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ComradeCosmobot
Dec 4, 2004

USPOL July
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uw3yidwGchk

A cancer is eating away at America: the cancer of racism, bigotry and white nationalism. As this cancer consumed the previous USPOL, so it shall begin to consume this one. Fortunately, we are only days away from either curing it, or seeing it metastasize out of control.

Oh who are we kidding, it’s going to kill us whether we vote Hillary or not. Better buckle up and strap in tight to your front-row seat to watch as the whole nation self-destructs in an orgy of violence and bloodshed. This is USPOL November 2016: Trump Death Rally Edition








(by Tony Cliff)

Some Ground Rules

Because you guys don’t read the OP, I’m just going to do due diligence and post some of this stuff here, because it’s going to be important over the next few days:



  • Don’t post pictures of your ballot unless you live in an orange state. It’s illegal.
  • Don’t start an election day thread. You should probably take election chat to C-SPAM. (This one comes direct from the mods.)
  • Please don’t use “the blacks" when referring to African Americans and other individuals of African descent. It can come off as callous and insensitive thanks to its racially-tinged history. “Black people" is better (especially if you're talking about members of the African diaspora outside the US).
  • And don’t even think about using “Chinamen,” because apparently there are still people who use this unironically. :wtc:
  • Do drink responsibly. While a Republican-held Senate is pretty bad, you don’t need to get cirrhosis of the liver because of it. After all, where will you go once Obamacare is repealed once and for all? No hospital would take you.








(by leviathan77)

A Short FAQ

Oh, and by the way, before we get to the good stuff, there have been a number of new people posting in USPOL over the past few months, so I feel it’s necessary to preemptively answer some common questions.

  • :derp: Arzying :derp: is a USPOL term for being a “negative Nancy” and panicking over every piece of "bad news" for your candidate (even if there's far more good news). The typical response to someone Arzying over Hillary is "post your map," a reference to the fact that the Electoral College is currently far more likely to favor Hillary, even if the popular vote is close to a tie. The term is named for former D&D poster Arzy, who freaked out at every little piece of bad news for Obama during the 2008 election. He later went all in for Romney in 2012 and is due to be unprobated in time for the 2024 elections.
  • A corncob is a person who has been completely and utterly owned and denies the self-evident fact that they have been. @dril is an Internet treasure for inadvertently coining this term.

    https://twitter.com/dril/status/134787490526658561








(by Jeff Victor)

The Story So Far

  • November 2015: Trump proposes banning Muslims from the USA after the Paris attacks. Hillary fails to invent a time machine, thus ensuring that Jeb fails to kill Baby Hitler and leading to the death of millions.
  • December 2015: Trump proposes killing families of terrorists. Hillary attempts to force Martin Shkreli to reveal the Wu Tang Secret.
  • January 2016: Trump wins Iowa. Hillary e-mails top-secret information to herself as a get-out-of-jail-free card in case someone threatens to make her president.
  • February 2016: Trump pushes Jeb out of the race. Hillary smothers Scalia to death.
  • March 2016: Trump vows to punish women who seek abortions. Marco Rubio wins a single state. Hillary Clinton promises to strictly control Americans' bedtimes.
  • April 2016: Trump mathematically eliminates Ted Cruz from the race, locking up the nomination. Hillary beats an old man senseless.
  • May 2016: Trump takes a portrait of himself with a taco bowl, securing the Hispanic vote. The State Department writes an angry e-mail to Hillary that gets lost in her spam filter.
  • June 2016: Trump hires a new campaign manager and tells a Hispanic judge to suck it, securing the Hispanic vote. The Clinton White House is revealed to have been a den of cocaine and mistresses.
  • July 2016: Trump reveals how scary an America that hates gold star parents really is. Arzying begins in earnest as the DNC has Berniebro protests all week.
  • August 2016: Trump hires a new campaign manager and rights the ship as he prepares plans for a hit television network. The AP reveals how the Clinton Foundation is actually a tool for corruption.
  • September 2016: Trump totally wins the first debate, according to online polls. Hillary literally dies on 9/11.
  • October 2016: Trump totally wins the second and third debates, according to online polls. Especially with women. Hillary dies again when an e-mail virus turns deadly at the end of the month.
  • November 2016: Hillary wins the election???









(by Matt Bors)

114th Congress Bingo Card

Congress was off all last month to campaign, so nothing to see here.








(by Dana Summers)

Other News






Talk to other goons (why would you want to do that?)
Remember that we have an IRC channel at synirc in #poligoon for livesteaming stuff.

Goon Recommendations
Documentaries

Talks

Long pieces

Books

Twitter feeds

  • @costareports (Robert Costa, Washington Post, formerly National Review): Conservative-leaning journalist to whom Republican sources often leak backroom stories (Republican retreats, Presidential campaigns, etc.)
  • @JohnJHarwood (John Harwood, CNBC, New York Times): Has a lot of sources in the Republican Party and was the first to report on Paul Manafort leaving the Trump campaign in August 2016.
  • @daveweigel (Dave Weigel, Bloomberg Politics, formerly Slate): "Idiosyncratic libertarian" journalist who is second only to Robert Costa in connections/interviews with Republican officials. Contrary to popular belief, not D&D superstar Joementum.
  • @BruceBartlett (Bruce Bartlett, ex-Reagan/Bush official): "Lifelong conservative who now thinks the GOP panders to fools, whom he calls wankers. My tweets should not always be taken seriously."
  • The following are semi-random selections from a list offered by Rygar201 and may be good or bad.
    • @owillis (Olivier Willis, research fellow, Media Matters)
    • @mattyglesias (Matt Yglesias, executive editor, Vox)
    • @JuddLegum (Judd Legum, Editor-in-Chief, Think Progress)
    • @dick_nixon "37th President of the United States. Messages from the President are unsigned, others from Ronald Ziegler. "
    • @EricBoehlert (Eric Boehlert, Media Matters)
    • @JamilSmith (Jamil Smith, senior editor, The New Republic)
    • @jonathanchait (Jonathan Chait, New York Magazine)
    • @nielslesniewski (Neils Lesniewski, Senate coverage, Roll Call)
    • @abwhite7 (Abraham White, former comms for Sen. Tom Harkin (D-IA), Chuck Schumer (D-NY))
    • @DSenFloor (Senate D Floor Watch): "Live floor updates from the Senate Democrats"
    • @billmon1 (Billmon)
    • @ebruenig (Elizabeth Bruenig, The New Republic)

Related threads
"US Politics" is an incredibly broad topic, as A) the country is freaking huge and B) given our role in international events pretty much everything impacts us. So there are other subthreads
SCOTUS thread
Right Wing Media

There are also regional subthreads that are usually pretty slow, but sometimes cross-pollinate with this thread when something important is happening.
Pacific Northwest
Illinois
Texas
California
Kansas

Lifted the rest of the above from FriedChicken. As before post suggestions for adding to the above and I'll edit them in if I see them.

And remember folks, drink chat goes in D&D chat thread. Drink responsibly. Your liver will thank you.



(by Andy Marlette, Mike Luckovich)

ComradeCosmobot fucked around with this message at 08:03 on Nov 1, 2016

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H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde
what's arzying mean i hear that term a lot

Islam is the Lite Rock FM
Jul 27, 2007

by exmarx
Hail Satan!

boner confessor
Apr 25, 2013

by R. Guyovich
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oI18Z1CzWmI

1337JiveTurkey
Feb 17, 2005

Last thread before the radioactive wasteland that used to be the United States politics thread!

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
That god this cursed thing is almost done.

Casimir Radon
Aug 2, 2008


The nightmare is over in a week.

FuturePastNow
May 19, 2014


it's almost over

then it begins anew

A Fancy 400 lbs
Jul 24, 2008
I'm using wifi to read this thread on my cell phone, am I gonna get brain cancer?

ComradeCosmobot
Dec 4, 2004

USPOL July

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

what's arzying mean i hear that term a lot

thanks for asking

it means being a cool dude (edit: or dudette) and kicking back to smoke some weed and listen to jazz

HookedOnChthonics
Dec 5, 2015

Profoundly dull


Just filled out my ballot :coal:

Voted for some tracks on tracks on tracks (of rail line extension :unsmith:)

The thread title ‼️‼️

Harik
Sep 9, 2001

From the hard streets of Moscow
First dog to touch the stars


Plaster Town Cop
Oh man, the "But WiFi might actually be bad, you guys" Stein defender escaped their dogpile by the bell.

Appreciate the thread title, I've been hoping that's what this clusterfuck would end on.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

A Fancy 400 lbs posted:

I'm using wifi to read this thread on my cell phone, am I gonna get brain cancer?

I mean really the firestorm is what's gonna kill most of us so you probably shouldn't worry too much.

BGrifter
Mar 16, 2007

Winner of Something Awful PS5 thread's Posting Excellence Award June 2022

Congratulations!
What a magical world we live in. This was a Halloween we'll never forget.

Calef
Aug 21, 2007

Any time I get stressed out for the next week, I'm just going to pull up PEC and stare at the 99% at the top.

Islam is the Lite Rock FM
Jul 27, 2007

by exmarx

Harik posted:

Oh man, the "But WiFi might actually be bad, you guys" Stein defender escaped their dogpile by the bell.

Appreciate the thread title, I've been hoping that's what this clusterfuck would end on.

Hopefully they come back like measles did. Except without the suffering.

pancake rabbit
Feb 21, 2011




I've been reading the monthly incarnations of this thread since January or so. I've only posted a few times here and there, mostly in the last 2 months.

My one wish, through all of this, was that we would finally get this thread title.

Thank you.

Majorian
Jul 1, 2009

Inverted Offensive Battle: Acupuncture Attacks Convert To 3D Penetration Tactics Taking Advantage of Deep Battle Opportunities

1337JiveTurkey posted:

Last thread before the radioactive wasteland that used to be the United States politics thread!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IVXJmfd3cmg

edit for content - Obama was on Sam Bee's show today, and predicted some of the sexist poo poo the Right is going to say about HIllary day after day after she's elected. And I was like, "...oh yeah, they will, won't they?:smith:"

Majorian fucked around with this message at 08:08 on Nov 1, 2016

Tiny Brontosaurus
Aug 1, 2013

by Lowtax
That's a real good OP, Comrade. I voted like a week ago so I am extremely ready for the election to be done.

freckle
Apr 6, 2016

by Nyc_Tattoo

Bip Roberts posted:

That god this cursed thing is almost done.

Casimir Radon posted:

The nightmare is over in a week.

:lol:

The only end is death.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Ahhh man, and here we go. It's a crazy time.

Canine Blues Arooo
Jan 7, 2008

when you think about it...i'm the first girl you ever spent the night with

Grimey Drawer
I'd like to hear more from Mixodorian about how Wi-Fi somehow might sorta cause cancer but we don't know but it probably does.

1337JiveTurkey
Feb 17, 2005

Supplemental media for the note in the OP about Chinamen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LslnDx16-Ik

StrixNebulosa
Feb 14, 2012

You cheated not only the game, but yourself.
But most of all, you cheated BABA

Somehow my class lined up a test to be due on the 8th, which is fan-tastic.

I'm ready for this election to be over, though. I know it's in the bag for Hillary but I'm just really ready to stop hearing about Trump.

Luna Was Here
Mar 21, 2013

Lipstick Apathy
we're almost free

Mixodorian
Jan 26, 2009
I had a fully quoted and well organized post ready in the last thread, but you can't fight the calendar. To make it brief to the several people who didn't want to hear what I was saying.

-I realize I got dogpiled specifically for the wifi, and I rolled my eyes when I heard Jill Stein say what she did about wi-fi. I am more of a person who would want proof there is harm instead of giving equal weight to "maybe it's harmful, maybe it's not", but the health implications of wi-fi are still not well known enough to conclusively say it is safe or it is not safe (for children, in this example).

On top of that, it is such a small grievance to have with a politician. Beyond voting for the Iraq War with Dick Cheney as VP, Hillary also completely ignored stop and frisk while she was senator which is irksome to me as a black New Yorker who did go to jail for possessing buds, as well as her trying to make flag burning illegal. Those are far, far more odious to me than being afraid the babies will get sick off the wi-fi.

I got asked if I was worried about fluoride and cell phone signals and no, I'm not. There is irrefutable evidence about the safety of both. There is not the same for wi-fi, as the lengthy research from last year I linked to shows.

All of you further proved my point. Hillary is who we need to go with for our next president, it's too late to change that. It isn't even a question to me.

I just have my problems with people not wanting to hear someone who keeps up with politics say they'd prefer Jill Stein. She throws a bone to the nutty constituents of the green party...

... but I'll be frank. That type of thing doesn't bother me. My people were subject to the Tuskgee experiments in the not too distant past.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!





I feel kind of weird because this election has gone eerily like I thought it would, and at this point my only real concern is "can we get the Senate?" I figure it's gonna happen but it is kind of a thing to sweat at this point!

Majorian
Jul 1, 2009

Inverted Offensive Battle: Acupuncture Attacks Convert To 3D Penetration Tactics Taking Advantage of Deep Battle Opportunities

StrixNebulosa posted:

Somehow my class lined up a test to be due on the 8th, which is fan-tastic.

I'm ready for this election to be over, though. I know it's in the bag for Hillary but I'm just really ready to stop hearing about Trump.

I wonder who gets to be the lucky sap who tells him that all his yes-men were wrong - he actually lost.:laugh:

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Majorian posted:

I wonder who gets to be the lucky sap who tells him that all his yes-men were wrong - he actually lost.:laugh:
Vladimir Putin

Tiny Brontosaurus
Aug 1, 2013

by Lowtax
Reposting a neat thing I found about how the handoff of all the POTUS social media accounts will work.

Digital Transition

quote:

On Twitter, for example, the handle @POTUS will be made available to the 45th President of the United States on January 20, 2017. The account will retain its more than 11 million followers, but start with no tweets on the timeline. @POTUS44, a newly created handle maintained by NARA, will contain all of President Obama’s tweets and will be accessible to the public on Twitter as an archive of President Obama’s use of the account. In addition, President Obama’s tweets will also be archived at NARA, where they will be preserved and accessible in the same manner as all other Presidential records. This will also be the case for other Twitter handles, including @WhiteHouse, @FLOTUS, @PressSec, and @VP. Individual official accounts, like @KS44, will transition to NARA and continue to be accessible for the public to view as an archive of all tweets sent by White House staff.

On Instagram and Facebook, the incoming White House will gain access to the White House username, URL, and retain the followers, but will start with no content on the timeline. An archive of White House content that was posted to the Obama White House Instagram and Facebook will continue to be accessible to the public at Instagram.com/ObamaWhiteHouse and Facebook.com/ObamaWhiteHouse. Facebook accounts for President Obama and the Vice President and the Instagram accounts belonging to the First Lady and Vice President will be moved to new “44” usernames and preserved by NARA.

We’ll follow a similar approach with other official accounts on platforms including Medium, Tumblr, and YouTube. These presences will be made available to the 45th White House, including the “White House” username, /WhiteHouse URL, and the followers, but start with no content on the accounts. The Obama White House content will be preserved and accessible in the same manner as all other presidential records and continue to be available on the platform at a new URL.

And this immortal moment in time:

Majorian
Jul 1, 2009

Inverted Offensive Battle: Acupuncture Attacks Convert To 3D Penetration Tactics Taking Advantage of Deep Battle Opportunities

Nessus posted:

Vladimir Putin

Please. You think Putin would stoop to talking directly to an asset that has failed him so drastically?:commissar:

BaDandy
Apr 3, 2013

"This taste...

is the taste of a liar!"
Yo where did that dude go, I was gonna hand them a handy-dandy thing that might explain the magic of wi-fi, it's a little thing we all like the call the Electromagnetic Spectrum.

e: Oh there you are.

Long story short: it's radio waves, dude.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

Mixodorian posted:

I had a fully quoted and well organized post ready in the last thread, but you can't fight the calendar. To make it brief to the several people who didn't want to hear what I was saying.

-I realize I got dogpiled specifically for the wifi, and I rolled my eyes when I heard Jill Stein say what she did about wi-fi. I am more of a person who would want proof there is harm instead of giving equal weight to "maybe it's harmful, maybe it's not", but the health implications of wi-fi are still not well known enough to conclusively say it is safe or it is not safe (for children, in this example).

On top of that, it is such a small grievance to have with a politician. Beyond voting for the Iraq War with Dick Cheney as VP, Hillary also completely ignored stop and frisk while she was senator which is irksome to me as a black New Yorker who did go to jail for possessing buds, as well as her trying to make flag burning illegal. Those are far, far more odious to me than being afraid the babies will get sick off the wi-fi.

I got asked if I was worried about fluoride and cell phone signals and no, I'm not. There is irrefutable evidence about the safety of both. There is not the same for wi-fi, as the lengthy research from last year I linked to shows.

All of you further proved my point. Hillary is who we need to go with for our next president, it's too late to change that. It isn't even a question to me.

I just have my problems with people not wanting to hear someone who keeps up with politics say they'd prefer Jill Stein. She throws a bone to the nutty constituents of the green party...

... but I'll be frank. That type of thing doesn't bother me. My people were subject to the Tuskgee experiments in the not too distant past.

WIFI doesn't cause cancer moron.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



Majorian posted:

Please. You think Putin would stoop to talking directly to an asset that has failed him so drastically?:commissar:
He will send Trump a message in the language of flowers

Polonium is a flower, right

Sulphagnist
Oct 10, 2006

WARNING! INTRUDERS DETECTED

1337JiveTurkey posted:

Supplemental media for the note in the OP about Chinamen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LslnDx16-Ik

Oh dear. I think you meant to say "Celestials."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElAcu-1dlPM

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde

BaDandy posted:

Yo where did that dude go, I was gonna hand them a handy-dandy thing that might explain the magic of wi-fi, it's a little thing we all like the call the Electromagnetic Spectrum.

fuckin magnets

how do they work

Peztopiary
Mar 16, 2009

by exmarx
None of you ever listen, but we're six days away from the loop kicking in.

bhsman
Feb 10, 2008

by exmarx

Tiny Brontosaurus posted:

That's a real good OP, Comrade. I voted like a week ago so I am extremely ready for the election to be done.

I'm curious to know which goons have already voted or if anyone prefers going on Election Day for the spectacle/tradition.

Majorian
Jul 1, 2009

Inverted Offensive Battle: Acupuncture Attacks Convert To 3D Penetration Tactics Taking Advantage of Deep Battle Opportunities

Nessus posted:

He will send Trump a message in the language of flowers

Polonium is a flower, right

It can made to be among flowers, certainly.

bhsman posted:

I'm curious to know which goons have already voted or if anyone prefers going on Election Day for the spectacle/tradition.

I have my mail-in ballot on the table; need to buckle down and loving do it. Way too many CA propositions this year, which is annoying.

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Space Cadet Omoly
Jan 15, 2014

~Groovy~


Luna Was Here posted:

we're almost free

No, we will never be free.

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