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when calling 911, be sure to be a little extra adventurous and not be boring on the phone. try exaggerating a bit to entertain the operator. they do this all day, so think of what you can do to keep them on the edge of their seat |
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Oct 29, 2016 06:55
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 18:46 |
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Ask the operator if they have an emergency, they'll be much more helpful to you if you show them a common courtesy that hardly anyone else does these days. |
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Oct 29, 2016 07:24
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Hello, I would like an extra-large deep-dish with sausage and double peppers. But that's not why I'm calling today. This is more about my house being on fire. |
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Oct 29, 2016 09:22
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| No you hang up first | |
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Oct 29, 2016 14:11
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operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency" me: "I will tell thee of my emergency if thou shalt answer these riddles, three" o: "Sir I don't have time for this, what is the nature of your emergency" me: "Ah anxious, aren't we. What has 2 legs in the morning, but only 1 leg in the afternoon" o: "Sir, I'm hanging up" me: "incorrect my fair lady, 'tis my uncle, there's been a horrible accident" |
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Oct 29, 2016 15:48
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social vegan posted:operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency" |
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Oct 29, 2016 16:04
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social vegan posted:operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency" |
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Oct 29, 2016 17:05
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social vegan posted:operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency"
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Oct 29, 2016 17:11
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911 operator: yes hello what is your emergency me: IN A WORLD *thumps hand on table* where ANYONE can be president *thunk* where people live in terror *cues mp3 of suspenseful film music* where there is sadness and loss *sniffling noises* sometimes love . . . finds a way *music resolves to major chord* and sometimes vegetables *music swells* find a way inside your butt and don't want to come out
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Oct 29, 2016 17:28
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lol @ all deez posts |
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Oct 29, 2016 18:19
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Manifisto posted:911 operator: yes hello what is your emergency lmbo |
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Oct 29, 2016 18:30
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social vegan posted:operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency" |
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Oct 29, 2016 19:12
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social vegan posted:operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency" ahahaha ---------------- |
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Oct 29, 2016 19:22
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social vegan posted:operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency" Lmao |
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Oct 29, 2016 21:02
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| If you call 911 and tell them you're having a Kentucky Mudslide they'll transfer you to an operator who knows about the secret special emergencies (Hurriquake, Firenami, Murder/Suicide etc) | |
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Oct 29, 2016 21:18
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Op: Hello, this is 911, what's your emergency? Me: I'd like to report a murder/suicide. Op: ... OK, is it a murder or a suicide? Me: It's both. Op: I'm going to have to ask you to slow down, ma'am. Me: First there was a murder, then the guy that did it committed suicide. Op: You have to call twice for that. |
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Oct 29, 2016 21:21
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me: Please send help! We've just been in a horrible car accident at 3rd and Vine! My wife's unconscious, my daughter is bleeding and her seat belt is stuck, and I think the other driver might be dead! operator: (long pause) Sorry what was the first thing again? me: My wife is unconscious! o: No, before that. me: It's...a car accident. At the intersection of 3rd Street and Vine. o: Ok, and what did you say happened to your wife? me: She's unconscious. o: And your children are what again? me: It's just one child. o: (sighs) Ok, hang on. (pause) So it's just one child, and she's not breathing? me: She's bleeding. She's conscious, but she's in a lot of pain and... o: Whoa, slow down. (pause) So it's one child, and you said she's bleeding but conscious? me: Yes! o: (pause) And this is at 3rd and Line? me: ...You know what, I'm just going to walk into an ER and tell them what I want. o: Have a nice day, sir! google THIS fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Oct 29, 2016 |
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Oct 29, 2016 21:35
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Manifisto posted:911 operator: yes hello what is your emergency Hahahaha |
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Oct 29, 2016 21:41
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911 Operator: Hello, what is you emergency? Caller: My car broke down in the middle of the woods! 911 Operator: Can you be abit more specific? Caller: No time, I have to burry the body before the cops find me!
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Oct 29, 2016 22:13
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<3 
<3 Vanisher
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social vegan posted:operator: "Hello this is 911 what is your emergency" Good. ---------------- |
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Oct 29, 2016 23:55
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this is a good thread but this post needs more love:Ride The Gravitron posted:No you hang up first
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Oct 29, 2016 23:57
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operator: 911 what is your emergency? me: hi mom, it's me o: what's the nature of your emergency? me: it's me, Danny. aren't you going to ask me how I'm doing? o: *sighs heavily* are you ok? what's your emergency? *whispers* you do realize I'm at work, right? me: I'm glad you asked mom, I'm not doing so well actually. I was kinda hoping you'd be able to lend me a little cash so I can pay rent and whatnot. o: I'm sorry sir but I think you have the wrong number. me: I promise I'll pay you back this time! o: *click*
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Oct 30, 2016 00:41
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Me: hello 911 id like to report a crime 911: hello yes this is 911 what is the crime Me: I had to pay $5 for a coke at the bar but a can of it only costs $1 at the vending machine across the street and the door person won't let me go and get a can and bring it in unopened they would rather me pay 5 times more for a cup that's roughly two thirds the size of the can, but not only that it is the fountain kind and I suspect it's not only watered down but they also put in enough ice to fill about half the cup so the amount of actual cola is in the cup is roughly equivalent to maybe at most a third of a can of coke - I would measure it out but I lack the proper equipment to accurately measure the amounts as, again, the door person would not let me bring in my backpack where I keep an assortment of tools and devices that allow me to measure things like the volume of actual cola I received in the beverage I paid $5 for at the bar tonight - so assuming that I'm paying for a third of a can of coke for $5 that makes the mark-up close to 15 times more which is in my opinion at least either very criminal in nature or at least very amoral and that I think it should be illegal to overcharge me that much for a cola just because I don't like how alcohol makes me feel and the only reason I'm here is because my roommate was concerned with the fact that I haven't left the house in several weeks and he thought I would enjoy spending some time out of the house which I am not at all I would much prefer to be at home so maybe you should arrest him as well for being very very wrong and putting me in this vulnerable position where I am not literally but very much in the spirit of being robbed by having to pay so much more for so little cola. |
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Oct 30, 2016 03:00
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Hello, I would like to report a crime. It's a crime that a sweet girl like you is stuck working a job like this, ha ha! also I murdered my neighbor. |
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Oct 30, 2016 06:51
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911 operator: what is the nature of your emergency? me: is that important? o: what kind of question is that? me: what kind of question do you think it is? o: sir, are you just wasting my time? me: what isn't a waste of time? o: why are you so cynical? me: is there anything truly genuine in our society? o: you really believe that, do you? me: I think that's a rhetorical question o: gently caress me: what if I told you my house was on fire? o: *hangs up* |
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Oct 30, 2016 16:08
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immediately hand the phone to your dog, cat, bird, or whatever because everyone loves a heroic tale of pets calling 911 if you don't have a pet 
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Oct 30, 2016 16:14
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albany academy posted:Me: hello 911 id like to report a crime 911: Hold tight, sir, we're sending someone as fast as we can |
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Oct 30, 2016 16:16
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me: HELLO 911 PLEASE HELP o: What is the nature of your emerg.. me: OH GOD MY CAR'S WINDOWS WON"T ROLL DOWN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO ORDER TACO BELL NOW! o: Sir have you tried going inside the building? me: What is this communist North Korea!? We don't have to go inside to order food in America. o: Have you checked the lock windows button? me: *fumbling noises* <Click!>
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Oct 30, 2016 16:42
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Hello, 911 emergency, please hold *hold music is public enemy's '911 is a joke'* |
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Oct 30, 2016 16:52
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Pro tip: If you need to you can call 999 instead and get someone from Europe and make them fly out to the States to help you.
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Oct 30, 2016 16:55
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alnilam posted:Hello, 911 emergency, please hold ---------------- |
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Oct 30, 2016 16:58
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alnilam posted:Hello, 911 emergency, please hold |
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Oct 30, 2016 21:11
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This isn't a largely known fact so keep in mind who you share it with, but if you dial 911 upside down (116) you become a 911 operator.. forever.
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Oct 30, 2016 21:26
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911 operator: 911, what is the nature of your emergency? me: well you see...uh o: sir please state the nature of your emergency me: ahhh well....no, no nevermind don't worry about it o: sir are you okay? me: I'm fine. o: sir don't be like this me: I said I'm fine god. o: sir please don't embarrass me in front of my operator friends |
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Oct 30, 2016 21:44
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"911, what's your emergency?" "Soooo whats are you wearing?  "
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Nov 2, 2016 17:43
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always be polite in case you end up on the phone with a cute girl cop. even if it's s boy cop be nice because maybe he'll have a cute sister he can introduce you to
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Nov 2, 2016 17:50
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911: Nine one one, what's your emergency? Me: I forgot 911: 
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Nov 2, 2016 17:53
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halloween might seem like a good opportunity to meet the 'slutty cop girl' but i find the 911 operator girls are more 'experienced'
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Nov 2, 2016 18:01
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sure you can go fumbling around with a girl who's gonna drunkenly lose the keys to her handcuffs but i prefer a real woman who really knows how to talk me through a major crisis if you know what i mean
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Nov 2, 2016 18:04
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 18:46 |
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I like to call 911 at least once a day just to tell the operators that I appreciate what they do and to keep up the good work. This always seems to make them angry so I can only assume they don't hear it enough so I've resolved to call them more often so I can help them feel better about themselves.
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Nov 2, 2016 18:08
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