I was cleaning out my fridge and I found an onion that had sprouted.

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drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I'm regretful I didn't find it before it died as planting in a planter on my porch would have been fun.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:27

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:13

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I'm also starting to think I should clean my fridge out more often but on the other hand I would have never have learned that onions can sprout in you fridge if I had.

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# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:28

symbolic

if you eat it, you might gain the power to speak to the onion people

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:30

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

To late it's in the dumpster, and I'm not the kind of goon who likes eating food from the garbage, sadly.

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# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:33

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I'm trying to think how I didn't notice an onion trying to survive in my crisping drawer and the only thing I can come up with is I make poor nutritional choices.

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# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:36

symbolic

drilldo squirt posted:

To late it's in the dumpster, and I'm not the kind of goon who likes eating food from the garbage, sadly.

Confucius say man who eat onion in dumpster cries over spoiled milk

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:36

City of Glompton

that's a shame, onions make nice flowers. too bad bloomin onions look nothing like them but by now I'm used to restaurant food never looking like what I expect

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:37

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

symbolic posted:

Confucius say man who eat onion in dumpster cries over spoiled milk

It's because he drank the milk and is in incredible pain.

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# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:42

social vegan

it was going for a real slow low five

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:51

symbolic

drilldo squirt posted:

It's because he drank the milk and is in incredible pain.

Confucius say ancient Jackass much more tame

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:54

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

Sprout nine more onions and file for farm subsidies

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:55

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

Today's young, hip city farmers grow their produce in the fridge

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:55

mags: I am a congenital optimist.

Crop failures due to a burnt out fridge bulb

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:56

MrWillsauce

crying will help relieve you of your grief. But it would be a lot easier to cry if you could cut that onion. It seems as though fate itself is mocking you with this tragedy. No one knows why onions enter our lives or why they leave when they do. It's just part of this great cruel mystery we call the human experiment. All we can say for certain is that onions are delicious as gently caress.

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:56

Moola

# ? Nov 2, 2016 00:57

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I can't believe bananas have been fetal ducks this whole time.

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# ? Nov 2, 2016 01:05

MrWillsauce

me neither

# ? Nov 2, 2016 01:06

Goons Are Gifts

From some perspective you were the dad of that onion, you should treat it with more respect and teach it how to be a strong, smart onion in dumpster school

# ? Nov 2, 2016 02:33

Moola

drilldo squirt posted:

I can't believe bananas have been fetal ducks this whole time.

bananas and ducks are mysterious creatures

# ? Nov 2, 2016 14:00

Instruction Manuel: Yes, it is what it looks like!

drilldo squirt posted:

To late it's in the dumpster, and I'm not the kind of goon who likes eating food from the garbage, sadly.

You're missing out :byobear:

# ? Nov 2, 2016 16:04

DOPE FIEND KILLA G

one day you might walk out, not expecting anything spectacular, and see the onion sprouting a great big vine out of the dumpster. as if to let you know it's all going to be fine. it'll be ok. because then it's not just an onion�but a symbol of hope that maybe life really can thrive even amongst the decay of our urban sprawl

or maybe they'll pick up your trash before then, who knows

# ? Nov 2, 2016 16:34

Moola

DOPE FIEND KILLA G posted:

one day you might walk out, not expecting anything spectacular, and see the onion sprouting a great big vine out of the dumpster. as if to let you know it's all going to be fine. it'll be ok. because then it's not just an onion�but a symbol of hope that maybe life really can thrive even amongst the decay of our urban sprawl

or maybe they'll pick up your trash before then, who knows

someone should tell the onion Vine is getting shut down and to switch to another service

# ? Nov 2, 2016 16:37

Manifisto

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DYTRknCmyio&t=8s

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Nov 2, 2016 16:54

Senior Management

I am going to sneak into Drilldo Squirt's home and fill his fridge with onions seeing as November is Drilldo Squirt Awareness Month.

:jerry:

# ? Nov 3, 2016 19:39

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

Vynar posted:

I am going to sneak into Drilldo Squirt's home and fill his fridge with onions seeing as November is Drilldo Squirt Awareness Month.

It's actually drilldo squirt apreciation month but a constant awareness of me is a good start.

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# ? Nov 3, 2016 21:09

Senior Management

drilldo squirt posted:

It's actually drilldo squirt apreciation[sic] month but a constant awareness of me is a good start.

I thought March was appreciation month and November was for awareness so that they have some time to prepare the March celebrations?

:jerry:

# ? Nov 3, 2016 21:51

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

March is drilldo squirt apreciation month.

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# ? Nov 3, 2016 22:06

joke_explainer

One morning, when drilldo squirt woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a sprouted onion. He lay on his layered back, and if he lifted his green sprout a little he could see his yellow skin, domed and divided by leaves into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His paper-thin skin, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of him, looked liable to fall off at any moment.

# ? Nov 3, 2016 22:59

Gatekeeper: He was warrior and mystic, ogre and saint, the fox and the innocent, chivalrous, ruthless, less than a god, more than a man.

i understand how it could happen, i left some bread in my lazy susan for a while and it sprouted mice, and i left a burger outside after a BBQ and it sprouted lil baby flies. and once i had a potato in my potato drawer and it sprouted eyes and a silly big nose and a mouth and ears and a hat and lil arms and shoes and don rickles' personality

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:22

Manifisto

joke_explainer posted:

One morning, when drilldo squirt woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a sprouted onion. He lay on his layered back, and if he lifted his green sprout a little he could see his yellow skin, domed and divided by leaves into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His paper-thin skin, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of him, looked liable to fall off at any moment.

Gatekeeper posted:

i understand how it could happen, i left some bread in my lazy susan for a while and it sprouted mice, and i left a burger outside after a BBQ and it sprouted lil baby flies. and once i had a potato in my potato drawer and it sprouted eyes and a silly big nose and a mouth and ears and a hat and lil arms and shoes and don rickles' personality

lol

# ? Nov 3, 2016 23:48

drilldo squirt: a beautiful, soft meat sack

I don't think you are supposed to put potatoes in the fridge and I'm pretty sure having a whole drawer for them is a little excessive.

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# ? Nov 4, 2016 00:04

Historical Wizards

Gatekeeper posted:

i understand how it could happen, i left some bread in my lazy susan for a while and it sprouted mice, and i left a burger outside after a BBQ and it sprouted lil baby flies. and once i had a potato in my potato drawer and it sprouted eyes and a silly big nose and a mouth and ears and a hat and lil arms and shoes and don rickles' personality

Many thanks Social Vegan for the wonderful av, and Fanky Malloons for the sig

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:13

Senior Management

Do yams go in the fridge?

:jerry:

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:19

big black turnout

Gatekeeper posted:

i understand how it could happen, i left some bread in my lazy susan for a while and it sprouted mice, and i left a burger outside after a BBQ and it sprouted lil baby flies. and once i had a potato in my potato drawer and it sprouted eyes and a silly big nose and a mouth and ears and a hat and lil arms and shoes and don rickles' personality

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:22

big black turnout

also you should take a paper bag, poke some holes in it, and put it in a cabinet with your onions in it. ditto for garlic

# ? Nov 4, 2016 02:23

symbolic

joke_explainer posted:

One morning, when drilldo squirt woke from troubled dreams, he found himself transformed in his bed into a sprouted onion. He lay on his layered back, and if he lifted his green sprout a little he could see his yellow skin, domed and divided by leaves into stiff sections. The bedding was hardly able to cover it and seemed ready to slide off any moment. His paper-thin skin, pitifully thin in comparison to the rest of him, looked liable to fall off at any moment.

# ? Nov 4, 2016 05:43

Instruction Manuel: Yes, it is what it looks like!

drilldo squirt posted:

I don't think you are supposed to put potatoes in the fridge and I'm pretty sure having a whole drawer for them is a little excessive.

Well what ARE you supposed to put in the drawer that is clearly marked "POTATOES"?

# ? Nov 4, 2016 06:05

Quidthulhu: Stand down, men! It's only smooching!

on a cursory glance i read this as "i found a hand that had sprouted" and i was like "OH poo poo THIS IS GOING TO BE A THREAD"

the science of plants is cool too but maybe not as cool as a sentient elder god hand from your ancient meatloaf or whatever

# ? Nov 4, 2016 06:21

Senior Management

Wamdoodle posted:

Well what ARE you supposed to put in the drawer that is clearly marked "POTATOES"?

When I bought my fridge pretty much every inch of the inside was labeled "POTATOES" in some weird red substance. I don't get modern design. But the police must have loved the drat thing's mise en scene because they kept trying to take it from me. Over my cold dead body fuckos! Do you expect me to keep my potatoes at room temperature like a drat barbarian? I thought this was America.

:jerry:

# ? Nov 4, 2016 09:56

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# ? Apr 25, 2024 14:13

Manifisto

[catches slight of reflection in mirror]

SEOTATOP

:supaburn:

# ? Nov 4, 2016 14:37

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > I was cleaning out my fridge and I found an onion that had sprouted.

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