|
Ever since the arrival of "Eric" our fan-fiction society had begun the inexorable slide towards inevitable destruction. After the events of last night I became so powerfully angry that I ended up sleeping on my neighbour's driveway. I woke up underneath his car, yet another data point in my developing theory that my neighbour, who works the night shifts, is parking his car on top of me when I sleep there. I sleep outside during these potent rages because I am concerned that my treasured posessions would not survive the full force of my fury, not even my collection of editions of the seminal Objectivist text "The Fountainhead", which are ordered by publication date and at this point certainly worth a vast sum of money should I ever choose to sell them which I never would because of how important they are to me. The latest consignment of ignorant bile that emanated from what "Eric" is pleased to call his mind was over my Captain America/House crossover fic which I continue to maintain recontextualises both works to such an insightful extent that it could heal the divisions in our great nation if only the ignorant peons that comprise the majority of the populace would open their minds long enough to see it. The preening ignoramus made a number of unwelcome and incorrect observations regarding a key character in my work, who helps Dr. Gregory House lead Steve Rogers to the inevitable conclusion that Anarcho-Capitalism is the only correct way for a nation to function. "Eric" insisted that this character represented a "blatant self-insert", purely because they simply happen to have the same hair and eye colour as me as well as sharing my beliefs and stylish dress sense. I suppose that I should not allow myself to be surprised by the capriciousness of inferior minds, but it continues to baffle me that my fellows afford this "Eric" with any measure whatsoever of attention and respect. This is a man who will freely admit without any trace of shame to enjoying the show "The Big Bang Theory" which is deeply offensive in the way that it stereotypes nerds and nerd culture, which if you look at it objectively is absolutely the most oppressed group in the world. That show is basically blackface but for nerds and if these SJWs really cared about so-called "cultural appropriation" they would be up in arms about this shameful nonsense but they are not, which tells you all you need to know, really. He also once made a joke the punchline of which was a reference to the "Large HARD-ON Collider" which I did not appreciate because the project at CERN has become very personally meaningful to me ever since I read an article about the Higgs Boson on Forbes dot com, a site I no longer frequent due to their policy on ad blockers. Sometimes at night when the panic attacks threaten to overwhelm it helps to rest my naked body against the cool enamel of my empty bath.
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:03
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 20:04 |
|
|
Welcome to the SA Forums!
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:05
|
|
|
This was funny, I wish I could write funny stuff like that. At this point I'm barely literate enough to compose emails to my colleagues.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:13
|
|
|
A good name and a good post
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:15
|
|
|
SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT posted:Ever since the arrival of "Eric" our fan-fiction society had begun the inexorable slide towards inevitable destruction. After the events of last night I became so powerfully angry that I ended up sleeping on my neighbour's driveway. I woke up underneath his car, yet another data point in my developing theory that my neighbour, who works the night shifts, is parking his car on top of me when I sleep there. I sleep outside during these potent rages because I am concerned that my treasured posessions would not survive the full force of my fury, not even my collection of editions of the seminal Objectivist text "The Fountainhead", which are ordered by publication date and at this point certainly worth a vast sum of money should I ever choose to sell them which I never would because of how important they are to me.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:22
|
|
|
Nothing more to say, really.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:26
|
|
|
At least John Galt is developing Alzheimers now
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:35
|
|
|
I like social justice
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:39
|
|
|
Op do you have any tips on creative writing and expanding one's vocabulary?
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:50
|
|
|
I voted 5 op
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 16:56
|
|
|
SirEvelynTremble posted:At least John Galt is developing Alzheimers now  5
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:04
|
|
|
Creative writing is both an art and a science much like the work of entrepreneur Elon Musk whose Myers-Briggs score is INTJ much like my own which has lead me to form a very personal attachment to both his work in electric cars but also his pioneering achievements in getting humanity to Mars, where I intend to live my final years, which will of course be final because there is no such thing as heaven. The fact that I keep the curtains shut on certain days has nothing to do with any kind of "being unable to cope", I simply dislike the glare on my dual monitors and I coincidentally prefer it when it is harder to see the contents of the mirror.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:04
|
|
|
Ignatius Reilly: millenial edition
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:10
|
|
|
Once upon a time, a great wise man known only as Hambone, set out out to write the greatest story ever told. Then he went on the internet and did nothing.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:17
|
|
|
thanks I needed this
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:18
|
|
|
You should get a third monitor to go above the other two its a "pro" gaming rig strat
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:19
|
|
|
i'm pretty sure that if you actually called out a self-insert at a fanfiction society then every single member would start cutting themselves up and running around in circles screaming in mortal terror
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:23
|
|
|
SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT posted:
yeah those mirror nerds can be sneaky lil bastards
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:46
|
|
|
The second insult came in as many days. I am not a fellow to anger easily, in fact I am a chill sort of guy but when I am riled up I am a force to be reckoned with. So powerful is the extent of my anger that in heated situations, such as when I am repeatedly mocked, often I am forced to leave the room to spare those present from my rage and power, but I am not leaving so nobody can see me cry, whatever slanderous cowards such as "Eric" might say. I have been working tirelessly for months to win the heart of the fair Betty by helping edit her admittedly awful "Little Mermaid" fics and generally being there for her like a true gentleman would. And yet this "Eric" has the gall to treat her so unchivalrously as to ask her out to dinner, right out from under my nose. She said yes of course, as women in our society feel so obliged to do to appease the cads and bounders of this world, ignoring men like me who would treat them like the royalty that they deserve to be, if only they would let us which they don't. It is much like the time I was ousted from my position as manager of the CounterStrike-themed internet radio station that I used to manage. Broadcasting five straight hours of Cradle of Filth is nothing less than a true education in what music could be if it tried harder, rather than "unreasonable and unlistenable" as certain Quisling server operators would have you believe. Just because you own the SHOUTcast server does not entitle you to pull my carefully grown and nutured radio station out from under me and my many supporters. Fortunately I have shown myself to be the bigger and more mature individual by stepping away and refusing to interact with anyone involved for over ten years which just goes to show how above it all and over the whole thing I am, unlike certain people I could name if it were not for the fact that I refuse to do that due to betrayal. I went so far as to unplug the radio and TV but for some reason I keep hearing an inexplicable sobbing noise every time I am alone in the dark.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:53
|
|
|
This writing reminds me of the long running series of front page articles about the anime loving nerd and his bro room mate Jerry, very funny.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:53
|
|
|
comparing the op to the front page, a grave insult
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 17:57
|
|
|
im confused as to how the op got ahold of my diary as i have only ever had it in analog written form on discarded napkins i keep under my bed
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:04
|
|
|
lacking in theology and geometry, voted 1
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:05
|
|
|
with this I WILL SHOT PUT
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:08
|
|
|
Hi Tim. Who's your favorite non-Sonic/Tails/Knuckles Sonic character? e: Also girls who are into Little Mermaid are not worth the daddy issues. Dinosaurmageddon fucked around with this message at 18:13 on Oct 14, 2016 |
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:10
|
|
|
FedEx Mercury posted:This writing reminds me of the long running series of front page articles about the anime loving nerd and his bro room mate Jerry, very funny. I miss the animals roommate series very much. It was one of the best front page running articles.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:17
|
|
|
Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:lacking in theology and geometry, voted 1 "Eric" once made an attempt to challenge me on the topic of Theology however I was able to masterfully shut him down, pointing out that it is a waste of time and certainly unworthy of being deemed an academic subject, in a similar vein to my masterful campaign to get my University to stop teaching Theology which would absolutely have been successful were it not for the fact that it was cut short by my having to drop out for personal reasons that are irrelevant to this discussion and not a big deal anyway. I once read a flyer for a talk on Plato's sacred geometry but I did not attend as I already understood the topic perfectly, although really it does not matter since sacred geometry is un-enlightened nonsense that has been demonstrated to be utterly wrong by the Copenhagen Interpretation of the Standard Model of Quantum Physics and possibly also Copernicus.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:22
|
|
|
Post more please.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:34
|
|
|
SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT posted:The fact that I keep the curtains shut on certain days has nothing to do with any kind of "being unable to cope", I simply dislike the glare on my dual monitors and I coincidentally prefer it when it is harder to see the contents of the mirror. lmao at your crosshairs being between 2 monitors. watch you get owned
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:37
|
|
|
lmao
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:38
|
|
|
Don't stop I'm almost there
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:40
|
|
|
Waffle! posted:Don't stop I'm almost there
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:44
|
|
|
found these drawings the OP apparently had commissioned of himself, pretty cool stuff OP   
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 18:49
|
|
|
Can I park my car on top of you, OP???
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 19:08
|
|
|
loquacius posted:found these drawings the OP apparently had commissioned of himself, pretty cool stuff OP One day this will become a movie. And on that day it will probably be terrible because Hollywood will cast Jack Black or something.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 19:11
|
|
|
"Brevity as soul of wit" confirmed.
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 19:14
|
|
|
well op guess what? MY SEXUALITY WAS TURNED INTO A MEME BY IDIOTS but seriously are you a gimmick account or what?
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 19:15
|
|
|
Solice Kirsk posted:One day this will become a movie. And on that day it will probably be terrible because Hollywood will cast Jack Black or something. *looks at casting notes* It's a fat guy, right? Fat white guy? Kind of a loser? Ok, call Jack Black. Why wouldn't you just do that first? I can't believe you're bothering me with this. e: I'm kind of wondering how Jim Gaffigan would do with it but other than that no famous people really suggest themselves. John C Reilly?
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 19:17
|
|
|
im confusedwhat are you guys talking about?
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 19:21
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 19, 2024 20:04 |
|
|
I always thought Philip Seymour Hoffman would have crushed it. Maybe they could dig up and reanimate his corpse?
|
|
#
?
Oct 14, 2016 19:21
|
|