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Nazzadan posted:You are a homosexual? You posted a sexually confused teenager's photo in a mock thread, why, exactly? 
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Mar 15, 2017 00:58
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Batterypowered7 posted:Don't have kids if you need to be persuaded into having one. Some people just aren't meant to have children. Seriously. Don't do it. If parenthood doesn't excite you find something that does. for GOD'S SAKE, MAN, DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID edit: right now she's expecting that at some point you will be thrilled and overjoyed to have a baby, which translates to you doing all the work. she thinks that if this set number of steps is followed correctly you'll somehow become the magic disney dude she needs for her life-plan to play out like a sitcom clip show & she will absolutely resent the living gently caress out of you when your normal-dude effort isn't enough to make parenthood anything but the living hell it is
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Mar 29, 2017 14:53
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TheScott2K posted:Jesus. if good intentions were a bus driver everyone would be plunging the gently caress off of cliffs 24/7. never marry an optimist.
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Mar 29, 2017 16:09
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derra posted:it's not like actually having a kid stops the judging and bitching anyway. People are really weird about parenthood. loving exactly, then it's all "you're not holding the baby right" "dont put the baby face-down in the crib it'll die of mumphis" "don't do sick vape tricks for youtube while yr holding the baby" "it doesnt matter that red bull is willing to sponsor your baby themed vape tour i want you home bored on the couch watching me drink tea" the worst thing about parents is being the only reasonable half of a two headed hydra of self loathing.
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Mar 29, 2017 16:16
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well folks my wife is at it again, she caught me drinking beers behind the mower shed so now she's stuffing her nose into my mouth to measure my levels of intoxication. thankfully her family wheat allergy flares up any time she does this immediately after i eat bread so my new routine is to wait for her to settle down for one of her Ironman Powernaps, then i immediately chug a quarter mason jar of moonshine & greedily horf down an entire loaf of grocery store garlic bread such that when she awakes and screeches for my breath she gets a big ole cloud of Celiac Poison.  ahhhhh do,estic bliss! im so glad my life 24/7 proves these childfree redpillers right, 24/7!~a r e a s o n a b l e m a n w r o t e ~
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Mar 30, 2017 13:34
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Lone Goat posted:She needs to i hope elsa animates this one with "coach" "codachrome wayne" or w/e his name is as two jizz covered tubesocks talking about how smoothe his lines are
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Mar 30, 2017 17:15
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because she's already looking after 4 children and doesn't need a 5th.
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my wife learned to give handjobs by sexing snakes in the australian outback. her toilet was full of frogs she'd have to throw out a window with a pasta strainer. one time she didn't look and there was a frog in the toilet with her leavings. she couldn't flush the frog cuz it would clog the pipes so she got a pellet gun and shot it to pieces before flushing the whole mess.
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Mar 30, 2017 17:59
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Surprised more wives don't cut off their husband's asses preemptively to stop this tomfoolery once and for all.
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Mar 30, 2017 18:50
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yeah personal/professional social media account security is something a lot of white collar professionals just profoundly don't grasp. as an ESL tutor I keep a professional account where I put stuff that might be of use to the learners who follow me, because i am a firm believer in that every opportunity is a learning opportunity. put the material where the student interest is, and the learning does itself. my wife however is a breeder of rare beetles so her personal/private life is more blended together, she uses twittler to find other beetle breeders to swap bugs with. occasionally she also shows me pictures of dogs she approves of.
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Mar 30, 2017 19:49
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Beetle breeding is alright. i liked it better when she was cooperating with park services to reintroduce endangered butterflies to massachusetts but the grant money got redirected to loving solar road bullshit. she fell to breeding fighting beetles for dancing money but got burned out pretty quick. there was some twitter drama last year and someone accused her of releasing predatory mantises into the sales floor at Beetlecon so poo poo's just been fuckin haywire since then. i think someone threw a container of ladybugs at my window. either that or a robin sitting on my rain gutter puked. anyway haha I found this post just by the hilarious title alone: My [30M] wife [34F] ran afoul of Yakuza beetle warriors & now all the teppanyaki chefs in town constantly cut my tires every time I want teppanyaki. What should I do? the post isn't important so don't bother googling it. That hilarious title is hilarious enough that it warrants discussion on its own merit. I mean obviously this dude shouldn't go on some kind of rampage because, rampages are never good. but what SHOULD he do, do you think?
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Mar 30, 2017 22:12
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hey previous poster whom i'm not gonna quote: Beetlecon happens so folks can show off unique morphs and the physical prowress of their (now often patented) beetle lineage. also so beetle breeders can meet and gently caress, theyre the only internet subculture with no dedicated dating app, so much like insects themselves they frequently save up all their sexhaving for that one glorious weekend in Boise. MF_James posted:I had a friend that bred something like 300 preying mantis' and released them into a park near his house, they are not native to the area, quickly took over, and are still there to this day... oddly though they didn't really spread out to neighboring areas. the exotic pet trade is basically 100% low-grade Captain Planet villains. i'm glad your friend is about to get his doorstep shat on when you PM me his address later.
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Mar 30, 2017 23:07
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MF_James posted:oh he wasn't in the pet trade, just did it for funsies. please inform him that ecocide is neither fun, nor cool, nor a dank meme stash. i mean i would also tell him if. . . certain things were PMd. into my inbox. edit: mods ignore this post.
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Mar 30, 2017 23:22
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Who What Now posted:Why the gently caress aren't the super-beetle fights televised or at least up on YouTube? my man: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwH7XxdK8NA have a good 'tubecrawl
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Mar 31, 2017 00:00
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My Wife got big into the beetle biz initially when she won a government contract to use binoculars and count every tree in Worcester to make sure not too too many of them were lost to Invading Asian Cock-Snatchers or something similar (fuuuuuuck common names) but eventually was lured out of public service by the glitz and glamor of Big Private Beetle Wars. edit: everyone please ignore this post.
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Mar 31, 2017 00:19
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If you ever want to find out which one of your lovely college roomates is stealing your lube, mix in edible glitter.
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Mar 31, 2017 02:24
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The Lone Badger posted:Why only one implant? how many fuckin ears do you think people got, huh? jesus. whered he even PUT the second? ugh no, dont answer that. goons. turning fuckin everything into buttplugs. ugh. this is going in my diary
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Mar 31, 2017 06:16
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Gluten Freeman posted:I really want more info on this women in loveless relationships compensate with pets as pets cannot shame them for allowing their beetle habit to bring yakuza wrath on your polycule.
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Apr 1, 2017 04:08
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new phone who dis posted:I 100% agree that guy is a dick but sensitivity is a huge problem for a lot of guys with condoms and it can cause erectile issues. Just like diffrent birth control methods have variable effects on women, dudes have different responses to condoms. so glad it's the dude with the trump avatar low-key admitting to have the world's softest, most baby-like dick. idk what yr problem is i am pirapisiming 24/7 with my enormous turgid rod of sexy socialism. my hog if plum fuckin' purple, swole up so got dang ridic i can urethrally sound myself with a mother fuckin banana. i whip this beast out your wife spends the rest of her life screaming. i willllll gently caress your guns until they become electric-assist bicycle motors. i will rub my balls on your steering wheel so much your truck becomes a honda civic hybrid model w/the manual transmission. "how do hybrids even have a manual transmission?" youll cry while retching from the manly stink of my gangrenous gonads. "i can't drive a manual transmission because it will ruin my manicure, somehow."
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Apr 3, 2017 13:27
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At least children will be there for you in your old age. You raise beetles all you get is a shat-on carpet and beetle skeletons clogging up the windows.
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Apr 3, 2017 16:21
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Mirthless posted:Tell that to the millions of elderly people living in retirement homes who never see their kids theres this weird thing where conservatives and leftists who both read abt life from blogs have this rigid IF/THEN grasp on relationship dynamics or life in general. like in conservatives it's IF yr poor THEN u didnt work hard enough whereas in libby lib-libs like mirthless its "IF my parents hated me THEN all parents and children loath each other." anyway mirthless heres how it works: death is a curse on the living. you have to have more babies to continue the curse or all of society ends. there wont be enough people to hold the yakuza beetle hordes at bay & theyll eat all the crops. with no young succulebnt flesh society gets top heavy wit olds and collapses. im having kids to outsorce the burden of my life, lmao if ur too scared of committmentt to do the same
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Apr 3, 2017 16:43
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Underage drinking is a huge problem. Alcohol is a poison, and at a crucial stage in their development these girls are basically sticking a god drat immersion blender into their one brain. Their ONE brain. I cant even imagine what kind of criminal predispositions they're entering now, that their moral compasses are so horribly misaligned. My neighborhood recently had a string of teen rainbow parties organized by rabble-rousing bosuzoku gangs. they would use imported oriental sexpots to lure our good christian teens and preteens into their Mobile Hookah Dens for heavy petting sessions & ISIS indoctrination. My wife called the cops the last time these rowdy bosuzoku rolled over my begonias, didn't do much since the cops are all owned by the Yakuza handlers who are the puppetmasters behind these rowdy bosuzoku.
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Apr 4, 2017 17:11
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if a person 21+ can still get an Arousal in their childhood bedroom they should Not Be At Home.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:32
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I knew a Dave once. He and his friend John were burnouts in my hometown's one band growing up, they ended up wacked out on thsi weird drug they called "Soy Sauce" and blew up like half the town trying to fight an extradimensional pig-computer. They ended up making an awesome movie about it, they called it Girl, Interrupted.
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Apr 4, 2017 20:37
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new phone who dis posted:In his situation I would hire a lawyer on the sly and go from there. Assume malign intent on the part of the wife and do as much as possible behind the scenes to prepare. too late. he consensually spermjacked himself (con-self-sper-jack as the redpillers call it) his best option now is to neg the baby so righteously that his wife deescalates all forthcoming shittests from now on until the end of time. GORILLA MINDSET. eat half the baby throw it at the wife. make the fambly great again.
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Apr 5, 2017 06:16
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if "society" does have a "red pill" that lets you see "the truth" it's the fact that violence is 100% the foundation of all American society and suffuses every single aspect of every social dynamic. If you're a sheltered white kid who became a sheltered white adult with only white adult friends its easy to think that this world is how it is because it's the right way. you get close with even ONE person who has felt the world's lash, your perspective gets blown the gently caress open. i pray y'all rape joking rear end muppets spend the rest of your lives atoning. edit: everyone works to make everything better for everyone. that's community. that's the strength of human society. the power. . . of pine-soul.
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Apr 5, 2017 14:54
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new phone who dis posted:In my experience many teenage girls are disappointed when you don't also act like a teenage girl when they tell you something. well let them out of your loving van then.
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Apr 5, 2017 16:35
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when My Wife and I went on our Sexual Sabbatical she found it difficult to meet men who would not immediately pledge their lives to her, often demonstrating so by driving a knife into their hearts, at the slightest sign of a frown from her flawless, shining lips. thats why her vanity mirror comes complete with an old-timey-photographer's cloak, because to gaze upon her directly would drive me gibbering into hitherto unplumbed dimenses of pure screeching madness. ALSO CUZ SHE SHY
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Apr 6, 2017 17:58
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Submarine Sandpaper posted:nonononononono single source feeding doesn't work. science's grasp of nutrition isn't established well enough to figure out how much of everything one person needs because we don't even know what all the different parts do yet. eat a wide variety of foodstuffs to make sure you get all the nutrients. also grow all of your own vegetables by making GBS threads in martian dirt and scrape the filth off your body with olive oil and long sticks, as the romans once did. #ancientwisdom
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Apr 6, 2017 19:37
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when offered an opportunity to teach abroad I specifically avoided India because I knew I'd get SO loving FAT. APPARENTLY goones think that means i have an India Disorder. I would be unable to teach because you can't talk if you're drinking curry directly from the buffet vat. j/o into a rolled up naan, freeze it, gently caress myself with it in a korma bath while the theme song from Singham plays. make it fuckin rain saffron on my basmati rear end. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BM0PnqV5-iM tear off my sack, fry it onion bajj style. let vultures tear the meat off my bones for samosas. none of you saltless calorie counting bitches even fathoms less than a thousanth of a percent of the glory that is indian food. sister is upset cause her sibling brought Honkey Bullshit into her sacred kitchen. skim milk? motherfucker should be hung from his ears. how DARE he.
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Apr 6, 2017 19:59
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My butt got put on sideways.
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Apr 6, 2017 21:18
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GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:High five fellow basmati eating motherfucker. It's all true. I rubbed myself in Ghee at your post. i wanna try making hollaindaise with ghee cuz i had a coconut oil version that was so good it made broccoli acceptable
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Apr 6, 2017 22:29
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my bad i originally meant to say asparagus. asparagus is wild loving nasty. 98 cents a pound to take it out back and taze it. taze that nasty rear end vegetable. shame on asparagus. sorry broccolli i disrespected you over nothing. shucks.
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Apr 6, 2017 23:39
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Bell peppers are hollow because much like myslef, theya're dead inside edit: my favoriet party trick is to bring a bottle of everclear that i have fill ed with water. do shots with only drunk people, its the funniest thing. normally people are like "ha ha they got hella drunk" when u slip someone illegal everclear. but secret water? hydration. fresh taste. everyone loves water slippage.
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Apr 7, 2017 16:27
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If the Bible has taught me anything, the twin sisters will both walk in on the guy jerking it and then have a threesome with their dad
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Apr 7, 2017 21:12
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54 40 or gently caress posted:I am losing my poo poo at "Pnurtis" lmao oh my god I hope she tells at least a handful of other people that name and they just burst out laughing. And I was self conscious about Conan being too weird (probably not our pick tho) i knew a kid named DICK KING JR but he was kinda roly-poly and not terrifically regal so i started calling him FRED cuz middle schoolers are pricks and it stuck and all my 3 friends started calling him FRED and it spread so much that eventually any time he wandered out of class or got lost the PA system would just call for FRED. there were other Freds in the school but they immediately became Fred <LASTNAME> in order to differentiate from the FRED SUPREME. i was over at his house uninstalling all his anime porn toolbars on the family's PC when i heard his parents call him FRED. i felt so bad & still do to this day. nicknames are fuckin dangerous is what im saying. also small towns are toxic & preteens are jerks. hi sorry i kinda got carried away.
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Apr 10, 2017 14:27
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Slugworth posted:For some reason, the clothes borrowing thing is what tips the scales to me more than anything else. I've never known two straight men to share clothes. Everything else there I can buy as two real close friends. i had this blow up in my face. as i was moving i lent a friend a robe to use as a costume piece in this theater thing he does. the robe was full of hella significant meaning & he held onto it for a few months, growing pretty attached to how it looked on the stage. After i fell out with the theater group (they stole a kitten) the dude refused to return the robe, so I had to stake him to the ground with a yew bough and disenchant his whole rear end. pulled off the robe and most of his skin with it accidentally. he's either fine or he isn't, either way there's no patching that rift.
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Apr 11, 2017 14:04
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Drunk Nerds posted:Serious answer, even though you're obviously being pedantic. Adding salt at the beginning of the recipe, so that all the tastes infuse evenly throughout, is of course fine. Adding salt in a way that makes vegetables and meats taste salty, like at all, is some American obesity epidemic-causing B.S. Salt doesn't cause obesity.
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Apr 11, 2017 17:05
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Mirthless posted:well you see good tasting food is ADDICTIVE and therefore salt is exactly crack cocaine when it comes to obesity I know you're joking but let me Mirthless on a Mirthless post for a hot second: The ACTUAL REASON White Americans are so got dang unable to season their food is due to rationing during the great depression/dust bowl. The state aid agencies providing food relief believed that spices increased feelings of hunger, so bland foodstock was chosen and accompanying recipes downplayed the role of spices and seasonings, leading to huge swaths of the country completely devoid of any cultural cooking history tied to local ingredients (which are sod, or extinct) or generally much sense when it comes to food in general. American cuisine basically went through a society-wide meltdown and has only very recently, in very select parts of the country, began to recover.
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Apr 11, 2017 17:14
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Pick posted:They invented the cultural hellscape of the midwest?! yah i'm not dredging anything up on google but there was an occasional recipe bulletin put out by like Uncle Sam's Wife or George Washington's Girlfriend or some "Feminine Archetype" to teach all these new prairie moms what to do with beans, cuz you can't just give people food they've never seen before without teaching them how to use it. it was released by the same relief agency giving the food. anyway thanks for reading me half-remember a thinkpeice.
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Apr 11, 2017 17:38
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derra posted:They have a 1 month old baby, who required an extended hospital stay. They are new parents adjusting to a crying baby and are exhausted. They had an unwanted houseguest who keeps trampling over their wishes. I give their story more credibility because it's the wife complaining about her mom and I assume she knows what grandma is like as a parent. 100% correct. everyone shut the gently caress up about what is and isn't "legal" and recognize that these two struggle muppets need a loving nap.
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Apr 11, 2017 20:15
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