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THE 2016 CHICAGO BULLS, THE COURT OF MACHIAVELLI'S INBRED COUSINS The Chicago Bulls, once the dominant team in NBA led by Michael Jordan, have fallen into an unwatchable dysfunctional pit. As the NBA trends towards exciting, flowing offenses, the Bulls have decided on a style of basketball that largely consists of people yelling at each other and taking cheap shots in the press. The team has undergone its most dramatic makeover since the dismantling of the '90s Bulls and the formation of one of the shittiest, most unwatchable teams in the history of the NBA. Over the past two years, the Bulls have gotten rid of their cast of overachieving players and coaches that led them into the playoffs even when Derrick Rose was watching from whatever hospital he was in that day. Very few people outside the organization think this team will be anything but a bad, dysfunctional mess and the good thing is you can watch them a lot because they'll be on TV all the time. So you might as well get to know them. FRONT OFFICE  John Paxson Paxson hit a legendary shot in Game Four of the 1993 Finals for the Bulls to win a championship. That was when he was a floppy-haired point guard who ran the triangle. Now, he's a bald, surly maniac who will be in charge of the Bulls well past all of our deaths even though he does things like choke Vinny Del Negro. He's responsible for what you're about to see.  Gar Forman Forman is in charge of two things: looking like a human iguana and making sure everyone involved with the Bulls is somehow associated with Iowa State University. It is astounding to me that Royce White has not made an appearance on the Bulls yet. Traded multiple draft picks for Doug McDermott. Head Coach  Fred Hoiberg, the "Mayor of Ames, Iowa" The Bulls fired Tom Thibodeau, objectively one of the best coaches in the NBA who won a playoff series where his only offensive options were Nate Robinson and Joakim Noah, because Paxson didn't like him. So they brought in Iowa State's own Fred Hoiberg. We should note that the guy they brought in after Phil Jackson left was also a head coach at Iowa State. Hoiberg was supposed to modernize the offense with his "pace and space" system, but then brought in a bunch of ball-dominant guys who cannot or will not shoot at all. Hoiberg's Ned Flanders image differed from Thibs's raspy-voiced screaming at everyone all the time mania, but it turns out the skill you have for attracting recruits and glad-handing feed merchant boosters doesn't fly in an NBA locker room. Wade has already taken over as coach. I think Fred is a nice person and it will be sad Rajon Rondo psychologically breaks him. THE DEPARTED  Derrick Rose FROM CHICAGO. Derrick Rose's first few years were incredible. Rose could get to the rim whenever he wanted. He was the best dunking small guard in NBA. And he spent the majority of his career as a Bull grabbing his knees and discussing when he would be Back. Is Derrick Rose Back? When will he be Back? Well, he never came fully back and, in addition to the knee stuff, he kept getting injured in other ridiculous ways and left the Bulls a shadow of themselves. His trade to the Knicks was absolutely stunning, even though he had become overshadowed by Jimmy Butler. Personally, the Rose trade sucked because I am a basketball sentimentalist and if the team is not going to win anything (which they won't as long as LeBron exists) I would rather have them lose with my favorite players. But all of that has gone away because Rose is under criminal investigation for rape.  Joakim Noah The heart and soul of the Bulls left as a free agent and decided to join up with Rose on the Knicks. Noah was, as late as two years ago, one of the best defensive players in the NBA with incredible passing skills. He's been an injured shell of himself for the past couple of years and his already lovely shooting has completely deserted him. But no Bulls fan actually cares about that because Noah is really good at the things that Bulls fans care about : antagonizing LeBron, deriding the city of Cleveland, yelling a lot, being incredibly weird looking, and generally just being a really fun person to root for. He, Rose, and Thibs were the three key guys on the last era of good Bulls basketball.  Pau Gasol Gasol was a strange fit with the Bulls. In a league where teams trend smaller, the Bulls tried to jam him and Noah on the court at the same time. Pau filled the stat sheet and played well offensively, but Bulls fans got angry with him for not being a very mobile defender. Now Pau is on the Spurs, willing to sacrifice Chicago's opera scene to escape the dysfunction and I will miss turning on a Bulls game and hearing him yowl incoherently every time he did anything. THE THREE ALPHAS  Jimmy Butler, Alpha, Swingman As Butler emerged from backup defensive specialist to all-star, he and Rose had trouble coexisting. Is it Rose's team? Is it Jimmy's team? These are the types of sports headlines that Bulls fans got to read along with speculation about whether it would be Rose's team when he was Back. Media expert Derrick Rose handled it very well; last year there was a ridiculous story about how he had bought Jimmy a fancy watch or something. But then, when they traded Rose and Noah left, the old-guard voices in the locker room had cleared the way for Jimmy to take over. Then they signed Rondo and Wade and we're all bracing for some ridiculous and baroque power struggle. There are three guys who need the ball all the times and have overlapping skills and like to be in charge. Butler is a great perimeter defender and turned himself into a good scorer and his improvement in the NBA is unprecedented. Jimmy's rich and famous now, and apparently means he hangs out with Mark Wahlberg all the time, which seems really weird to me, but it could potentially lead to Wahlberg getting into a war of words with Rajon Rondo and saying "connect four" in a boston accent.  Dwyane Wade, Alpha, Shooting Guard Bulls fans loving hate Dwyane Wade. Wade is originally from Chicago and spun this as a coming home narrative, but this guy has been flopping and mugging and beating the Bulls for a decade now, and his knees are shot. There's no rhyme or reason for Wade to come here. The Bulls claimed they were getting younger and more athletic and Wade is neither of those things. The Bulls need outside shooting and Wade shot less than 20% from three last year and has never been a threat from beyond the arc. The Bulls need a guy who will fit with Fred Hoiberg and Wade clearly knows way more about basketball than him and there is no way he is going to listen to some goofy coach who tries to motivate him with Animal House clips. Wade is only a Bull because he was pissed at Pat Riley and Paxson and Forman saw an opportunity to sell tickets and jerseys and save their jobs for another couple of years. Wade is going to be miserable on this poo poo show of a team, but to be honest, the fact that he made this move purely out of spite towards Pat Riley makes me like him now.  Rajon Rondo, Alpha, Point Guard gently caress this guy. If there is one player Bulls fans hated more than Wade, it's this guy. Rondo has been a villain in Chicago since the 2009 playoffs, when he dared to lay a hand on THE CAPTAIN Kirk Hinrich and try to throw him into a scorers' table. He also laid out Brad Miller in that series and sent a wobbly, dazed Miller to the line. The Bulls desperately need a point guard who can space the floor. Rondo refuses to shoot. He hasn't played defense in years. He is obsessed with putting up empty assist numbers. Rondo has also sown discord and misery everywhere he has gone. He also has bad knees. There's no way he isn't involved in a feud with Butler, Hoiberg, or a complex series of alliances involving a trusting Doug McDermott by the end of the season and I'd be shocked if the Bulls didn't find a way to get rid of him before the end of his contract. NON-ALPHAS  Robin Lopez, C Lopez should be a defensive upgrade over Gasol. He's another likable weirdo known for feuding with NBA mascots all the time, and I'm fine with him on the team, although he's yet another big who can't shoot. This is an important note to mention that the guy who played Benny the Bull and made him into the unquestioned best mascot in the NBA is no longer on the team.  Nikola Mirotic, PF Mirotic's second season was a bit of a disappointment. He got appendicitis and missed a large chunk of games and never seemed to fit in the flow of the offense. He's a skilled offensive big who still can't really guard NBA forwards, especially when they tried to play him at the three. Niko's best move is to stand at the three-point line, make an extremely unathletic pump fake, and jump into anyone dumb enough to still fall for it after two full seasons in the NBA. He's better off the dribble than you would think as well, but in this shooting-bereft Bulls lineup, it looks like they'll just have him stand in the corner and jack threes, which he's not really that great at and is a dumb way to use a versatile scoring threat, but the Bulls loving suck at everything.  Doug McDermott, SF McDermott emerged last year as one of the better shooters in the NBA and provides some much-needed spacing for the Bulls. He also threw down a couple of brutal dunks last year, which, imagine being an NBA player and getting dunked on by Doug McDermott. McBuckets, unfortunately, can do almost nothing else. He has historically low assist numbers. He doesn't rebound. It is clear that he has no idea how to play defense whatsoever and his go to move is desperately trying to close out on a shooter that's wide open because of one of his inept, baby giraffe roational gaffes but it's too late, Doug. It's too late. I like McDermott because every once in a while he'll get hot and dump a bucket of points on some team, but he hasn't shown much in his NBA career and I can't imagine he'll do anything this season other than get screamed at by Wade and Rondo until he's a husk of a man, hiding in a tiny film room in a corner of the practice facility watching Air Bud with Fred Hoiberg. Taj Gibson  Taj is really the last Thibs guy standing on the team. Gibson has turned into a good, versatile defender with a decent baseline jumper. It's not clear how long he'll last on the team, but I'd prefer it if they can retain one of the few guys capable of playing defense on this roster.  Bobby loving Portis, PF/C Bobby is a fan favorite because he looks and plays like a complete loving maniac. He has a great shooting stroke for a big man, but struggled on defense his rookie year. This year, he dominated in Summer League and led the Summer Bulls to the title which doesn't mean anything (Tony Snell was a Summer League superstar) but it can't hurt. If he can stretch the floor, he'll be incredibly useful as almost every other Bulls player hangs out in the paint all the time. Plus, I assume he will play a key role in the inevitable Bulls Civil War.  The Legend of Cristiano Felicio, C This Brazilian spent most of the time on the bench last year until every big got hurt and Hoiberg realized that Cameron Bairstow is not an NBA player. And it turns out Felicio was pretty decent. He's not great or anything, but could defend the pick and roll better than Gasol and finish around the hoop. Another Summer League standout, Felicio should have a bigger role this season and is one of the few young players worth pretending to get excited about as Wade and Rondo are raised from their sarcophagi before every game.  Denzel Valentine, SG The Bulls' first-round pick, Valentine was an excellent all around player for Michigan State who shot well and has fantastic passing vision. He also has a history of knee problems and was not even a good defender in college. The main question is whether Valentine can compensate for his limited athleticism with his feel for the game. In my experience, he completely and utterly destroyed the Mighty Northwestern Wildcats, so obviously he is headed towards the Hall of Fame.  Paul Zipser, F The German second-rounder probably won't play much if he makes the Bulls' roster. But let's talk about his feet. He has an extra bone in his foot! He has a special shoe that allows him to play basketball because he has more bones in his feet than anyone else. You may think you have a lot of bones in your feet, but you don't have as many as him. He as more bones! OTHER GUYS Tony Snell: This loving guy Jerian Grant: Knicks draft bust traded for Derrick Rose. Athletic slasher who can't shoot who I probably has a baby monitor installed in his bedroom so Wade can continue screaming at him at all hours of the night, like if Wade wakes up at 3AM because he was thinking about a pick-and-roll coverage that Grant blew, he can just get on the horn and yell at him like he's some sort of cut-rate Mario Chalmers. This loving team. OVERVIEW This team is a bubbling cauldron of dysfunction. It has been in opposition to everything smart teams have been doing for the last decade and none of the pieces make sense. It is a combination of strong-willed players and doofy coaches that is guaranteed to turn into another dumb Bulls soap opera. The only way for this team to win games will be to drag them into an unwatchable shitfest. I still think they'll make the playoffs because the East is complete garbage, but there's also a chance that Rondo will be paid to stay home by January and the Bulls are getting blown out by lovely teams while Wade and Butler yell at each other through the intermediaries they have hired to talk to each other and Fred Hoiberg is secretly planning to go be an assistant on Grinnell College. Don't watch this team.
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Oct 1, 2016 16:59
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TEAMS MET Chicago Bulls Houston Rockets Detroit Pistons Indinapolis Pacers Miami Heat Cleveland Cavaliers Toronoto Raptors New Orleans Pelicans Detroit Pistons Minnesota Timberwolves Orlando Magic Golden State Warriors Denver Nuggets LA Lakers CURRENTLY UNMET TEAMS Atlanta Hawks Boston Celtics Brooklyn Nets Charlotte Hornets Dallas Mavericks LA Clippers Memphis Grizzlies Milwaukee Bucks New York Knicks OKC Thunder Philadelphia 76ers Phoenix Suns Portland Trail Blazers Sacramento Kings San Antonio Spurs Utah Jazz Washington Wizards I'll try to keep this updated every few days. Feel free to add to any meet the teams that already exists and share your excitement or existential horror at this upcoming NBA season. If you're new to the NBA, please ask questions in this thread. R.D. Mangles fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Oct 5, 2016 |
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Oct 1, 2016 17:00
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Noah 
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Oct 1, 2016 17:47
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Rockets Front Office General Manager - Daryl Morey  Daryl Morey is coming off the worst mistake of his career in Dwight Howard and better make up for it with some classic Morey draft magic this year. He also hired Mike D'Antoni to coach the team, but many think this was the meddling influence of Owner - Leslie Alexander Took a break from buying real estate and wine to become an active NBA owner, and is seen as the driving force behind a number of pro-offense moves the Rockets made this offseason. Team Coach - Mike D'Antoni  Legendary coach of the Seven Seconds or Less Suns, he's now shaved his mustache. Point Guard - Patrick Beverley  The 3&D point guard who refuses to give up his starting position. Came over from Russia and has been terrorizing the league ever since. Points Guard - James Harden  Widely regarded as a well-rounded and fun to watch player, James Harden returns to deliver more of the same thrilling, edge-of-your-seat basketball, but this time they're calling him the point guard. With D'Antoni in charge, he could very well have a career year on offense. Small Forward - Trevor Ariza  Foolishly signed a contract for 8 million dollars a year, and now condemned for all eternity to defend positions 1-4 and spot up for 3s. Was the subject of trade rumors this offseason. Power Forward - Ryan Anderson  The second scoring option the Rockets have desperately needed since the departure of Chandler Parsons. Recovering from a rough few years with the Pelicans, he should make a great P&R buddy for Harden. Center - Clint N'Dumba-Capela  A young center who, with the departure of Dwight Howard, will likely get 30+ mpg if he can stay out of foul trouble. This year is a great opportunity for him to establish himself as a starting quality center. He is currently limited by his free throw shooting and propensity to foul. Bench Eric Gordon, SG - Once considered a future all-star, injuries have really hurt his career. He's still a very good three point shooter, but hasn't played more than 64 games since his rookie year. If he remains healthy, he will be the 6th man. Nene, PF - Solid PF who somehow ended up on a 2mil contract with the Rockets Corey Brewer, SF - Is a master of all facets of the game of basketball, except for offense and defense. Sam Dekker, SF - SF prospect who was doing well in the D-League before injuring his back last year. They're planning on experimenting with him at PF and probably hoping his shooting will improve like Chandler Parsons did. KJ McDaniels, SF - CEO of chasedown blocks, a hyper-athletic wing who hasn't been able to get playing time so far Tyler Ennis, PG - PG prospect who isn't very good. Donatas Motiejunas, PF - One of the few players left in the NBA with the mythical post scoring ability, Donatas Motiejunas is going to take the qualifying offer this year after being in a cancelled trade and failing to find anyone to give him an offer in free agency. Chinanu Onuaku, PF/C - Athletic big man prospect, and the only NBA player man enough to take underhanded free throws. Montrezl Harrell, PF - Morey's attempt to draft Kenneth Faried. Solid rebounder who looked good in limited minutes his rookie year, but really hurts spacing. Bobby Brown, PG - Thought writing his name on the Great Wall of China and taking a picture was a cool and good idea. PG who made it onto the roster because of desperation. Kyle Wiltjer, PF - Can't spell Wiltjer without Wilt. Sure to be the greatest stretch forward the world has ever seen. A humble and talented man. Overseas Savior Zhou "Big Devil King" Qi, C - Highly athletic stick man prospect, he's spending at least one more season in China. By the middle of the season I will likely be reduced to watching highlight videos of him playing for the Xinjiang Flying Tigers in anticipation of next year. Is also an ageless Taoist immortal, which is good because he's probably about 5 years older than he claims to be. Overview Despite being a sarcastic rear end about some players, I'm really excited to watch this team for the first time since it became apparent Dwight just wanted to iso all the time. I think Vegas's win total of 41.5 is fair but this team could swing wildly in either direction depending on health and other factors. This team's heavily biased towards offense, and yet lacks a player after Harden who can really run the pick and roll. Defensively this team has all the makings of a total disaster, but they actually don't have to do much to improve over last season, when they were #21 even with Dwight Howard. chunkles fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Oct 25, 2016 |
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Oct 1, 2016 18:18
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Dejan will probably have a better and more detailed preview than me but I'm not ready to go to bed yet and I'm trying not to think about my dumb football team's loss so here come the DETROIT PISTONS. Who's gone from last year? PF Anthony Tolliver - signed with the Kings PG Steve Blake - not re-signed; should probably retire PG Brandon Jennings and PF Ersan Ilyasova - traded to Orlando for Tobias Harris, now with the Knicks and Thunder, respectively C Joel Anthony - not re-signed SG Jodie Meeks - signed with the Magic. I forgot he was even on the roster because he was literally always injured. PG Spencer Dinwiddie - traded to Bulls for Cameron Bairstow, who was then cut Projected starters  PG Reggie Jackson Blossomed in his first full year as an NBA starter, leading the team in scoring and generally considered the leader of the squad. His shoot first tendencies can be his downfall if shots aren't falling, and his defense needs big improvement despite his length and athleticism. Probably ranks somewhere around the middle of NBA point guards.  SG Kentavious Caldwell-Pope Our first round pick from 2013 has become one of the NBA's top perimeter defenders. Unfortunately for our lovely defense, he cannot play five positions at once. His shot is also very streaky. The franchise is still figuring out whether or not to give him a contract extension. This could be his breakout year.  SF/PF Marcus Morris After years of being noticeably worse than his brother Markieff, Marcus Morris may have surpassed his identical twin after being traded to Detroit and becoming a full-time starter. Marcus is the most "Pistony" Piston, with an attitude that recalls the Bad Boys and Goin' to Work eras. He does a lot of things well and brings positional versatility. He may also come off the bench or at least roll with the second unit to provide some scoring.  PF/SF Tobias Harris Brought to Detroit at the trade deadline last year, Harris had a bit of an up-and-down adjustment to the new system. But it was clear early on that he can provide some much needed scoring and the ability to play both forward positions in a league where positions are more and more amorphous. I'm curious how Stan Van Gundy will use him this year.  C Andre Drummond The fate of the franchise rests on his hairy shoulders. After the departure of Greg Monroe opened the floor up a little bit, Andre Drummond emerged as the NBA's most bashful all-star last year. Arguably the best rebounder in the NBA, The Big Penguin is capable of putting up 20 and 20 any given night--as long as the opponent is sporting enough not to resort to fouling. He is one of the worst free throw shooters the league has ever seen, and the mental anguish of that fundamental task is visible on his face every time he steps to the stripe (which is a lot). Will he get his percentage up high enough to be able to play fourth quarters this season? That's the most important question that this team faces. Bench  PG Ish Smith Detroit is the latest stop on Ish Smith's quest to play for every team in the NBA, following his season as the best point guard of the Process-era 76ers. Can't really shoot but is a solid passer and ballhandler. Infinitely better than Steve Blake.  SF/SG Stanley Johnson Last year's lottery pick gained brief notoriety for saying that he was in LeBron's head during the playoffs last year (*Ron Howard voice* He wasn't.). Stanley is a jack of all trades with an emphasis on master of none. He can play frenetic defense but often fucks up the transition bucket. He likes to shoot corner threes but he is inconsistent in making them. Drives the lane well but frequently can't finish. We'll see if he makes the sophomore leap. Will be wearing #7 to honor the retirement of Ben Wallace's #3.  PF Jon Leuer The archetypal Wisconsin basketball product: big, white, from the upper midwest, can drain threes. Coming off an increased role in Phoenix last year, Leuer was a nice free agent pickup in the offseason. If he is even a fraction as good in real life as I am with him in 2k16 with updated rosters, his shooting could open up the floor beautifully in units with Andre Drummond.  C Aron Baynes Generic backup center, except for being Australian. Fans irrationally hated him last year because they couldn't understand why there would be a precipitous drop in quality from your all-star center to his backup. His signature move is a hookshot that he fires as soon as you feed him in the post. Had a really dumb haircut during the Olympics that hopefully won't last.  SG/SF Reggie Bullock Shoots threes pretty well! That's about it. Pretty marginal NBA player.  PF Henry Ellenson Doofy white guy we drafted in the first round from Marquette. He's supposed to be a floor spacer but his three point percentage was terrible. Allegedly he was a steal at #18, but that remains to be seen.  BOBAN Fighting for a roster spot SG Michael Gbinije - Second round pick from Syracuse. Will probably spend a lot of time in Grand Rapids. SG Darrun Hilliard - Last year's second round pick. Did okay in a pinch last year. PG Lorenzo Brown - Signed during the season last year due to injury troubles and did okay. Will fight for the third PG spot with Ray McCallum. PG Ray McCallum Jr. - A hometown hero whose NBA career has been a disappointment so far. Can he rectify that back in Detroit? G Trey Freeman - camp body F Nikola Jovanovic - camp body Coach  Stan Van Gundy Finally, after years of quick firings and awful coaching, we have a proven winner who's here for the long (by NBA standards) haul. The jury is still out on his role as President, but it's hard to argue with the results--the Pistons finally got back to the playoffs in just his second year, and they seem to buy into his philosophy. Coach Stan is the man.
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Oct 2, 2016 06:16
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May I have your attention please? I said: May I have your attention please? Will the current Pacer players please stand up. We're gonna have a playoff loss here. Ya'll act like you never seen Paul George before Jaws all on the floor, he just runs past, shoots and scores Stopped taking to the hoop when his leg was busted on the floor, ah It's the return to the "Oh wait, no way, your kidding, yet another early playoff loss for the city?" And the Knicks Rivalry sa--- Nothing you idiot, the Knicks Rivalry's Dead it's locked in the 90s Larry Bird hired Nate McMillan, Mc-a, Mc-a, McMillian he's not sick of him Look at him killing the pace of play like you know what drafting the you know who "Yeah but Larry said younger and faster though!" These are your Pacers the .500 win makers All the other teams are glad when they play us Why cant the Pacers please win 1 Championship 1 Championship
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Oct 3, 2016 00:01
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Miami Heat Who has gone Dwyane Wade (SG) - Got sick of Riley not paying him the max and finally made good on his threat to leave after playing that card every off season for the last 3 years. Surprisingly played over 70 games last year and actually put up solid numbers. Barely plays defense anymore and can't shoot 3's at all. Had a hot streak of 3's made against the Hornets in the playoffs and decided he is actually a bad three point shooter because he doesn't shoot them enough. Hoidberg has given him the green light in Chicago so that should be interesting. Chris Bosh (PF) - Bosh is cool and good but sounds like he is forever broken, RIP. Suspect he is destined for a pretty good media career. Still some poo poo to work out with his contact and salary Joe Johnson (SG/SF) - Signed for the minimum after he was waived by the Nets last year, he was OK but never going to hang around with all that cash floating about. Loul Deng (SF/PF) - Once Bosh went down he actually had a really good second half of the year and caught fire in the playoffs. Too much free agent money to keep him. Not sure how he will go on a potentially terrible Lakers team, good locker room guy and probably worth the money to have him around those young kids. Amar'e Stoudamire (PF/C) - Never did much for the Heat but I read 7 seconds or less and he seems an awesome, if stupid guy. Also there is a video of him showing his house and he drives this hilariously large golf cart around the place, check it out. Some other dudes like Gerald Green and James Ennis are gone from the bench too. Who is back Hassan Whiteside - got the big deal he had been working towards the last couple of years. Unbelievable shot blocker, good at finishing lobs on pnr and put back points. Has apparently been working on the rest of his offensive game, will be interesting to see how his attitude goes this year now that he has a heap of cash and is on a pretty bad team. Tyler Johnson - after we lost Wade to Chicago we had to kind of spend our money on someone, so we matched the Nets offer sheet to Johnson. Due to a quirk in the CBA it is a poison pill contract for Miami though, so he has two years at five million and then two more at 20 million. He has shown flashes but hopefully he really breaks out, that contract is rough to move. Goran Dragic - Started really slowly last year, partly out of shape, partly personal stuff going on in his life, partly a poor fit next to Wade. Was solid in the second half of the year and is destined for a real bounce back year Josh Richardson - A real find in the 2nd round of the draft, ended up playing huge minutes for us off the bench and went through a stretch where it felt like he couldn't miss from range. Really looking forward to seeing this guy develop this year Justice Winslow - Seems like a really great defender already and a decent rebounder. Really no offense at all at this point apart from some hustle points, his jumper looked pretty broken last year. Still really young and should develop Dion Waiters - Men lie women lie BUCKETS DNT The Bench - Miami's bench is made up entirely of guys with a 55 player rating on NBA 2k17. Wayne Ellington, James Johnson, Derrick Williams, Luke Babbitt, Willie Reed, Josh McRoberts - I am pretty sure these are all the same person with just a palette swap. Most of these guys are cap filler and on one year deals. The Outlook This team is going to be pretty bad I think, the first 5 or 6 guys are OK, but after that is pretty horrible. We also have a Bosh sized hole at PF, they may try Winslow there but that is such a downgrade on offense that my eyes are prematurely burning from the bricks about to be thrown up. This is the last year in the next 3 that we keep our first rounder so I suspect it is going to be a bit of a tankathon, I could see this team winning 25-30 games. I literally have no idea who the starting 5 is apart from Dragic and Whiteside. Tyler Johnson, Richardson and Winslow all came off the bench last year
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Oct 3, 2016 01:26
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EMC posted:Miami Heat Huge aspect that will get forgotten when Riley announces his retirement in the next year or so. The Heat are going to be hindered for almost a decade because of that.
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Oct 3, 2016 03:03
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Lockback posted:Huge aspect that will get forgotten when Riley announces his retirement in the next year or so. The Heat are going to be hindered for almost a decade because of that. I actually rechecked it and we give up our 2018 first rounder (protected 1-7 and then unprotected in 2019) & 2021 first rounder to Phoenix and keep our 2019 and 2020 first rounders - which is probably better overall. We also give up a heap of second rounders in that time too. Our best bet is that we are pretty poo poo this year, get a nice pick and sign a decent free agent so that the 2018 pick isn't especially great This is assuming the RealGM list is correct
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Oct 3, 2016 03:15
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Your 2015-2016 World Champion CLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVELAND..... CAVALIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIERS The Owner Dan Gilbert, loan shark, casino owner, Comic Sans aficionado. Sometimes when a team wins a ring the fans give a lot of credit to the owner. For obvious reasons, I have not seen that with ol' Danny G. Has a unique talent for mysteriously getting the #1 pick in the lottery. The GM Chris Griffin, who just does whatever LeBron says The Coach  Tyronn Lue, who took over for David Blatt in January. Lue was previously the highest paid assistant in the league despite this image of Allen Iverson making GBS threads on him. This summer he got a giant contract extension to the tune of $35 million. Not bad for half a season of work in which he just had to make sure the team stayed healthy. The Starters Point Guard: Kyrie Irving  https://twitter.com/JohnJustLC/status/781576823545081856 https://vine.co/v/55uzlwIXjtZ Kyrie was taken first overall in the 2011 draft out of Duke. He's a really good shooter and an even better finisher at the rim, where you will see one to two insane layups a game. Has a reputation as a bit of a garbage can on defense. Had somewhat of a better summer than the reigning MVP, between the 3 seen above, winning the gold medal at the Olympics, and throwing a party on a boat. Possibly related to Uncle Drew of Pepsi MAX marketing fame. Shooting Guard: JR Smith  This is actually up in the air, as he isn't signed yet. Additionally, even if he re-signs with the Cavs, he will likely quit the team to run the country after he is written in enough times to win 270 electoral votes on November 8. Possibly SAS's overall favorite player. Takes some Curry-esque shots and makes some of them. Made a lot of fans cry during the post-Game 7 press conference (which was on Father's Day) when he thanked his dad repeatedly, then gave him a hug. Owns approximately zero shirts, which caused Obama to ask him to put one on. Small Forward: LeBron James  https://twitter.com/__martah/status/773623436732235776 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xd2GCwkTd38 Drafted first overall in 2003 out of St. Vincent-St. Mary High School in Akron, LeBron has spent his entire career with the Cavs. After falling in the 2010 postseason, it looked like LeBron might actually leave the Cavs, but the NBA shut down for four years instead. While it's unfortunate the Cavs lost four years of one of the best of all time's prime, Cavs fans found themselves watching a veritable Big 3 when the NBA reopened its doors in 2014. LeBron led both teams in the 2016 Finals in every category, including points, rebounds, assists, steals, blocks, blocks of Steph Curry, blocks of Andre Iguodala, defending champions shook, meanmugs, cool t-shirts, and wins after being down 3-1. Was shut down completely by Finals MVP Andre Iguodala in 2015 when he only averaged 35 points, 13 boards, and 8 assists with Irving and Love out. Is generally in charge of all personnel moves, including coaching, even though he says that's not the case. Probably has a sweetheart deal to take over as part-owner once he retires. Signed a 3 year, $100 million extension in the offseason to finally become the highest paid player in the league for the first time. To my knowledge, has never been accused of sexual assault or having a gambling addiction. Recently endorsed Hillary Clinton in the election, singlehandedly swinging Ohio polls from 45-42 Trump to 99-1 Clinton. Is particularly despised by PantsFreeZone for some reason. Said "motherfucker" on live TV a bunch of times during the parade. Power Forward: Kevin Love  https://twitter.com/Bottlegate/status/668973709647077378 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbMS1rcaNR0 The Joe Flacco of the NBA, Kevin Love is either elite or not elite depending on some quantum mechanics equation. Was a total stat sheet stuffing machine in Minnesota where he didn't have to share the ball with anybody. Since coming to Cleveland, he has averaged a double-double both seasons, but for whatever reason is considered an afterthought on this team. Has short arms. Uncle was a Beach Boy. Is in a lot of Banana Republic ads. Still a good outlet passer. Can't play defense as shown by the above video where the unanimous MVP totally shreds him to win the Finals. Hopefully this is the year Coach LueBron uses him most efficiently. Center: Tristan Thompson  This handsome Canadian has caught the Kardashian bug and will thus probably be useless this year. RIP. Gets an insane number of offensive rebounds. Plays decent defense for being an undersized 5. No real offensive games minus lobs and putbacks, but that shouldn't matter too much on a team with this much firepower. Switched from shooting free throws lefthanded to righthanded a few seasons ago, and this is the only thing announcers will ever say about him. The Bench Iman Shumpert: defensive specialist who has been the star of many trade rumors since it doesn't look like Love is getting traded anytime soon. Appeared in a Kanye video this summer but also got a DUI. I always think he went to Syracuse for some reason but he went to Georgia Tech. Google suggests I am getting him confused with Preston Shumpert. Hm. Channing Frye: another big who shoots 3s, he was apparently an integral part of locker room chemistry at the end of the year. Richard Jefferson: old guy who helped a lot in the Finals, then retired, then decided he'd play one more. Found a Tommy Bahama ad of with a guy who looks like Kevin Love and named it Lil Kev, who now has his own instagram. Mike Dunleavy: old guy who shoots 3s who I watched airball a free throw once when he was in college. Chris "Birdman" Andersen: I'm guessing will be playing the Anderson Varejao role this season Jordan McRae: a possible rotation player this year. Whether this is to improvement or because of a weak bench is to be determined. James Jones: another 3 point specialist, he has played in every NBA Finals in history. Generally regarded as each Cav's favorite teammate. Dahntay Jones: this team has too many Duke players. He hit Biyombo in the nuts in the ECF and got suspended, which makes whatever complaints Draymond Green has stupid Kay Felder: a short rookie with great hops who I guess will serve as the 3rd PG Probably some other dudes Key Losses Matthew Dellavedova (signed with Milwaukee, went to a Brewers game, nobody recognized him) Mo Williams (retired) Other Losses Sasha Kaun (retired) Timofey Mozgov (signed with the Lakers for $64 million somehow) Prediction: another trip to the Finals, assuming everyone stays healthy. And even if they don't, as long as LeBron doesn't get hurt. Gonna be tough to get past the Dubs this year though as they made the biggest splash in the offseason upon signing Zaza Pachulia Sharparoni fucked around with this message at 14:56 on Oct 3, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 14:45
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Ladies and gentlemen, the 2016-17 TORONTO RAPTORS. Roster Changes None of the major players have changed. The notable moves from last year are..... Bismack Biyombo is gone to Orlando. He was a great backup center and a defensive anchor. Despite having some of the worst hands in the NBA, he will be missed. Luis Scola is gone. He will not be missed. Has apparently signed with the Nets for god knows what reason? Jared Sullinger was signed. More on him later. The Starters There's only one man we can start with. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvoa63tCpcU Demar Derozan (SG): After having him at a bargain price of $10 million or so a year for the last three years, Derozan resigned with the Raptors for one of those new megamax contracts that are terrifying executives around the league. 5 years, $139 million dollars. About $28 million a year. Previous to this year, that was Kobe money. Fittingly, Derozan plays like a b-rate Kobe. He loves isoing guys one on one, long twos, and is one of the worst three point shooting guards in the league. Fun statistic: Derozan led the league in 2 point shots attempted last year with 1238 shots. This beat the next closest player (Brook Lopez) by around a hundred attempts. His reluctance to pass in pick and rolls is so bad that Dokmo made a highlight reel of it. His game looks a lot more like 90's basketball than 2010's basketball. Derozan is a fossil in the body of a 27 year old. If you could create a popular player to annoy basketball nerds, Derozan would be that player. Despite all that, Derozan is a very effective basketball player and one of the premier SG's of the league. He's a deserved two time all star. He led the Raptors in scoring last year with 23.5 points a game, good for 8th highest in the league. He is incredibly good at driving to the basket. He embraces contact and converts his drives into vicious dunks, layups, or foul shots. He also kicks out the drives into assists -- despite me complaining about his passing, he averaged 4 assists per game last year which is actually pretty drat high for a shoot first SG. Derozan's foul shooting is particularly notable: he attempted the third most foul shots in the league last season behind Demarcus Cousins (barely) and James Harden (by a lot). He gets them off both his drives and by being an all around fucker, baiting people into the air on defense and then shooting into them, which (for better or worse) is a guaranteed two shot foul by today's NBA rules. Though not popular for obvious reasons, foul shots are craved by stats nerds because they're a very efficient and consistent source of points. Unfortunately for Derozan, fouls are called a lot more stingily in playoffs and despite the Raptors reaching the Eastern Conference Finals, he had a notoriously lovely playoffs. Derozan played on the USA Olympic team that won a gold medal this summer in Brazil. He was mostly glued to the bench and played 11 minutes a game. However, Derozan's game is particularly well suited to embarrassing outmatched international players. He shot an absurd 60% over the course of the Olympics, the highest of all the guards by far (unless you count Durant as a guard, he was also up there). Hopefully he can the mojo from his big money contract and Olympic success and translate it into a successful season. Derozan is known as a gym rat. Every offseason, he tries to find something specific to work on (and then you constantly hear media/commentators talk about it all through October and November). In 2014, it was his ball handling. In 2015, it was old man moves. What's it this year? I have no idea, I haven't heard anyone talk about it yet. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WoX3CpHJNsc Kyle Lowry (PG): The other team leader. Derozan/Lowry is one of the most potent backcourts in the NBA and form the bulk of the Raptors offense, for better or worse. Last year's Kyle Lowry was a revelation. After years of having a reputation as one of the chunkier point guards in the league, Lowry abandoned the late night Wendy's runs and lost significant weight over the 2015 offseason. His game immediately stepped up and he began playing at noticeably faster speed. The fans christened him 'Skinny Lowry'. Almost all his stats had dramatic improvement from the 2014/15 season to 2015/16. His points per game went from 17.8 to 21.2. Steals went from 1.5 a game to 2.1 a game, good for 5th in the league (and honestly the gap between 2-5 on that list is so small it's relatively meaningless). His FG% increased slightly -- most notably, his 3P% went from 34% on 5.6 attempts a game to 39% on 7.1 attempts per game. He hit the 5th most threes in the league last year. That kind of increase in both volume and efficiency is the stuff that makes numbers guys drool. Lowry is commonly compared to a pit bull. His play style is aggressive on both offense and defense. He likes pull up threes, gambling for steals, and taking charges. He's not a floor general in the way that pass first point guards are, but he's the best passer on the team by far and effectively drives and dishes the ball around depending on where he sucks in the defense to. From his fat man days, Lowry learned to use his big rear end both as a weapon in the post and as a defensive stopping tool. Lowry is the only other point guard in the league with rear end skills that rival Chris Paul. Along with Derozan, Lowry also had a notoriously lovely playoffs. It's difficult to separate their playoff woes because they had much of the same issues -- both shot like complete garbage and forced dumb shots while not getting their teammates particularly involved. They induced some of the ugliest basketball ever seen in the postseason, and managed to make what was superficially Toronto's best ever playoff run an exercise in misery. Despite making the ECF and even taking two games off the heavily favoured Cavs, there was strikingly little play that resembled good basketball. In the words of SAS's most beat into the ground catchphrase, Derozan, Lowry (and most of the rest of the Raptors) were 'shook'. The obvious question on Toronto fan's minds is "Can Lowry and Derozan carry their regular season success into the post-season?" Unfortunately, for the last three years the answer has been a resounding 'no'. I cut them some slack because prior to 2013/14 the team hadn't been in the playoffs in a decade, but this is starting to look like a trend. But hey, at least our starting PG isn't a rapist. This is Lowry's last guaranteed year at 12 million a year. Next year he has a player option for 12 million that he will almost certainly turn down in favour of getting a megabucks contract. Whether Toronto can afford to keep him will likely depend on the teams willingness to pay luxury tax. This year may be the last chance for the Lowry/Derozan core. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXnj6cc4Mf0 Jonas Valanciunas (C) : Every year for the last four years, Toronto coaches say they expect JV to become a bigger part of the offense, and every year it doesn't happen. They say this year it'll happen. We'll see. His four year extension just kicked in and he's getting real money now (15 million a year) so maybe the team will feel obligated to up his role, but I'll believe it when I see it. Jonas is solid, with occasional flashes of potential for stardom. Last year he was the third-highest scorer on the team, but it's a pretty drat sharp drop from Lowry's 21 a game to Jonas's 13. Compared to Lowry/Derozan, he's a bastion of efficiency. He shoots well for a big man and is comfortable hitting mid-range shots (and free throws!). His go-to moves include incredibly slow pump fakes, and spinning around you in the post and doing an awkward running hook shot. Both are ugly, yet somehow effective (much like the Raptors in general). Though his numbers don't really pop out at you, he was the lone playoff bright spot in the first four games of the Indiana series before getting injured, averaging 15 points and 13.5 rebounds (while having almost no plays drawn for him). His defense was once laughable, but is now pretty serviceable. Still gets confused on switches though. Venting about Jonas to play a bigger role in the team is a common pastime for Toronto fans, especially when watching Lowry and Derozan brick shots. "Why doesn't Jonas get more minutes? Why didn't Jonas get a touch on that last play? Why doesn't he get more postups and plays run for him?" Ask Coach Casey. Last year, Jonas averaged 26 minutes a game, the 17th most of center eligible players. Though center's often get low minutes, especially defensive specialists, that's a bit low for a player that fans would like to see as part of the offense. Last year, he was often benched down the stretch in the favour of Biyombo, who was admittedly a much stronger rim protector. In previous years, Casey would often bench him in favour of finishing the game small with a forward as the big man and an extra guard on the court. Casey also has the tendency to remove him from the game the second the opposing team sits their center. Will this finally be the year that he gets an increased role? Biyombo's gone so he no longer is competing for (pure) center minutes with anyone but rookies, but Casey's a stubborn old fucker so I'm expecting to see a lot of closing lineups involving either Patrick Patterson or Jared Sullinger as the big man. Always bet against change when it comes to the Raptors.  Demarre Carroll Carroll was the Raptor's big 2015 offseason acquisition, but he spent most of the season in a suit injured as his knee problems kept him limited to playing only 22 games, in which he mostly looked injured and bad. His four year, 15 million a year deal was seen by many as an overpay, but with the cap increase I'm cool with it (as long as he can play these next three years). I have a soft spot for Carroll, likely biased by him being one of my favourite fantasy basketball waiver pickups in his two Atlanta seasons. Carroll was a benchwarmer for the majority of his NBA career, never averaging more than 17 minutes a game until he somehow ended up becoming the starting SF of the Atlanta Hawks where he emerged as one of the leagues premier 3 and D players. The Raptors could really use his 3 point shooting -- Derozan's bad 3-point shooting means that he works best with SF's and PF's that can shoot from deep. Since I'm calling last year a wash for him, it remains to be seen if he can replicate his success in Atlanta on the vastly different system of the Raptors. Carroll emerged as a great role player in Atlanta in the context of Mike Budenholzer's high movement, pass heavy offense. Most of his offense came off of assists. Meanwhile, the Raptors run iso-heavy sets and tend to hang out at the bottom of the league in most passing metrics. Will he still be able to find his shot in Toronto? I hope so. There were flashes last year. He's got a nice mid-range floater off the dribble. Maybe if he yells at the team enough he can encourage a little more ball movement. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3GK87r4ivyg  Patrick Patterson/Jared Sullinger (PF) Patrick Patterson was expected to be the starting PF last year, but managed to suck so much as the starter in pre-season that the team ended up starting old man and defensive sieve Luis Scola over him for all the regular season (and some of the playoffs). A lot of this was due to his cold starts -- even though Patterson averaged more minutes per game than Scola and was the de facto closer, Scola tended to hit the ground running in the first quarter while Patterson didn't do much of anything. Patterson is a great backup whose production has never really extended well to starter minutes unfortunately. He's a stretch four who plays good defense and does smart things. His shot disappeared from him for a lot of last year, so hopefully he returns closer to his career averages this year. Jared Sullinger is an ex-Celtic who just joined the Raptors. He was a super high rated high school prospect turned pretty high rated college prospect until NBA medicals flagged him as having back issues. He's mostly known for being fat, injured, and taking dumb 3-pointers. But with Derozan's limited three point shooting, it's better to have a PF that takes dumb 3 pointers than a PF that doesn't shoot them at all. He's rumoured to have lost weight this summer, but I think they say that about him every summer. Having a team leader in Lowry who's also dealt with keeping diet and conditioning in check will probably be good for him. He was signed this year to the Raptors on a 1 year, 6 million deal which is quite frankly a bargain for a player of his age in the currently basketball economy. That probably says a lot about how little other teams wanted to deal with him. I was expecting Patterson to be the starter, but Sullinger started the Raptors first pre-season game (along with the rest of the expected starters) and looked pretty solid. He gobbled up rebounds and bricked threes, so he was in his element. I wouldn't be surprised if him and Patterson ended up in a time share, but maybe Casey's trying to figure out which one to roll with as pre-season goes on. e: Oct 24 Update. Sullinger's already getting surgery, lol. Pascal Siakam may be the starter, and I'm eagerly anticipating seeing Casey play him down the stretch over JV. Notable Bench Players Cory Joseph(PG/SG): Last year's de facto sixth man of the team. Often closed games when JV was on the bench. *CHAMPIONSHIP EXPERIENCE* from playing with the Spurs in 2013-14. Not a great shooter, but good at the rim, good court vision and great defensive PG. The only actual Canadian on the team. Norman Powell (SG/SF): One of the best second round surprises from last year. Powell was taken with the 46th pick of the 2015 draft. He eventually worked his way into the starting lineup of the Raptors in the hole from Carroll's injury as the team gave up on Terrence Ross. Good shooter, plays defense in the system well for a rookie. Hope he progresses nicely this year. Terrence Ross: Last year Terrence Ross was signed to a 3 year, 33 million dollar extension in one of Masai's more lamentable decisions. He promptly responded by playing some of the worst basketball of his career. His floor spacing is essential for the Raptors, but he feels like a player that you have to protect from his own idiocy. Can be a good three point shooter and vicious dunker, and even plays pesky defense sometimes, but often settles for dumb long twos and risky gambles. Seriously low basketball IQ, I think the dude might be mentally handicapped. Inexplicably scored 50 points against the Clippers two years ago. Had sex with Amber Rose. Lucas Nogueira One half of the Brazilians on the team. Might be JV's backup this year? Long as hell, good in pick and rolls. Jakob Poltl The other guy that might be JV's backup this year. Rookie center taken with the 9th pick of this year's draft that the Raptors scammed from the Knicks in the Bargnani trade years ago. I hear he's good but I don't know poo poo most college players. Only Austrian in the NBA. Casey keeps rookies on a short leash so we'll see how much we see of him. If he's backing up JV instead of Nogueira, it likely means the team's done with Nogueira barring any injury calamities. Bruno Caboclo BRUNOOOOOOOO. Fan favourite, but currently only a human victory cigar. The other half of the Brazilians on the team. The most surprising draft pick of the 2014 draft, Bruno was selected by the Raptors with the 20th pick almost entirely on the basis of being tall with long arms. It almost certainly wasn't because of his basketball talent, because he was 18, playing in some Brazilian bush league and averaging 5 points a game. He was famously described on draft night as being both "the Brazilian Kevin Durant" and "two years away from being two years away". It's speculated that the Raptors D-league affiliate was opened up entirely for him to get some playing time and develop. So where are we in year three of the Bruno experiment? When he was drafted, he was a skinny long kid who couldn't play basketball. I thought that in a few years he'd grow into an NBA body. Well, he still looks like a skinny long kid with no athlete muscles. Maybe they're hiding, iunno. Basketball ain't looking too great either. He's been doing OK in the D-league, but 99% of NBA players should be dominating if they're in the D-league, and he's not. He's still just a skinny kid with a bad shot selection. As a starter for the Raptors 905, he averaged 14.7 points, 1.8 blocks, 1 steal, and 6.5 boards on 40% shooting with 33% 3 point shooting (at a ridiculous 7 attempts a game). You can see the diversity of what the Raptors are hoping he can eventually accomplish, but I'm just not convinced he's an NBA player. Even if he is, he'll be ready by his fourth or fifth year and his rookie contract will immediately be up. The Raptors have invested a huge amount into a guy who a) might not be an NBA player and b) even if he is, will have the chance to immediately walk to another team. I'm not hopeful. Everyone Else: The Raptors haven't finalized their roster yet so I'm not sure who of the pre-season dreg's will stick around. These guys will be on the team, but who knows if they'll get minutes. Delon Wright: Third string point guard, 2015 first round pick. Pascal Siakam: Cameroonian forward. Apparently the team likes him so maybe he'll play a bit. Fred VanVleet: He has a cool name, I guess? I think he's a guard. The Coach  Dwane Casey: Under Dwane Casey (who belongs with Dwyane Wade in the "idiots who mispelled Dwayne/Duane" club), the Raptors have experienced the most success since the Vince Carter years. A defensive specialist for the 2011 Mavericks that won the title, Casey took over the Raptors head coaching position for the 2011/12 season and has been with the team ever since. Following this year's ECF run, the Raptors gave him a 3-year, 18 million dollar extension. The Good: Casey has led the Raptors to successively better records over five years with the team. It really hasn't been that long since the Raptors were horrible fuckups at the bottom of the Eastern Conference. He reestablished the team as a contender (in the Eastern conference, at least) by restoring discipline and giving the team a strong defense-first identity. He appears to be well liked by (most of) the players, so he's got the locker room with him. Some people who are a lot smarter and know more about basketball than me think he's a good coach. The Bad: Casey is an old stubborn motherfucker who has imbued the Raptors with the spirit of the worst parts of 90's basketball. He's incredibly slow to make adjustments, whether that's changing the player rotation, changing defensive matchups, or telling Lowry and Derozan to stop taking loving dumb shots. He believes in iso-basketball, and his offensive sets are notoriously non-existent. Raptors fan's still have PTSD imagining Lou Williams slowly strolling up the court at the end of a quarter to do an iso pull up 3. But that wasn't just a Lou Will thing. Lowry does it. Derozan does it. It's been a while, but Rudy Gay did it too. Multiple times a game, you'll watch a key possession and go "OK, they'll start running the play any time now" and instead see four guys standing around while someone dribbles the ball around and jacks up a dumb shot. If it's one player doing that, that's on the player. When it's all sorts of different members of the team doing it over the course of 5 years, that's on the coach. Derozan once famously said that "Casey let's us do whatever we want on offense as long as we play good defense." Casey puts in lip service about ball movement, but what I've seen on the court over the years doesn't reflect that at all. I'd love to see it change, but after five years of a non-existent offensive system I don't expect one to magically appear. The Raptors consistently rank near the bottom of any metric related to passing and ball movement, usually surrounded by a bunch of non-playoff teams. Last year, they had the fourth-lowest number of catch and shoot attempts of any team. They averaged the second least number of assists. Third least adjusted pass to assist ratio. 5th last in hockey assists. 2nd last in potential assists (passes to shot attempts). Highest average dribbles per touch. I could go on, but you get the point. Not every team can or should be the Spurs/Hawks, but there's a certain level of ball movement necessary for a team to succeed at elite levels. The Raptors have extremely poor ball movement, and I put that on Casey. Lowry and Derozan are good enough to bail us out often enough during the regular season, but I think that in a lot of ways Casey enables their worst habits. He encourages them to shoot their way through slumps and though there's a certain merit in that, too often I see them jacking up frustrated shots when they're shooting poorly instead of getting the teammates involved. These weaknesses become particularly exposed in the playoffs where other teams figure out ways to contain Lowry and Derozan over a series and Casey refuses to switch to a plan B. To this day, Casey is the only person to ever be out-coached by Randy Wittman. I don't think Casey is a bad coach -- I think he's kinda Scott Brooks tier. Good defense, good motivator, probably good at getting young teams together. But when you're trying to clear the conference finals, that doesn't quite cut it and I think his limitations have become painfully obvious as the Raptor's try and cross the line from "pretty good team" to "contender". You'll hear lots of people saying that Casey deserves his extension because he took the Raptors to the ECF, and I'm pretty sure most of those people are idiots. The team got there in name (which hey, was nice), but at no point did they appear in the playoffs to be a good basketball team. In fact, they appeared to be explicitly awful, stumbling their way through rounds despite their best efforts to gently caress it up. We've had two first round exits in the last three years, one of which was one of the worst playoff stompings ever seen outside of a 1-8 seed matchup. The Raptors are a good team, but I don't think they'll ever be a great team with Casey coaching them. Season Outlook Pretty much the same as the last two years. Cleveland >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> everyone else in the east. Every pretty good team in the East that's not Cleveland has exactly one realistic goal, and that's be the best team next to Cleveland and close the gap as much as possible. This year, the three teams most likely to try and jam their way into that position are probably Toronto, Atlanta, and Boston, so they'll be juking it out. Toronto fans have grown accustomed to a good record now. The novelty is over. We're looking for playoff success, and we're looking for a team that looks like it belongs in the playoffs instead of one that stumbles its way through them. CRISPYBABY fucked around with this message at 04:28 on Oct 25, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 15:05
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 ]Coming off an injury-filled season, Pels fans can probably expect another one. Gone: Eric Gordon and Ryan Anderson left through free agency. That is a lot of three point shooting to lose. Meet the players. (* = new) Point Guard
Shooting Guard
Small Forward
Power Forward
Center
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Oct 3, 2016 16:23
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Thanks for saving me the effort, dokmo. It is worth noting that several of the players mentioned are already unavailable for the start of the season:
The team is supposedly more dedicated to an uptempo offense. They certainly improved passing and defense in the offseason, but still don't have anyone good at running the break so a higher tempo will really just mean more passing and off-ball movement in the halfcourt offense. Players on the bubble to make the roster after pre-season (since you are limited to 15 players on the roster once the regular season starts):
Cheick (pronounced "check", apparently) is an extremely raw rookie they traded up to get in the early second round in this year's draft. He is an athletic and rangy big who shows defensive promise, but is extremely raw when it comes to actually playing basketball. I hope he makes it and develops into a rotation player. The defense has been terrible for a long time. Two source of that are gone, but it still remains to be seen if the new and returning players can step it up. During media day, it sounds like the team is resorting to uglying the game up on defense as the only way for them to consistently win games. I am doubtful this will happen. Kibner fucked around with this message at 16:45 on Oct 3, 2016 |
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Oct 3, 2016 16:41
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As an addendum, if you want to follow the Pels from a local media standpoint, these are good Twitter follows:
Scott and Mason also mention Tulane a bit while Justin is only Pels. They all tend to get or link breaking stories before most and have some of the better analysis for the team compared to others covering them.
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Oct 3, 2016 17:01
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attackmole posted:e: I'm reserving this for an effort post on the Raptors so no one beats me to the punch (well I guess you still can if you really want). I'll have it up in an hour or so. I'm glad you're doing it. Because if I did it it would just be 1000 words on the pain and suffering that is watching Demar
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Oct 3, 2016 18:20
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I'm almost done it and I'm up to 2800 words. The things I do when I'm unemployed. I'm just onto the Coach Casey section, which could be a whole nother essay of pain.
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Oct 3, 2016 18:59
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Athanatos posted:May I have your attention please? This is an amazing post.
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Oct 3, 2016 19:55
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attackmole posted:I'm almost done it and I'm up to 2800 words. The things I do when I'm unemployed. I'm just onto the Coach Casey section, which could be a whole nother essay of pain. Your post is awesome and true. I can't imagine any Raptor fan disagreeing.
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Oct 3, 2016 20:59
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I love these two sentences:quote:From his fat man days, Lowry learned to use his big rear end both as a weapon in the post and as a defensive stopping tool. Lowry is the only other point guard in the league with rear end skills that rival Chris Paul.
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Oct 3, 2016 21:15
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Also, this statement is something that has felt like a problem with the Pels roster for the last several seasons:quote:His floor spacing is essential for the Raptors, but he feels like a player that you have to protect from his own idiocy.
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Oct 3, 2016 21:23
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Athanatos posted:May I have your attention please? a good post I really miss Lowry and his skinny fat man basketball abilities
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Oct 3, 2016 21:26
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here whoever is doing the clippers can just use this https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3673758&userid=109894#post436863516
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Oct 4, 2016 01:45
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 Respect to sm for already writing up the pistons, I'll give you a taste since I'm too FIRED UP from class to sleep. The shy and retiring giant: Andre Drummond Andre is a huge an incredibly athletic man with a Tony Allen esque touch on tip ins. He will get many rebounds. Hopefully with a competent backup 4 and 5, he'll play meaner on defense and become more like Deandre Jordan, a shy boy from the woods who was made into a defensive machine. The man who makes me hate basketball, curse the team, and set scarface esque elaborate assasination systexms in Stan's car: Reggie Jackson. A freakish bat armed combo guard who misses easy reads to pound the ball aimlessly before getting into the lane, throwing up a prayer, and hoping drummond gets the ball back or tips it in. gently caress you Reggie. You little yellow eyed bitch The dual saviors: Kentavious Caldwell Pope and Stanley Johnson. KCP is developing into one of the best defensive 2guards in the NBA. His three point shooting is inconsistent but was great when he was playing a free flowing ball movement style with Brandon Jennings. Stanley Johnson is a prototypical 2016 sf. He can defend 2-4, he can handle the ball, he can get to the lane, he rebounds, if only he'd cut his hair so he could make 3s and be a valuable player. He's the second mostx piston piston after the next man. Marcus Morris: Stan stole him from PHX for a second round pick, he gave the team fire and defensive intensity that had been lacking for ages. He's sort of a jack of all trades master of none tweener 3/4. He isn't afraid to take lovely bailout midrange shots, which depress his percentages. He's one of few players in the NBA that defends Lebron really well. Not scared Tobias Harris: Another steal of a deal, another combo forward, who can score at all three levels, sort of. Needs to be a more willing passer and needs to focus on defense. Pistons played much better after he was acquired. Bench: Ish Smith: A little squirt of a pg who gets to the lane at will, has horrible efficiency but had high usage on hosed teams. We might see some Ish/Boban magic. He is an 109000x improvement on poor old dying Steve Blake. Boban. A true giant with a soft touch. AS long as the other team isn't playing stretch bigs or pgs who shoot threes off the dribble, he's one o the best players in the NBA. He makes free throws, giving the pistons a slim chance to maybe win a playoff game. Jon Leueur: A stretch four who can dribble a little bit, who defends decently, and has improved consistently Reggie Bullock: A three point shooter who only makes wide open threes, pistons blogs are in love with him but once he's in the rotation he'll be scouted back to the end of the bench. Who else? A gaggle of lovely 2nd round rookies who don't look like anything at all, some bodies, Lorenzo Brown. God bless them all. Oh and Henry Ellenson who showxed some legitimate ball handlingplaymaking/ scoring touch in summer league, but will need to be a knockdown 3p shooter to be a decent NBA player, will never be able to guard anyone. I hate Reggie Jackson and I hope Dennis Smith gets caught manufacturing synthetic opioids, then gets off with probation, so he falls to the pistons in the draft. Post preseaason update: I cursed Reggie into knee issues that will make ISH SMITH the starter for a month. I'm sorry. ish can't shoot and that means stan will need to be creative with triple screens and Johnson/Harris handling the ball to create offense. Michael Gbinje has looked surprisingly competent as a lead guard, especially for a syracuse player who was projected as a forward until his last year in college. Ray Mccallum is battling the rugged vet Lorenzo Brown for the last PG spot, Ray is all heart and hustle and guys seem to like playing with him, Brown is prrobably better. Drummond has shown real improvements in his face up game and passing, which could terrorize defenses when Reggie comes back. (Stan fired Arnie Kander the pistons long time trainer, who was hired post grant hill injury and made them one of the most consistently healthy teams in the NBA and who single handledly fixed the t wolves injury problems in one year and was fired again. Rehire Arnie you fat gently caress stan) Stanley Johnon hasn't cut his hair so his jumper is still broken. Cut your loving hair Stanley. KCP has been hot and cold, but when he's hot he's like a non weed addicted Klay Thompson with better man defense. Dejan Bimble fucked around with this message at 14:51 on Oct 22, 2016 |
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Oct 4, 2016 05:35
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MEET YOUR MINNESOTA TIMBERWOLVES  The Boss:  Probably the biggest addition last year was the hiring of Tom Thibodeau as the Timberwolves Head Coach AND President of Basketball Operations. The Timberwolves have long used the President position as the decision maker of the club. While they have a GM as well, the President is the guy deciding direction and player targets. So basically a GM. Thibs brings much needed defensive acumen to the team and the guy basically eats and sleeps basketball. The Bulls also over-performed pretty consistently* with him at the helm and that meant they needed to fire him. I am pretty excited that my cell-phone dictionary already has "Thibs" added as a valid word. *regular season only Probable Starters Ricky Rubio (PG)  Ricky is too beautiful for this world. He is a pass-first/only PG who is probably one of the most fun players in the NBA to watch. His shooting is bad (though that's not as big of a problem as it's made out to be) and his finishing-at-the-rim is maybe worse (that is a bigger problem than it's made out to be). Advanced Stats have him somewhere between "Top-15 PG"(by PER) and "Top 5" (By RPM). The Wolves looked like a decent team with him in the lineup and a horrid one without him. His contract is pretty good with only 42 million owed over the next 3 years. Because he plays in MN and is pretty opposite of "En Vogue" PGs like Curry and Irving people focus too much on his shortcomings than what he brings. Thibs will trade him and then I will hate Thibs. Zach LaVine  (Note: LaVine is actually not a great in-game dunker) Zach LaVine is Not a Point Guard. I think that truth is finally realized. He is a pretty good Shooting Guard though. He is a pretty good catch and shoot guy, good handles for the 2, runs the break, and you can count on him to create a couple things from the perimeter every game. His defense is really bad though. This usually isn't a big deal for young guards, but it was like "one of the worst in the league at his position" bad. He is supposedly a gym rat and Thibs does wonders with those kinds of guys. Andrew "Maple Jordan" Wiggins  (Note: Superb in-game dunker) Wiggins is a great litmus test for people who try to understand advanced stats. If you rely purely on eye-test or counting stats you think he is a star, if you just look at BBR with no context you think he is a bust/somewhat average, if you put in context his age, experience, usage and progress you get excited but realize he is probably not a super-star. He is really young and he can already create good looks. His defense has been lagging, but he has shown that he has the pieces to be really good on that side of the floor, and most importantly he has consistently gotten better. He is the kind of guy who usually looks really good in a Thibs system. His shooting is bad so he needs to do something about his hair. Gorgui Dieng (Maybe, might be Jordan Hill here?)  Dieng is actually a center and usually defends centers and plays in the low post on offense but KAT is the future so they call him the center. Gorgui is a good defensive presence, good rebounder, has a little range on his pick-and-pop shot, and hustles like crazy. Thibs will love him, though he is a sneaky pick to be traded as I think he gets starting 5 money in RFA. KAMOTHERFUCKINGT Karl-Anthony Towns  The platonic ideal of 2017 NBA Center. Defends multiple positions? Check. Rebounds like a fiend? Check. Good Handles? Check. Range out to the 3? Check. Generally good guy and media darling? Check. Only 20? Check. This guy is the future of the franchise and he is why Thibs came on board. He never really hit the rookie wall and got better and better as the year went on. He plays both big positions easily and can play all over the place on offense. Just a beast, please watch Timberwolves games. The joy of a Ricky-to-KAT play will make you feel 9 years old again. RIP KEVIN GARNETT  He gone now. He was actually ok last year on the court, but could only play like 12 minutes and then sit out 4 games so its probably better he retired. OTHER DUDES Kris Dunn  Big Draft pick. Athletic PG with great size who can shoot a little bit. Seems like the kind of guy who needs the ball in his hands and there are LOTS of rumors that Ricky is being shopped to make room for him. So I hate him. But generally seen as a great value pick and he did do really well in summer league before he concussed his way out. There are also some injury concerns on his shoulder. He should have been traded for Jimmy Butler because that would have made the world make more sense. Shabazz Some rumors Thibs might stick Shabazz in the starting lineup but probably not. Really unique player, at 6-6 he is an elite offensive rebounder and garbage scorer and hits the corner 3 at 40%+ but pretty bad at everything else. Dismal defensively. But he gives you instant offense so he has some value. Bjelica You know Mirotic? Bjelica is sort of a poor man's Mirotic. Might not be an NBA-calibre dude, but can kind of sorta shoot. Tyus Jones Played ok the last month or so for the Wolves, but still pretty raw. He was the Summer League MVP so, uh, that sure is something. Looks like a career backup guy to me but maybe will be a sorta good one? Brandon Rush Has the makings of being a Thib superstar. Pretty versatile wing that can shoot and run, I expect he'll be plugged in quite a bit and get good minutes with the team. He might supplant Shabazz as the first wing off the bench. Nicola Pekovic Literally already ruled out for 2017. I expect him to medically retire. Rounding out the roster: Jordan Hill, Cole Aldrich, Adrien Payne Prediction: Anything from 30 wins to 50+ wins. I expect they will be somewhere in the 40-45 and flirt with a playoff spot. Last year their starting lineup compared favorably with starting lineups of other ~.500 teams but the bench was one of the worst in the league. This year the bench should be better (Thibs Bench Mob) and their young guns will have another year. They will be fun and like last year a really good League Pass team. Lockback fucked around with this message at 18:37 on Oct 4, 2016 |
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Oct 4, 2016 18:24
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Lockback you forgot Cole Aldrich who is probably going to be the backup center. Also Brandon Rush who will also probably see a fair shake of time on the second unit. Also also Greg Smith was waived on June 30th. But thanks for sparing me from trying to copy Athanatos's idea and making an awful parody to introduce the team. IcePhoenix fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Oct 4, 2016 |
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Oct 4, 2016 18:28
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IcePhoenix posted:Lockback you forgot Cole Aldrich who is probably going to be the backup center. Also Brandon Rush who will also probably see a fair shake of time on the second unit. Also also Greg Smith was waived on June 30th. Oh good call. I actually was thinking Cole Aldrich when I wrote Greg Smith, but Rush will probably see regular playing time.
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Oct 4, 2016 18:35
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Orlando Magic - Home of the One Nationally Broadcast Game Featuring an absurd amount of player turnover, I've seldom seem a team comprised of such an assortment of seemingly ill-fitting parts, or a team whose success relies on someone - anyone - to breakout. Will Fournier become an elite scorer? Can Ibaka lead a team? Will Aaron Gordon or Mario Hezonja stand out? First, let's meet the brain trust. FRONT OFFICE GM - Rob Hennigan (Right)  The youngest GM ever hired in NBA history (I think?), Rob Hennigan took over the reins 4 years ago, and has had his successes and failures. The fan base seemed to sour on him a bit when he traded Tobias Harris to the Pistons last year for Brandon Jennings and Ersan Ilyasova AND NO DRAFT PICKS, and a lot of the pickups this offseason inspire equal amounts of excitement and anxiety. Coach - Frank Vogel (Left) Miserable human/Lex Luthor cosplayer Scott Skiles surprisingly quit this offseason, right around the time Larry Bird decided noted good Coach Frank Vogel should get kicked to the curb. Thus, the Magic signed up Vogel, and in the span of just a few days, the Magic had a major upgrade at coach. Founder - Richard DeVos  90 year old pyramid scheme billionaire vampire abstinence-only preaching villain Richard DeVos is going to die soon. But first, he put himself in his own Hall of Fame! THE BALLERS Gone: Shabazz Napier (Trailblazers) Devyn Marble (Clippers) Dewayne Dedmon (Spurs) Jason Smith (Wizards) Victor "Vic 'Feathery' Feather" Oladipo (Thunder) Domantas Sabonis - draft pick (Thunder) Ersan Ilyasova (Thunder) Brandon Jennings (Knicks) Andrew Nicholson (Wizards) Big Free Agent Acquisitions Serge Ibaka  The Thunder's third banana came over to the Magic this offseason in trade for 2013's 2nd overall pick, Victor Oladipo. Ibaka's a versatile defender who will hopefully get his 3 point percentage back up after a down season last year. With some of the lineups the Magic are likely to trot out, they're going to rely on Ibaka to stretch the floor. He would perhaps have the coolest sounding name in the NBA this year, if not for.... Bismack Biyombo  The former Raptor made a name for himself in the playoffs with his incredible drive and hustle. A great defensive player, Biyombo struggles on the offensive end. He is getting like $17 million and might not start. Other signings: Jeff Green D.J. Augustin Stephen Zimmerman (this was their second round draft pick this year) Jodie Meeks C.J. Wilcox Cliff "High Upside" Alexander Some other people who cares Returning starters (probably) Evan Fournier  The apple of NickRoweFillea's eye, Evan just signed a big contract (albeit with a friends and family discount) to stay long term with the Magic. Their best hope at a breakout star this year, and if not, a surefire starter with a great outside shot. NIkola Vucevic  Aptly described as "Super Kanter" (Super Gulen?) by someone in the NBA thread, Vucevic is a great scorer and a not so great defender. Likely too slow to guard most 4s, while at the same time lacking in rim protector prowess, we might be seeing Vuc start games, while Biyombo closes them out. If he could shoot 3s, which Vogel suggested he might have Vucevic experiment with this year, he'd be a much more potent threat. Who the gently caress is gonna break out? Aaron Gordon  Coming into his third year, the Dunklord has seen the addition of players who are going to eat up time at the 4. Thus, Vogel has talked about Gordon slotting in at the 3, which is worrying. Gordon is a very good defender, and a sub .300 three point shooter. Supposedly his shot is looking much improved, as is his passing. We'll see. I don't see Gordon fitting in the modern NBA as a SF, but I sure do see him as a prototype 4 and a small ball 5. But Vogel knows a lot better than me! Mario Hezonja  Think of all the ways you can make up a cool nickname by abbreviating that last name. Zone! Hez! Ja! Nope - he's doomed to be Super Mario now and forever. The 5th pick overall last draft saw incredibly spotty time - sometimes starting, sometimes playing not at all - in Skiles' foolhardy quest to make the playoffs, which makes his advanced stats look worse than they actually were. His defense needs a lot of work, but his outside shot is reliable and he can drive, so with the added defensive players, I could see him putting up some good numbers. Hezonja has played in Europe since he was around 12. Elfrid Payton (can't find a shirtless pic gently caress him) Good passer, bad shooter. His shot was better last year than the previous year, and one would hope that trend continues. The presumptive starting PG again this year. Since he hasn't scored much with ample playing time the last two seasons, I don't see him being anything other than a solid PG - which, hey, that's fine. Someone's gotta pass the ball. EXPECTATIONS Fuuuuuck who knows? This is a weird team with a lot of what ifs. What if Hezonja refines the flashes he's shown? What if Gordon learns how to dunk from the three point line, and will that count as three points? What if Ibaka thrives as a 1 or 2 option? What if Fournier fully realizes his potential and becomes a star? What if this is a slapdash team with limited continuity that toils its way to a first round exit in the playoffs at best, and more likely winds up with 30-ish wins? The Magic are a weird team, and very young, and none of you are going to be able to watch any of their games.
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Oct 4, 2016 20:06
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Lockback posted:
I can't wait to find out which magic third string guard Thibs will inexplicably make look like an all star this year.
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Oct 4, 2016 20:17
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Strenuous Manflurry posted:Evan Fournier This is inaccurate and extremely disrespectful to EvanTH and me. My Boy Nick (MBN) coveted Evan as a source of shooting during the offseason but he's not in love with him. Good writeup, however, I will picket outside of your house until the day I die.
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Oct 4, 2016 21:52
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 ……The Golden State Warriors! Remember in that first Star Wars movie which was actually #4 when the Death Star blew up? Well, just like JJ Abrams, the Golden State Warriors rebuilt the Death Star and made it BIGGER AND BADDER THAN EVER!  Comprised of a group of likable guys (minus the guy that has an obsession with nether regions) because they started winning and becoming confident, they have become decidedly unlikable because they: X. For this equation, let X = TAKE VINES WITH THE FIRST LADY! RUIN THE GAME OF BASKETBALL BECAUSE THEY TAKE CRAZY SHOTS! WIN! (except when they choke 3-1 leads in the Finals) SMILE AND DO SILLY THINGS WHILE WINNING! The Warriors had a busy offseason- you may have heard about it. They signed the most prized player available during the summer, an instant impact kind of guy that every franchise would kill to have. Though he received some heat for taking a pay cut to join the team, it’s expected that he’ll fit in just fine into the system with the guys:  JAVALE MCGEE Owner  Joseph Steven Lacob Ever wish you were light years ahead of your competition at whatever you do? That’s Joe Lacob  .A venture capitalist/private equity  stacker (SA’s most beloved type of people) Lacob bought the Warriors away from the cesspool of ownership that was once…what’s his name? Oh, that’s right. Chris Cohan. It really just seems like a bad dream now, all those years of Bobby Sura, surrounded by the corpses of Clifford Robinson and Calbert Cheaney, contract year Erick Dampier…I digress. Joe Lacob is actually not as rear end in a top hat-ish as people make him out to be. He’s a pretty cool, down to Earth guy that has quietly invested a poo poo on of charity $$$ into the Bay Area. It’s ok though, because whatever we read in the media is always true, especially if you saw it on First Take with Stephen A. Smith, so let’s stick to the well-defined, perfectly constructed narrative of him deserving the guillotine. General Manager  Bob Myers One of the most honest, upfront, awesome GM’s in all of sports. Yes, I’m partial because I’ve met the guy and he’s as genuine as they come. Go ahead and make fun of Joe Lacob all you want. Bob Myers is a cool rear end dude responsible (in part) for some amazing drafts, trades, and roster construction. Coach  Steve Kerr One of the most honest, upfront, awesome coaches in all of sports. Yes, I’m partial because I’ve met the guy and he’s as genuine as they come, just like Bob. I served him at a wine bar I used to work at and he literally broke down the triangle offense on his charcuterie board using Marcona almonds and dried cranberries as the two teams. Also, he tipped $30 on $85. Steve Kerr is cool as gently caress, also a good coach, also a good human being. Starting PG:  Whoops, let’s try this again…  Wardell Stephen Curry II Ring leader of this band of world-class talents. Known for having ankles composed of paper mache, Stephen Curry is generally agreed upon as being the best shooter in the world, unless you’re Paul Pierce in which case the correct answer is Jonathan Clay Reddick. He’s the back-to-back MVP who, when his healthy ankles allow, does insane things with the basketball. Played through the finals with injuries, but inexplicably those injuries didn’t prevent him from setting an NBA playoff record for points in OT vs. the Trailblazers in the 2nd round, in his first game back from injury. Depending on who you ask, he’s either basketball Jesus or a shook-rear end wannabe that dissolves in crunch time and couldn’t shake Kevin Love in the end of game 7. Divisive and diminutive, Curry routinely ends up on the highlight reel and was, at one point, every single person in SAS’s favorite college player, regardless of what they might say now. Starting SG:  Klay Alexander Thompson A walking chimney nicknamed ‘Smokey’ who looks perma-high, Klay Thompson is also considered to be one of the best shooters in the league. He holds the NBA record for points in a single quarter (37, seriously. Let that sink in. THIRTY loving SEVEN POINTS.) and is widely considered to be the best shooting SG in the league. Some people will make the argument that he’s the best all-around SG in the league, but that’s another show. If you need to find him, he’ll more than likely be walking his bulldog in Berkeley signing petitions supporting the legalization of weed in California. Small Forward  Kevin Alexadner Durant It’s so fresh I can’t even find a good picture of him in a Warriors jersey  A 6’11 (or 7 foot, depends who you ask) athletic freak, Kevin Durant made Metapod literally cry. Don’t listen to him if he tells you otherwise, sources close to the situation confirmed actual tears, and they weren’t from ‘dust’ or ‘allergens’ like he said back in 2012. But it wasn’t just Metapod that cried, it was the entire state of Oklahoma when Kevin Durant, using the power afforded him by the Collective Bargaining Agreement and his own free will as an individual, decided to change uniforms and play for a different team. *audible gasps*. Durant, an unrestricted free agent, decided to make his own choice and play where he wanted to play, which apparently is enough to offend millions across the country. As if their over-drafted checking accounts and exceedingly large waistlines weren’t offensive enough, these people took to the Twitterverse and sports radio en masse and made their takes, which were hotter than the gaseous surface of the sun, known to everyone who gave absolutely zero shits about it to begin with. Kevin Durant is a top 3 player in the league, he’s a cool guy, he’s amazing at basketball and he play for the Golden State Warriors. Power Forward  Andre Tyler Iguodala I’m pretending we’re starting with the small lineup, so Andre Iguodala gets the nod here. A former Olympian, all-star, Finals MVP (which is kind of a joke because anyone who gives a poo poo about basketball knows that LeBron should have gotten that) and deliverer of ill-timed comedy, Andre Iguodala is the glue guy that makes the team click. His absence results in scatterbrained play, and his presence keeps the team focused. He’s old now, though, and he’s injured quite often. And he’s also not good at freethrows unless there’s .7 seconds and he’s in OKC. Then he’s clutch AF. Center  Draymond Jamal Green Everyone’s favorite donkey from Shrek, Draymond Green is Jonny Blaze from Mortal Kombat. Testicles, enter at your own risk. Draymond is one of those guys that you love to have on your team but then get mad when he gets a ton of technical fouls and gets suspended in the 5th game of the Finals when you have a 3-1 lead and you’re playing at home to close it out for back to back championships in the year your team went 73-9 and you can cinch down the best season in NBA history and then you get mad at him but you don’t want to be mad because he’s a large part of the reason why you’re there but SERIOUSLY DRAYMOND WHY DID YOU HAVE TO KICK STEVEN ADAMS IN THE NUTS!? Draymond is an emotional tight rope walker who slipped last year but instead of hurting himself, sent his partner to a hardwood grave 50 feet below. He’s unselfish, has a high basketball IQ, plays smothering defense, has been called the ‘heartbeat of the team’ by his coach, and loves any and all things phallic. The rest of the guys Who cares? The Warriors open the season as a massive favorite, the first time I’ve seen Vegas post negative odds before the season started, indicating that they’re an overwhelming frontrunner to win it all. Personally, I think they will, but there’s no way in hell they’re going to eclipse last year’s win total. If you want to learn more, just tune into ESPN at the beginning of Sports Center once NFL is done and you’ll be able to see the Warriors lead off the show literally every single night. TheKevman fucked around with this message at 22:30 on Oct 4, 2016 |
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Oct 4, 2016 22:26
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I didn't know Terrence Ross banged Amber Rose. I learned something
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Oct 4, 2016 23:00
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Also CBM is right I coveted Evan for his shooting ability and he is indeed the Apple of my eye but EvanTH and CBM are the ones who love him
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Oct 4, 2016 23:07
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Your 2016-2017 Denver Nuggets, aka Not the Broncos, So Nobody Gives a poo poo COACH  Mike Malone, the Boogie-Whisperer. Mike was unceremoniously dumped by the Kings after daring to lose a handful of games after their franchise center went down with a life threatening illness. Josh Kroenke graciously took him in and is good to him and loves him very much. By all accounts he is an intelligent, analytical "player's coach" and everyone on the team seems to like him quite a bit. STARTERS:  Emmanuel Mudiay (PG): He's coming into his 2nd year in the NBA after a statistically horrible rookie year. He's a big, athletic dude with great court vision and cool hair but he can't shoot for god drat poo poo. Personally, I think this guy is gonna bust but I suppose it's too soon to write him off yet.  Gary Harris (SG): 3rd year shooting guard. Had a miraculous leap in production in 2015/16 after a very lovely rookie year. Led the team in minutes last year and appears to be evolving into a pretty solid 3 + D rotational guard. Has the name and face of a middle aged cop.  Danilo Gallinari (SF): The best player on the team. Long, crafty scorer. Shooter of crazy trick shots. Gets to the line a shitload. Sported a ghastly beard in 2015; he looked like an elongated Cousin Mose. Probably the team's best chance at having an all-star since Melo, but has delicate baby ligaments and will probably get injured yet again.  Nikola Jokic (PF/C): The handful of people who actually watch the Nuggets are pretty excited about this dude. He started his career as a fat point guard so he's an exceptionally good passer for his age and size, has range out to the 3pt line and seems to have a super high BBIQ. Smart basketball nerd types say his advanced stats look great. He balled the hell out against Team USA during the Olympics this year which seems like a pretty good sign. Oh, and he was a mid second round pic.   Jusuf Nurkic (C): Fans are excited about this guy too. Big bruiser center who talks a lot of poo poo and sort of backs it up. Defensively he's pretty drat good for his age, good rim protector and shot blocker. Offensively still pretty raw. Makes the above expression a lot because he's constantly loving fouling. Has a huge dad with huge hands.  Kenneth Faried (PF): Including him with the starters because the lineup hasn't been figured out yet. Energetic, athletic, excellent offensive rebounder with great hustle who is undersized and can neither shoot nor defend very well. He's fun as poo poo to watch run up and down the court through, and he throws down some rad putbacks. Also I saw him at a Super Target one time. The Other Guys of Note: Wilson Chandler (SF) - Back after being out all last season. Well rounded small forward. Good size, good defender, good from 3pt range. He's just generally good at everything, including being injured. He will probably play 30-40 games this year and then get loving injured. Will Barton (SG/SF) - Had a breakout season last year, ended up a dark horse for 6th man of the year. Super quick, thrives on the break, great rebounder for a guard. Plays pretty wild and tends to be inconsistent night to night. Darrell Arthur (PF) - Just a solid player on a really nice contract. Good defender and money from mid-range. Jameer Nelson (PG) - Pretty washed up point guard but hopefully he still has a little bit left in the tank. Still knows how to run an offense. Malone relies on him when Mudiay is being particularly exasperating. Mike Miller (SF) - Mike Miller is still in the league. Rookies: Jamal Murray, Malik Beasley, Juan Hernangomez: I know next to nothing about these guys but Murray and Beasley bring scoring and outside shooting which we need desperately. Other Guys Not of Note: Jarnell Stokes, Nate Wolters, Robbie Hummel, JaKarr Sampson, Axel Toupane: These are the names of some basketball players. The team looks to be bad for yet another year, but the Nuggets are actually in a pretty good place. They have a low payroll, every contract is movable, and most of the rookies and younger guys look very promising. The front office has been chasing a star for a few years now; they were rumored to be after guys like Brook Lopez, Blake Griffin, Kevin Love, and came close (lol) to signing Wade this offseason. If they end up losing a decent amount of games early in the year (they probably will), look for them to pull the trigger on a big trade. Halfling Wizard Bear fucked around with this message at 01:12 on Oct 5, 2016 |
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Oct 4, 2016 23:42
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I don't want to be too fancy, especially since Gumslinger is probably working on a 500MB masterpiece but here is the Lakers breakdown: Front Office Owner - Buss Family - Cool GM - Mitch Kupchak - Cool These guys are still responsible for more title and final appearances than anyone but the Spurs and Lebron can brag about, not sure how people pretend they're bad but whatever. Coach: Luke Walton - Luke is an intersection of a lot of great basketball minds, which is why I called this a year and a quarter ago. I won't write too many superlatives about the greats who've taught him yet because we don't really know if he's learned the lessons. Brian Shaw will help him develop his game plans, but he might need another veteran mind on his staff (Bill Bertka has been apparently seen around Lakers practices again recently and that will certainly help, although that guy can't go on the road or even attend games every night). He's not Byron Scott or Mike D'Antoni though, so, it's unlikely that he's worse than some recent coaches. Draft: Brandon Ingram - I liked a lot of what I saw in the preseason, but he had very little to show for his play. He's a skinny and lanky finesse player who shoots a lot of jumpers, which are all things that sometimes take a while to translate into the NBA, if they do at all. The Wes Johnson comparisons are ridiculous, as someone who's seen a lot of Wes Johnson. But the Durant comparisons are also hasty. Ivica Zubac - One of the better big men in the summer league, better than several people drafted higher than him. How does that translate to the NBA? Who knows. Losses: Kobe Bryant - What needs to be said? Brandon Bass - Deserves better. Roy Hibbert - I feel for the guy, being motivated to play for last years Lakers probably would be really hard, and the defense really hosed him. But, this year is going to be tough too, so keeping him around seemed like a bad cultural move. Hopefully he'll be happier in Charlotte. Ryan Kelly - I've never seen a player make that drastic of a transformation in athleticism over the course of his career. He worked really hard. But, he never really showed the ability to hit that jumper that was really the reason he was drafted for. I do think he is a fringe NBA player but he is gonna need some NBA minutes to get there. Robert Sacre - Gonna miss the gently caress out of you dogg. Re-Signings: Jordan Clarkson - Had a very dismal start to the season. He was at Nick Young levels of ballhoginess which kind of made his offensive contribution a bit of a mirage. In the second half of the season, though, he really became a much better teammate (kind of like he was his rookie season) and I'm excited at the possibility of his continued improvement. I think the new system will be great for him, although there may be some learning curve since he's been allowed to be ISO-only his whole career. Tarik Black - A good backup bigman trapped in the body of a human foul machine. If he can relax a little he can be a big part of the Lakers rotation. Marcelinho Huertas - Looked scary bad sometimes early on, but as he caught up to the speed of the NBA, he started to be a pretty solid backup PG. World Peace (he has dropped Metta) He's on a make good contract but the thought is right now that he'll probably make the team. The young guys listen to him and he works really hard in practice. His offensive game is completely and totally gone, and he doesn't even look to try it, but he can still play brutally effective defense in stretches. Acquisitions: Tim Mosgov - Despite all the drama associated with the signing, this is a relatively low risk add for the Lakers, that they could afford to make. At worst he'll be a veteran and positive locker room voice that will still be a positive presence on the team even if he can't go anymore, at best, he'll be one of the small number of offensively productive big men in the league who suits their offense and plays a bit of defense. Further, it's really easy to shed a contract in 2016, and he also gave the Lakers a high dollar contract at a tradeable amount that they've been lacking recently, which made some deals impossible to even approach. Luol Deng - The only SI top 100 player on the Lakers! Lol. Like Mosgov, Deng was brought in for his character, but it's a little more certain that he has something in the tank still. He'll probably start early on and be an important part of the Lakers offense. And later in the season, if Ingram earns his spot, Deng won't pout about it and will probably contribute off the bench. Jose Calderon - He's pretty washed now, which is sad because it's not been too long since he was a good player. But, the Lakers got paid two second round picks to take him so that seems like a nice deal. Jianlian Yi - Signed what some people are calling a brilliant contract with the Lakers, he's almost guaranteed to be paid exactly what he's worth. He could be a solid reserve center or forward, or maybe end up not making the team at all. He has a rep of being a bad player--I know very little about him--but maybe some minutes abroad helped. Training Camp Invitees: WP - See Above Zach Augste - Another guy who looked sharp in Summer League. He's shown a lot of potential, and I think a year in the D-league will do him well if he doesn't make the team outright. Thomas Robinson - Has a nice story attached to him. Didn't see much else. Rumors of being tough to work with. Travis Wear - I feel like he probably could've went to a different team and had a much better shot of actually making their roster. As it is, he's a guy who's shown some good basketball here and there, but mostly nothing. Other Returnees: D'Angelo Russell - Some people are predicting a breakout year, but I think we still might be a year away. Regardless, the time in Team USA and some good moments in summer league are positive things to build off of. This year he needs to have some of those fancy passes end up as completed assists (not totally under his power, but Loul Deng and Mosgov will be better pick and roll partners than anyone he had last year) and obviously continue to improve his range. The drama people attach to him is loving stupid. Lou Williams - By the numbers, the best Laker last year. Seemingly all of the good of Nick Young, with less of the bad. He was their most effective offensive weapon for sure. But, having watched him in action, as the year went on I started to feel he was pretty disruptive to the Lakers ability to run an offense, and like some of the things I hear about him don't make me sure he'll be on board with the new culture shift (it appears in the locker room he might be the bad of Nick Young, without any of the good). Julius Randle - This will be in truth his sophmore season, so I will try to have the expectations of him as a sophmore player. Which is, that he still may have a lot of flaws, but the goal for the season is improvement of those flaws. He's really strong. Rebounds very well. He has a nice first step for someone taller than 6'6". I love his attitude. He can't shoot, he finishes poorly around the rim, and his post game is confusing because it's fundamentally sound until he leaves his feat, then looks atrocious. Larry Nance Jr - He had a promising summer league run until he broke his wrist, although that's apparently healed. If he can play like he played in summer league, he'll force his way into lots of minutes (player he most reminds me of: young Jerome Kersey). He rebounds, plays hard, dunks hard, and is desperate to win. Honestly he'd be the perfect young guy on like, the Spurs or Cavs and I hope his spirit isn't broken in LA. Anthony Brown - He showed some nice flashes of NBA talent, but was unable to really consistently shine. I see the potential for three & d but he has a long way to go. The new system will help. He has a leg up on a lot of the guys who are on the Lakers roster bubble in that the Lakers can still stash him in the D-league for free. Nick Young - Probably the most on the bubble player for the Lakers. He's saying all the right things this offseason. He's also popular with a lot of the junior front office staff and team support, said to be a fun guy to be around. Although also apparently sometimes a problem and a "bad influence" which might have him on the outs with some of the more established front office people. His chances of being on the team at the tip of regular season really depend on who you believe. I think he has a better chance of fitting in to what the Lakers are doing than Lou Williams, and if Young is on board he may surprise some people with his effectiveness, but I don't know if it's worth all the things that are wrapped up in Nick Young. Projected Rotation: C: Mosgov, Yi, Zubac, Black PF: Randle, Nance, Black, Deng, MWP SF: Deng, Ingram, Williams, Young, MWP SG: Clarkson, Russell, Williams, Young, MWP PG: Russell, Clarkson, Huertas, Calderon Overall this is probably a twenty-two win team. These are a lot of words I wrote about a bad team. But I'm hopeful that this year will be a lot more fun to watch than last year, even if it doesn't lead to many more wins. I'm simply looking for a spark of hope. Rick fucked around with this message at 00:20 on Oct 5, 2016 |
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Oct 5, 2016 00:09
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NickRoweFillea posted:Also CBM is right I coveted Evan for his shooting ability and he is indeed the Apple of my eye but EvanTH and CBM are the ones who love him I didn't mean to demean your apple. Please trust my intentions. I'll do a celtics writeup soon if someone else doesn't
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Oct 5, 2016 01:05
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This is a really fun thread and has helped me get more knowledgeable about several different franchises. Sorry about misappropriating Fournier-thirst though, friends.
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Oct 5, 2016 01:14
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It's ok we are happy to have more hoop fans and I want to hear some stories about you coaching those kids
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Oct 5, 2016 01:17
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NickRoweFillea posted:It's ok we are happy to have more hoop fans and I want to hear some stories about you coaching those kids  I'll keep it short this time so as not to distract this thread - after losing our first game to the best team in the league, we bounced back in week two with a tremendous performance to win by 16. Nearly every point was a fast break on a steal. I did my best Thibs impression and my voice has still not recovered.
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Oct 5, 2016 02:25
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http://imgur.com/a/50u1v Your 2016-2017 Disruptors Of The NBA, Your Sacramento Kings 3.0 Except for a very brief moment in the early 2000s, the Kings have not been a proud franchise. Perennial losers stuck in the punchline of California, not much good was ever associated with the Kings. That was until the team was purchased by one of the most disruptive, innovative men in technology. Now the franchise is on the up-and-up and big things are coming our way...nope not really. The team will be mediocre to bad again this year. All the off-season moves were either to maintain future flexibility or to collect future assets, there is not much immediate help coming in for a team that looked quite hapless last season. But the fans are loyal and we have a shiny new arena to distract everyone for a season or two. Owner: Vivek Ranadive  The visionary of NBA3.0. Promised to disrupt the league with forward thinking innovative tech-centric ideas. This resulted in things like Bitcoin being accepted in the team store, everyone wearing Google Glass for pre-game back when people cared about Google Glass, crowd sourcing the draft, using science and data to prove Nik rocks, and robotic security guards that I will one day pee on. While all of these things are clear home run ideas, his work in the personnel side of things has been terrible. Whether it was soley his decision or manipulated into it, he fired the only good coach we've had in a decade when the team was actually playing well. He then panic hired George Karl to cover for the mistake and the end result was just like every other George Karl stint only without any of the short term success stuff. We've also made a bunch of baffling trade and free agent decisions in an attempt to build a "win now" team. But this off-season he's largely been quiet. Nothing big or splashy was done and, for better or worse, the front office appears to have been free to do it's thing unencumbered. Has Vivek transitioned to a Kings Owner 2.0? I hope so.  Big bearded loveable Vlade. Sacramento loves this big soft chainsmoking teddy bear for all the good stuff he was a part of back during our brief run of relevance. But as a basketball decision maker he has been terrible. Last season he traded away a bunch of assets in order to get a bunch of cap space so he could sign some guy before they even had a meeting. Said player then said "nah I'm good" and Vlade was left holding a bag which turned into Marco Belinelli and Kosta Koufos. Chain smoking probably would have been a more well-thought out long term decision than that. Vlade was relatively quiet on the trade front, but that's probably because no one wants our garbage. This summer Vlade brought in an actual front office support guy who actually knows trivial things like "what's a salary cap" and "how to structure a smart contract". The result was we made some very shrewd short term deals for veteran players. But while we made some smart free agency signings, the draft was one big head scratcher. Our top pick was used on a guy who plays the same position as our best player and we drafted a SG that can't shoot. All in all Vlade the basketball operations guy still is a work in progress. The Coach Until Vivek Fires Him: Dave Joerger  Found his way onto the team because of drama with previous employer. Now in charge of a bunch of 14 year old cry baby brats. The Kings lucked into a quality coaching prospect here. After diddling around with the likes of Mike Bibby's dad, Vinny Del Negro, and Mark Jackson, the Kings snagged the coach of a perennial playoff team. And got him for a pretty cheap rate too. Given his reputation from Memphis, should get buy-in from Cousins. And hopefully can use his experience with Zach and Marc to figure out something with Cousins and the armada of big men and lack of shooting we have. The Team Centers: DeMarcus Cousins: Center+++  Perpetual sourpuss. DeMarcus Cousins is the best player on this team and possibly the best player we've ever had in Sacramento. But because of his outbursts and the team's lack of success, he's extremely polarizing. He'll fill up the stat sheet and dominate the game and the Kings will lose 97-85. Offensively, Cousins can be a marvel. One of the few players today with an actual post-game. While he has great footwork and balance and quickness on the move, he's more Miami Shaq than Hakeem in the post. While the eye-test will indicate he can shoot from the outside, in practice he takes a bunch of bad shots from there. And it keeps him off the boards, where he is an absolute monster. Cousins has some passing talent but rarely displays it. Defensively he can run the spectrum from under-appreciated to trainwreck. He's impossible to move down low, cleans up the boards, is great at drawing charges, and has good anticipation. But he slacks off coming back on D and absolutely needs to be hidden on pick-and-rolls. Trade rumors constantly surround him and he clearly hates being on losing teams. While he's displayed great loyalty to the city of Sacramento, this may be his last season with the team if things continue to be as ugly as ever Willie Caulie-Stein: Power Forward/Center  One of the lone bright spots for the team last season and like the only good young player we have. The fanbase absolutely loves the man. WCS shows good defensive abilities and traits. He's long and has great speed and lateral quickness. He can switch on pick-and-rolls, defend out to the perimeter, and provide weak-side shot blocking. Defensively, he looks like the perfect complement to Cousins. Offensively he's pretty raw and basic. He claimed he had a golden stroke from the outside and his form looks ok, but he appears to have no touch and most of his buckets came off cuts, put-backs, and lobs. Which is fine but if he doesn't develop any range things will get crowded with him and Cousins on the floor. Kosta Koufos: Center--  Bland, boring, and utterly tasteless but will get the job done. Defensively he is solid, both in the post and on PNRs. Offensively he has stone hands and his only go-to move is an ugly half-hook thing. Has absolutely no place on this team anymore with all the other, younger bigs and Vlade is probably shopping him at every opportunity. Georgios Papagiannis: Pizza Center  Who the hell is this guy? Like, we drafted him 4 months ago and I still don't know who he is. With the #13th pick, the Kings went against conventional wisdom and drafted neither for talent nor for need. Papa John wasn't on most first round mock boards and the ones that had him mocked in their second probably did so only because they thought he was a draft and stash candidate. Not sure what he really brings to the table. He is still raw so he won't help immediately. And he plays the same position as our best player so it's not like we have the ability to develop and showcase him. Sat out a bunch of Summer League because of knee stiffness (always a good sign) and when he did play he looked terrible. Slow and hesitant in the post and worse than not there on defense. But the man can dance I guess https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y69j7UezkOA Anthony Tolliver: Stretch Center  Did one thing that launched his career and made him millions of dollars. Tolliver can shoot 3s. Shoot them pretty well for a big man. So because he has 1 trait which is in vogue right now, he's able to hang around the league even though he's an undersized big man who doesn't block shots or rebound all that well. A stretch 4 will open up things for Cousins though, so I'm interested in seeing Joerger manufacture ways to keep him on the floor. Skal Labissiere: Upside Center  A huge amount of potential and growth with this guy. Until the house of cards comes crashing down and people realize it was all smoke and mirrors. Skal has a couple of things going for him. A beautiful looking shooting stroke, a tease of 3pt range, and the length and quickness to potentially be a disruptive defender. But he has like no basketball IQ and looks like he has no idea where he should be on the court. Offensively has a couple of moves in the post but otherwise looks clueless. Needs to bulk up too as he's pushed around easily. Will hopefully spend all his time in Reno as he needs basketball playing time in the worst way. Not Centers Rudy Gay: Small Forward  The one of the last dinosaurs of an era long gone. Rudy is a bit of a throw-back to the basketball dark ages. An offensive wing without much range who prefers to make a living taking tough midrange shots. Rudy has had a hard time finding a place for himself in the league, and part of that is because of how he is viewed and used. He looks the part of a primary scoring option. Long, strong, and athletic. But he has a weak handle and slow first step, so he isn't able to manufacture separation. And he has little in the way of range so defenders don't have to respect his shot. He was best used by Mike Malone as a secondary option and setup things off-the-ball to get him scoring efficiently. Think more of a Peja than a Durant. Get him the ball with a live dribble, off a curl where he gets a step on his defender, or any other way where he's in motion on the pass and he can do well. Dump it to him at the top of the key and tell him to create something and bad things will happen. And he's not a stretch 4 so don't even think about it. The Kings have been openly shopping Rudy for some time. He makes a reasonable amount this season but will most likely opt out next season, so the Kings probably won't net much for a much maligned wing on the wrong side of 30. Ben McLemore: Shooting Guard  Ben was once a hot commodity but failed to live up to any of the hype and is now a near worthless asset. Ben looks the part of a good shooting guard. He's athletic and has a sweet looking stroke. But the problem with Ben is consistency. He'll put together a couple of solid games and then disappear for weeks on end. Offensively he can't do much other than spot-up or get some easy points off cuts. Has no handles whatsoever and not a good passer. Defensively he can show good effort but is not what you'd consider a 3 and D guy. At this point the Kings are in reclamation mode with Ben. But with the team signing a veteran SG, another stashed overseas, and a third just drafted, Ben is clearly the odd man out for the team. Expect him to be traded for nothing during the deadline Darren Collison: Point Guard  Will be missing time due to domestic abuse. Collison has always reminded me of an Earl Watson type PG. Better than what you need in a backup PG. But if he's your starter you're always looking for an upgrade. Last season was kind of weird for Collison as Karl loved playing him as a SG opposite Rondo. This year he again has the keys to the Kings offense but will miss the first 8 games due to suspension. It seems weird calling Collison a mediocre PG, but there are 20 or so starting PGs I'd take over him. He's quick and has a decent midrange jumper and turned himself into a respectable 3pt shooter. But he's not a great distributor nor is he a great play maker or scorer. Omri Casspi: Cousins' BFF  Joined at the hip with Cousins. The person DeMarcus trusts the most to go to war with, except for maybe John Wall. Omri is a fan favorite who resigned with Sacramento last season at a drat bargain basement rate. His first stint in Sacramento he was knocked for being a bit of a ballhog and chucker. But his more mature iteration turned into a very efficient scorer who knows his limitations. He's a very good 3pt shooter and also has taken a page from Manu and developed a very nice assortment of step-through and awkward angle floaters around the rim. Surprisingly not what I consider a very good defensive player given his physical traits and feistiness. If Rudy Gay gets moved, expect Casspi to take up the starting SF role. Matt Barnes: Piece Of Garbage  A basketball troll who gets off on annoying and pissing off all those opposing players around him. Gives two shits about what you think of him. Ok maybe I'm being a little too hard on Sactown's Finest. Barnes is getting up there in age so I'm expecting him to do some hard fouls and take more 3pt shots than he should. Hopefully nothing more than additional forward depth. Aaron Afflalo: Shooting Guard  Basically coasting off the name he made for himself a long time ago. I actually like Afflalo I just wish we got the version of him that existed 5 years ago. Has a reputation as a good wing defender, but from what I saw last season he's legs are gone and he doesn't stay focused on his man anymore. Offensively he went from an efficient guy to a chucker. McLemore was roasted by fans for not being good enough, but some of Afflalo's advanced offensive numbers aren't that much different. He's here on a low risk, effectively one year deal so he has every incentive to play himself back into a good reputation. Lost his spot in the rotation for Sasha Vujacic of all loving people. Ty Lawson: Point Guard  Something something about cars and drunk driving. Vlade reclamation PG project #2. Lawson looked terrible last season and I don't see what's different between then and now other than he says he has a chip on his shoulder. He'll have a big opportunity to start the season with Collison out. He is a speedster and I'm interested to see how Joerger can open things up for him with 3 non-shooters on the floor at the same time. Garrett Temple: Guard  Vlade's biggest money signing this summer. Yeah sure, you can go in big on that I guess cause you're desperate to do something good luck with that. Reputation as a good defender and positive locker room guy. Played himself into this deal by filling in well for Bradley Beal. But he's a 30 year old middling combo guard who is only decent at a couple of things, and we locked him up for 3 years. We already had to sign two reclamation project PGs because our combo guard isn't capable of running the point. Malachi Richardson: Shooting Guard  Based on his tournament reputation he looks like a great scoring guard and athlete, but when you go looking up the actual numbers they just aren't there. Call me old fashion but I like my SG to be able to shoot the ball. He looks long but also isn't an elite athlete. Basically takes a bunch of bad shots that he shouldn't, either because they aren't good looks or because he isn't able to get the separation he needs. The hope is that you can coach the bad shooting habits out of him, which will probably be hard because Malachi is already referring to himself as someone who can put the ball in the hoop. Knightman: Security Guard  Robotic security presence which captures crime in stunning HD and runs over lawbreaking toddlers. Was on the scene during the opening game last season, but was mysteriously absent since. Possibly related to me grilling the Knightman engineers on why it had a CD slot, what would happen if I peed on it, and does it feel remorse.
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Oct 5, 2016 06:19
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WhyteRyce posted:Georgios Papagiannis: Pizza Center Papagiannis is a lean mean pick and roll machine. Brandan Wright with better defense. He was always going to be a first round pick.
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Oct 5, 2016 06:49
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