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Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

E: Make a simulacrum of him out of random garbage floating around in the sewers. Do it slowly so that he sees every rotten shoelace turning into arteries etc. Turn an ancient, crippled rat into the simulacrums heart to really drive the point home. When it is finished, send it up the way he came down.

Then give him the choice of freely surrendering his stolen power, upon which we send him back up after draining him, or joining our cool gang. If he refuses, turn him into a sentient hat or something that the simulacrum will use forevermore.

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dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




Well we could always talk to him and pick up the lay of-

Swedish Thaumocracy posted:

E: Make a simulacrum of him out of random garbage floating around in the sewers. Do it slowly so that he sees every rotten shoelace turning into arteries etc. Turn an ancient, crippled rat into the simulacrums heart to really drive the point home. When it is finished, send it up the way he came down.

Then give him the choice of freely surrendering his stolen power, upon which we send him back up after draining him, or joining our cool gang. If he refuses, turn him into a sentient hat or something that the simulacrum will use forevermore.


Nevermind, nothing's topping this.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


It would be uncouth of me as your host to call you weird and gross, so instead I'll ask what my wife thinks: "you guys are weird and gross!"

But yes, it looks like garbage simulacra is the name of the game, followed by talking to him. Good luck! That's not meant to be ominous, just a general hope!

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Dog Kisser posted:

We'll just have a side story of not!Ulanov going about his daily business like Mr Magoo, making the world a better place by his bumbling

Yes. Please do this.

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




Swedish Thaumocracy posted:

E: Make a simulacrum of him out of random garbage floating around in the sewers. Do it slowly so that he sees every rotten shoelace turning into arteries etc. Turn an ancient, crippled rat into the simulacrums heart to really drive the point home. When it is finished, send it up the way he came down.

Then give him the choice of freely surrendering his stolen power, upon which we send him back up after draining him, or joining our cool gang. If he refuses, turn him into a sentient hat or something that the simulacrum will use forevermore.


(that's a yes vote, too shocked to voice)

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Toilet Rascal

Swedish Thaumocracy posted:

E: Make a simulacrum of him out of random garbage floating around in the sewers. Do it slowly so that he sees every rotten shoelace turning into arteries etc. Turn an ancient, crippled rat into the simulacrums heart to really drive the point home. When it is finished, send it up the way he came down.

Then give him the choice of freely surrendering his stolen power, upon which we send him back up after draining him, or joining our cool gang. If he refuses, turn him into a sentient hat or something that the simulacrum will use forevermore.


It's beautiful. Throwing my support behind this masterpiece of squickery.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.



“Good evening, Ulanov Rastochka Artemovich. You have something of mine.” He didn't look like much, pants around his ankles, waist deep in slime - some of it of his own making. By contrast, you were a goddess; eyes glowing amber, skin reflecting the light like mahogany, filth fleeing from you like oil from soapy water. And yet… something in his eyes made you feel flatter. Lesser. Your eyes narrowed.

He drew himself up, pulling on his pants and shouting as he sought to recover his dignity. “I demand to know the meaning of this! Aren't I paying you crooks enough!? You send a… a black sewer witch after me instead of coming to my office like regular drat people? gently caress you!”

You flicked a finger, and a gobbet of sludge spattered across his tongue. Really now, the causal racism was a little much. Here was a man used to getting his own way, even in unfavorable situations. You hadn't pushed him far enough.

Yet.

While he retched, the current swirled around him. A crumpled bit of newspaper seized suddenly, then began to expand and contract. More wrappers slid towards our, clicking into place as though they were meant to, and all the while growing more defined, looking more and more like-

“A lung? What the gently caress is that? Listen, lady, one call from me and you're dead. I have connections in the… what's happening!?”

Another lung joined the first, coughing out sewer water and writhing as they were joined by banana peel kidneys and earthworm veins. Broken glass bottles rose from the more and clicked together into a hollow, fragile skeleton that filled with water and froze into solidity. The body clawed at the surface of the water, seeming to fight off the rotten leaves that crawled across it like leeches. These too knitted together, forming a boggy layer of skin. It was starting to look like-

“Is that me? IS THAT ME!? HEL-”
“Almost.”

It took a lurching step towards him and…

5d6+3 = 13 vs. 4d6 = 18 [Lady of Luck Triggered! 1 Momentum Lost!]

Fell face first into the water. Ulanov gasped and you wrestled silently for control, picking through the tangled stands of probability for the moment where

5d6+2 = 21 vs. 4d6 = 18 [No Momentum Gained!]

It rose again, its gasp mirroring the genuine article. Its back gaped open, waiting for the piece de resistance. “It's you, Ulanov. A pile of garbage with brittle bones… and a rat's heart!” You drew a rat from the sewer wall and plunged it into the cavity, feeling it stiffen and soften and warp as you released it. When you drew your hand away, the golem was him - and he screamed. Both of them.

And then - with another casual flick, he was gone, sent up the pipe the real one had come down, to emerge spotless and clueless up above. He certainty wouldn't have any more of those power bars, he thought. You know he thought that because you told him to.

The real Ulanov was sweating now, though it was tough to tell with how sodden he was. “I say again. You've taken something from me. I want it back.” He met your gaze with an unexpected fierceness, and you braced yourself.

5d4+2 = 13 vs. 3d6 = 7 [Under Suppression!]

The struggle was brief and very strange. You felt his pressure against your will, but it was less a wall of iron and more of… molasses? Your power dragged through his, held back and down by a sort of metaphysical depression. Against defenseless humans, he would be impossible to resist - a grinding slug of a power that would make speaking against him an affair of mind-numbing boredom and confusion. Unluckily for him, you were all but defenseless.

He knew it, too. His gaze drifted off yours and he slumped against the wall, too filthy to care. “Go on then - what have I taken from you, you golden eyed bitch? I was given my gift freely, so go find those bastards instead.”
“Too bad. I've got your here right now, so they'll have to wait their turn. So: will you give unto me what is mine freely, or do I have to be more... persuasive?”
“gently caress you. They'll find me first, they need me. They're probably coming right now - because otherwise I'm blowing this whole story up in their faces.”

Well. You gave him a chance.

    1A. Turn Him Into A Hat Or Something! [Difficulty 4?, Momentum +0]
    You could care less about whatever piddly hold Manos seemed to have on him. Wave your hand and turn him into something trivial that his doppelganger could wear. Keep him conscious and all that, naturally, but out of your way. Drain his powers while you're at it.
    1B. Talk To Him!
    He was cowed, if not totally beaten. He might be more amenable to chatting now. (Question time! Questions only get answered if this one wins, mind you)
    1C. Kill Him. [Difficulty 2?, Momentum -2]
    Even with his power, he won't be able to prevent you from just braining him with a pipe. You can probably just drain him afterwards, you think.
    1D. Let Him Go! [Difficulty 1?, Momentum -3]
    It made your teeth itchy to think of letting him leave, but it made a strange sort of sense. Two bank managers, running around up there? Manos would have to act to nip that in the bud. And then you could strike - or watch and laugh as they wasted resources.
    1E. Drain Him, Leave Him. [Difficulty 4?, Momentum +0]
    Take his powers and leave him down here. That may… not be so good for his health? He'll be exhausted, if not unconscious, and it's pretty gross down here. On the other hand, who gave a poo poo about this guy?
    1F. Something Else!
    You had a better idea in mind...

---
ABILITIES
    Nisa
    Never Ever Give Up: Do anything - as long as the dice are with you. [PASSIVE]
    Lady Of Luck: When active and Momentum is >0, reroll a failed roll and consume one Momentum. [ACTIVE]
    Chance
    Never Ever Give Up: Do anything - as long as the dice are with you. [PASSIVE]
    Dealer’s Choice: Chance gains +1 to roll when he uses his powers to grant support to you or Kelly. [PASSIVE]
    Kelly-Anne
    KARN’s Wrath: In melee combat, KARN rolls 4d6o6! against physical attacks - on both attack and defense. [PASSIVE]

nothing to seehere
Nov 11, 2010


Given his power is turning our d6's into d4s, we have a 84% of succeeding in another diffculty 4 check with lady of luck. So, given that, 1E

McSpanky
Jan 16, 2005




1A gently caress this guy.

Arkanomen
May 6, 2007

All he wants is a hug


E then C

He was a terrible garbage person before. Now he can at least be a pleasant garbage person for the rest of his garbage life. Strip the power, drain his knowledge and then kill him for the rats. The fake version can suddenly have a "stroke" and wake up with no knowledge, a sudden positive change i personality and a desire to make amends to his family.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.



Harsh!

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Toilet Rascal

1B

"It is tempting just to take it from you and to slowly dissolve you into the garbage with a rat for a heart you just saw us make you out of. But I am feeling generous, magnanimous and forgiving. For now, provided you mind your tongue from here on in. Tell me your story, how you got mired in with Them, and given a blessing which was not theirs to give. I can let you live and be happy, Ulanov Astemovich, if you give me truthful incentive to do so. What they gave you was but the merest fraction of my power, all of which is gathered here to be reunited. So, talk, or be silent. I will react accordingly."

Toughy
Nov 29, 2004

"A grudge over food is deeper than the ocean."

1E be done with this guy.

Magnusth
Sep 25, 2014


A, but somehting his doubleganger can eat. He'll stay concious untill he's poo poo out.

dont be mean to me
May 2, 2007

I'm interplanetary, bitch
Let's go to Mars




Arkanomen posted:

E then C

He was a terrible garbage person before. Now he can at least be a pleasant garbage person for the rest of his garbage life. Strip the power, drain his knowledge and then kill him for the rats. The fake version can suddenly have a "stroke" and wake up with no knowledge, a sudden positive change i personality and a desire to make amends to his family.

You're all right.

Outrail
Jan 4, 2009

www.sapphicrobotica.com


Yeah Ark sounds good. He's a garbage person and you can't fix broken.

AJ_Impy
Jun 17, 2007



Toilet Rascal

How about Alter Causality so that he was only ever a succession of garbage puppets loyal only to us?

Simply killing him has no style and serves no purpose. Rendering it so he was never truly alive in the first place? That's something we haven't done yet.

Swedish Thaumocracy
Jul 11, 2006
Jinat Ulukaï, hâ oagé.

AJ_Impy posted:

How about Alter Causality so that he was only ever a succession of garbage puppets loyal only to us?

Simply killing him has no style and serves no purpose. Rendering it so he was never truly alive in the first place? That's something we haven't done yet.

Our last foray into time travel ended so well I can't see how this could possibly go wrong. I like the overall Keikakuness of this idea. Supported.

Dog Kisser
Mar 30, 2005

But People have fears that beasts do not. Questions, too.


AJ_Impy posted:

How about Alter Causality so that he was only ever a succession of garbage puppets loyal only to us?

Simply killing him has no style and serves no purpose. Rendering it so he was never truly alive in the first place? That's something we haven't done yet.

That's entering Difficulty 6-7 territory, and you'll still be hitting his Suppression. It's still possible to do, though! Go for it! It'll work this time!

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HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

Then you remember. You have a message to send.

Something everyone must know.

You have the power. You have the means.

Let it be known.




1A

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