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social vegan



Hello hello yes hi folks I can see most of you from here.

Great to be here, I uh flew in from Canada this morning and boy, are my legs well rested.

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social vegan



Black people sit a little something, like this.


White people also sit like this.

social vegan



A lot of my friends ask me, "hey, social vegan... do you remember what you were doing when 9/11 happened?"

Of course I do I was sitting down

FactsAreUseless

Really pushing the boundaries of what comedy can do by laying down in one of the aisles and talking very quietly to the woman in 11-F.

FactsAreUseless

[Costello moves Abbot's chair, causing him to fall to the floor. The band plays a musical sting, and the audience laughs.]

social vegan



a quick show of hands, how many of ya'll went to senior prom hahaha nice, wasn't it the worst? I wouldn't know I stayed home and sat the entire night

FutonForensic

the comedian walks out on stage smiling. his smile turns to rage when he sees the water bottle already occupying his stool. his stool. audience looks on in horror as a grown man pummels a bottle of aquafina


Luvcow

One day nearer spring

FutonForensic posted:

the comedian walks out on stage smiling. his smile turns to rage when he sees the water bottle already occupying his stool. his stool. audience looks on in horror as a grown man pummels a bottle of aquafina

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
I don't know who thought that sitting on a baby was comfortable or even ethical but apparently kids get paid a lot of money to do it these days. I guess it keeps the baby from wandering off? In my day we just put the baby in a crib.

FactsAreUseless

The comedian, enormous, sits in the town square. The children wreath him in ribbons and garlands. He's so happy to be here tonight. What a great town.

Later, he will say the catchphrase, you know the one, the one you like, and the town will be happy. At least for that night.

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
Really getting sick of seeing all these able bodied comics doing sit down routines and taking away jobs from wheel chair comics.

Luvcow

One day nearer spring

FactsAreUseless posted:

The comedian, enormous, sits in the town square. The children wreath him in ribbons and garlands. He's so happy to be here tonight. What a great town.

Later, he will say the catchphrase, you know the one, the one you like, and the town will be happy. At least for that night.

Luvcow

One day nearer spring
famous comedian quietly appears on stage, sits nervously on a chair, the audience goes wild with laughter.

he stands, the audience quiets to a few chuckles and quiet murmuring. slowly he creeps across the stage towards a smaller chair, then sits down. the audience erupts into uproarious laughter and guffaws, huge applause as the curtain closes.

social vegan



*comedian slowly removes sweatshirt, exposing his MY OTHER RIDE ALSO HAS A CHAIR shirt, waiting for laughs*

alnilam

Luvcow posted:

famous comedian quietly appears on stage, sits nervously on a chair, the audience goes wild with laughter.

he stands, the audience quiets to a few chuckles and quiet murmuring. slowly he creeps across the stage towards a smaller chair, then sits down. the audience erupts into uproarious laughter and guffaws, huge applause as the curtain closes.

social vegan



david blaine sits on a chair for 56 days in the middle of times square he stands slowly revealing there was never a chair there tobegin with

vanisher

Tickets are taken, people purchase their beverages and snacks, and make their way into the comedy club. As the time for the show approaches, slowly people make their way onto the stage. More and more people become increasingly packed together, the house, completely empty. The lights begin to dim and over the loudspeaker they introduce the comics for the evening. The crowd erupts in applause from the stage as the comics make their way from the back into the house, sitting at open tables.



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

Macnult

*turns chair around to face away from the audience*
"comedy is very therapeutic"

social vegan



*stands up, spins chair and sits on it backwards*

*the audience don't know whether to laugh or cry*

vanisher

When I take my kids to see folding chairs I expect a certain level of professionalism and respect, I'm not sure what kind of avant-garde cutting edge comedy this professional wrestling match is supposed to portray but it's in incredibly bad taste.



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

google THIS

extremely overweight gallagher's signature gag is sitting in a recliner and comically splattering the audience with mayonnaise and ketchup as he eats his lunch

Macnult

*stands up* "pee pee poo poo"
[audience boos]
*sits down on stage floor*
"poopy"
[audience roars with laughter]

FutonForensic

i walk out and see everyone in the audience sitting down. i cry, "everyone thinks they're a loving comedian!" i'm finished with show business


FactsAreUseless

"But doctor," says the clown. "I am Pagliacci!"

"You still need to get out of my chair," says the doctor.

vanisher

:nms:



Sig images courtesy of the talented Luvcow, Dumb Sex-Parrot, & Death Sext

Macnult

FactsAreUseless posted:

"But doctor," says the clown. "I am Pagliacci!"

"You still need to get out of my chair," says the doctor.

Piso Mojado

FactsAreUseless posted:

Really pushing the boundaries of what comedy can do by laying down in one of the aisles and talking very quietly to the woman in 11-F.

Twenty Four


A horse walks in to a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"

A guy drinking his beer does a spit take and breaks into a fit of laughter, not at the bartenders joke, but at the horses comical attempt to sit on a bar stool, which wasn't built to be used by horses at all.

FactsAreUseless

Ugh, toilet humor.

google THIS

a popular comedian scoots back out onto the stage for an encore after the audience gives him a sitting o

social vegan



google THIS posted:

a popular comedian scoots back out onto the stage for an encore after the audience gives him a sitting o

lol

social vegan



all the kids these days... getting into squatty potties, you guys heard about this?

Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
Andy Kaufmann pretending to not know how the chair works

FactsAreUseless

Two twin brothers performing on a teeter-totter.

Slush Garbo

FALSE SLACK
is
BETTER
than
NO SLACK
Lenny Bruce questionng the motives of the chair by acting as the chair using a stereotypical chair voice

wigglin

*Jerry is getting his 9th bowl of cornflakes and talking to Elaine*
J: And get this, he says he's a sit down comic.
E: A sit down comic?
J: A sit down comic! So I said, well that's how you mix business with pleasure.
E: And what did he say?
J: Well he didn't like that very much. Said I wasn't taking his art "seriously" enough.
E: You know, you should go to one of his shows.
*Kramer bursts through the window*
K: Hey Jerry, listen, you got any C batteries?

google THIS

a troupe of clowns ride around the center ring on miniature recumbent bicycles

Im Ready for DEATH

Everyone please take a seat. Hey wait! Bring those back! Those belong to the venue... oh jeez am *I* in trouble.

City of Glompton

The 'sit down comedian' movement rose in response to popularity of standing desks, as a way to differentiate true artists from office wisecrackers and wannabes.

City of Glompton fucked around with this message at 20:14 on Oct 25, 2016


thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

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Manifisto


"In America, comedian sits on chair," begins Yakov Smirnoff, world-famous sit down comedian, from his bar stool on stage. The crowd tenses with anticipation. They have an inkling of what might be coming next, but they cannot quite bring themselves to hope for something so brilliant, so audacious.

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