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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Bonster posted:

Welp...

quote:

The incident of "youthful curiosity" was severely underplayed and was not the only incident.

I'm guessing this is shame code for violent sexual assault or rape.


EDIT: Wow. Or that.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 15:40 on Mar 1, 2017

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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Yeah just caught your edit.

I am so loving happy this woman is getting out of that. For the nightmare she found herself in this is probably the best of all possible outcomes for her - away from him and getting her head on straight with the help of a professional.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

WampaLord posted:

Remember, there are no chicks with dicks, there's just dudes with tits.

And a whole lot of transphobic bigots.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Bubblyblubber posted:

Here's a family that knows what's up:

I [27M] am raising my sister [17F] and she's a lesbian. A school sports coach said it's because she doesn't have proper parents and my sister reacted. I'm called to school.


:thurman:

The meeting is probably about how the sister is going to be offered the coach's job after displaying such crazy dunking skillz.

Now this is a story I want to see continued :munch:

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

watching animals kill each other was like 75% of entertainment people had before TV, but otoh the other 25% was coming up with inventive ways to torture people so
her fixation definitely tips the 'serial killer' end of the scale.

I was married to a biologist who made extra cash working off tour boats and she - and all her colleagues - would be described as exceptionally weird by most people when it came to death and the remains of animals. They, of course, would just call it professional curiosity.

More than once, she'd drag home the remains of something :airquote:interesting:airquote: which had just died so she could poke it with a stick dissect it. Everything from a giant cuttlefish to the sharp end of a shark she'd watched get bitten in half by a crocodile and then dragged into the tour boat to the utter horror of all the poor passengers.

I couldn't count the number of times I would come home to find the something unspeakable in an esky by the door and have her shout, "Don't touch that, I want its eyeballs!"

But she and her colleagues would never go out of their way to watch animals die. Death happens, but it's just one part of life. Going out of your way to seek out that, and only that?

That's pretty hosed up.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

WampaLord posted:

It's a depression thing.

And a goon thing.

Every time there's a thread where showering comes up, stanky goons come out of the woodwork to say how they don't actually stink and it's perfectly okay they only shower once a month and never wear deodorant.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

zakharov posted:

Weddings! Horrible parents!


Usually the fiance would be a spineless wimp in this story so that's a refreshing change. Hope these two like not being invited to the wedding.

gently caress me, the only thing worst that those parents was the amount of abbreviations in that story.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Cough Drop The Beat posted:

I'm not a lawyer (obviously), but I know plenty of people in such situations with 50/50 shared custody or close to it, so I'm pretty sure horror stories are not the norm. While I'm sure unfair judgments happens on occasion and it really sucks to lose your kid, the courts are pretty fair in custody situations and don't want to ruin lives too badly.

Social worker friends have corroborated over the years how the courts are mostly fair in custody battles too.

The reason men get so bent out of shape in custody disputes is because the court doesn't really care about them at all - by design.

They care about the welfare of the child.

And so they bloody well should.

These men, who feel the entire world exists just to serve them, tend to lose their poo poo about not being the focus of everything so you can imagine how going through an entire court case where nobody really gives a poo poo what they think makes them feel.





* Ha, betcha thought I was gonna segue into an MRA rant there, didn't ya.



Clark Nova posted:

What if all the abuse is just a long con to get her to *not* name him as the father and swear off any involvement with him as way for him to not have to pay child support?


Then she takes him to court and gets the payments anyway. Childcare isn't about what the dad wants, it's about the two people who created a child ensuring its welfare. Which is why even abusive deadbeats have to pay.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Cumslut1895 posted:

*court hands child over to abusive drug addict*

So how terrible did the guy have to be for that to happen?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

pretty sure I had this neighbor back when she'd call in everyone standing on the sidewalk as a drug dealer

I had that happen with a neighbour. Well, I should say everyone on my street had it happen.

Evil loving old crone with nothing better to do than try to make everyone else's life as miserable as hers. Eventually the cops read her the riot act and a family further up the street took out some kind of restraining order against her and threatened to sue her after she called the fire brigade and police on them for digging up their front lawn to put in garden beds and she decided they had severed an underground gas line and tried to get the entire block evacuated.

Turns out the fire brigade takes that poo poo insanely seriously and I've never seen so many fire trucks and cop cars in my goddamn life.

I got the cops called on me more times than I could count for "suspicious people" visiting at all hours which was usually me getting home from work at the insane hour of 7pm :ohdear: so I got off pretty lightly.

Still, it all worked out for the best in the end. She died :dadjoke:

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Barudak posted:

Im just lobbing it out here but given this guy's lineage he may not be very far from exposing his own murder plots against himself.

I think I've found his real name:

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Goddamn, I would have been out of there the same night they showed me the loving safe.

"So yeah, our drug dealer friend is being actively watched by the police so we decided to store all his drugs in our house."

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

54 40 or gently caress posted:

The whole thing is like washing fruits and veggies you buy. I was pretty lax about it until I was shopping and this woman sneezed into her hand (and it sound wet af), then started rifling through all the tomatoes.

Heathens

I know I never used to.

I was raised in a very backwards rural area and only had tank water for most of my childhood which was only filled up every couple of weeks. Even when we upgraded to bore water, if you would do something as 'wasteful' as wash your fruit you'd get the poo poo beaten out of you.

"Rub it on your shirt if it's dirty" - even if it was covered in birdshit or had holes from insects eating their way through it. Yay, the magic of childhood in the bush.

As an adult I still grew most of my own stuff or bought it direct off farmers and never got into the habit. Which was dumb.

Even more dumb was not doing it with stuff I bought from supermarkets.

Now I wash everything, not just for hygiene but because gently caress my childhood.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Nazzadan posted:

My wife has been having "online" affairs. I caught her 3 days ago, she told me she loved me and didn't want to lose me, and now I just found out she simply created a new account and moved her flirts over there.

quote:

She liked the attention and wasn't thinking of me while doing it

Well, obviously.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
I remember the last China thread where one of those lovely glass bottomed bridges started to crack and there was a quote from a local man about he proudly shoved all the women and children in front of him to the ground so he could get off the bridge first.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Zzulu posted:

dad is just upset the baby doesn't like him so he took it out on amazon mommy

Yeah, dad's a loving idiot.


Babies play favourites - they're babies.

And if you wait five minutes they'll only want to be picked up by you and push mum away when she tries to kiss him.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

PleasingFungus posted:

it's your lucky day!

Wow, what a useless piece of poo poo father that guy is. Beat a young child with a belt all over his body? Just doing what they thought was right? The gently caress!

The baby's grandfather should definitely never be left alone with the kid ever again - if the wife somehow loses her mind and even lets him see the child ever again.

Good on her for giving a taste of his own medicine.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
He's the au pair and didn't even know it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dpYxDAIALtU

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
There's no problem with splitting the bills. Making a profit from your lover, however, is a totally different matter.

But from the original post, we don't really know which one it is.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
On the other hand, if he survives the surgery it will look loving incredible on a resume!

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
What are the odds of a half-brother being a good donor choice anyway? Pretty slim.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Das Boo posted:

I think once you have to invent a term to label your fandom/hatedom, you're in too deep.

Goons :rolleyes:

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

sixth and maimed posted:

Or another example, in Dutch the word for 'mute' is stom, a homonym which also means dumb.

Ditto, English.

As in "deaf, dumb and blind"

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Ride The Gravitron posted:

I don't think is fair to hold his animal instincts when he's scared out of his mind. This isn't "Went to Wal-Mart and forgot the baby."

He is a father of a loving baby.

drat straight he should be held to account for running off and, as far as he knew, leaving his newborn child to the mercy of a murderer.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

WampaLord posted:

Honestly, I can't say, but most actual emergencies are not as frightening as this prank in my opinion. Like, a fire doesn't get all up in your face and yell at you.

So now you're saying that a man should only be expected to protect his infant child in moderately frightening situations? What the actual gently caress?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

La Brea Carpet posted:

Caught boyfriend [M25] in the act this morning. Extremely embarrassed. What can I [F26] do?

Wait - he was jerking off to a picture of you?

That's a keeper.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Khorne posted:

Or stop being afraid of other people all the time? Anyone with that mindset is perpetually abusing themselves.

So, on a scale of one to ten, how middle class, white and male are you?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
So about a 9 - 9.5, on the middle class white male scale then?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

zakharov posted:

Khorne this really is the epitome of mansplaining

Did you know that Khorne also does not :airquote:see:airquote: race?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Gloryhold It! posted:

Well excuse me for trying to explain something that people didn't understand

Don't worry, some people in this thread are just as broke brained as anything coming from reddit.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

SpaceClown posted:

actually re-reading that story has made me mad again

im not a mourner by any stretch of the imagination but on what loving planet would anybody ever think preventing someone from visiting a funeral of immediate family or someone else they are close to is a good and ethical idea??? i mean im not as big into drug culture as i used to be, but UH i really don't recall funerals being a part of them beyond an unfortunate likelihood of the lifestyle.

like barring everything else infuriating in that post, can we just take a minute to appreciate that monumental doozy going on right there?

I'd guess it's more about controlling her than actually caring about her dead sister.

Just another way to isolated her from her family and reduce her self esteem.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Inspection cameras are cheap and really cool:

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Haifisch posted:

I [26 M] (gay) hooked up with my [24 M] (presumably straight, catholic) best friend several times. He now regrets it and want me to forget it all.

Fly away from the closet case, young gay.

It's pretty much a textbook case of 'men who have sex with men'.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

My (18M) Mother (34F) Just Cut Me Out Of My Family's Life After I Contacted My Grandparents

It's pretty much 100% guaranteed that if a grown adult has a screaming meltdown at the mere thought of contacting their family, it's going to be due to severe abuse and rape :(

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Let me just throw in threesomes in my discussion of my girlfriend's desire to be a professional impersonator.


Also, taking advantage of a "vulnerable" 13 year old? Oh, and a car salesman?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Bubblyblubber posted:

No updates on this one, loving hate these cock teases


My (32) Fiance(30) thinks my BF (30) should not be in our wedding party because she not very attractive.

quote:

only wants attractive people in our wedding party.

No, you loving chucklehead, you only want family and the people you love in your wedding photos.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Elsa posted:

lol pick where's this "whole genre" of smegma porn

I'm guessing Japan.

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

A Wizard of Goatse posted:

Me [21 F] with this guy I've known for a while[21 M], rejected him because he's religious, now I'm the bitch.


who the gently caress cares this much about setting up their friends, how empty are their lives

If someone went through all that effort to poo poo all over me and badmouth me to all my friends just because I turned them down - no matter what the reason - I'd say I would feel pretty loving justified in my decision.

If her friends can't respect her decision to not date a petty vindictive creep then they're lovely friends and she's better off without them.



elise the great posted:

The friends don't care about setting up a lonely dude who just wants a date. They are panic-raging at the idea that someone might actually not be interested in their religion.

Also this.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Apr 24, 2017

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

GRINDCORE MEGGIDO posted:

Boyfriend giving himself enemas

quote:

Neither of us were in the wrong but we just can't coexist.

You know, I'm pretty sure the guy smearing liquid poo poo all over someone's loving bath and not telling them or even giving them a head's up before they walked in and then guilt tripping her is the one in the wrong. But maybe I'm just a prude.

He was totally doing it on purpose. Scat discovery fetish? That's a new one to me.

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Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar
Goddamn some people are so selfish. She should get her deductible paid by him and an apology at the very least.

But I bet old dad will never apologise and will insist to the very end that he was being perfectly reasonable and logical when he decided to cause damage to happen to another person's car.

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