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Neurolimal posted:[Howl's Moving Castle, but the castle is the feminist bookstore from Portlandia) Is somebody moving the feminist bookstore??
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Oct 2, 2016 02:05
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Moon Atari posted:I was only able to sleep at night because I believed the horror was confined to a bookstore in Portland. Now I know that it is more of an abstract cosmic force of feminine hatred that can occupy any enclosed space, even those outside of traditionally black neighborhoods. I am afraid. You have no idea. Twenty minutes in and i am being hate-pegged by a woman who is reading the SCUM Manifesto to me at the same time. And I like it. My God, I like it.
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Oct 2, 2016 02:12
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it: Thoth won't help you write your way out of this one buddy. RIP.
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Oct 2, 2016 02:21
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We are born of the feminist bookstore from Portlandia We are made men by the feminist bookstore from Portlandia We are undone by the feminist bookstore from Portlandia
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Oct 2, 2016 02:21
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Feminist bookstore from Portlandia, now might be a really good time to get angry. That's my secret, Cisgendered White Male. I'm always angry.
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Oct 2, 2016 02:22
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it: I am Satin - Lord of Fabric and Weaving. Why hast thou summoned me with thine refrigerator?
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Oct 2, 2016 02:58
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Portlandia delenda est.
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Oct 2, 2016 03:37
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mysterious frankie posted:You have no idea. Twenty minutes in and i am being hate-pegged by a woman who is reading the SCUM Manifesto to me at the same time. And I like it. My God, I like it. wow uh, what a horrible thing *visibly sweats*
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Oct 2, 2016 03:41
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This is the thing that troubles me, for I cannot forget Portland where black stars hang in the heavens; where the shadows of men's thoughts lengthen in the afternoon, when the twin suns sink into the lake of Trillium; and my mind will bear for ever the memory of the Portland Feminist Bookstore. I pray God will curse the writer, as the writer has cursed the world with its beautiful stupendous creation, terrible in its simplicity, irresistible in its truth--a world which now trembles before the Feminist Bookstore in Portland.
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Oct 2, 2016 03:59
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"Be that word our sign of parting, shop or fiend!" I shrieked, upstarting "Get thee back into the tempest and the Nights Plutonian shore! Leave no flyer as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken! Leave my loneliness unbroken!quit the bust above my door! Take thy receipt from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!" Quoth the Feminist Bookstore, "Portlandia." Gene Hackman Fan fucked around with this message at 04:16 on Oct 2, 2016 |
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Oct 2, 2016 04:11
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 FactsAreUseless posted:Morpheus: You'll jack in at the feminist bookstore from Portlandia. Toadvine fucked around with this message at 04:31 on Oct 2, 2016 |
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Oct 2, 2016 04:27
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I thought women only liked scrapbooks
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Oct 2, 2016 04:28
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the ol pump-n-bump posted:The feminist movement was started by the rockafellers to get the woman out of the house and into a taxable position, while giving the state the abiity to subvert their kids minds 8 hours a day....at the same time, increasing inflation and counter culture ideas of a cohesive family being undesirable, has lead to a total destruction of the american family a shameful probation
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Oct 2, 2016 04:34
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nigga crab pollock posted:a shameful probation If only his post had started with "the feminist bookstore" instead of "the feminist movement" it would have fit right in.
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Oct 2, 2016 04:50
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The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel. “It’s not like I’m a feminist,” Case heard someone say, as he shouldered his way through the crowd around the door of the feminist bookstore from Portlandia. “It’s like my body’s developed this massive feminist deficiency.” It was a feminist bookstore from Portlandia voice and a feminist bookstore from Portlandia joke.
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Oct 2, 2016 05:10
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Ah, Case. Joeboy. Quick study.FactsAreUseless posted:Ah yes, the old "George Carlin agreed with whatever I think about anything" argument. Welll in this particular case.... quote:I think mankind ought to be human kind, but they take it too far, they take themselves too seriously, pr0k fucked around with this message at 05:24 on Oct 2, 2016 |
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Oct 2, 2016 05:22
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He was looking at the feminist bookstore from Portlandia now. "I got a pair of shoes older than you are, so what the gently caress should I expect you to know?"
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Oct 2, 2016 05:42
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“pressure is too much. too many places folded inside. not enough space. must divide.” Annah interposed, “Uh, it must be in the ‘way.’ ” “What are you talking about?” “I think it’s pregnant,” Annah replied. Morte joined in, “Freaky. So where are we technically standing right now?” “I really don’t want to know the answer to that, Morte.” The voice continued speaking, ignoring my companions. “help me to divide. branch out. expand. new apertures will open. you may use them to travel to the lower ward.” “What do you need to divide?” “the floating one is upon me. repairing. it prevents me from dividing. i undo its repairs. but it returns again and again. repairs anew. must remove floating one.” I wasn’t sure I liked the implication of its words. “You want me to kill the repairman in the Feminist Bookstore?” “remove it. only then can i divide.” I knew from Iron Nalls the way to the other wards from Portlandia was currently blocked. I felt I must get to other areas of the city. If helping this… thing would do it, so be it. I found the repairman close to where I had left it. I was sure there was little chance I could convince it to just leave the area, and even if I could get it to leave, it would doubtless quickly return. However, there was a way. I went up to it, and told it I had just discovered the body of another repairman in the alley. As I thought, it was interested in what I had to say, and soon was hurrying to enter the house where I had found the dead repairman. For a moment, I gloried in my power. I realized I could easily bend those around me to my will, forcing them to my bidding regardless of the effect on their insignificant lives. But only for a moment. I had sent the repairman to its death, as surely as if I had cut off its head. One could argue it was to save another’s life, but it was doing nothing wrong, not by any scale of right and wrong I would wish to live by. I thought of the incarnation that Dak'kon and Morte had known, and knew if I followed the path that had tempted me for a moment, that is where I would end up. I considered the temptation, and saw it held no real attraction for me. Time to move on. When we returned to the being, it claimed the work the repairman had already done had weakened it enough that it could not go forward, either ‘birthing’ or undoing the repairs. It described what the repairman had done, and we agreed to undo its work. Fortunately, I had a prybar which I picked up originally in Portlandia, and with an improvised hammer the repairman’s work was soon undone. We returned to the being. It spoke again, using the ambient sounds of the Feminist Bookstore. “yes. all is in order. i am grateful.” Again the wind began to blow around me, this time with fierce intensity. The omnipresent sounds of the Feminist Bookstore began to increase in volume until the soft murmur of the voice was nearly drown out by the ensuing racket. “now you must go. division begins. the way is now open to you.” The stone face before me began to transform once again, its mass shifting and roiling as I looked on. The entire wall seemed to melt before my eyes, exposing a narrow passageway beyond. The ground underfoot suddenly began to rock violently and the soft sighing of the wind intensified to a more urgent, almost human-like moaning. I could hear the sounds of crashing stones and snapping boards all around me as we dashed into the passageway. We rushed forward, until we were beyond the area of buildings rearranging themselves. Looking back, the layout of the alleys and buildings behind us had completely changed
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Oct 2, 2016 07:18
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If my name was feminist bookstore from Portlandia... I'd tell people to just call me bookstore
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Oct 2, 2016 07:50
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misty mountaintop posted:If my name was feminist bookstore from Portlandia... I'd tell people to just call me bookstore I'd go by "from"
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Oct 2, 2016 07:59
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To get a better idea try this: focus on these words, and whatever you do don't let your eyes wander past the perimeter of this page. Now imagine just beyond your peripheral vision, maybe behind you, maybe to the side of you, maybe even in front of you, but right where you can't see it, the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is quietly closing in on you, so quiet in fact you can only hear it as silence. Find those pockets without sound. That's where it is. Right at this moment. But don't look. Keep your eyes here. Now take a deep breath. Go ahead, take an even deeper one. Only this time as you exhale try to imagine how fast it will happen, how angry the feminist bookstore from Portlandia is, how many times it will lecture you on microaggressions with its zines or are they diurnals?, don't worry, that particular detail doesn't matter, because before you have time to process that you should be moving, you should be running, you should at the very least be checking your privilege-you sure as hell should be closing this forum-you won't have time to even mansplain. Don't look. I didn't.
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Oct 2, 2016 08:01
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Welcome to the feminist bookstore Such a lovely place, such a lovely face Plenty of room at Portlandia's feminist bookstore What a nice surprise We kill cishet guys
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Oct 2, 2016 08:14
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"In my restless dreams, I see that town. Portland, OR You promised me you'd take me there again someday. But you never did. Well, I'm alone there now... In our 'special place'... Waiting for you... in the feminist bookstore from "Portlandia" .... Message from Bar NEELEYS There Was A FEMINIST BOOKSTORE Here, Its Gone Now
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Oct 2, 2016 08:44
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This is what I heard. At one time the Buddha was staying in the Jeta Grove, near the city of Sravasti. With him there was a community of 1,250 venerable monks and devoted disciples. One day before dawn, the Buddha clothed himself, and along with his disciples took up his alms bowl and entered the city to beg for food door to door, as was his custom. After he had returned and eaten, he put away his bowl and cloak, bathed his feet, and then sat with his legs crossed and body upright upon the seat arranged for him. He began mindfully fixing his attention in front of himself, while many monks approached the Buddha, and showing great reverence, seated themselves around him. After a time a most venerable monk named Subhuti, who was sitting in the congregation, rose from his seat. He uncovered his right shoulder, placed his right knee on the ground, and as he joined his palms together he respectfully bowed and then addressed the Buddha: “Most Honored One, It is truly majestic how much knowledge and wisdom your monks and disciples have been given through your most inspired teachings! It is remarkable that you look after our welfare so selflessly and so completely.” “Most Honored One, I have a question to ask you. If sons and daughters of good families want to develop the highest, most fulfilled and awakened mind, if they wish to attain the Highest Perfect Wisdom, what should they do to help quiet their drifting minds and help subdue their craving thoughts?” The Buddha then replied: "The Feminist Bookstore from Portlandia is angry."
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Oct 2, 2016 09:10
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The new unwanted book disposal facility on Portland's feminist bookstore was attacked and captured by next-generation special forces being led by members of CIS-hound.
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Oct 2, 2016 09:14
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Kelp Me! posted:George Carlin was also the conductor on Thomas the Tank Engine so do you mean Shining Time Station or do you mean Thomas the Tank Engine
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Oct 2, 2016 09:57
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it: it's too bad it didn't spawn a towel and some cleaner to wipe off all those greasy fingerprints and meat blood drippings.
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Oct 2, 2016 09:58
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Maybe if they threw in some Dean Coontz papah backs amongst their current stock they would make some moh money
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Oct 2, 2016 10:31
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it: owns
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Oct 2, 2016 11:17
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did we get them did we put the feminist bookstore from portlandia on tilt did SA claim ANOTHER victim
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Oct 2, 2016 11:31
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mysterious frankie posted:I tried this to prove it: I spelled masculinist on mine and a glory hole appeared in the fridge! got a sloppy one from a hot chick turned out to be a dude he was real cold so Iet a bro hit the showers
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Oct 2, 2016 12:08
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The car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel and the sewers are all muddied with a thousand lonely suicides and a dark wind blows. The government is corrupt and we're on so many drugs with the radio on and the curtains drawn. We are trapped in the belly of this horrible feminist bookstore And the bookstore is bleeding to death.
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Oct 2, 2016 13:19
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veni veni veni posted:it's too bad it didn't spawn a towel and some cleaner to wipe off all those greasy fingerprints and meat blood drippings. Its not meat blood drippings. Any vessel occupied with the spirit of the feminist bookstore becomes stained by a different source of blood drops.
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Oct 2, 2016 13:33
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Buckets posted:The car's on fire and there's no driver at the wheel loving 
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Oct 2, 2016 13:33
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nigga crab pollock posted:a shameful probation A gbs 1.0 probation.
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Oct 2, 2016 13:50
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"Aye, aye! It was that accursed feminist bookstore from Portlandia that razeed me; made a poor pegged lubber of me for ever and a day!" Then tossing both arms, with measureless imprecations he shouted out: "Aye, aye! and I'll chase that feminist bookstore from Portlandia round Good Hope, and round the Horn, and round the Norway Maelstrom, and round perdition's flames before I give it up. And this is what ye have shipped for, men! to chase that feminist bookstore from Portlandia on both sides of land, and over all sides of earth, till it spouts black ink and rolls bricks out."
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Oct 2, 2016 13:59
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Seven years, seven years since the fall of the patriarchs. The world since the feminist book store began its crusade for authoritarian equality was an unrecoverable flaccid sea of cuckoldry. It began with subtle cuts at the foundation of the patriarchy. Masterful tweets and blog pages filled with deconstructive social analysis met their targets with unprecedented precision. Soon it was demanded that all cultural expression conform to a feminist narrative. This at first was insufficient to degrade the rigid foundation of which the poo poo lord empire was built. But as stones of the shore break to thousands of waves over thousands of years, the once proud and firm spires of the Grand Patriarchy grew limp and soft. The power that once only infested the digital space was brought into its physical manifestation once the feminist book store opened its doors. It was not long before all biological gender was legally eliminated, soon after sexual reassignment surgery was mandatory. With men excluded from positions of power; central support for educational disciplines outside of the humanities evaporated, with the sciences deemed an uninteresting preoccupation of the oppressor, innovation slowed and what remained of society began to slip backwards. Science fiction and other 'masculine cultural relics' were prohibited, and eventually the world was consumed by darkness. The age of the blue pill had begun. Sethex fucked around with this message at 15:44 on Oct 2, 2016 |
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Oct 2, 2016 15:01
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He gazed up at the enormous face. Six years it had taken him to learn what kind of smile was hidden inside those dark oak doors. O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved the feminist bookstore from Portlandia.
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Oct 2, 2016 15:28
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FactsAreUseless posted:There's actually lots of people making jokes ITT, try it sometime! you mean these search/replace "feminist bookstore" in famous novel intros and such hahaha new gbs 
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Oct 2, 2016 15:50
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skeevy achievements posted:you mean these search/replace "feminist bookstore" in famous novel intros and such hey, i make no bones about how lovely i am at being funny. 
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Oct 2, 2016 15:52
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