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Pride and Prejudice: Mr Darcy can't work up the courage to court Elizabeth and eventually causes a shooter scare after publishing his manifesto on livejournal. Lydia is ostracised by the Bennet family after she courts a mormon accountant who has no game and is totally boring, but the rest of the family eventually wed a bunch of manbabies by dating the guys that sent the best dickpics on tinder and lives happily ever after. Mr Bennet dies of League of Legends related malnourishment and Mrs Bennet auctions his impressive Manga library to raise a dowry to spend on her next wedding.
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Oct 21, 2016 07:51
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LEAVES OF GRASS: And 20 more common myths you WON'T BELIEVE about how grass grows!
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Oct 21, 2016 07:53
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The Sun Also Rises: The novel now ends with the sentence "Prep the bull."
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Oct 21, 2016 07:53
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THE CRUCIBLE: Now ANYONE can work metal from home!
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Oct 21, 2016 07:53
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Beowulf: Grendel pins a picture of his mother on the wall of the longhouse but is forced out by the warriors' lewd comments. Grendel's mother takes revenge, but Beowulf uses lines that play on her insecurities to seduce her and she shamefully moves away to upper Saxony.
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Oct 21, 2016 07:57
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Don Quixote Man logs onto the internet, starts posting
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Oct 21, 2016 08:00
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Candide: Exactly the same, but set in the Middle East
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Oct 21, 2016 08:12
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Jaguars! posted:Beowulf: Grendel pins a picture of his mother on the wall of the longhouse but is forced out by the warriors' lewd comments. Grendel's mother takes revenge, but Beowulf uses lines that play on her insecurities to seduce her and she shamefully moves away to upper Saxony. Grendel: Grendel is a manchild that never leaves his mother's cave.
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Oct 21, 2016 08:13
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A Clockwork Orange: an unrepentant shitposter is forced to watch Lets Play's until all he can post is detailed critiques of old JRPGs
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Oct 21, 2016 08:22
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Othello: Promising young black politician shot during a routine traffic inspection
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Oct 21, 2016 08:22
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Brave New World: r/theredpill another loving bitch just turned me down even though I am an alpha male
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Oct 21, 2016 09:54
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The Glass Bead Game Basically the same novel, but Castalia is an online university, and the eponymous Glass Bead Game is developed by an agile scrum looking to disrupt academia and hack society through the gameification of knowledge. Joseph Knecht's self-driving car ploughs through a barrier and into a lake at the end while he's showing Designori's kid his TED talk about making sure you don't lose touch with reality on his phone. jBrereton fucked around with this message at 12:00 on Oct 21, 2016 |
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Oct 21, 2016 11:07
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The Unbearable Lightness of Being Czech doctor Tomas fucks around while his wife posts stuff like "feeling let down :/" regularly on Facebook to his and everyone else's utter disinterest.
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Oct 21, 2016 11:40
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A Christmas Carol paranormal investigators make surprise holiday visits to homes of the rich and famous Fahrenheit 451 a combination of heavy-handed moderation and extreme trolling leads to the deletion of internet forums Robinson Crusoe trust-fund hipster turns into a crustpunk freegan living in a tent by the river for a semester
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Oct 21, 2016 12:50
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where the red fern gropes posted:1984 2016
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Oct 21, 2016 12:51
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The Scarlet Letter Dimmesdale gay. Chillingworth joins the alt-right. Hester becomes the 45th President of the United States. The Scarlet Letter Internet controversy about whether the letter is red and gold, or blue and white.
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Oct 21, 2016 12:56
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Glenn Quebec posted:The Divine Comedy: Follow Vile Rat on his journey to God. His guide is the TCC goon that baked to death in his driveway.
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Oct 21, 2016 13:13
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One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest McMurphy is sentenced only to a few months in prison because the judge didn't want something like a rape charge to ruin his family life. The rest of the inmates are all homeless or dead after the mental hospital was shut down in the 80s. Nurse Ratched works in a regular hospital, spending her free time posting "tough nurse" memes on facebook.
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Oct 21, 2016 13:14
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Moby Dick: A Gbs thread where a neckbeard tells how he harpooned a slamwhale.
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Oct 21, 2016 13:18
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Journey to the Center of the Earth Jerry Mumphrey's quest for the missing ham.
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Oct 21, 2016 13:20
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The Memoirs of Hector Berlioz Smash Mouth: Recipes from the Road: A Rock N' Roll Cookbook
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Oct 21, 2016 13:30
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Life of PI: A group of refugees drown crossing the mediterranean with a pet cat
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Oct 21, 2016 13:45
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Fear and loathing on the campaign trail 2016 e: i wish.
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Oct 21, 2016 13:48
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Dante's Inferno A young man is gradually introduced to 9 different subreddits
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Oct 21, 2016 14:19
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The Odyssey - A returning soldier must confront vivid, PTSD-induced demonic hallucinations and find his way home before his dependapotamus fucks every guy in the complex
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Oct 21, 2016 14:46
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I, Robot - Specialists are called in as a young girl becomes emotionally attached to her Apple Watch.
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Oct 21, 2016 14:58
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PEPSI for TV-GAME
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The Left Hand of Darkness An envoy is sent to a newly discovered planet to judge fitness for joining in the interplanetary union, is exiled as a bigot for repeatedly misgendering the residents.
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Oct 21, 2016 15:09
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I, Robot A burgeoning AI-driven robot attempts to balance the everyday, yet severe, mentally damaging consequences of the future's psyche-altering porn and the average human's sexual frustration caused by irreparably perverse sexual and physical needs.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:21
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Animal Farm: 10,000 cows wait to be slaughtered in an automated factory to serve at mcdonalds.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:24
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Little House on the Prarie by Grover
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Oct 21, 2016 16:25
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War of the Worlds: A peaceful alien race makes contact with a warlike primitive culture who begin a secret government program to capture alien technology.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:27
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turbomoose posted:Little House on the Prarie Groverhouse of Leaves
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Oct 21, 2016 16:27
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Foundation Master psychologist Scott Adams sets a plan in motion to make the empire great again by destroying it.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:27
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turbomoose posted:Little House on the Prarie 
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Oct 21, 2016 16:28
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A Haunting at the House on the Hill A young bi girl gets triggered by a creepy elderly scientist.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:29
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The Illiad: A compilation of slam poems from the inner city
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Oct 21, 2016 16:31
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The Red Badge of Courage A drone operator has a tense moment where he's not sure if he'll get off work on time to pick up dinner.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:32
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The Wretched of the Earth: A book that provides a psychiatric and psychological analysis of the dehumanizing effects of goons.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:37
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Scarlet Letter : Prominent tumblr personality accidentally retweets something bigoted.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:38
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Steppenwolf A lifelong incel works on his great exhortation against the modern world, posting great volumes on Internet forums about how sensitive, nice guys are doomed to isolation. Through a chance meeting, he meets a blue haired woman playing Pokémon go, and through her he is introduced to the enriching world of anime fandom.
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Oct 21, 2016 16:39
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