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Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.


Observe my loving couch.



It has a terrible design flaw, can you see it?

Here I'll help, the backrests are free-floating, modular backrests that are unsecured. When my partner first fell in love with this couch I warned them of this problem but they assured me the cushions would be heavy enough to support a person's weight.

Spoilers, they were not. You cannot lean back on our couch without the loving cushions sliding off. It really sucks.

Technically we could return the couch and purchase another couch with functional and supportive backrests but my partner would prefer we fix the problem instead because they really like the couch and it really suits our home.

Their suggestion was to purchase thick strips of strong velcro and use it to secure the cushions to the couch.

So I have a few questions for you goons who might know how to handle this.
1. Will that even loving work? Is there velcro that strong? If so, where would/could I get it?
2. Is there a better, more viable, less work intensive way to fix this? If so, please inform me of it.
3. If Operation Velcro really is the best option how do I go about doing it without wanting to kill myself?

The backrest cushions have zippers on them so they could be removed. We could probably use chalk or something to mark where we want to put the velcro then remove the upholstery and use a sewing machine to attach the velcro strips. (Check out the picture below!)



But the couch cushions appear to be stapled and secured to the couch and there does not appear to be a way to remove the upholstery to machine sew on velcro that would not gently caress up everything (ruin the couch) and be a huge nightmare. Which means we would have to hand sew on the strips of velcro onto the cushions which seems like a whole gently caress ton of work and oh god kill me now. (No picture provided, let me know if you want one.)

Is there a better option? Save me, goons!

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Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.


Six-Of-Hearts posted:

Put it against a wall.

Can't put it against the wall because of the room layout. It looks best where it is.

Just got in a huge stupid argument with my partner about building a wall (:trump:) or replacing the couch (they say building the wall would be expensive and impossible since Mexico won't pay for it and they love the couch and want to keep the couch and don't want to go through the trouble of finding a new couch or getting rid of/returning the old one.) tbh it became an embarrassingly heated argument over something pretty loving stupid imo and I refuse to ruin this relationship over a loving obnoxious couch so I'm just going to drop it.

Thanks anyway, guys. I really do appreciate it.

gently caress this couch though.

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

Pet that cat.

Terrible Robot posted:

And pet that cat.

Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.


Slugworth posted:

On the one hand, they failed to build the wall, but on the other hand, they *did* grab a pussy.

:v:

BigTeaBag posted:

If you're interested, it looks very similar to the Case Study Daybed by Modernica. It is available in sections and can be made pretty modularly.

This one? looks like the seats are still free-floating? Do you mean another one? If not it seems like we'd have the same problems. I'll browse around though.

This one might have supports but I can't find a picture of the back to see if the other cushions are supported.

But this is a lovely couch and does look a lot like our current problem couch.

devicenull posted:

Would something like this give them enough grip to not slide off? https://www.amazon.com/Optimum-Technologies-Gripper-Runners-25-Feet/dp/B000209YT6

Maybe? I'm not sure.

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

Pictured: Your loving couch


1. Find wood and stain it the same color as your loving couch's legs
2. Find screws
3. Combine
4. Add vertical supports as needed
5. Find a lover with better taste in furniture.
6. Learn from this life lesson

This... might actually work. I'm not sure if our couch has secure stuff within it that we could drill into. I just felt at it and it and can't discern one way or the other. It feels firm but not solid. I'm not sure how to check if my couch has the internal solidness to make this improvement. But if it does and I can figure that out I can probably do this.

Things are still very tense so I'm going to let it rest for awhile until we're done going to the wedding we've been invited to and finished with Thanksgiving.

But I will update this thread when things have calmed down.

If you can tell me how to discern if there is a solid part in this couch to drill into that would be helpful.

Thank you so much, seriously!

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

E: Pet that loving catte.



Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.


I was looking at some low bookcases and such today but I think they'd take up too much space behind the loving couch.

Driving rebar into the partner is definitely an option though. But it doesn't fix the couch.

Seat Safety Switch posted:

Would snap buttons work? There's not a lot of structure in the cushions unless you add a backing plate but I bet that'd be enough.

Just have to keep it from tearing.

I have never heard of snap buttons before and did some Googling and what I see does not look particularly secure? Is there a specific type that is good for weight?

Six-Of-Hearts posted:

From now on, OP, when you go on a second date with someone, figure out a way to casually stroll past or around someplace that sells couches. Point to one and say "goodness me, i just can't decide if i like that or not. What do you think?"
If they suggest something hideous, they're at best a one night stand.
Probably not on the loving couch you have though, cuz no one would want to gently caress on that abomination.
Pet your catte.

I always pet my cat. She is a good cat. I would post more pics of me petting the cat but she is not around right now and I am too lazy to find her.

This couch is terrible. Next month should be good to start doing something about it though. We're thinking the planks suggestion you made Six-Of-Hearts.

Jenner
Jun 5, 2011
Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.


Gumbel2Gumbel posted:

This style normally comes with powerful magnets inside to keep it together, not weights. Are you telling me this is missing the magnets? Maybe one or two got flipped around inside the cushion and the polarity is mismatched.

Edit:. Just tell me the name of the couch and where it's from and I can probably tell you what to do.

Well bought this couch from West Elm. Let me see if I can find it on their website.

Looks like it's their Tillary sofa.

Good luck. I hope you actually get something because we hit this thing up with a stud finder yesterday and the solid stuff is buried too deep inside it to employ Six-Of-Hearts awesome solution.

artsy fartsy posted:

Since the backs are siding off (and not toppling over, right?) you could try what I did to keep my stupid couch cushions from ejecting themselves onto the floor: I wrapped/stapled some of that rubber shelf paper stuff around a small piece of lumber and put it under the cushions. The wood keeps the shelf paper from wadding up. So far it's worked well.

I'm sorry but I have no idea what you're describing here.

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