like he doesn't know what I want. And I don't hate him for it, he's a big fuckin goofball in or out of our roles, but I want to have MY experience. How can I tell him this?

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: my hero

So we've been with eachother for 6 years. Our sex life is just as good as when it started, I just wanted to try out some kinkier stuff so I suggested roleplaying. Kevin (husband) was somewhat open to the idea, but also thought it was a bit ridiculous. This is something I've always wanted to try, sort of like a fetish. So we got a few costumes, a Cop outfit and a Spy trenchcoat for him, and a nurse and cheerleader outfit for me. All of our roleplaying revolves around one person being in character, and the other interacting with them.

But he takes his roles as a joke! He goes intentionally extreme with the roles. I know he thinks it's a bit ridiculous, and I know he has more fun when he does this, but I want a real roleplay!

For example, when he dressed up as the Cop, he was supposed to do a stop and frisk, arrest me, etc, but in a sexy way. But instead, he kicks open the door, screams "HANDS UP THIS IS A RAID" and basically tackles me to the bed (this is OKAY it's NOT ABUSE we have rough dom/sub sex all the time), handcuffs me, literally reads me my Miranda Rights, leaves me there and rummages through the drawers throwing stuff everywhere, pulls out a little baggy of weed and goes apeshit like a cop might. I play a long, try to get him to 'let me go' if I can do sexual favours for him. Then we have some rough sex with handcuffs and everything. The actual sex was good but he kept speaking into his fake radio calling for backup, when I was on top he would shout OFFICER DOWN OFFICER DOWN.

With the Spy outfit he would come in and check me for wires and do the whole Pink Panther thing where he says "It is lovely weather we are having" while sneaking to the drapes and then beating the drapes up. I was envisioning a more James Bond-eqsue seduction.

Like, I like the sex, it's good, but I wanted a more porn-like experience. And it was kinda funny but not what I thought. And I KNOW that he thinks roleplay is ridiculous, and that he is trying to have fun with it but I feel like he doesn't know what I want. And I don't hate him for it, he's a big fuckin goofball in or out of our roles, but I want to have MY experience. How can I tell him this?

Naerasa posted:

saying 'im gonna pick up respectable women' would have made it better

Bud K ninja sword posted:

quote:

First off, would like to thank everyone for their responses and for taking the time to give me advice. I did not expect the 300 or so comments I received, so please don't take it personally if I didn't reply to yours. I was very much overwhelmed by and grateful for the support.

On to the update:

Took the general advice and confronted Valerie and used therapy as a non negotiable term.

So Tuesday when I posted I saw Kate at work and bluntly said "You don't need to report on me today or any day after this. I'll be talking to my wife after I'm done today." She got this blank look on her face and said she didn't know what I meant but I noticed her hanging around significantly less than usual after that.

I did my best to focus on my work but I asked to go home early because it was just impossible with everything looming ahead for me to concentrate. I went home and texted my wife that I was home early and I needed to talk to her when she was done work so to please come home right away. I got a bunch of "Whats going on??" "Whats wrong?" texts but just kept telling her I'd talk to her at home.

She got home and I got into it right away. Told her I knew about the texts with Kate, about the spying, the harassment of Heather. She was mad at first and kept adamantly saying she did nothing wrong and if I had nothing to hide why did it matter. I told her to please not play me for a fool and outlined all the things her behavior meant like lack of trust and sheer vindictiveness. I brought up the consequences like my damaged trust and drama in the workplace. I also brought up how my job could be at risk because of this. She made a point to say they couldn't fire me without also removing Heather as she'd say she was being inappropriate towards a married man in the workplace and Kate would back her up. That brought us to a heated argument and it ended with her crying and me yelling. She started asking "Who the gently caress is Heather to you that you give so much of a poo poo anyway?" and derailed into this whole thing about me caring too much about someone I claimed meant nothing to me.

I don't want to get into too much detail because this would be extremely long but the conversation was a good 5-6 hours long. It ended with her agreeing to go to couples therapy and individual if the couples therapist so deemed it. She apologized to me a lot and admitted she had been acting out of jealousy and anger towards Heather. She asked if I wanted her to apologize to Heather in person but I said no, I didn't want there to be more drama. I watched as she texted Kate and told her to stop and that she was sorry for dragging her into it. She gave me the password to her phone for transparency but I told her it was pointless as if she really wanted to continue, she could just delete the texts before I saw them or change the name or whatever. I told her I expected her to keep her word to stop because if I got any indication that this was still going on after our talk that I would separate from her and file for divorce.

Yesterday morning things still seemed tense but it was to be expected. She still kissed me before going to work and we had a normal text conversation on our commute. I get to work and Kate apologizes to me and I accept it but tell her our work relationship from here on out is forever changed and there's no going back from it. I tell her that beyond work conversation, we have nothing else to talk about. She accepted it and went on to start the day.

Lunch rolls in. I ask Bryan if he'll let me buy him lunch and thank him for telling me. We go to have lunch and he asks me if I've heard Heather put in her request for a transfer. Apparently on Tuesday when I left early, Heather asked why I wasn't at my desk because she had brought over the week's project booklet and had seen me there earlier. Kate of all people told her I had gone home to "deal with personal issues". When Heather asked if everything was alright Kate told her that she hoped so because "I don't want to see someone come between Valerie and worldsgonemadd's marriage". There must have been a bit more to the exchange because Heather went all the way up to our boss's boss and asked for a transfer to a different department.

I feel extremely embarrassed because without a doubt I feel like that guy now in the office. I know Bryan isn't a gossip but of course people will ask why Heather transferred and without a doubt it will eventually get out. People who used to talk to me casually probably will stop. The women of the office will feel as if they need to keep their distance. And I feel so ashamed that I can't even approach Heather to apologize for the stress this must have caused her. I doubt she even would want to see my face at this point.

So yes, wife has agreed to counselling both couples and individual, apologized to me, all those things. But the damage is now done and I feel like complete poo poo about work now. I guess I shouldn't have been so naive to think that just fixing this with my wife would make everything else go away.

Anyway, thank you all for the advice, I was feeling very at sea before writing that post. I still feel a bit lost as far as how to deal with the fall out of all of this but at least I have one part of it sorted or on its way to being sorted out so that's a positive.

tl;dr: Confronted my wife about the texts. She agreed to go to couples therapy and individual therapy and cut contact with the office spy. Unfortunately Heather put in a request for a transfer so it seems like while I may be able to salvage my personal relationship, my work relationship is now tarnished.

HardDisk posted:

What's up with friends/family of these people always saying it's an overreaction on their part?

quote:

Heather

gentle pete posted:

My [28f] fiance's [31m] fetish is getting out of control, and it's ruining our wedding planning.

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

Jeffnote: my hero

So we've been with eachother for 6 years. Our sex life is just as good as when it started, I just wanted to try out some kinkier stuff so I suggested roleplaying. Kevin (husband) was somewhat open to the idea, but also thought it was a bit ridiculous. This is something I've always wanted to try, sort of like a fetish. So we got a few costumes, a Cop outfit and a Spy trenchcoat for him, and a nurse and cheerleader outfit for me. All of our roleplaying revolves around one person being in character, and the other interacting with them.

But he takes his roles as a joke! He goes intentionally extreme with the roles. I know he thinks it's a bit ridiculous, and I know he has more fun when he does this, but I want a real roleplay!

For example, when he dressed up as the Cop, he was supposed to do a stop and frisk, arrest me, etc, but in a sexy way. But instead, he kicks open the door, screams "HANDS UP THIS IS A RAID" and basically tackles me to the bed (this is OKAY it's NOT ABUSE we have rough dom/sub sex all the time), handcuffs me, literally reads me my Miranda Rights, leaves me there and rummages through the drawers throwing stuff everywhere, pulls out a little baggy of weed and goes apeshit like a cop might. I play a long, try to get him to 'let me go' if I can do sexual favours for him. Then we have some rough sex with handcuffs and everything. The actual sex was good but he kept speaking into his fake radio calling for backup, when I was on top he would shout OFFICER DOWN OFFICER DOWN.

With the Spy outfit he would come in and check me for wires and do the whole Pink Panther thing where he says "It is lovely weather we are having" while sneaking to the drapes and then beating the drapes up. I was envisioning a more James Bond-eqsue seduction.

Like, I like the sex, it's good, but I wanted a more porn-like experience. And it was kinda funny but not what I thought. And I KNOW that he thinks roleplay is ridiculous, and that he is trying to have fun with it but I feel like he doesn't know what I want. And I don't hate him for it, he's a big fuckin goofball in or out of our roles, but I want to have MY experience. How can I tell him this?

scrubs season six posted:

I'm the sissy cuck that likes to sit in the corner manipulating my limp penis and sobbing uncontrollably while people gently caress my wife.

Tolkien minority posted:

at least she realized how batshit insane this was in the comments

quote:

Oh my god you're right.
I told him this ten minutes ago. He knows that I reddit (he's a redditor too), and when I brought this up in the first place I told him that I asked reddit for advice and showed him the original thread. It's the main reason why we ended up going to therapy in the first place. He was actually the one who suggested that I update you all on the situation.
After I told him that someone could just Google berth ell pup and find the phrase in this thread, he looked me in the eye and said "That's so loving hot."
When he goes to work I'm leaving. He'll find this post eventually but I don't care. I need a few days to cool off and reconsider my options. He's ill. He needs serious help and I think I'm going to call his brother to tell him (without specifics). I texted my aunt already and she'll be here to pick me up with a moment's notice

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Me (27F) and my Fiance (27M) decide to try playing with another couple. I find texts to the other woman, not sure how to deal.

Me and my fiancé have been toying with the idea of playing with other people for a long while now. I have played with other men before (with his consent) but he’s never bother looking for a girl. Recently we have met a couple who are poly, and into us both (everyone’s bi/curious) We all meet up and everyone hits it off eerily well. The couple is essentially a mesh of our personalities in different doses. Everything has been well up until I started reading my fiancé’s messages from the other woman (we have an open door rule. Nothing is hidden). I started reading through everything since I’m naturally nosey and he likes to get worked up reading mine. There were a few parts of the conversation between him and her which made me feel absolutely worthless, and I’m not sure how to get over it. Mostly things like “ I wish you were here right now doing such and such to/with me” and “ I can’t wait to see you again/Can’t wait to do ______ with you” Normally I’m really good with the whole jealously thing but I’m not sure why this is getting to me like nothing else. I think the main thing is he wants to do things to her, he doesn’t do to me and he knows I like them being done (foot rubbing, being dom, going down on me, etc.)I’ve talked to him about this and he says he doesn’t really care much for doing them, he’s more so just saying it to get a rouse from her. We had a “wife swap” day when me and the other girl traded places and hung out with the guys. Nothing really happened with me and her husband aside from cuddling/light touching, but when we met back up to switch back I saw the look in my Fiancé’s eyes and just felt dread. He was happier than I have ever seen him, and as I found out later they went further than we did. This was shocking to me since he’s always been so shy, I didn’t think they would actually do anything out of sheer shy awkwardness on both ends. Since talking to him about this he’s been nicer than he normally is to me which in all honesty kind of makes me feel worse. It tells me he feels guilty but if there was no real feelings there, then there should be no guilt right? I could just be paranoid about my own insecurities. But I appreciate any advice on how to accept/overcome my initial jealousy streak.

*TL;DR Fiancé and I decided to play with another couple. Fiancé said some things to other woman that upset me. Don’t know how to get over it, or if it’s just my own insecurities. *

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Girlfriend [19] keeps guys who hit on her around as "friends", confused?

Recently me and my SO of 3 years have become temporarily long distance and she has turned 19 since, and has been enjoying clubbing twice a week and dancing having nights out with her friends! however, she is constantly being hit on by males, and while that is absolutely natural. she attempts to turn them into her friends, she will hangout with them, text them and accept drinks from them all while overlooking their intentions. it has accumulated to where she has her 2 friends that are girls. and a large amount of guy friends, which constantly hit on her. this makes me uncomfortable, if i had friends who hit on me and wouldn't respect mine or my SO boundries, i would assume they're not my friend at all, and dont have friendly intentions, nor should i try and change them into having them...

when i asked her about it, she said "they deserve a chance to be my friend when they know i have a boyfriend".

She has stated she has a hard time getting friends that are girls, cause shes afraid they wont like her. (shes very short and high pitched voice, and believes girls will see her as just "awe your cute")

im moreso curious as to why she thinks these are her "friends", are they her friends? im not worried about cheating, however is she looking for male aproval? anyone have experience with this?

tl;dr - girlfriend gets hit on by guys and keeps them around labelling them as friends, even though they continue to hit on her.

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Me [33F] with my husband [40m] of 10 years got in a physical fight. Can we recover?

My husband and I are on a vacation in Europe to celebrate our 10th anniversary. We have three children together. I had some concerns about this trip because my husband is a very awful person when he drinks (I can be too so I choose not to drink). One time about five years ago he got way too drunk at a small gathering at his bosses' house, humiliated me (and himself but he didn't see it that way) and on the way home he punched me on my hand while I was driving us home and trying to turn down the radio. I got home and called the police because I absolutely don't accept this. They did nothing. I went to al anon for a while, we had talks and he agreed to slow down while drinking.

Its not that he drinks too often because he doesn't, but in a social setting he gets way too drunk. Puking is not uncommon when he does drink, horrible behavior is assured.

Our vacation started with Oktoberfest so I was understandably worried. I'd actually asked to cancel this trip a few times. I hate flying and I don't like drinking at this point at all, for either of us. We went and things went predictibly bad. We were with a tour group and my husband left for a very long time. More than an hour. The group left me while I waited for him. I went back to the hotel and there he was on the U train. I pushed him. Yes, I did. I was angry, I had some beer (but was sober, I took a breathalyzer). Well, that did not go over well. We got to the room and he beat the poo poo out of me. When I screamed for the police he strangled me. He put his hand in my mouth and tore the skin under my tongue, split my lip and I am absolutely covered in bruises and even some things that look worse than any bruise I've seen. I ran to the hotel lobby after biting him. The police came, they asked if we have a joint bank account and how much is in it. I said yes and gave a rough estimate. He said if they arrest him it will cost thousands of euros to pay the fine and then how can I afford a flight home? They helped me get him removed from the hotel and they left. My husband stole my cell phone and lied to the police and said he didn't have it. Husband just went outside and stayed in the park. He had food courtiers deliver me notes asking to talk. I went out and got my phone back which he had hid in the bushes. I misplaced my passport and in kind of a panic I ended up letting him back in my hotel the next night.

I am still on this trip right now. We have four countries planned for nearly a month trip. I looked at flights home that were like two thousand us dollars. If I go home I have to explain all of this to everyone and I don't even know how I will do this. He said he was so forceful because he was scared when I yelled for the police. So because he was scared he strangled me??

Anyway its been four days now. He's very clingy but will not stop drinking despite me saying the only way we are continuing the trip is with no alcohol at all. We are in Italy you haaaave to have wine. Next is Ireland with a pub crawl tour which I'm calling to cancel myself today. He has been very apologetic but also sort of blaming me for starting it by pushing him in public. I look like I've been in a car accident. My body hurts too much to touch but he has already tried for sex two nights in a row and got angry and huffy when I refused and told him my body hurts and that I'm still undecided if we would even stay together after the trip. He said he was really scared I'd divorce him and it made me very worried. The last time he got scared I paid for it dearly. My children are with his parents and before I left, I signed a will giving them custody should we die on this trip.

So, I realize how bad all of this sounds now that I've written it out. I've had no time to process this because of the travel and all of the stuff we've kept busy with during the day but at night I'm just sick to my stomach to go back to the hotel and argue over sex and our relationship.

How can I make it through this trip and get home without pissing him off? I normally have a very high libido and don't withold sex for any reason so this is very unusual. When we get home, I have to figure out if marriage counseling will save us or if he's even capible of saying no more alcohol. Is it even possible to recover from this because I felt the situation five years ago was his second chance.

tl;dr: I'm stuck in a foreign country on a lengthy vacation and my husband started off by getting drunk and beating the poo poo out of me. He's hit me one time before, five years ago, in our 14 years together (10 married). What should I do?

Edit: thank you for all the replies and information here and via pm. I can't get alone long enough to reply directly. I will go to the consulate when I arrive in Dublin tomorrow.

Gaunab posted: