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Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
All pitchers should be made to take lsd before games like Dock Ellis did when he pitched his no-hitter.

Then there will be no hits, runs, or any reason to play baseball anymore

Slush Garbo fucked around with this message at 18:51 on Oct 1, 2016

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Elusif

Brave Japanese Swordsman slices shameful baseball in half. Emperor satisfied in glorious resplendent victory.

big black turnout



everything remains the same except every team is replaced by star trek cast members, in character


ron color
  1. If one of the outfielders can get his drone through the holozone and past the batter into U.M.P.I.R.E. 3000, that's 3 outs
  2. The whole outfield wall moves comically back and forth, uncovering the animal pit
  3. Animal pit
  4. Announcers constantly drawing over live game feed
  5. Outfielder controlled entirely by livestream chat directions
  6. Giant Pinball
  7. If the batter catches the ball boy or hits him with a ball it activates Taco Bell Slamboy Score Multiplier
  8. Base coaches can throw a ball into play at any time
  9. The crowd can throw a ball into play at any time

alnilam

ron color posted:

  1. If one of the outfielders can get his drone through the holozone and past the batter into U.M.P.I.R.E. 3000, that's 3 outs
  2. The whole outfield wall moves comically back and forth, uncovering the animal pit
  3. Animal pit
  4. Announcers constantly drawing over live game feed
  5. Outfielder controlled entirely by livestream chat directions
  6. Giant Pinball
  7. If the batter catches the ball boy or hits him with a ball it activates Taco Bell Slamboy Score Multiplier
  8. Base coaches can throw a ball into play at any time
  9. The crowd can throw a ball into play at any time

misty mountaintop

by Hand Knit
Players must maintain their erection while at bat. Players must not have an erection while on base. Opposing players are allowed to try and give them an erection.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

social vegan



misty mountaintop posted:

Players must maintain their erection while at bat. Players must not have an erection while on base. Opposing players are allowed to try and give them an erection.

lmbo

Macnult

misty mountaintop posted:

Players must maintain their erection while at bat. Players must not have an erection while on base. Opposing players are allowed to try and give them an erection.

they do say if you want to last longer during baseball you should think about sex

big black turnout




umpire: "Look at that Man's Boner! Out!"


misty mountaintop

by Hand Knit

Macnult posted:

they do say if you want to last longer during baseball you should think about sex

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alnilam

Macnult posted:

they do say if you want to last longer during baseball you should think about sex

ron color
lol

Manifisto


ron color posted:

  1. If one of the outfielders can get his drone through the holozone and past the batter into U.M.P.I.R.E. 3000, that's 3 outs
  2. The whole outfield wall moves comically back and forth, uncovering the animal pit
  3. Animal pit
  4. Announcers constantly drawing over live game feed
  5. Outfielder controlled entirely by livestream chat directions
  6. Giant Pinball
  7. If the batter catches the ball boy or hits him with a ball it activates Taco Bell Slamboy Score Multiplier
  8. Base coaches can throw a ball into play at any time
  9. The crowd can throw a ball into play at any time


ty nesamdoom!

Gatekeeper

He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.
they should all be flying on broomsticks

treasure bear

make it so they have to touch a truck instead of the ball stuff

ron color
The field is shaped like a clue mansion, and there are nine bases, and weapons are hidden everywhere, and none of the players know who's on their team

alnilam

ron color posted:

The field is shaped like a clue mansion, and there are nine bases, and weapons are hidden everywhere, and none of the players know who's on their team

Player 1: How'd you get to seventh base from v third so fast?

Player 2: let's just say it's my little secret ;)

mysterious frankie

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
every time you pass a base the guy on the base starts crying and you have to resist the urge to go back and comfort him.

----------------
Could the universe and starts be an enlarged reflection of the atomic world?

Dogmeat


Woof!

build a robot vin scully that gives out hugs and tells anecdotes to visitors. it should also gently scold the players by implying they're spending too much time away from their families.



mysterious frankie

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.
have a designated heel who comes out to scream stuff like "baseball is not great, who here likes hockey?" to rile up the crowds. he could be like "this is not even a sport, look, I can hit a grand slam, no problem!" then the heel would go up and grab a bat and really peacock like a fool at home, then the pitcher smokes em and they twirl around comically and fall over and the team mascot leads them away while the fans on both sides go ape because they both love baseball and they come together a little bit since they realize they have some common ground (baseball).

----------------
Could the universe and starts be an enlarged reflection of the atomic world?

social vegan



mysterious frankie posted:

have a designated heel who comes out to scream stuff like "baseball is not great, who here likes hockey?" to rile up the crowds. he could be like "this is not even a sport, look, I can hit a grand slam, no problem!" then the heel would go up and grab a bat and really peacock like a fool at home, then the pitcher smokes em and they twirl around comically and fall over and the team mascot leads them away while the fans on both sides go ape because they both love baseball and they come together a little bit since they realize they have some common ground (baseball).

gatorade's better

Ostentatious

the field is see through and underneath the field is a pachinko machine.

every time someone hits a home run the ball is dropped into it, you can score up to 1, 2, 5, to even 10 points if you're lucky. a multiplier of 2 up to 4 for every person on base




mysterious frankie

This displeases Dev- ..van. Shut up.

social vegan posted:

gatorade's better

I hear pedialyte is en vogue

----------------
Could the universe and starts be an enlarged reflection of the atomic world?

the unabonger

ron color posted:

  1. If one of the outfielders can get his drone through the holozone and past the batter into U.M.P.I.R.E. 3000, that's 3 outs
  2. The whole outfield wall moves comically back and forth, uncovering the animal pit
  3. Animal pit
  4. Announcers constantly drawing over live game feed
  5. Outfielder controlled entirely by livestream chat directions
  6. Giant Pinball
  7. If the batter catches the ball boy or hits him with a ball it activates Taco Bell Slamboy Score Multiplier
  8. Base coaches can throw a ball into play at any time
  9. The crowd can throw a ball into play at any time

the unabonger

posting smiling posted:

runners wear roller blades. outfielders wear moon shoes(). basemen replaced by the spinning jousting dummies that always knock people off their horse in movies. pitcher has to yell the name of the pitch as they do it, like a super hero move.

the unabonger

free Trapt CD posted:

  • if a batter beans a fieldsman.... MULTIBALL
  • tied in the last inning? have a sudden death 'golden' 'goal' as in soccer, or football. two batters enter... one leaves.
  • ballboys
  • some of us have grass allergies. let's play on tarmac
  • why is the baseball song always the baseball song? let it be 'muskrat love' every tuesday or so.
  • bats too phallic, scare away female audience. replace with orchids
  • ressurect ty cobb
  • walk, don't run....
  • in middle school nobody ever picked me for the baseball team
  • nobody ever truly 'wins' baseball as it just continues on arbitrarily into the future. i hereby decalre baseball over. boston won or something
  • i wish that one guy would run faster

ron color

mysterious frankie posted:

every time you pass a base the guy on the base starts crying and you have to resist the urge to go back and comfort him.

mysterious frankie posted:

have a designated heel who comes out to scream stuff like "baseball is not great, who here likes hockey?" to rile up the crowds. he could be like "this is not even a sport, look, I can hit a grand slam, no problem!" then the heel would go up and grab a bat and really peacock like a fool at home, then the pitcher smokes em and they twirl around comically and fall over and the team mascot leads them away while the fans on both sides go ape because they both love baseball and they come together a little bit since they realize they have some common ground (baseball).

everything is amazing lol

Flyball

Hugh Malone posted:

All pitchers should be made to take lsd before games like Dock Ellis did when he pitched his no-hitter.
Exactly what I came in to say.

misty mountaintop

by Hand Knit
Instead of 9 guys on each team, you have, like, a million.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

BIRDCON 2017

The ball is replaced with a d12, which players take turns rolling to simulate their actions. Still played on a massive field.

City of Glompton

first, enlarge the ball. bigger, bigger, even bigger...yeah, about that big. make it black and white because that's pretty. get rid of the bat, bats are unnecessary when we have perfectly good feet that can move a ball. put the players in shorts, that's more comfortable for them, don't you agree? also, running bases is undignified, let's try to put the ball through a goal instead. let's play ball!


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

deep dish peat moss

It would be Hitler vs. the MLBA

WHY GOD KILL ME

have the players chew salvia rather than tobacco or gum

Jerry Mumphrey

by zen death robot

(and can't post for 4 years!)

a lucky little kid in a traffic cop
uniform can drive onto the field on a segway and give players tickets for not smiling

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social vegan



if everyone was happy

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