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currently prepping to not see the sun till next summer, hoping for another 48 straight days of rain like we got last year
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Sep 30, 2016 19:03
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loquacius posted:You arrive home from a day of merry objectifying and microagressing to find that your house is gone. In its place is the feminist bookstore from Portlandia. The building is silent and inanimate as usual, but in the pit of your stomach you can feel a palpable sense of dread and rage emanating from its very foundation. Through the fogged windows you can perceive no details other than a dim red glow. As you approach warily, a faint rumbling can be heard from deep below the earth. Your instincts are shouting at you to flee, to run away and never stop, but you are inexplicably compelled to walk up what was once your front path, as the rumbling increases in volume and pitch. You reach for the doorknob, your hand shaking as violently as the incensed earth. Your key does not fit, but the door opens anyway. It seems almost as though gravity has rotated 90 degrees, and you fall through the doorway, there is no other word for it. Behind you, the door creaks slightly as it swings smoothly shut.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:04
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loquacius posted:You arrive home from a day of merry objectifying and microagressing to find that your house is gone. In its place is the feminist bookstore from Portlandia. The building is silent and inanimate as usual, but in the pit of your stomach you can feel a palpable sense of dread and rage emanating from its very foundation. Through the fogged windows you can perceive no details other than a dim red glow. As you approach warily, a faint rumbling can be heard from deep below the earth. Your instincts are shouting at you to flee, to run away and never stop, but you are inexplicably compelled to walk up what was once your front path, as the rumbling increases in volume and pitch. You reach for the doorknob, your hand shaking as violently as the incensed earth. Your key does not fit, but the door opens anyway. It seems almost as though gravity has rotated 90 degrees, and you fall through the doorway, there is no other word for it. Behind you, the door creaks slightly as it swings smoothly shut. can I make a 2d6 saving roll for my "well, actually" trait
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Sep 30, 2016 19:04
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Kelp Me! posted:A regular-seeming bookstore but every book contains the soul of a fallen feminist and they all scream "SMASH THE PATRIARCHY" when you open one of the books
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Sep 30, 2016 19:05
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FactsAreUseless posted:A stone age representation of the creative and destructive nature of womanhood but it's the feminist bookstore from Portlandia and dozens of cave people live in awe of it. Anthropologists find similar representations in murals dated 16000 years later on 2 different continents that had no previous contact with each other. A clay sculpture in one of Alexander the Great's storehouses indicates that the Angry Feminist Bookstore was also known to the people of his empire. It appears to be a force that has been with humankind through the ages, across all civilizations. But what does it mean? How did it come to be? We may never know.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:07
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People think Portlandia is funny and not hot garbage? Whaaaaaaaat?
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Sep 30, 2016 19:07
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bag em and tag em posted:Anthropologists find similar representations in murals dated 16000 years later on 2 different continents that had no previous contact with each other.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:07
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Haier posted:People think Portlandia is funny and not hot garbage? Whaaaaaaaat? This was my takeaway
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Sep 30, 2016 19:08
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Indiana Jones bursts out the front door of the feminist bookstore from Portlandia, yelling and running at full tilt. Comic Relief Sidekick Character, seeing the panic in his eyes, hurries to get the motorcycle started, and they're moving before Dr. Jones is even fully seated in the sidecar. "What did you find in there, Indy?" CRSC asks. "I dunno, kid," Jones replies ruggedly, "but whatever it is... it's angry." Fade out to Nazi scene.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:13
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Kelp Me! posted:FAU can we change the thread topic to asian ball jointed doll photography pls Hit up Den of Angels for all your Asian BJD related questions and concerns.   
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Sep 30, 2016 19:13
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Rubellavator posted:How can you move in a city in such a way that it is neither white flight or gentrification IIRC Portland is literally at 95% carrying capacity or some poo poo like that. You basically have to kill someone to move in. Hector Beerlioz posted:I do not watch Portlandia or read books I've read the books, but I haven't seen the movie. Moon Atari posted:This monsterous bookstore will devour us all. 
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Sep 30, 2016 19:15
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Toph Bei Fong posted:Hit up Den of Angels for all your Asian BJD related questions and concerns. jesus loving christ I rescind my request I feel like I need to show that image to someone else within 24 hours or it will come through the screen and bite my face off
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Sep 30, 2016 19:15
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Respect my bodily autonomy. Whatever that is.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:17
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Kelp Me! posted:jesus loving christ I rescind my request
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Sep 30, 2016 19:18
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kikkelivelho posted:Respect my bodily autonomy. Whatever that is. I think that means you can't get mad if I fart loudly, that's just my bodily autonomy man
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Sep 30, 2016 19:24
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Finally a shop where I can freely poo poo my pants without feeling rejected by my surroundings. If only I lived in America where such wonders are possible.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:27
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bag em and tag em posted:The feminist bookstore is angry. It rumbles and cracks have formed in the fiundation. The bookstore is angry and we do not know how to calm it. lol
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Sep 30, 2016 19:30
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Finally a safe space for the turgid droppings coming out of my pant legs.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:31
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His High Exaltedness, the great Jabba the Hutt, has decreed that you are to be terminated immediately... You will therefore be taken to Northeast Portland and cast into the gentrified black neighborhood, the nesting place of the all-powerful Angry Feminist Bookstore... In its belly, you will find a new definition of pain and suffering, as you are slowly digested over a thousand years."
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Sep 30, 2016 19:31
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How's it been open that long
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Sep 30, 2016 19:31
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Toph Bei Fong posted:Hit up Den of Angels for all your Asian BJD related questions and concerns. Gotta admit, I kind of dig danish hipster doll.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:32
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I'm sorry I forgot Hutts were hermaphrodites, anybody know the preferred pronoun for Hutts
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Sep 30, 2016 19:32
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kikkelivelho posted:Finally a safe space for the turgid droppings coming out of my pant legs. I'll have you know that this is a NEW gbs, you are thinking of the old one
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Sep 30, 2016 19:32
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Kelp Me! posted:I'm sorry I forgot Hutts were hermaphrodites, anybody know the preferred pronoun for Hutts Too late, Jabba's bodily autonomy is already violated. It's basically ruined now. Jabba will never have bodily autonomy again.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:34
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loquacius posted:Too late, Jabba's bodily autonomy is already violated. It's basically ruined now. Jabba will never have bodily autonomy again. I don't think he ever did, isn't that why he has that little monkey thing
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Sep 30, 2016 19:35
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Hector Beerlioz posted:I'll have you know that this is a NEW gbs, you are thinking of the old one Please respect my emotional and bodily autonomy
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Sep 30, 2016 19:39
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kikkelivelho posted:Please respect my emotional and bodily autonomy I'm sorry 
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Sep 30, 2016 19:45
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My uncle works for Disney and he told me some new Star Wars canon info: when Vader threw the Emperor down that big shaft, at the bottom of it was an angry feminist bookstore, and after having spent 30 years in its clutches, Palpatine emerges as Snoke the dent in Snoke's forehead is from where they removed the part of the brain responsible for misogyny
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Sep 30, 2016 19:48
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I've never played Destiny but it seems like a running theme for the levels is "ancient ruins of 20th-century human buildings, but now they're filled with monsters and ghoulies" so I eagerly await the Angry Feminist Bookstore raid
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Sep 30, 2016 19:50
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Rumor has it that there is, buried in a drawer somewhere in the FBI Archives, a floppy disk containing the Doom map of Columbine High that the shooters made beforehand. Hidden on the disk and accessible only through an obscure, long-dead flavor of Linux, embedded in several nested sets of sequential .rar files, is a file called ang_fem_bk.wad. Not a soul remains alive today that can truly claim to have loaded this file into zDoom.
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Sep 30, 2016 19:54
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Breitbart.com has learned that the feminist bookstore intends to use crowdfunding to infuse the soul of Andrea Dworkin into a flesh golem composed primarily of congealed menstrual blood using the forbidden arts of cunnilingus and necromancy.
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Sep 30, 2016 20:13
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I thought that losing bodily autonomy means you can't stop you are self from making GBS threads even when you don't want to.
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Sep 30, 2016 20:22
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DoctorStrangelove posted:I thought that losing bodily autonomy means you can't stop you are self from making GBS threads even when you don't want to. It is, and you're not allowed to make fun of anyone that shits their pants due to this reason
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Sep 30, 2016 20:25
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Terrific Accident posted:How's it been open that long those old money trust funds never dry up
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Sep 30, 2016 20:50
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BROCK LESBIAN posted:Yesterday I had to do work at someone's house and they had a second floor they never went to and when I went up there to check on stuff it was just full of dead bats. Dead bats littering the floor. I couldn't walk without stepping on a dead bat. I told them and they laughed like living underneath some kind of bat holocaust was something they knew about and were fine with. 100% chance these people are vampires or other supernatural bullshit. If you gave them your address RIP.
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Sep 30, 2016 21:01
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Kelp Me! posted:Where in this thread has an individual been named except for the mayor of Portland and Kyle McLaughlan? Where has a death threat or any sort of contact with the bookstore been mentioned? Oh I didnt read the thread, I dont mean you guys you are probably (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Sep 30, 2016 21:02
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Kelp Me! posted:also That was justified. I did what had to be done. Im not proud over it, but goddamn i got results.
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Sep 30, 2016 21:04
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Wait so is the store doing schtick now? I mean most of their complaints are just jokes from the show so.. 
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Sep 30, 2016 21:04
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ClamdestineBoyster posted:Wait so is the store doing schtick now? I mean most of their complaints are just jokes from the show so.. I would actually really appreciate it if this entire thing was Andy-Kaufman-esque performance art
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Sep 30, 2016 21:07
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kikkelivelho posted:Finally a shop where I can freely poo poo my pants without feeling rejected by my surroundings. If only I lived in America where such wonders are possible. They have non gendered open restrooms. You can poo poo your pants if you want to though, I won't micro-agress you.
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Sep 30, 2016 21:07
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